The Girl's Guide to Falling in Love

by Sophie Hart

  ‘No, not exactly,’ Simon scrambled to speak. ‘You know she still sees my mum, and occasionally she’ll comment on something on Facebook. But you know all that anyway – there’s nothing to hide.’

  ‘Well, if it was all so innocent, why didn’t you mention it to me at the time?’

  ‘Because I knew you’d react like this!’

  His argument made sense, but Zoe wasn’t behaving logically. ‘Oh, how convenient!’

  ‘I’ve had enough of this,’ Simon muttered, as he pulled himself out of the bath, his body dripping. Angrily, he wrapped a towel around his middle and stomped through to the bedroom, leaving wet footprints on the carpet.

  Zoe followed him, clearly spoiling for a fight. ‘I’m sick of her, Simon. Always popping up, always causing arguments between us. What happens when we get married? Do you want her to come on the bloody honeymoon with us?’

  ‘Don’t be stupid, Zoe.’

  ‘Oh, so now I’m stupid, am I? Not like pretty, perfect Emily, with her degree in English and her fancy job in recruitment. I bet you wish you were marrying her now, don’t you?’

  Simon ignored her, his expression furious as he roughly dried himself and wrenched open the wardrobe door, pulling out a pair of jogging bottoms and a T-shirt.

  ‘Oh my God!’ Zoe’s mouth fell open, as she suddenly realised something. ‘This stupid vow of celibacy – is that what it is? You’re not getting it from me, so you’re getting it from her?’

  ‘Zoe, you’re crazy!’ Simon burst out. ‘You’re just making all of this up from nothing – some idiotic little text that didn’t mean anything.’

  ‘If it didn’t mean anything, then why didn’t you tell me?’ Zoe repeated.

  Simon rubbed his forehead tiredly. ‘We’re going round in circles, Zoe.’

  Zoe was crying now, vaguely aware that she was behaving irrationally, but unable to stop. ‘I can’t believe you did this to me.’

  ‘Did what? I haven’t done anything,’ Simon yelled.

  ‘Don’t shout at me,’ Zoe sobbed.

  ‘I’m not… Listen, Zoe, you have to get a grip. This is ridiculous.’ Simon put his hands on her shoulders, but Zoe shrugged them off fiercely.

  ‘Just get off me. Don’t touch me!’

  ‘Fine,’ Simon snapped. ‘You know what? I’m going out.’

  ‘What, with Emily?’

  ‘I’m serious, Zoe. I’m going out now, and I’ll come home when you’re being normal again.’

  ‘If you walk out now, it means you don’t care about us, or this relationship.’

  ‘Zoe, I—’

  ‘I mean it. If you leave now, don’t bother coming back.’

  Simon glared at his fiancée as he tugged a jumper on over his T-shirt. Without saying a word, he stalked across the bedroom and walked out of the door.

  35

  Chapter Thirty-five

  ‘The greatest pleasure isn’t sex, but the passion with which it is practiced’ – Paulo Coelho

  ‘You must be so excited,’ Annie grinned, reaching out to squeeze Holly’s hand as they took a seat in the hospital waiting room.

  ‘It’s surreal,’ Holly admitted, looking down at her belly and giving it an affectionate rub. She was wearing a pretty patterned maternity dress, which flowed perfectly around her blossoming bump. Her skin was glowing, her blonde hair thick and glossy. After a rocky first trimester with a bad bout of morning sickness, it was fair to say that pregnancy suited Holly. ‘But it’s one step closer to getting to know the little person that’s in here,’ she sighed happily.

  ‘And I get to find out whether I’ll have a niece or a nephew.’

  ‘Yes, Auntie Wotsit,’ Holly teased, as Annie rolled her eyes. ‘I spoke to Mum the other day, and she’s really disappointed that I’m finding out the gender. She thinks it should be a surprise.’

  ‘I know what she means, but it’s so tempting to find out, isn’t it?’

  ‘Yep! I want to start making plans – you know, buying clothes in the right colour and so on.’

  ‘Well, as a qualified psychologist, I would have to advise buying gender neutral clothes and toys, rather than imposing societal stereotypes on an innocent child,’ Annie said primly.

  Holly looked at her in confusion for a few moments, and then the two of them burst out laughing.

  ‘No way,’ Holly shook her head. ‘If it’s a boy, he’s getting the cutest little sailor outfits and playing with Thomas the Tank Engine. If it’s a girl, I’m smothering her in pink and buying the biggest Barbie doll in the shop.’

