The Click Trilogy
Page 15
From: Shelley Manning – August 8, 2011 – 11:17 AM
To: Renee Greene, Ashley Price, Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Worst Nightmare Realized
I hear humiliation is the new black. You wear it well, you fashion goddess, you.
From: Ashley Price – August 8, 2011 – 12:05 PM
To: Renee Greene, Shelley Manning, Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Worst Nightmare Realized
I think I’m going to pee in my pants from laughing. You MUST take photos.
From: Mark Finlay – August 8, 2011 – 12:11 PM
To: Renee Greene, Shelley Manning, Ashley Price
Subject: Re: Worst Nightmare Realized
I think that’s kind of clever.
From: Renee Greene – August 8, 2011 – 1:15 PM
To: Shelley Manning, Ashley Price, Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Worst Nightmare Realized
Mark, seriously? I know there are other indignities and injustices in the world that certainly trump this. But, I still think this form of public embarrassment is completely and utterly horrifying. Well, if this doesn’t get me reincarnated in my next life as a tall, leggy blonde, I don’t know WHAT will.
From: Renee Greene – August 11, 2011 – 9:27 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Public Humiliation – Part Deux
So, I thought dressing up like Spamma White would be the biggest humiliation of my lifetime. Well, it wasn’t even the biggest humiliation of TODAY. We were up all last night rehearsing for the game show presentation. I slept for maybe two hours.
And since I don’t drink coffee, I had no caffeine to keep me up. By the time the presentation rolled around, I was running on adrenaline and fumes. So, when I got on my flight home, I found three empty seats together, pulled up the arm rests, laid down and promptly fell asleep.
After a few hours, I woke up, stretched and went to use the ladies room. Every man on that flight was staring at me. I thought, can’t a young professional woman take a flight for business without getting leers and stares from men. Really!
Well, I got to the bathroom to find the middle button on my blouse had popped open and my black lace bra was fully exposed for EVERYONE to see. Needless to say, I buttoned up and walked back to my seat with blinders on. I’ve never been more mortified in my entire life.
From: Shelley Manning – August 12, 2011 – 8:02 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Public Humiliation – Part Deux
Oh, sweetie. Visions of Cancun in college are dancing through my head. ;) Seriously, you don’t know any of them and will never see them again. You should feel proud. Not that I’m into women, but you’ve got a great rack. So what if a few lonely businessmen got their jollies? They probably went home and paid a bit more attention to their sex-starved wives. You really were doing a public service. And, don’t you have a date with a rock star in a week? I think he will appreciate a girl who knows how to flash.
Speaking of humiliation, I endured my own share the other night. I was caught – by the local police – “neked” in an apartment complex hot tub with a guy we will now refer to as Hot Head.
What is “neked” you might ask? Well, “naked” is having no clothes on. “Neked,” on the other hand, is having no clothes on and being up to no good. Let’s just say Hot Head was certainly “up” but I was really “good” until his neighbors called the cops. Hot Head got a little belligerent and ended up getting arrested. It was quite comical, really, albeit it a little embarrassing.
From: Renee Greene – August 12, 2011 – 8:10 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Public Humiliation – Part Deux
LOL! I do feel a bit better. Thanks.
From: Renee Greene – August 14, 2011 – 9:11 AM
To: Shelley Manning, Ashley Price
Subject: How much does porn cost and can I expense it?
Well, I figured the subject line would certainly catch your attention. So, we have a client that flew into town for a few days to take part in a media training session and video shoot. I pay for his hotel on my corporate credit card and then expense it back to his company. I get the receipt from the hotel today and I see a charge for $16.95 for a movie. Does it really cost that much to watch a movie in your room? Or was he watching porn? How do I expense porn?
From: Ashley Price – August 14, 2011 – 9:15 AM
To: Renee Greene, Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: How much does porn cost and can I expense it?
YUCK! That’s just gross. I would talk to HR about that one.
From: Shelley Manning – August 14, 2011 – 9:43 AM
To: Renee Greene, Ashley Price
Subject: Re: How much does porn cost and can I expense it?
Definitely porn. Gotta hand it to him, the guy sure has balls. HA! HA!
From: Renee Greene – August 14, 2011 – 9:45 AM
To: Shelley Manning, Ashley Price
Subject: Re: How much does porn cost and can I expense it?
LOL!!!!!!
From: Renee Greene – August 17, 2011 – 10:12 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Tonight’s the Night!
Hope you are psyched, jazzed, pumped, amped and overall totally stoked for the show tonight. I’ll pick you up at 6:30.
From: Shelley Manning – August 17, 2011 – 10:13 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Tonight’s the Night!
All of the above!!!!!
From: Renee Greene – August 18, 2011 – 9:05 AM
To: Fly12271@easymailusa.com
Subject: Thanks!
