Love To Hate You

by Isabelle Richards

  “Yeah, the fucking Super Bowl.”

  I give them both a quick hug and run to catch up with my team. It’s time to get my head on straight. Spence is right—if I don’t win this game, Ari’s going to kick my ass.

  Chapter Eleven

  Arianna

  Late last night, a storm rolled in. I’ve never seen anything like it. Lightning lit up the sky, and hurricane force winds blew. We had to take shelter in one of the more stable huts as furious rain poured for hours and hours. Cold, wet, and scared, the whole village huddled in one tiny building, just praying we’d make it through the night. By late morning, the rain finally stopped, and we stepped outside to inspect the damage.

  The village is flooded. The newly installed windows in the school have been blown out. The crops have been destroyed. Despite the devastation, no one complains. No tears are shed. The people of the village come together and get to work cleaning up. It’s refreshing to see people undaunted by life’s curveballs.

  While I lend a hand with the cleanup, I keep an eye out for Henrik. I haven’t seen him since the rain let up. Knowing him, he’s off exploring, and I need him back here. We’re supposed to fly out tonight, and I don’t want to miss our flight because he’s found some flooded river to raft.

  Around four in the afternoon, a van rolls into the village, and Henrik jumps out of it.

  Jogging over to him, I say, “Are we leaving now?” I look at my mud-coated arms and legs. “Give me a sec to wash up, then we can go.”

  He leans against the van. “I’m sorry, Lamm. We can’t fly out tonight. In fact, I think we’ll be stuck here for a few more days. Maybe a week.”

  “A week?” I shake my head. “No, that’s unacceptable. I have to get home. The Super Bowl is today. I want to be there for Chase after the game. There’s got to be a way to get us home.” Typical Henrik! He’s brilliant at coming up with ideas, and he impulsively jumps at them without thinking them through.

  He puts his arm around me, but I push him away. “The roads are flooded. There’s nothing I can do. Tauria”—he points at the driver—“drove me all around to see if there’s any way around the flood, but there’s not. We’re stuck here until things dry out a bit.”

  “I need you to take me to a phone then. I have to call him.”

  “Not to worry, I called Charlie and left her a message.”

  “What?” I punch his arm. “You called her? Jesus, Henrik, I would have liked to talk to her. What did you say?” I hold out my hand. “Forget it. Just give me the phone.”

  He lines up three stones then kicks them one at a time across the field. “I used the phone from a guy I ran into in another village.”

  “Where’s your phone?”

  He scoffs then looks away to avoid my scowl. “Come on, Lamm…”

  “What the hell? How many satellite phones have I bought you? At least five? What the hell do you do with them?” I hold my hand up to stop him. “Don’t bother. Ariko must have a phone. Can we borrow his?”

  Looking down, he digs his toe into the mud and makes a design.

  I push out a frustrated sigh. “You lost his phone too?”

  “You know I’m terrible at keeping track of those things. One minute I’m chatting, then some of the kids dared me to jump in the river. I couldn’t tell them no, so I dove in, and the phone went with me.”

  “Goddammit, Henrik! Just once I wish you’d act like a grown-up.” I run my fingers through my hair.

  He looks at me with those big eyes that usually make women forget all about why they’re angry. They’ve never worked on me.

  “Where’s Ariko’s security team? They must have a phone,” I say.

  “They were out getting supplies when the last storm hit. He has two men left, but they’re saving the phone for rescue-related calls only. You can ask, but those guys are former Mossad. You could pull all their toenails out, and they’d still refuse to give you the phone.”

  Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath. “Find me another phone,” I say through gritted teeth. “I don’t care if you have to walk from village to village—find me another phone.”

  “Lamm…”

  I point at the flooded dirt road. “Go!”