  Annie pretended to shake her head in disapproval. ‘You’re a lost cause,’ she joked.

  A nurse appeared and they both looked up. ‘Mrs Watson?’ she called. A woman sitting opposite them stood up and waddled off, while Annie and Holly relaxed once more.

  ‘It’s such a shame Greg couldn’t make it. I bet he’s gutted,’ Annie commented.

  ‘Yeah, he was pretty annoyed, but this conference has been planned for ages, and he can’t get out of it.’

  ‘Where is it again?’

  ‘Manchester. He’s supposed to stay overnight, but he’s skipping the schmoozing event this evening and racing back as soon as they’ve finished dinner. I’ve got to ring him the second we get out of here.’

  ‘Does he have a preference? Boy or girl?’

  ‘He says not,’ Holly shrugged. ‘And I think he’s telling the truth. Whilst I’m sure he’d love a boy to play football with, he’d completely dote on a little girl. Like they say, as long as it’s healthy.’

  Annie nodded in agreement.

  ‘And the fact that my husband can’t make it means I get to hang out with my big sister for the afternoon,’ Holly grinned at her.

  ‘Ah, how times have changed. I remember when we used to spend our afternoons hanging out in the pub.’

  ‘You mean you’re not having fun?’ Holly pretended to be offended, as she glanced around the waiting room. Half a dozen women with various sizes of bump were sitting round on uncomfortable plastic chairs, reading the well-thumbed magazines, or chatting in low voices to their other halves. There were medical posters tacked to the walls, offering warnings against allergies and infections, whilst in the corner a muted television was showing Sky News.

  ‘This is a different kind of fun,’ Annie replied carefully.

  ‘Grown-up fun?’

  ‘No, grown-up fun is something else. That’s the thing that got you here in the first place,’ Annie chuckled, patting Holly’s bump as the two sisters started laughing once more.

  ‘Aw, thanks for coming with me, sis. It really means a lot,’ Holly told her, leaning across to give her a hug. ‘I’m amazed you could take time off.’

  ‘I had to switch a couple of things round, but I wouldn’t have missed it for the world,’ Annie assured her, squeezing her back.

  ‘So, when’s it going to be your turn?’ Holly asked cheekily.

  ‘What?’

  ‘You know – marriage, kids, the dream of little girls everywhere.’

  Annie let out a heavy sigh. ‘Why does everyone keep asking me that? I’d have thought you of all people would give me a break.’

  ‘It’s only because I care about you,’ Holly insisted. ‘You’re gorgeous and funny and amazing and clever – I want you to find someone nice.’

  ‘Well, I like the flattery,’ Annie smiled.

  ‘Maybe we’ll find you a hot doctor here,’ Holly suggested. ‘Keep your eyes peeled.’

  At that moment, a short, thin man in his sixties walked past, wearing an unflattering pair of thick-rimmed glasses. He was wearing a white doctor’s coat and carrying a pile of notes, and he was almost fully bald, with the exception of a few random tufts of white hair.

  Annie and Holly looked at each other and burst out laughing.

  ‘Maybe not,’ Annie laughed.

  ‘You see, Mum always said your standards were too high,’ Holly teased. ‘I’m sure he’d make a lovely husband.’ Suddenly, her hand shot u
p to her mouth, and she gasped. ‘I’ve just remembered! What happened with that guy Jamie? I can’t believe I forgot to ask – I’ve totally got baby brain at the moment. Did you confront him?’

  Annie rolled her eyes. ‘No. I mean, it seemed pretty obvious what was going on. He kept trying to call me, but I didn’t pick up. Would you believe he even had the cheek to interrupt one of my client sessions to try and talk to me? I was furious. He made me look so unprofessional.’

  ‘So you never found out the full story?’

  ‘I don’t want to know,’ Annie declared, which wasn’t strictly true. ‘Honestly, sis, I’ve had it with men. I don’t know why I even bother trying. I’ll just stick to fixing everyone else’s relationships, as I’m clearly no good at my own.’

  ‘Annie…’ Holly sighed.

  ‘What?’

  ‘I just feel… I don’t know. That you’re giving up too easily or something. You should have at least given him a chance to tell his side of the story.’

