by E. L. Todd
The day turned out to be far worse than I imagined. I might lose my job, and Volt was looking for something serious with a woman. It bothered me in a way I could never explain. I didn’t have feelings for him anymore, but I did at one point. I’d fantasized about those lips all over my body. I pictured my fingers running through his hair. The fact we were such good friends and he never considered me as a possible girlfriend was hurtful.
But I should get over it.
He never saw me the way I saw him. To him, I was always that weird girl who got lost in the city. I was that teacher that dressed like a hippie. I was that friend he could turn to for everything—and that’s all.
“You should go back to your date. If I’d known, I wouldn’t have bothered you.” I pulled my knees to my chest and closed off from him, feeling embarrassed that I called when I shouldn’t have.
“You never bother me, Taylor.”
“You’re just saying that…and I appreciate it.”
He scooted closer to me on the couch and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “You know I’m not.” He pulled me to his side and rested my head on his shoulder. “My place is right here—next to you.”
His closeness felt so nice that I could finally breathe easily. I didn’t think about work and all the headaches associated with it. All I cared about was that moment and how safe I felt. Volt chased away my pain like magic. He always knew the right thing to say and when to say it.
I linked my arm through his and listened to his shallow breathing. The blank TV faced us, and I could see our reflection in the screen. His head rested against mine, and his t-shirt clung to his muscled shoulders and powerful chest. His chin was smooth like he shaved that evening and his usual scent washed over me like the smell of my favorite candle.
I wanted to stay like that forever.
Time seemed to stop when we were together. Nothing from the outside world could penetrate us. It was just him and I against everything else. We understood each other on an innate level, better than any other relationship I’ve ever had.
“Taylor?” His deep voice resonated in my ear, making me feel at peace.
“Yeah?”
He turned his head slightly so he could watch my expression. His breaths fell on my skin, warm and inviting. “Why didn’t you call Sage?”
His question hung unanswered in the air. I heard what he said but didn’t understand why he said it. “What do you mean?”
“Why did you call me instead of him?”
“I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking.” When I was upset, my instincts just kicked in. My body worked on its own and did whatever was necessary to survive. Volt was the first person that popped into my head. It wasn’t Sage, and it wasn’t Sara. It was only him. “Why?”
He was silent, not moving and hardly breathing. He finally brushed his face against mine, turning his attention to the blank screen in front of us. Our eyes met in the reflection, and they remained there. “No reason.”
***
Sage and I sat side by side at the restaurant. Volt and his date weren’t there yet, so we sat together in tense silence. Sage wasn’t himself that evening. He didn’t say much, and when I asked him a question, he had even less to say.
The basket of bread sat on the table, but neither one of us reached for a bite. The butter was soft, and the cheese had just been grated. Two glasses of red wine had been poured, but neither one of us reached for them.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
I kept searching for them through the windows, wanting to know what Julia looked like. Was she a blonde? A brunette? Possibly a redhead? “Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Seem nervous.”
“Just tired.” And out of place. I wasn’t sure why I was so nervous to meet Volt’s girlfriend. I’d met new people before. This shouldn’t be a big deal.
“Whose idea was it to have a double date?”
“His.” But I pressed it.
“Kinda weird but whatever.”
“Why is that weird?” I tore my gaze from the window and looked at him.
He drank his wine to cover his unease before he returned the glass to the table. “Never mind.”
“You can tell me.”
He straightened in his chair like I might give him a bad response. “I think he’s into you, and this is just a complex way of pretending he’s not.”
Sage had never really dropped his suspicion of Volt. “Why is it so hard to believe we’re just friends?”
“Because neither one of you are gay.”
“You really need to let this go.”
“There’s nothing to let go,” he said calmly. “I still believe he has a thing for you. You can believe what you want, but I know what I see. I’m not jealous or angry. But I’m not stupid either. Maybe one day you’ll realize it. Maybe not.”
“If Volt had feelings for me, he would have said something a long time ago.”
Sage didn’t respond, telling me the conversation was over. “How was work this week?”
“It was okay…” I told him about my day from hell a few days ago, and he comforted me just the way Volt did.
“It’ll get better. Just keep pushing through.”
“Easier said than done.”
“It’ll be fine in the end. It always is.”
“How was your week?”
“Pretty good,” he answered. “The Yankees won, so everything is right in the world.”
I chuckled. “It’s a pretty simple world you live in.”
He shrugged. “I like simple.”
Volt walked into the restaurant, and my head immediately snapped in his direction. A woman was with him, and I wasn’t prepared for how she would look. She was a tall brunette, nearly as tall as he was. She wore a long skirt and a top that showed some of her flat stomach. She had dark skin like she was exotic, and her brown hair was long and shiny. She had sparkling eyes and a perfect smile. Without any further information, I knew this woman was a model.
No doubt about it.
She and Volt approached our table, and it took me a second to realize I needed to stand up. I lost my footing and couldn’t really think. Her beauty forced me to take a step back.