Jason: Thanks so much for dinner the other night. I had such a great time. I must confess, I was a bit skeptical about having dinner with you. I really didn't think we would have anything in common and sort of wondered why you would want to go out with a "normal" person. I mean, you've shown your refrigerator on “Cribs.” But it was so much fun getting to know you. Thanks also for the tickets to the show. My friend and I had the BEST time.
From: Renee Greene – August 18, 2011 – 9:18 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Groupie Much?
I’m guessing you had a good time last night. Sorry to have interrupted while you and the drummer were getting, uh, um, “acquainted” – in what looked like a bit of a hard-core “cuddle,” I might add – but I didn’t want to leave without making sure you were okay.
Jason was so sweet. I told him I would give him a ride back to his hotel, so we got in the car, drove over and then just talked for about 4 hours, with the motor running. When I got up this morning (from my own house…get your mind out of the gutter, girl!) and went to turn on the engine, the battery was dead. UGH! I had to get a jump (again, mind out of the gutter!) so I could get to the office.
But it was all worth it. I’m just sorry that he is leaving tomorrow for Bakersfield. I think if he was a normal person, we could really have something. It was a fun little fling, and the man knows how to kiss.
But I know it could never be anything more. We talked about trying to date from a distance and both agreed that it would be really hard. After seeing what goes on backstage with all of the women (no offense to you, dear friend), I don’t think I’m trusting enough to have a relationship like that.
From: Shelley Manning – August 18, 2011 – 11:07 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Groupie Much?
I had the BEST time last night. Steve is SO FRIGGIN HOT. I think I would cuddle for him! Wow! Did I just say that?!? What a great time. Thanks so much. When I saw the two of you leave together, I knew you wouldn’t sleep with him. After that fiasco with Matt, I just knew you wouldn’t jump in the sack with Jason. I, on the other hand, would and did and I’m not embarrassed to say so. So there! And, I must admit, your “had to get a jump” remark did cause a chuckle. You really know me too well. So, we’ve had our brushes with rock stars and can now go back to dating regular
folk. At least it was fun while it lasted.
From: Renee Greene – August 18, 2011 – 12:01 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Groupie Much?
Regular folk? Oh no. Not me. I’ve got a date tomorrow night with Zac Efron. Did I forget to mention that?
From: Shelley Manning – August 18, 2011 – 2:07 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Groupie Much?
Pretty boy Zac just doesn’t do it for me. I need a real man, like Russell Crowe. You know, a beer-swilling, muscle-bulging, punch-throwing, manly man. Oh heck. Who I am kidding? I’d take Zac in a heartbeat too, just to say I did it. But seriously though, you don’t need to sit alone at home just because you aren’t dating a rock star. You need to get out there and start living. I know what a pisser it was when Matt turned out to be such a shit, and I know you really like this Jason guy. But I think you need to get back online and continue with the Internet dating thing.
From: Renee Greene – August 18, 2011 – 3:17 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Groupie Much?
You like beer-swilling, muscle-bulging, punch-throwing, manly men? Really? I seem to recall someone known as “the Cuddler” lurking around your bedroom. He was more of a chardonnay-sipping, calculator-toting, guy. Don’t you remember the marathon-mocking session we had at Mel’s?
On another note, maybe you’re right. I guess I’m never going to meet anyone just by sitting in my apartment and eating Chinese takeout. UGH! I don’t know if I’m ready to go through all of this again, but I’ll try. Call you tomorrow!
From: Fly12271@easymailusa.com – August 19, 2011 – 3:01 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Thanks!
Hey Renee. Just wanted to drop you a quick email before we head out for the next stop on the tour. Listen, our tour ends in a couple months. I know you didn’t want to try this long distance thing. As much as I don’t want to pressure you into a relationship, I think you are something special and don’t want to miss out on anything that could be. So, think about it and I’ll call you tomorrow.
From: Renee Greene – August 19, 2011 – 3:08 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Fwd: Re: Thanks!
So this is the message I got from Jason. He seems so sincere and so sweet. But, can he be trusted? My instincts say yes, but we all know where my instincts have gotten me. So no it is. We will just be friends. Although I’ll look forward to his call tomorrow.
From: Shelley Manning – August 19, 2011 – 3:51 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Thanks!
Get that profile back on line, and toot sweet.
From: Renee Greene – August 19, 2011 – 4:07 PM
To: member.services@choosejews.com
Subject: My Profile
I was writing to request that you please place my profile back online. My ID# is 49628; Screen Name: PRGal1981.
From: member.services@choosejews.com – August 19, 2011 – 4:10 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: My Profile
Profile has been reinstated.
Chapter 7 – Back In The Saddle Again
From: meet@choosejews.com/GoBucs428 – August 24, 2011 – 9:56 AM
To: meet@choosejews.com/PRGal1981
Subject: Hi!
