“No. Yes. Maybe. I just talked to Vince.”
“And, how did it go? Did he explain everything?”
“As much as I let him. Why did he do it, Amanda? I mean, I sort of get why but you would think that he would know me better than that. That he would understand letting me go and making me think he didn’t want me would destroy me. I had major trust issues to begin with and he just added to them.”
“I tried to talk him out of it. So did Tommy.”
“Wait…what? What do you mean you tried to talk him out of it? Out of what? Coming to Michigan?”
“Oh shit. Crap. Crap, crap, crap. Me and my big mouth. Don’t get mad, okay?”
“Don’t give me a reason to get mad.”
“Well, Vince kind of told us what he was going to do before you left for college. Just hear me out because I know I’m going to get an ear full when I’m finished. I told him it was a bad idea but he was so determined. He wanted a better life for you. We all did. He didn’t want to hold you back. You have to understand it from his perspective. He didn’t want to be the biggest regret of your life. He has always loved you, Maggie. He never stopped. He loved you so much, he let you go.”
I’m stunned into silence. I don’t even know what to say to her right now. She is supposed to be my best friend. My support system. The person I can count on to be on my side no matter what.
“I have to go.”
“Maggie, please don’t hang up. At least yell at me so I know we’re okay.”
“Not now. I need to…to…to think.” I hang up without waiting for her response. Betrayal feels an awful lot like abandonment. How could she know what was going through his mind and let him do it. She could have warned me so I could have fought harder. Convinced him that he was worth it to me. I would have done anything for him. But now, now all I feel is pain.
I try so hard to think things through logically. To consider all the facts in play when Vince made his decision. But I keep coming back to the same conclusion. He did the wrong thing. He wrecked us. He broke my trust and I don’t know if that will ever come back. How am I supposed to move forward with him when all I can think about is our past?
Chapter Nineteen
Dreams are a funny thing. Just when you think you can’t take it anymore, they disappear. I haven’t had a single nightmare about the accident since…hmmm…no. That can’t be right. Since Vincent came back into my life over a month ago. I guess I should be grateful but I’m not. He’s like that annoying fly buzzing in your ear. Always around but never getting close enough to hit with the fly swatter. He is everywhere. Anytime I leave the apartment, he mysteriously appears. He even went so far as to move his seat in our business class. He doesn’t sit next to Asher anymore, instead he sits right beside me. He doesn’t even seem bothered by my open affection toward my fake boyfriend. I’ve done everything short of making out with him in the middle of class. But Vince doesn’t seem to notice. He just keeps plugging away, trying to wear down my resolve.
I might have to step up my game. It’s becoming rather annoying to have him breathing down my neck all the time. The sad truth is, I like it. I missed him. Now I get to see him almost every day. As much as I don’t want to lose that, we can’t keep pretending everything is fine. Acting as if we are casual acquaintances. Something has got to give. I just don’t know what yet.
We just finished our first major exams. Derek is out of town so of course Heather wants to go out this Friday night. I tried to get out of it but she wouldn’t hear of it. She’s practically forcing me to get out of the house and have fun. I guess she is tired of my sulking. I can’t seem to make up my mind about Vince and she hasn’t been any help. Telling me to follow my heart. When did she become so sappy? I need a realist on my side. I’m brought back to the present when I hear Asher inviting Vincent out with us. What is he thinking?
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, honey.” Yes, we have resorted to pet names. All a part of my ploy to convince my ex-boyfriend that my current boyfriend is really my boyfriend. It gets confusing.
“Why not? Heather will be there. Plus I invited a couple of guys from the skate park. The more the merrier, right.”
“Well it sounds like fun to me. What time should I meet you guys?”
“We can just meet you at the bar around 9 Friday night. I can text you the address.” Asher pulls his phone out of his jacket pocket typing in a rush before class starts.
I roll my eyes deciding its best not to argue. Let him come. What do I care anyway. Later that night, I make up my mind to forgive my best friend. I’ve been dodging her calls for the past two weeks. I think I’ve tortured her enough.
“Oh my gosh! Are you actually speaking to me now?”
“Maybe. It depends on what you say next.”
