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I explained I couldn’t come home with him for Christmas yet, but he told me he would stay with me then instead. We argued over that one. I’m not going to be responsible for him being away from his family or have his mother hating me before she even really knows me. No. Way.
He shut me up with a kiss that curled my toes and dialed his mother behind my back, only stopping kissing me when she answered. Trevor doesn’t fight fair.
After a long phone call with Tina, Trevor’s amazing mom, and neither one of them willing to take no for an answer, it seems I’m going to the Collins’ home next week for three days. And meeting the family. All the family. I want to puke.
So now, because I’m a coward and don’t want to hear the heartbreak in her voice, I’ve sent an email to my mom letting her know I won’t be home for the holidays—or in the foreseeable future—if Lucas is there. I’m not comfortable around him for reasons I’m not ready to talk to her about yet. And I need her to go along with me right now, even if she doesn’t understand or it makes her uneasy. We can all be uncomfortable together.
Except for Tina, apparently. Trevor is almost positive she’s already picking out our china pattern and making a deposit on the church. Which doesn’t make me uncomfortable at all, of course.
Trevor walks over to me and sits on the edge of the bed. “I know that was scary and a horrible to do, but I think you did the right thing, Say.”
I shut all the windows on my laptop and close it while he rubs circles on my back.
“She may not be happy about it, but she loves and wants the best for you. That’s one thing you said you always knew. Your mom wants you to be happy and healthy, you know?”
“I know she does. It’s the one thing she has always said over and over to me growing up.” I slide off the bed and bend to grab my heels. “And I mentioned that to her in the … hey!”
“Sorry.” Trevor smirks when I turn around to face him. “You know what? No, I’m not. I shouldn’t lie. You can’t stick your rear in the air, tempting me like that, and not expect me to do something about it.” He stands and pulls me into his arms. “Especially not in this dress.” His arms tighten around me, and he bends down, placing kisses below my ear. “You look stunning, and you smell awesome too. I don’t know if we should go to this party, after all.”
“No, you don’t,” I moan and push against his chest. “It took me an hour to get ready and make myself look this good.” I turn in a circle, twist out of his grasp, and cross the room to put some space between us. “We’re going to this party, and you’re going to behave.” My feet slide into my heels before I sashay out the door. “And you’re going to like it.”
He laughs behind me. “I’m going to like watching you all night and knowing you’re coming home with me,” he mutters, grabbing the keys off the hook and opening the door so I can walk through it.
Trevor is careful, making sure I see him lock the door before he grabs my hand and pulls me to the stairs. He steps in front of me, takes the first step before I can go down, and turns so we’re almost eye level.
“In case you weren’t clear on my meaning earlier.” He wraps my arms around his neck. “You shouldn’t plan on sleeping when we get home tonight. I’m going to do all kinds of dirty things and muss you up properly.” He plants a slow kiss on me to make sure I get his drift. We stand there lost in the moment and in each other. He looks smug when he pulls back from me.
“Is that so?”
“Yeah, that’s so.” He lowers a hand to my cheek and gives it a squeeze. “I’m going to take a bit of time with this right here.”
I smile at him and run my fingers into his hair before kissing him again, my body rubbing against his and causing his body to react. I don’t need to say anything. He knows how I feel. I give his hair a little tug and end the kiss. Then I sidle past him with a smile.
“Promises, promises.”
“Yes, it is.” He opens the door of his truck for me. I yank my skirt up a little so I can climb into the seat. His hands circle my waist, and my feet come off the ground. “Need a boost?” He’s hunched over me with his mouth at my ear. Anyone watching would think horribly naughty thoughts. My body comes to attention.
I shift to sit and pull my dress back down. “I think your hands have done plenty already tonight. Thanks.” His face falls, and I snicker behind my hand while I watch him walk around the front of the truck and climb into the driver’s seat. “Let’s go. I don’t want to be late.”
“You’re excited about tonight.”
