North of Heartbreak

by Julie Rowe

  Well, this was news.

  “What does that have to do with having or not having a boyfriend?”

  “Um, nothing.”

  Willa stared at him then shook her head. “I’m not looking for a relationship or anything else for that matter. Just in case you were wondering.”

  “Message received.” Liam smiled. Again. “I’m a good guy. You’ll see.”

  “I’m sure you are,” she said, barely glancing at him.

  “I promised Jason I’d be good, and I keep my promises.”

  “You can start by not flirting with me. It’s unprofessional.”

  “I’m not flirting.”

  “Yes, you are and what’s worse, you don’t mean it.”

  Liam looked at her, both his brows riding high on his forehead, but Willa avoided his gaze, her cheeks burning.

  “What if you’re wrong?” he asked in a careful tone. “Maybe I do mean it.”

  “That’ll be the day. Guys like you don’t like women like me.”

  He stared at her with wide eyes. “Wow, that’s a heck of a generalization. What kind of guy am I?”

  His question surprised her into looking up, and for one long moment Willa considered throwing herself out of the plane.

  No. No backing down. She’d finished with that long ago.

  “Have you seen yourself in a mirror recently? You’re hot. I, on the other hand, am as ordinary as they come.”

  “And?”

  Liam’s challenging stare seemed designed to goad her into speaking too soon, but Willa took a second to compose a reasonable response anyway. “All I want to do is go home and get the hours of work waiting for me, done,” she finally said.

  “You’re very natural,” he said after a few moments.

  Willa burst out laughing. “Natural?” She laughed some more. “You’re hilarious.”

  “What’s so funny? The thought that you’re attractive, or that I might like you?”

  She shook her head.

  “I’m just trying to be nice.”

  “Maybe you shouldn’t try so hard.”

  An over-the-top look of horror flashed across his features. “You don’t mean…have a normal conversation do you? Where we discuss current events and, God forbid, the weather?”

  Willa had to stifle a laugh. At least he had a sense of humor. “Is that so difficult?”

  He grinned. “I’ve never tried it before.”

  “You’ve just never come across a woman who didn’t swoon at your outrageous flattery.” She had no wish to be the woman to educate him.

  “True. This will be a whole new experience for me.” He gave her a sidelong glance full of mirth. “Where do I start?”

  Willa shook her head and bit her lip. “Oh no, you’re a big boy, you figure it out.”

  He didn’t answer, but his hands shifted on the controls and he twisted in his seat. The smile disappeared from his face, replaced by a small frown.

  How could a man go through thirty odd years of life without learning how to have a real conversation?

  She rolled her eyes and turned toward him. “Start by thinking of me as a man.”

  The sexiest grin Willa had ever seen slid across Liam’s face and he looked at her chest. “There’s no way I could ever think of you as a man.”

  Sucker. She might as well wear a T-shirt announcing it.

  “Very funny. I give you advice and you turn it into a joke.” She turned away and stared resolutely out the window. What had she expected? He was probably used to getting whatever he wanted with a crook of his eyebrow.

  Well, not her. She knew better.

  After another minute of silence, Liam cleared his throat. “So, is our patient going to be okay?”

  Willa gave him a sharp glance. Now he wanted to talk business? A sigh eased its way out of her throat. Better late than never. Despite her misgivings she did have to work with the guy. “Joe was still in surgery when we left, but the news was he’d keep his leg.”

  “That’s good. There was a lot of blood to clean up back there,” Liam said, angling his head toward the backseat. “Had me worried.”

  “Me too. I wish I could have done more to stem the bleeding, but…” She sucked in a deep breath, determined to be fair. “I appreciate the way you followed my orders when it really counted.”

  He glanced at her. “You say that as if it hurts.”

  Willa pressed her lips together. She couldn’t even give him a genuine compliment without commentary.

  A moment of silence then he said in a quiet voice, “You’re welcome. You acted like a pro. I’ve never flown a medical flight, though I trained for it. It was easier and harder than I thought.”

  “It usually is. If we had taken much longer to get Joe to Fairbanks he could’ve died.”

  Liam speared her with an incredulous look. “Seriously?”

  “Yes. The length of time it takes to get the injured to treatment can literally be the difference between life and death. That’s why the air MedEvac system in Alaska is so important.”

  “But, the Otter isn’t the fastest plane in the air, not even close.”

  “It’s the only one that can land anytime, anywhere. There are lots of places without an airstrip. You might have to land on a river or lake in the summer and ice in the winter.”

  “Not many planes outside the Otter can do that,” he said. “But what about you? Wouldn’t it be better to have help? How come there aren’t more medical people working out of your clinic?”

  “I’d love some help, but life in the north isn’t for everyone. It’s not so bad in the summer, when the sun is up all day and night, but in the winter when it’s isolated, bitterly cold and dark all the time…” Willa shook her head. “A lot of people can’t hack it.”

  “When you put it that way, I’m surprised anyone lives up here.”

  “Oh, but there are reasons to stay.”

  “Like?”

  “Have you ever seen the northern lights?”