Hi PR Gal. You may remember me. My name’s Ethan and I emailed you a while back. You told me about your theory on treadmills and LA walkers. Anyway, I know you mentioned that you were seeing someone. But, your profile is online, so I thought that maybe you were still open to meeting people. Anyway, if you are, check out my profile and maybe we can talk. Thanks.
From: meet@choosejews.com/PRGal1981 – August 24, 2011 – 10:07 AM
To: meet@choosejews.com/GoBucs428
Subject: Re: Hi!
WHAT THE HELL! This guy thinks that just because it’s been a few months that I’m no longer seeing Matt. What, my profile and photo reek of “can’t keep a relationship going”?!? What an ASS!
From: Renee Greene – August 24, 2011 – 10:08 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Fwd: Re: Hi!
SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! I thought I had forwarded this to you, but I hit reply by accident and sent this message to him. SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! What do I do?
From: Shelley Manning – August 24, 2011 – 10:11 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Hi!
Wow! I’ve seen you royally screw up before, but this takes the cake. HA-LARIOUS! I’m usually one for giving advice, but I have no guidance on this one. I’d LOVE to see his response, if any.
From: meet@choosejews.com/GoBucs428 – August 24, 2011 – 10:15 AM
To: meet@choosejews.com/PRGal1981
Subject: Re: Hi!
Okay then. Guess I can tell what you honestly think of me. Won’t bother you anymore and good luck.
From: meet@choosejews.com/PRGal1981 – August 24, 2011 – 10:25 AM
To: meet@choosejews.com/GoBucs428
Subject: Re: Hi!
I am SO INCREDIBLY SORRY! That email was not meant for your eyes…obviously. My profile says nothing about being rude, and rightly so. I’ve just been going through some relationship stuff lately and was blowing off a little steam. Yikes! That makes me sound like a real ball buster, huh? That was meant for my best friend who usually gives great advice, keeps me grounded, and encourages me to meet new people. Again, my sincerest apologies. If you are still interested in meeting, why don’t we try to have a drink? I promise I will come straight from an anger management self-help group, so I’ll be nice and calm. (Just kidding).
From: meet@choosejews.com/GoBucs428 – August 24, 2011 – 11:17 AM
To: meet@choosejews.com/PRGal1981
Subject: Re: Hi!
Well, as long as you promise there will be no emotional or physical abuse, I’m game. Why don’t we say the Coffee Shack on Beverly Glen…do you know where that is…on Saturday at noon?
From: meet@choosejews.com/PRGal1981 – August 24, 2011 – 11:36 AM
To: meet@choosejews.com/GoBucs428
Subject: Re: Hi!
I love the Coffee Shack. I don’t drink coffee…never had a cup. I had a sip once and didn’t like it so I never tried it again. Chocolate on the other hand…tried it, loved it and can’t stop. ;) But Coffee Shack has these great vanilla blended drinks. It’s like a really cold, rich glass of milk. YUM! Anyway, I digress. I live right down the street from the Coffee Shack and Saturday at noon sounds great. I’ll be the one looking enormously apologetic.
From: meet@choosejews.com/GoBucs428 – August 24, 2011 – 11:42 AM
To: meet@choosejews.com/PRGal1981
Subject: Re: Hi!
Sounds great. I’m a fan of blendeds as well and I love regret in a woman. J/K. See you Saturday.
From: Renee Greene – August 24, 2011 – 12:15 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Fwd: Re: Hi!
Oh my. This guy seems pretty cool. He wrote back that he wouldn’t bother me anymore after seeing my response and I apologized and explained that I’m certifiable, it wasn’t meant for him, etc. Then we agreed to meet for a blended at the Coffee Shack. So I’m meeting him there on Saturday.
From: Shelley Manning – August 24, 2011 – 3:35 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Hi!
Wow! You really lead a charmed life. This will be a great story to tell your grandkids. Grandma completely insulted Grandpa in an email and called him an ass. But, he fell in love with her anyway. I love it!
From: Renee Greene – August 24, 2011 – 3:39 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Hi!
This is weird. You’re usually the one telling me not to jump ahead and wear my heart on my sleeve and you’ve got me married…with grandkids…to this guy. Has the world turned on its side? What’s going on?
From: Shelley Manning – Au
gust 24, 2011 – 4:45 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Hi!
You’re right. I’m becoming you and you’re becoming me. All I can say is you are one lucky gal. Gotta run. Having drinks with a guy who from hence forth shall be known as the Trampoline. He likes to bounce me up and down. Now that’s the kind of exercise I could get used to. Mwah! Mwah!
From: Renee Greene – August 27, 2011 – 2:27 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Cute or cut?
Well, Ethan is just about the cutest thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. He has beautiful blue eyes and is so sweet and smart. I could really see myself falling for him, which is why I’m tempted to never see him again. Please, talk me down from the ledge.
From: Shelley Manning – August 29, 2011 – 8:07 AM