Sage immediately turned his gaze on her, and he stared at her longer than necessary.
I wanted to be mad, but I couldn’t blame him. She really was gorgeous.
Volt turned to Sage, and their mutual dislike rang in the air. He held up his hand for a handshake. “Nice to see you again.”
“Likewise.” Sage shook his hand quickly before letting go.
Now I felt stupid wearing an old dress and sandals. My hair was straight, because I didn’t have time to do it. I was a plain blob in comparison to this unique woman. I really wished I could stop comparing myself to her. I never did that sort of thing before.
Volt turned to me but didn’t touch me. “Hey.”
“Hey.” My usual enthusiasm died in my throat. For some reason, I didn’t want to see him. I actually felt awkward.
He turned to his date and introduced her. “This is Julia.”
“Hi, Julia.” Sage stepped forward and shook her hand much longer than he shook Volt’s. He quickly cleared his throat and stepped back, looking at the ground and the people in the restaurant.
“Hi. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” I shook her hand next, feeling more hideous the closer I came to her.
“You too.” She had a Spanish accent. I couldn’t determine exactly what dialect it was. It definitely wasn’t regular Spanish. It seemed more South American. “Volt has told me so much about you.”
“I hope he said good things,” I said with a chuckle.
“For the most part,” Volt said. “But a lot of bad things too.” He winked at me.
That made me feel better—but only for a second.
We sat down and browsed through our menus. Volt sat directly across from me, and I kept glancing up to watch what he was doing. I wondered where his hands were and if they were to himself.
&n
bsp; Julia moved her hand to his thigh under the table. “What are you getting?”
“Not sure,” he answered. “How about you?”
Sage kept staring at her. When he took a sip of his wine, he spilled some on his shirt.
That’s when I noticed everyone in the restaurant was staring at her.
Volt looked up, and our eyes met. Like he didn’t want to be caught staring at me, he quickly looked away.
Maybe this double date thing wasn’t such a good idea.
***
Julia had her arm hooked through his as they walked outside together. She clung to him like glue. She whispered words only he could hear, and then she would chuckle at his reaction.
We faced each other on the sidewalk and prepared to say goodnight.
“Well, it was nice meeting all of you.” She pressed her tits against his arm because she was tucked into his side so tightly.
“You too,” I said with a smile.
“Yeah…” Sage rubbed the back of his neck and cleared his throat.
“Well, have a good night.” I didn’t have a chance to talk with Volt one-on-one, and I suspected I wouldn’t get the opportunity.
“You too.” Volt turned away with Julia still on his arm. They walked off together and disappeared into the crowd.
I turned to Sage and felt him grab my hand. “You still think he’s just dating her so I won’t think he’s into me?” Any man could take one look at her and know she was out of this world. I’d never seen a person so beautiful other than people on TV.
He chuckled. “Not anymore.”
Chapter Nine
Volt
Julia never dropped my hand. She squeezed it the entire walk to her apartment. I felt her press against me harder and harder, practically climbing on me. Her desire was hot enough to burn through my skin and shoot directly to my blood.
Shit was about to go down.
I walked her to her apartment with the intention of giving her a friendly hug as a goodbye, but she clearly had something else on her mind. She wrapped her arms around my neck then leaned in and gave me a slow kiss.
I liked the kiss. She knew how to move her mouth and make a man crumble. But it was nothing like what I had with Taylor. Our kisses were so strong they bruised our mouths. The heat between us was enough to burn down a swamp. I’d been with so many women in my lifetime, but it only took one special one to completely turn my world upside down.
And this woman wasn’t her.
I broke the kiss before it escalated into something more. Julia was a great person, and every guy in the world hated me in that moment. And with what I was about to do, they would all think I was an idiot too. “Thanks for having dinner with me.”
She stared at me with the same hungry expression. “Come inside.” Her forwardness was sexy because it wasn’t desperate. We’d been out a few times and she never made a move like this. She was truly ready.
But I wasn’t.
If I went to bed with her, I would think about someone else. And that would be a huge dick move. I couldn’t be with one woman while pretending it was someone else. And I couldn’t get Taylor out of my mind no matter how hard I tried. Getting to know Julie was supposed to make me forget about her. Somehow, it made me want her more. “I’m flattered, but I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I should just end this now before things get too deep.
“Why not?” She kept her arms around my neck, locking me in place.
“I just…” It would be even worse if I told her the truth. “I won’t call you again. And that wouldn’t be fair to you.”
Instead of being hurt by that, she looked me right in the eye. This woman was fierce in her confidence. “It’s her, isn’t it?”
“It’s who?”
“Taylor.”
Shit, did I make my feelings that obvious to someone I’d only known for a few weeks? “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Yes, you do.” Instead of pulling out her claws, she smiled. “I saw the way you looked at her. I can tell there’s something there.”
Since I’d been caught, I refused to lie. “I’ve been trying to get over her. Nothing has worked.”
“Why are you trying to get over her?”
“Because I can’t be with her.”
“Who says you can’t? If you want something, just take it.”