  He shook his head.

  “Once you’ve seen them you’ll never forget.” She closed her eyes. “Picture a dark night, so cold your breath hangs like a lost ghost in the air around your face. You look up and across the heavens dance undulating curtains of blue, green and white light moving to a melody you can almost hear.” She smiled. “We get a lot of tourists in winter to see it.”

  He grunted.

  “Summer time has its own beauty. Because the growing season is so short, it isn’t unusual to see snow melting on the tundra one week, and that same patch of ground covered in blooming flowers the next.”

  She caught the disbelieving look on his face. “You don’t believe me?”

  “It’s hard to imagine.”

  “I don’t think I could live anywhere else. The people here are…honest and genuine. And there’s a sense of community that goes beyond the norm. People really care about each other.” She studied him. “Why did you come here?”

  “Lots of reasons.” He lifted one broad shoulder. “I had some family issues. I piloted for Eagle International Airlines for years. The schedule, the stress…” His voice trailed off.

  “You don’t think what we did today was stressful?”

  “No, but it was a different kind of stress. For once my passengers really needed my skills, needed me.”

  “That I can understand,” Willa said with a nod. “It gives you a whole new perspective on life when what you’re doing makes a genuine difference.”

  “Yeah, that’s it exactly.”

  They exchanged grins.

  “You should smile more often,” he said, his expression turning appreciative. “You’re beautiful.”

  You’re beautiful. The phrase reverberated through her mind like a tank ro
lling through enemy territory, setting off land mines. It put her back there, in the house that should have been a haven, but ended up a hell. The closed space of the cockpit felt like the hall at the entry to her basement. Her husband yelling at her, raving because another man had complimented him on his beautiful wife.

  You’re beautiful. The last man who said those words to her had punched her repeatedly to make her unbeautiful. Then tried to kill her.

  Terror, raw and razor-sharp, sliced into her throat, cutting off her air supply. She could see him in front of her. Feel his fist wrapped around her neck.

  “Willa?” Liam stared at her, the expression on his face dissolving into alarm. He reached out and touched her shoulder.

  She sucked in a desperate breath and jerked out from under his hand. The word “No” made it past her lips as a dry croak.

  “Willa, are you okay?”

  She didn’t answer; she couldn’t. She was trapped in the old nightmare.

  Chapter Three

  “Willa?” Liam’s voice rose with concern.

  The monster she’d been married to had sometimes used that tone to fool her into relaxing, usually right before he did something to punish her.

  She edged herself into the corner between the seat and the door.

  “Med-One, this is Tundra Air, come in.” Jason’s battered voice on the radio penetrated the vicious memory, dragging her back to the present.

  The snap and crackle of the radio echoed through the cockpit. “Med-One, come in.”

  “You’d better answer that,” she said to Liam, her voice dry and barely loud enough to be heard.

  “Who’s Med-One?”

  “Me.”

  He stared at her, his gaze unmoving as he flipped the switch on the radio. “Roger, Tundra Air, this is Med-One. Go ahead.”

  “Divert to Fort Mackenzie to pick up an urgent shipment for the weather station.”

  A full two seconds passed before he responded. “Understood. Med-One out.”

  Liam continued to stare. “What just happened?”

  Stomach clenching, she turned away. How could she explain? What excuse could she give that he would understand?

  She reached down to pick up her tea, to give herself some time to collect her shattered nerves. Her hand shook so hard the hot liquid sloshed over the side of the paper cup, dripping onto her pants.

  He leaned over and wrapped his hand around her wrist, supporting it, holding it steady. “Are you okay? Should we turn around and go back to the hospital?”

  She stared at his hand, his fingers curled around her wrist. The monster from her nightmare had blood on his knuckles. Liam had none.

  “Willa?” he asked again, his thumb stroking her skin in a way that soothed rather than threatened.

  Before she could respond the plane rocked violently back and forth, spilling the rest of the tea onto her from neck to knees.

  “Hang on,” he ordered, letting her go to handle the plane. “We’ve hit some turbulence.”

  Willa dropped the empty cup and hung on to the side of her seat as the plane flew through the choppy air like a sled careening down a washboard. One last drop and the roller-coaster ride ended as fast as it started.

  “Are you hurt?” Liam asked, throwing fast glances at her in between checking the gauges.

  “I’m fine. No need to turn around.”

  He winced. “Sorry about your tea.”

  She managed to meet his gaze, but only for a moment. “I’m fine.”

  “You’re fine,” he repeated in a tone that screamed his disbelief. “Bullshit.”

  Willa closed her eyes. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

  “Why would my calling you beautiful upset you so much?”

  “Please, don’t—” She shook her head, her chest stuttering as she tried to keep tears inside.

  “Hey, hey,” he said. “It was just a compliment.”

  “Compliments are nothing but empty words designed to fool a woman into letting her guard down.”

  “Guard down?” He pinned her in place with a frown. “You make it sound like it’s inevitable someone gets hurt.”

  “I…someone always does.” As soon as the words were out, Willa wished she could pull them back, wished she could forget. She had enough regrets as it was.