“I love parties. And I love Christmas. And I love—” I stop. Because I can’t go there yet. No matter how much my heart is bursting to tell him, the risk is still too big to go all the way there. “And I love everything about tonight.”
Trevor doesn’t turn to look at me or say anything in return. He peers at the road, continuing to drive with his hand on my knee. A small smile plays at his mouth, the crinkles beside his eyes growing. He loses the battle and grins widely but never says a thing.
“No, not the blue one!” I yell across the room at Trevor. “Get the shiny gold bag! Trevor!” He’s not listening to me. At all.
Trevor keeps on moving to the gigantic blue gift bag that is too big to even sit on the white elephant gift table. He’s a man on a mission, no matter what I holler at him.
“Trev! Babe!” The room goes silent.
“Did you just call him babe?” Kirby calls out from another table.
“Yeah, have you been holding out on us, Collins?” Cooper, one of Trevor’s buddies, throws a napkin in his direction and misses.
Kirby jumps back in. “Seriously, spill it, you two.”
“Inquiring minds want to know.” Soft-spoken Lauren pipes up from my left, flashing a mischievous grin in my direction.
“Oh my word,” I moan into my hands. My face burns, and I know it’s bright red.
“You’re the one who went off and called him babe at the top of your lungs.” Micah laughs from across the table. “What did you think would happen?”
“I clearly didn’t think,” I whisper to them both. Lauren giggles and ducks her head when I glare at her.
“Babe.” Trevor makes his way back to our table with a distinct swagger. He’s enjoying this a little too much. “I guess it’s time we let them all in on our secret, don’t you?” A smile splits his cheeks, and it’s beyond ridiculous.
“Oh yes, please tell us all the dirty little secrets.” Micah doubles over and puts her head on the table, wiping her eyes.
I’m going to take her out in her sleep later. When she least expects it.
“There are no—” I say, but Cooper interrupts me.
“So, you’re a thing.” He raises his fist to bump Trevor’s before he gets back to our table with the absurd gift bag still in his other hand. “No wonder you’re never available to go shoot hoops or grab a beer lately.”
“Sorry, dude.” Trevor turns from him and looks me directly in the eye. “But Sabra’s insatiable. She monopolizes me. All of me.” He smirks and laughs loudly.
“Trevor,” I shriek over all the laughter.
“And who can blame her when she can have all this?” He spins with his arms out to his sides, walks over, and plops the enormous bag in front of me.
“You’re going to pay for this. You know that, right?”
He sits next to me and pulls his chair extremely close to mine. Trevor smiles even bigger. “Promises, promises.”
My head snaps in his direction, and I watch his shoulders shake with mirth.
Micah calls out, “Enough already. Just open the damn bag or get a room!” More heat crawls up my neck, and I turn to glare at her. “What? You didn’t want them all to know you’re doing it?” She looks at me with wide eyes.
Dear lord, now would be a good time for the earth to open and swallow me whole.
I turn back to Trevor, gritting my teeth. “Can we please open the bag so the next number can go?”
“Sure.” He shrugs nonchalantly. “Dig in.”
I yank some of the tissue paper out and push my hand to the bottom of the bag until I feel fabric of some kind. Fisting the smooth material, I pull it out and shove it into Trevor’s chest, forcing him to grab it. His smile goes even wider. Immediately, I see the mistake I’ve made.
Trevor unfurls the satin and lace and stretches it across his body. “Sabra,” he teases. “I adore you, but I don’t think this was meant for me.” He stands and turns in a circle again with a red satin nightie lined in white fur held out for everyone to see.
I slap my hands over my eyes and shake my head while Trevor and everyone else laughs. The sound booms through the room. With a stealth he doesn’t see coming, I stand next to him and tug the nightgown out of his hands.
“I don’t know, Trev,” I say in a singsong voice, shaking the scrap of material at him. “Tonight is about revealing all our secrets, after all. Maybe you should tell them yours, too.”