  He flashes me one more set of puppy dog eyes, but I turn my back and walk to my tent. I know he’s not going to find another phone; I just want him out of my sight. I’ve been here for a week, and at first it was nice. When I arrived here, I escaped into this bubble where I wasn’t reminded of Daddy at every turn. The separation from Chase and Charlie has been a relief of sorts because I can’t look at them without thinking about him. Being around everyone hurt so much. But I can only trick my brain into ignoring reality for so long. I can’t just go on pretending that I’m on another adventure with Henrik and Daddy’s waiting for me at home. This trip has been good for me, but I’m ready to go home.

  I hate that I’m missing this time with Chase. It’s the biggest day of his life, and I’m thousands of miles away. He was there for almost every major I won. He cheered in the stands all three times I won the Grand Slam. Feeling his support meant the world to me, even when we were broken up. I want to be there for him. I want to be a part of this with him. Today’s game will be something he’ll always remember, and I wish I were there to share that experience with him. A week ago, I didn’t think I’d ever be able to look at football again without falling apart. But I’ve come a long way in a short time. I’m trying to disentangle Chase from my father so that I can be a part of his life without feeling as though I’m ripping open the wound of Daddy’s death every day. Not being able to talk to Chase is killing me. I want to tell him how proud I am of him, how proud Daddy would have been of him. I’d do anything to hear his voice right now. But I can’t, so I get back to work helping to put the village back together again.

  The break in the storm is short-lived, and rain pours down like a waterfall for five straight days. I’ve never seen this much rain. The rivers and streams overflow into the surrounding fields, covering the once-beautiful lush green land with murky brown water. Pieces of huts, shingles from the roof of the school, and the occasional bicycle drift by. Any hope I might have had of returning home floats away with the debris.

  With each day of rain, the situation becomes more dire. We’re all drenched to the bone, soaked through and through in a way that makes me wonder if I’ll ever dry out. We’re cold and quickly running out of food, bottled water, and things to burn to keep the fire going. If the rain doesn’t stop soon, we’ll be in some serious trouble.

  The children boggle my mind. We’re freezing in a dilapidated building and possibly staring down starvation and dehydration, but it doesn’t dampen their smiles. I’m in awe of their resilience. They sing and dance and find ways to make games out anything. Apparently butt jokes are funny to children in every culture, and of course Henrik has plenty of new ones to teach them. He’s lovely with them but only because he acts like one of them.

  No matter how hard I try, I can’t stop thinking about Chase. Did he win? He’s probably hysterical with worry. Knowing Chase, he probably thinks Henrik and I have run off somewhere. His imagination is running wild, working him into a frenzy. By the time I get home, if I ever get home, I’ll have quite a mess to untangle. If the past is any indication, Chase will accuse me of cheating, we’ll fight, then we’ll break up. I’m not sure my heart can take it again. I need to go home and run into the warmth of his arms, not walk into a landmine. If history repeats itself, it will break me.

  After five days of seemingly endless rain, the sun comes out, but the waters are still too high for us to go anywhere. Ariko assures us that now that the rain has stopped, his security company will send someone for us. It takes two very long, very cold days for the helicopter to arrive.

  The kids are playing a version of Ring Around the Rosie when we hear the blissful whooping sound of chopper blades. Our listless crew sparks to life when men jump out of the helicopter. Ariko’s team brings blankets, food, water, and supp
lies for the people of the village. A medic quickly gets to work, hooking us all up to IVs with antibiotics.

  I’m wrapped up in a blanket, getting my drip, when Ariko scoots next to me. “It seems a dam collapsed. The whole area is in far worse shape than we could have imagined. A second rescue team will be here in a few hours to evacuate us. Henrik, you, and I will fly out after everyone is safe. My men have secured a small plane that will take us to Harare where we need to fly commercial to Johannesburg. I’ve arranged for a jet to take us back to Munich.”

  The wind picks up, and I pull the blanket tight around me. “I’m not going back to Munich. I need to go to San Francisco. I’m sure I can catch a flight home from Johannesburg.”

  He looks embarrassed. “I thought you and Henrik…”

  I shake my head. “Not anymore.”

  “That’s too bad. He loves you.”