  ‘I don’t see why,’ Annie shrugged. ‘Anyway, it’s too late now. He’s moved offices, so I don’t run the risk of bumping into him every day, and he’s stopped calling, so I think he’s got the message.’

  ‘Right,’ Holly said quietly.

  Annie could sense her disapproval, but pretended not to notice. Despite the air of indifference she was attempting to perfect whenever Jamie’s name was mentioned, and all the stern talks she’d had with herself, Annie couldn’t stop thinking about him. Their blossoming relationship had felt so different to what she’d had with Mark all those years ago, and at times she wondered whether she’d made a huge mistake by not giving Jamie a chance to explain himself. She was always advising her clients that communication was key, but, as ever, Annie seemed unable to take her own advice. And the truth was that she missed him. She missed their easy chats and their flirtatious banter, the fluttering in her belly when she caught sight of him and the dizzying sparks when they kissed...

  On more than once occasion Annie had sat on her sofa, mobile phone in hand, staring at Jamie’s number and having to physically restrain herself from calling him. She would re-read his pleading texts and – ‘Mrs Litvinsky?’

  Annie glanced up, jolted out of her thoughts, as the same nurse came back down the corridor and looked around the waiting room. A heavily pregnant woman in the corner stood up, and Annie and Holly sat back, disappointed.

  ‘What time are you supposed to be in?’ Annie wondered, grateful for the distraction.

  ‘Three thirty, but they usually run a bit late. Hopefully I’ll be next.’

  Annie opened her mouth to reply, but closed it again as she heard her mobile ringing in her bag. She pulled it out, looked at the number and frowned.

  ‘Jamie?’ Holly wondered.

  ‘No, it’s one of my clients,’ Annie explained. ‘Do you mind if I take this? I’ll just be in the corridor, so I’ll keep an eye out for if the nurse calls you.’

  ‘Sure, go ahead.’

  Annie jumped up from her seat and walked quickly from the reception area, pressing the ‘answer’ button on her phone.

  ‘Hello?’

  ‘Hi, Annie, it’s Simon. I’m really sorry to call you out of the blue like this. Are you all right to talk, or are you with someone?’

  ‘I’m not in the office this afternoon – I’m with my sister at the hospital.’

  ‘The hospital? Is she okay?’

  ‘Yeah, she’s fine. She’s having a baby.’

  ‘She’s having a baby?’

  ‘Not right now,’ Annie clarified hastily. ‘It’s just a check-up. So yes, you’re fine to talk. Are you okay?’

  ‘Not exactly.’ Simon took a deep breath. ‘Zoe and I have had a massive row, and she’s talking about calling off the wedding. I don’t know what to do.’

  ‘Oh, Simon! What was the argument about?’

  ‘I don’t even know properly. She found a text on my phone from Emily – you know, my ex – and made it out to be bigger than it was. I probably didn’t handle it very well. I walked out and spent the night at my parents’ place. Now she’s saying she wants me to move my stuff out. But I haven’t done anything wrong, Annie. I swear I haven’t!’

  ‘Okay, Simon, calm down.’ Annie’s mind was racing, and she could hear the stress in his voice. ‘Are you free to meet me this evening?’

  ‘I can come, but I don’t know whether Zoe will. I thought about calling Julia, to see if she can do anything…’

  ‘Yes, that sounds like a good idea,’ Annie confirmed. She glanced back into the waiting room to see that the nurse had just called her sister, and Holly was looking around anxiously. ‘Look, Simon, I have to go now, but I’ll call you as soon as I get out of the hospital, okay?’

  ‘Thanks, Annie. I just love her so much.’

  ‘I know you do. We’ll get this sorted, I promise you.’

  ‘Thanks, Annie.’

  Annie hung up, dashing back through to her sister.

  ‘Is everything okay?’ Holly asked anxiously.

  ‘Relationship crisis,’ Annie explained briefly.

  ‘Work your magic,’ Holly grinned, as the two of them followed the nurse down the corridor, where she showed them into a small room.

  ‘Hello, Holly, how are you?’ smiled the sonographer, as Annie stared round at the unfamiliar equipment.

  ‘Hello, Dr Varshani, I’m very well, thank you. This is my sister, Annie,’ Holly explained. ‘My husband, Greg, couldn’t make it today. He’s at a conference.’

  ‘Oh, that’s a shame,’ Dr Varshani replied. ‘Still, at least you have your sister here to support you. So, Holly, if you could just pop up onto the bed here, and pull your top up for me.’