I toss the nightie in his face and grab my phone before bolting out the door of the room and into the lodge bathroom, yelling, “Number seventeen, it’s your turn!”
Trevor’s laughter rings out louder than anyone else’s in the background.
I’m standing at the sink washing my hands when the door opens and Trevor saunters inside.
“You can’t come in here. This is the girls’ room.”
“You were proud of yourself back there, weren’t you?” Trevor crowds my space and cages me in with his hands on either side of me, holding the counter. He nudges my legs apart and glides one of his own between them. “I think I’m going to have to remind you of a few things, Sabra.”
“Oh, yeah?” I wrap my arms around his neck and press my chest into his own. “And what’s that, babe?”
His hands move to my waist, and a laugh escapes me when he lifts me onto the bathroom counter. The heat from earlier is gone. Now there’s a burning traveling through my entire body as his hands slip and slide over my curves. His eyes are darker. The smile on his lips wicked. Liquid fire runs through my veins and pools in my center when one of his hands runs up my leg and under the skirt of my dress.
“Trevor,” I groan into his mouth. “Maybe we shouldn’t start something we can’t finish.”
“I can finish it, sweetheart.” He takes the kiss deeper while his hand creeps farther under my skirt. “You just have to be able to take everything I give you.”
A laugh outside the bathroom door and Micah’s voice saying, “I’ll just be a minute, Logan,” has us splitting apart faster than if my dad had walked into the room. Micah barrels through the bathroom door with a secretive grin on her face as I’m hopping off the sink, straightening the skirt of my dress, and fixing my lipstick in the mirror.
Trevor leans against the wall of the bathroom with his legs crossed at the ankles and hands in his pockets. Cool as a cucumber as always.
“Hey.” Micah’s step falters when she spots Trevor in the bathroom. “Everything okay?”
“Yep.” I grab a paper towel to wipe my hands off after rinsing them in the sink for no real reason.
“I was checking on her.” Trevor pushes off the wall. “I’ll wait for you outside, Say.”
“Go ahead and go back to the party,” I call after him. “I’m going to step outside on the balcony for some fresh air really quick.”
He hesitates, turning when he’s almost through the door and catching it with his hand. “Are you sure? I can wait and go out there with you.” Concern radiates off him, making my heart swell inside me.
“No, I’ll just be a minute.” I look over at Micah. “Tell him he worries too much.”
“You worry too much, Trevor,” she hollers and walks into a stall, shutting the door.
“And that’s my cue to get out of here.” He smiles at me. “I’ll see you in a minute.”
I follow him out the door, grab his hand, and give it a squeeze. “Thank you for coming with me tonight. I’m having so much fun.”
“There’s no place I’d rather be.” He pulls me to him for a tight hug. I love the feel of his arms around me. “Hurry back.” He drops a quick kiss to my lips and turns me toward the French doors leading out to the balcony.
I throw a smile over my shoulder at him and step out onto the balcony, taking a deep breath of fresh, clean air as I walk over to the railing. This is my happy place.
Growing up, I would come here to get away from it all. Hours would pass with me reading, drawing, or writing plays I thought were going to get me to Broadway. I’d munch on the lodge’s famous zucchini bread and drink a hot tea in one of the Adirondack chairs snuggled in a blanket. This is one of my safe places. I should’ve brought Trevor out here with me to share this spot with him.
A shadow moves below the balcony, catching my attention as I turn to go inside. I squint into the trees to try to make out what it was. A gasp flies out of me when I realize a person dressed in all black is walking toward me below, softly calling my name. The voice I’ve tried to avoid for months floats up to me. I take a step back, squeeze my eyes shut, and shake my head, grabbing the railing as the world spins around me. Tendrils of fear and darkness snake around me and threaten to suffocate me.
He calls out with a smile in his voice, strong and sure. “Hey Songbird, did you miss me?”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
“What—” The words stick in my throat. I clear it several times before I can continue. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to talk to you for a minute.” He flashes a smile at me and stuffs his hands in his pockets. “Can you come down here?”