  I point at the group of kids sucking on lollipops. “What about them? Where do they go?”

  “We’ll bring them to the Red Cross rescue camp. They’ll keep them safe until the floods recede. Then they’ll be shipped off to orphanages around the country. Wherever they can find a bed. My foundation will work hard to keep as many of them together as we can.”

  The kids burst out in laughter, and the room fills with the heavenly sound of giggles.

  “They can’t be split up. They’re all the family they have. I want to take them all home with me.” I look at him. “Can I do that?”

  “International adoption from Zimbabwe is next to impossible. Especially to an unmarried white woman.”

  “Your family made it work. Maybe I can too.”

  “My father was born here, and both of my parents are African. That goes a long way.” A guilty smile spreads across his face. “And it’s possible my adoption wasn’t entirely legal.” He squeezes my knee. “You can’t take them home, but you can come back. I’ll never turn away help.”

  “This trip has been life-changing for me. I’ll most definitely be back.”

  He looks at the flooded village. “It’s going to take a lot of work to rebuild. But, I know we’ll get there.”

  One of the medics calls for help, so Ariko grabs his IV bag and runs over. One of the kids panicked when the medic tried to insert her IV, so Ariko takes her hand and sings to her. He instantly puts her at ease. He’d formed a bond with every child in the village. He knows how to make each one feel special. Valued. Loved. I’m not sure they feel those things very often. The school and books and buildings do a lot for them, but in these moments, he gives them the greatest gift.

  The second rescue team comes a few hours later and lands on the one patch of land not immersed in water. For kids who haven’t spent their life in front of the television, they’re far more comfortable with the helicopters than I would have expected. One by one, we load them onto rafts and row across the flood waters to the helicopters. They cover their ears when we get close, but the deafening sound doesn’t scare them away. The transport helicopter has to make three trips to collect us all, Henrik, Ariko, and I taking the last chopper with the remaining kids. A few of the children turn green during the ride, but for the most part, they all treat it like the adventure of their lives. Anele, a six year old girl who is painfully timid, starts to panic when she sees how high up we are. Henrik pulls her onto his lap and has her giggling in no time. He may have driven me crazy this trip, but when I see him like this, I can help but remember all the things I love about him.

  Flying over the countryside, it’s amazing and horrifying to see the impact and devastation caused by the flood. I know there’re hundreds, maybe thousands, of people down there who don’t have wealthy soccer players with security teams and helicopters to rescue them. When we get to the camp, the Red Cross leaders run out to meet us and welcome the kids. The camp actually provides better living conditions than they had in their village. We have to say good-bye to the children quickly if we have any hope of catching our plane, but we hug and kiss each one of them before taking off again. It’s painfully hard to leave them, but from what I can see, they’re in good hands. I wish my phone hadn’t been waterlogged from the flood, destroying all my pictures. I’ll always keep these memories with me, and I wish I could share them with Chase. I guess I’ll just have to bring him here to see for himself.

  The helicopter flies us to a field airstrip and a plane that looks as though it’s being held together with duct tape.

  I look at Ariko. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  “Beggars can’t be choosers,” Ariko says. “It’s strong enough to get us to Harare.”

  Henrik puts his arm around me. “I’ve flown in worse. We’ll be fine. Have I ever steered you wrong, Lamm?”

  Taking in his mud caked body, I glare at him. “I don’t even know where to begin with that one.”

  “Don’t even try to act like you didn’t enjoy every second you’ve been here,” he replies looking slightly wounded. “You love our adventures. Adrenaline courses through your veins; your heart pounds. There may be danger, there may be dirt, but you come alive when you’re with me.”

  I open my mouth to respond just as the pilot steps out of the plane. “If you’d like to catch your flights, we’d better get going,” he says in a thick South African accent.