  Holly did as she was told, and Annie marvelled once again at how her sister’s stomach had changed, the pale skin pulled tightly over the growing bump. It was crazy to think that Holly was growing a baby in there!

  ‘Any concerns, or any changes you’ve noticed?’ Dr Varshani asked, as she washed her hands with antibacterial gel then pulled on a thin pair of disposable gloves.

  ‘I don’t think so,’ Holly replied. ‘Everything seems fine.’

  ‘Wonderful. And you’re twenty weeks now, that’s right, isn’t it?’ Holly nodded in reply, as the doctor smeared lubricant over her swollen belly. ‘So we may be able to tell you the gender today. Is that something you’d like to find out?’

  Holly turned to Annie, her eyes shining. ‘Yes, please!’

  ‘Okay,’ Dr Varshani nodded. She picked up the transducer, and began to roll it slowly over Holly’s stomach. Almost immediately, the noise of a fast, loud heartbeat could be heard, followed by a grainy black and white image on the screen.

  ‘The heartbeat’s strong, so that’s excellent. And it looks as though baby’s sucking its thumb at the moment,’ Dr Varshani explained, pointing to the screen.

  Annie peered harder at the image, feeling a sudden surge of emotion as she made out the unmistakeable shape of a baby on the screen. She could clearly see its eyes, its mouth – it even looked to have Holly’s nose, poor thing! And, like the doctor said, it appeared to be sucking its thumb.

  ‘It’s incredible,’ Annie gasped, fighting back tears.

  ‘Baby seems to be awake right now,’ Dr Varshani noted. ‘So let’s see if we can encourage it to move a little bit.’ She ran the monitor along the underside of Holly’s stomach, and the skin there rippled.

  ‘Ooh, there it goes,’ Holly giggled, feeling the familiar, fluttery movement.

  The doctor peered closely at the screen. ‘As I said, we can’t be a hundred percent certain, but I don’t see any sign of a little winkle there. Congratulations, Mrs Harrington. You’re having a girl.’

  Annie’s mouth fell open, and she looked across at her sister. The two women stared at each other for a moment, joy written across both of their faces, and Annie instinctively crossed the room to take hold of her sister’s hand.

  ‘Congratulations, Hol. You’re having a girl!�
�

  ‘I can’t believe it,’ Holly exclaimed, a tear rolling down her cheek. ‘I can’t wait to tell Greg. He’ll be so excited.’

  Both of them stared at the picture on the monitor, hardly able to believe that in just a few short months, the grainy image would be an actual, real person, one that Holly and Greg would love more than they’d ever loved anything in their lives.

  ‘Do you know what you’re going to call her?’ Annie wondered.

  Holly nodded. ‘We like Poppy. And then Isabella, after Greg’s grandmother. Poppy Isabella Harrington.’

  Annie looked back at the monitor, doing nothing to prevent the tears that were spilling down her cheeks. ‘Nice to meet you, Poppy Isabella Harrington,’ she whispered.

  36

  Chapter Thirty-six

  ‘Ah, women. They make the highs higher, and the lows more frequent’ – Friedrich Nietzsche

  Zoe was staring around her flat – the flat which until extremely recently she’d shared with Simon – and sobbing as though her heart was broken. Which she thought it might actually be.

  She was currently curled up on the sofa beneath the duvet that she’d dragged through from the bedroom, and the TV was playing silently in the background. Her face was puffy from crying, and she had an ice cream stain down the front of her pyjamas, but right now personal hygiene was the last thing on Zoe’s mind.

  Her emotions were all over the place, and she had no idea what she was feeling any more. Simon had been trying to call her, but she wasn’t picking up out of stubbornness, despite the fact that the thing she wanted most in the world right now was to hear Simon’s voice. The catalyst for their split had been a stupid row that had spiralled out of control, and Zoe knew that she’d been jealous and insecure, acting illogically as she felt the pressure of the big day looming. Now she was starting to worry that she’d made a huge mistake.

  The more Zoe thought about it, the more she realised what an idiot she’d been. Simon was a good guy, and there was no way he would ever cheat on her. His proposal had been perfect, and their whole relationship had been like a fairytale. Plus, Zoe still fancied the pants off him, with his handsome face and big, strong body. Their no-sex vow had been far tougher than she’d expected, but she had to admit they’d had a lot of fun along the way, and really learnt a lot about each other.