“How did you know I was here?” The laughter from inside drifts through the doors, and I allow it to wrap around me for a second. I’m not alone. “They’re expecting me to come back inside.” I reach into the pocket of my dress to pull my phone out. “I only came out here for a minute.”
“Please, Sabra.” His shoulders hunch over with the words. He drops his head and scuffs the toe of his shoe through the dirt and pine needles littering the ground. “I promise it will only take a few minutes. Mom called me upset tonight. I think we should discuss it.” He looks back at me. “She sounded frantic.”
“What?” My heart drops and my stomach squeezes. A wave of panic rolls through me. “Is she okay?”
“I don’t know,” he says quietly. “I’ve never heard her like this before, and I’m worried.” Lucas takes his hands out of his pockets, runs them through his hair, and turns around to look at the trees.
I watch him cautiously not sure if I should run or stay. He seems genuinely upset and different. Quieter.
He turns back around to look at me and sighs loudly. “Please, Sabra. Come here and talk to me for a minute.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. You can tell me what you want from there.” I know he hears me because he places his hands on his hips and frowns. The phone vibrates in my hand, and I look at it. There are three missed calls from my mom and a text message from Micah.
MICAH: Are you coming back in here? Trevor looks lost without you. LMAO
I smile at the ridiculousness of my best friend.
“Fine.” Lucas’s voice drifts back to me. “I know when I’m facing a lost cause.” He paces away from me and into the trees before turning back around and imploring me one more time. “You know, I’d hoped things would be different when I got home. There’re obviously things we need to discuss and work through. Now’s not the place or time for that, of course.” He pauses and rubs a hand down his face. “I thought you’d want to hear what I’d been seeing with Mom the past couple of months. She’s not herself lately, and I don’t think she’s well. Even though she’s not talking about any of it, of course.”
Lucas bends over with his hands on his knees and stands that way for a long moment before standing and turning back toward the forest line. He seems di
fferent. Softer somehow. “We can talk about it another time.” He takes another step toward the thick foliage. “I’m sure it will be fine. Sorry for bothering you.”
A roar rushes through my ears when he steps into the woods. “Wait!”
He pivots and stands as still as a statue, watching me slide my phone back into my pocket and walk toward the stairway leading to the lawn, and beyond that, the forest below.
“I’ll talk to you for a minute.” I take the stairs slowly, cautiously. “But it can only be for a minute or two. Trevor will be out here to join me soon.”
“Sure.” Lucas smiles over at me. “Of course.”
“Tell me about Mom.” I walk across the lawn toward him. “What has you so worried?” My heels sink into the ground, making the journey slower than normal.
“She called me tonight crying. Which isn’t so different from any of the other times in the past few weeks. She’s been crying a lot.” He looks worried and frowns at me.
“Why? What’s wrong with her?” The question slips off my tongue as I yank my foot up and stop to look at the railing of the balcony.
Lucas ignores me and takes a step in my direction with his hand out like he’s going to try to help me.
“No, no. I’ve got it.” I put my hand out to stop him. “Why is she crying so much?”
“Honestly?” He pauses and watches me closely. “She misses you. And she wants us to be a family again. Tonight, she was yelling about you not coming to Christmas and how it was my fault. I couldn’t understand half of what she was saying. She kept ranting about you emailing her and saying you’re celebrating with Trevor instead.”
My shoulders go rigid when I see the dark glint in his eyes.
His lips purse before he expels a long, hard breath. He wipes his face of emotion and takes another step in my direction. “Things are getting serious between the two of you, huh?”
“I don’t want to discuss that with you,” I reply curtly and take a step backward. My heel catches on a hole in the ground, and my ankle twists beneath me. My hands wave in the air trying to find something to grab as my knees buckle and I’m falling to the ground. A glint of metal catches my eye when my phone falls out of my pocket.