  We’re silent during the plane ride as we all hold our breaths and pray that we make it there in one piece. I grip Henrik’s hand so tightly he’ll be lucky if I don’t break his fingers. It’s the most turbulent flight I’ve ever taken, and I swear it sounds like we lose a piece of the tail when we land, but we make it to a small airstrip outside of Harare. The security company van is waiting for us and drives like a bat out of hell to the airport, and we just barely catch our flight to Johannesburg. Thank goodness they didn’t take issue with my sopping passport.

  While I wasn’t thrilled about hopping on another plane, this one appears to be duct tape-free, and we run onto the jet right before they close the doors. Once on board, I feel as if I can breathe for the first time all day.

  Henrik offers me his hand. “Feel free to squeeze if you need.”

  I smile at him. “I think I’ll be okay this time.” I look over to say something to Ariko, but he’s already asleep.

  As the plane takes off and Zimbabwe becomes a small speck thousands of feet below me, I feel relieved to have survived the last week. With that relief comes guilt. How can I leave them? I’m going home to my life of opulence and luxury, and those children don’t have a bed to sleep in.

  “Stop that,” Henrik says, patting my leg. “Don’t feel guilty. It’s a waste of time. You have influence and resources. Use it to help them. That will do them more good than your guilt.”

  I lean over the armrest and kiss his cheek. “Thank you for bringing me here. You were right. It was just what I needed. I could have done without almost starving to death in a flood, but even that… the whole experience was life-changing.”

  “I always know what you need, Lamm.”

  I notice his hand is still on my thigh, so I tuck my legs under me, making his hand slide off. If it bothers him, he doesn’t show it. He doesn’t look fazed in the least.

  I’m woken up when the pilot announces we’re making our final descent into Johannesburg. Oddly enough, I’m no longer reclined in my seat but lying in Henrik’s lap.

  I jolt upright. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even realize the armrest was up.”

  “I moved it,” he replies. “You couldn’t seem to get comfortable, so I raised it, and you just zapped right out.”

  “Oh,” I reply tentatively. “I hope I didn’t keep you up.”

  “Of course not. I always rest better when you’re close to me.”

  I open my mouth to reply, but Ariko interrupts me. “You’re going to have to run, Arianna. I remember the woman at the desk saying you’ll only have ten minutes to catch your flight.”

  The flight attendants open the door to the plane, and all of the passengers stand. I start to try to push my way through the
crowd when Henrik grabs my elbow.

  “Don’t fly commercial,” Henrik says. “Fly with us to Munich. We can figure it out from there. The last thing you need is to be harassed the whole flight.”

  I can’t help but chuckle as I gesture to myself. “I’m filthy, have been wearing the same clothes for seven days straight, and I smell foul. I’m as incognito as I get. Not even my father would recognize me.” The words come out of my mouth before I think, but as they do, my smile fades. “I just need to get home.”

  Henrik gives me a shy smile then nods. “You do smell foul. Like a mule’s behind. Maybe I need to change your name from Lamm to Maultier.” He scratches his chin. “Nah, it doesn’t have the same ring to it.”

  After we file off of the plane, I have less than five minutes to make my flight, so I hug both of them and offer a quick good-bye then sprint to my gate. Just as I’m about to board, someone spins me around.

  Panting, Henrik stares at me. “Don’t go. Don’t get on that plane.”

  “Henrik, don’t,” I warn.

  “Lamm, I know you love him, but you were floundering, and I knew what to do to save you. Me. Not him. He couldn’t do that. He doesn’t know you like I know you. I know this trip didn’t turn out exactly as I’d thought, but it was an adventure. You said it yourself—it changed your life.” He looks at me with pleading eyes that tug at my heart.

  “I will love you forever for what you’ve done for me, but I love Chase. Being away from him only solidified that for me,” I say. “You’re one of my best friends, but I’m not the right woman for you.”

  He tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear, and I pull back. “You are the right woman for me. You’re just not ready to see it. You still need to work this Chase thing through your system.”

  I put my hands on his shoulders. “You’re not listening. You and I aren’t going to happen. Either you can accept that and we can stay friends, or… I don’t know what will happen.”