“In case you didn’t notice, she’s seeing someone.” I wished I’d met Julia first. I loved her killer attitude and her simple view of the world. When she wanted something she just took it—like right now. She was beautiful and smart, and she excelled in every other category. If we met before Taylor walked into my life, maybe things would have been different.
“Then make her stop seeing him.”
“Like, break them up?”
She shrugged. “You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do, right?”
“No. That’s not me.”
“You aren’t a fighter?” she asked.
“She really likes him. I’m not going to break them up and take away something that makes her happy. Not my style.”
“Does she know how you feel?”
I shook my head.
“Then it’s time for you to move forward.”
“I tried…but failed.”
“No, you haven’t really tried.” She pulled out her keys and got her apartment unlocked. She leaned against the door with a sexy grin on her face. Then she held up her finger and beckoned me inside.
I stayed on the other side of the door.
“I’ll make you forget about her, Volt.”
“I don’t know about that…” Taylor was permanently ingrained in my body. She was like a scar that just wouldn’t fade away. There was no possibility of us, and I needed to let it go. But every time I tried, I just held on tighter. “What do you get out of it?”
“A killer orgasm, I would hope.” She smiled then pulled me inside her apartment.
“I can do that. But I can’t sleep with someone while thinking about someone else. And that’s exactly what will happen.”
“I’m okay with that.” She grabbed my hand and pulled me into her bedroom. “Trust me. You’ll forget about her soon enough.”
I hoped she was right. I never hoped for something so much in my life.
***
I sat at our usual table with two muffins placed on saucers. Two cups of steaming coffee were placed next to the plates, and I glanced at my watch every few minutes as I waited.
Taylor emerged from the crowd and headed my way. She wore skin-tight jeans with heeled boots and a brown jacket over a pink scarf. Her hair was done in curls, something she rarely did.
I was supposed to be indifferent to her.
But I thought she looked more beautiful than she ever had before.
“Hey.” She dropped into the seat across from me and pulled her hair over one shoulder.
We hadn’t spoken all week, and I only reached out to her because I was worried about her. And…I really missed her. Spending time with Julia didn’t seem to make a difference. My heart belonged to this woman across from me, and there was nothing I could do to shake it.
It sucked.
“Hey.”
She immediately broke off a piece of her muffin. “Thanks for the treat.”
“Sure thing.” I sipped my coffee just so I had something to do. “How was work?” It was the dreaded question, but I had to ask.
“It’s…” She sighed and didn’t finish the sentence. “Blah.”
“Blah? I’m not sure that’s a word.”
“Actually, it is,” she said. “And it perfectly describes how I feel.”
“I’m sure things are getting better. Just stick to the curriculum and the common core standards, and you’ll be fine. I’ll help you with the next exam.”
“It’s not that. All the staff at the school hate me now. They think I’m incompetent.”
“They do not.”
“Yes, they do,” she argued. “Nat told me.”
W
hy the hell would she say that to her friend? “Who cares what they think?”
“I do,” she snapped. “I work with these people every day. Of course I care.”
“Well, don’t. You’re a damn good teacher, and I would know.” I wish I could fix all of this for her, but it was out of my hands. I didn’t want to tell my parents that Taylor was the teacher from Bristol Academy. It would create a lot of drama when I could just wait for it to settle down on its own. No matter what, when they figured it out, it would be awkward. But we’d cross that bridge when we came to it. “Don’t let their opinions sway you. Just focus on the prize, and do what you need to do.”
She stopped eating her muffin and slouched in the chair. “I want to quit, Volt. I’ll live off my savings if I have to. I don’t care at this point.”
“You aren’t quitting.”
“Yes, I am. I hate it there.”
“Taylor, listen to me.” I was giving her sound advice, and she needed to take it. “Finish out the year then apply for a job somewhere else. It’s going to be damn hard to find another job when they see that you quit in the middle of your first year. Like, really hard.”
“I can get a job doing something else. It’s not the end of the world.”
“But teaching is what you love.”
“Ha.” She took a big bite of her muffin. “It doesn’t love me.”
“Baby, don’t give up.” I cringed when I realized what I just blurted out, and I had to stop myself from dragging my hands down my face. I’d never had these kinds of slip-ups before, but I was throwing that word around left and right. I didn’t even call the others by that name.
Taylor was too upset to care about the endearment. “It’s a hostile environment, and I don’t want to be there.”
“You aren’t quitting. That’s the end of the story.”
She focused on her muffin and said nothing else. Her irritation was heavy in the air around her, building up until it formed an impenetrable haze. “Julia was nice.”
It was the strangest thing, talking about her. I felt guilty, like I did something unforgivable. I slept with Julia, not just once, but several times. The sex was good, but I kept thinking about Taylor, and when we were finished, I was unsatisfied. I had to break it off with her soon. It wasn’t going anywhere, and I was just wasting her time. But it was depressing to think about. If I couldn’t move on with Julia, then there was no hope for me. “She’s great.”