  “Figuratively or literally?”

  She’d said far too much already.

  The memory of pain stabbed fresh in her mind and she rubbed her belly, searching for a spark of life that wasn’t there. How could she ever forget the ache, the loss and the betrayal of trust?

  “Willa?”

  She clenched her fists together in her lap. “It was a long time ago.” She turned a frosty glare on him. “I learned my lesson.”

  Liam’s face hardened, his jaw clenching. “What did he do to you?”

  She stared out the windshield, her mouth closed against the anguish she refused to acknowledge.

  “Did he run out on you?”

  She wouldn’t look at Liam, wouldn’t answer, wouldn’t cry.

  “Did he hit you?”

  A single sob escaped at his guess and Willa slapped a hand over her mouth. Was it so obvious? Did she wear a neon sign strapped to her forehead blinking Victim, Victim every five seconds?

  Liam swore. He stopped, sucked in a breath and swore some more.

  He fell silent for a few moments then growled, “Not all men…do that.”

  “Do what?” she said in a voice that sounded water-logged even to her own ears. Did she really want to tell this stranger, this man, what had happened to her?

  A quick glance at his face confirmed the worst. He was looking at her with the kind of compassion one reserves for lost dogs and charity cases. She might be stuck in a plane with him, but she didn’t have to put up with pity.

  Willa shook her head in an effort to shake loose the old emotions, fear, anger and guilt, swamping her. Liam wasn’t her ex-husband, and she shouldn’t take it out on him. She breathed in a cleansing breath and began again. “I’m sorry. Please, just forget I said anything.”

  He cleared his throat. “Don’t apologize. I should’ve taken the hint and shut up.”

  “But you have nothing to do with my past. Even though I don’t know you, I do trust Jason. He’d never send me someone…unsafe.”

  Unfortunately, she didn’t know how to trust any man anymore. Jason was an exception because of his age and role in her life—the father figure she’d needed since her own passed away twelve years ago.

  Maybe if she’d had her father she wouldn’t have married a monster. Now she had to figure out how to create a working relationship with a man who’d just witnessed how deep her pain ran. Still, he wasn’t sneering at her or offering empty platitudes.

  “Safe,” Liam grunted. “There’s a word I wouldn’t have used to define myself. I mean, I am. Totally safe. For you, but…”

  Was he flustered? “How about skilled or useful?”

  “What, like a trained dog?” He laughed, but it had an edge. “Sorry. Forget I said that. It’s just a relief for me to see I’m not the only who’s going through some shi—uh…stuff.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yeah. I’ve got bad family stuff that I don’t quite know how to handle.” He glanced at her with that twisted grin again. “I guess I’ve got to figure myself out first.”

  “Do any of us ever stop trying to figure ourselves out?”

  He shrugged. “I was sort of hoping to coast one of these days soon.”

  She cleared her throat. “Speaking of coasting,” she said, “why don’t we talk about something else, like work? I know this was your first MedEvac. Will you be doing more?”

  He squirmed in his seat. “Yeah, I’ll be flying more of them. What�
��s the schedule like? You fly three times a week, right?”

  It took her a moment to respond, to realize he was doing as she asked. She nodded slowly. “Yes, but Jason usually handles that.”

  “I’ve been assigned as your regular pilot now.” Liam’s smile seemed carefully crafted to appear nonthreatening. That nearly made her laugh. It wasn’t his smile she was scared of but her reaction to it. “Jason nearly kissed me when I signed on to fly for him. He’s been shorthanded for a while now.”

  “I didn’t realize… I’m in Stony Creek Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and Summerset Inlet Tuesdays and Thursdays,” she said, all business. “On Wednesday I’m also in Fort Resolve for the afternoon.”

  “That’s a hectic schedule.”

  “Not really. The clinics are well organized.”

  “What happens when there’s an emergency, like today?”

  “Either the appointments are rescheduled for my next visit or the weekend.”

  “It’s not normal to fly a MedEvac with just one medical person on board is it?”

  “A minimum of two is recommended, but I haven’t got enough people. I need two more nurses.” She shook her head. “We’ve had no luck finding anyone.”

  “We?”

  “The town has had ads in several large newspapers.”

  He shook his head. “Damn inconvenient. You can’t work shorthanded forever.” He glanced out his left side window. “I’m starting my approach into Fort Mackenzie.”

  Willa looked at her watch, her lips tight. She had a ton of work to do before bed.

  “I’ll have you home as soon as I can.”

  She nodded, but didn’t say anything. Instead she grabbed a binder that she’d jammed in between the seats and opened it. At least she’d have some of her paperwork done.

  Liam landed, loaded the supplies and got back into the air in less than thirty minutes. Once in the air again he checked in with Jason, and left her alone.

  Willa kept her nose in her notes until they were almost at Stony Creek. “How long until we land?” she asked, not caring that she sounded tired.

  “About five minutes.”

  Liam put the plane on the ground, taxied to the clinic door, hopped out, put wheel stops on either side of the plane’s tires then secured the propellers.