“I’m sorry, Maggie. I never meant to hurt you and you’re right. I should have told you what was going on. That would have been the fair thing to do.”
“I forgive you. Now will you please stop blowing up my phone with text messages and voicemails?”
“Absolutely. So…where do things stand with Vince?”
“Nowhere. I don’t know. He always seems to be around. I don’t want to talk about him. How are things back home?”
“Good. Classes are going well. Tommy and I have never been better. I also heard this interesting rumor that someone has a boyfriend. You want to tell me what that’s all about?”
“Not really.”
“Spill woman.”
“Fine. It’s complicated. Of course I’m not really with Asher. He was at my apartment when Vincent showed up so I went with it.”
“I see. And what are you hoping to accomplish by deceiving him? Because it’s driving him insane.”
“Really?” Why oh why does that make me happy.
“Totally. He calls Tommy every time he sees the two of you together. I kind of feel bad for Vince. I didn’t think you had it in you to be so cruel.”
“It’s not cruel, Amanda. How could he think that I wouldn’t have moved on after all this time?”
“Because you haven’t.”
“But he doesn’t know that.”
“I can’t believe Asher is going along with this. He has it bad for you. I hope you don’t break his heart.”
“Thanks. Now I feel like the scum of the earth. I know it isn’t fair to him but he also knows what he got himself into. He is an adult capable of making his own choices.”
“True. But wave the possibility of getting laid in front of any guy and they will do just about anything.” Now that makes me laugh. I love her ability to turn any situation into a joke.
“I love you. I gotta go do some homework.”
“Maggie?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m glad you’re not mad at me anymore. I missed you.”
“I missed you too.”
Thursday and Friday end up being super stressful. Two of my classes assigned huge papers due at exactly the same time. A night out is just what I need. I have never been so happy to see the weekend. I let Heather do my hair and make-up because it makes her happy. I don’t have any other choice but to wear jeans and a thick sweater. It’s the beginning of February in Michigan so it’s too cold to wear something sexy. Heather dresses up the skin tight jeans with a pair of knee high black leather boots. She also makes me wear her favorite dark green sweater saying it complements my eyes. What she really means is that it compliments my curves accentuating my boobs. But I don’t complain because I want to look hot tonight. I can’t help the fact that I get some amount of pleasure out of torturing Vince.
Just as I start to wrap my light grey scarf around my neck, I hear a knock at the door. It throws me off a little because we all agreed to meet at the bar. But knowing Asher like I do, it’s probably him. He hates it when Heather and I walk alone at night. Even if it’s just right around the corner.
“The guys are here.” Heather yells from the front of the apartment. I grab my heavy coat on my way out, heading t
oward the front door. I hear a couple of voices laughing and joking around. When I reach the end of the hall, I see Vincent standing next to Asher.
“What the hell?” The only person that seems to hear me is Vincent. He looks me up and down before walking over to me. Oh no. What is he going to do? So far I’ve managed to keep a good amount of distance between us. I’m so afraid that if he gets too close, I’ll cave. He stops inches from my body, speaking so low only I can hear him.
“You look absolutely beautiful, Magnolia. You take my breath away.” And then something awful happens. I close my eyes and inhale. God, I’ve missed that smell. The essence that is Vincent Moreno. When I open my eyes, I see the glimmer of hope in his. Great. Just great.
“Excuse me.” That’s all I can utter because if I keep standing here, I’m afraid of what I might do.
“Hey sweetie.” Asher gives me a gentle hug hello, keeping his arm wrapped loosely around my waist.
“Everyone ready? Let’s get this party started!” Heather shouts before ushering us out the front door. I pull Asher back so we are lagging several feet behind Heather and Vince.
“Why did you let him come to my apartment with you? You know how much I’m trying to avoid him. It’s bad enough he’s coming along tonight.”
“Maggie, he’s new here. Just like I was last semester. I can’t help it if I feel bad for the guy. He doesn’t know anyone except you and let’s face it, you haven’t exactly rolled out the red carpet for him. I get why you are avoiding him but that doesn’t mean I can’t be nice to the guy.”
This is why I like Asher. He is a genuinely nice guy. There is no other motive here. I don’t have any defense so I just walk quietly the rest of the way to the bar. I have never been so happy to enter a heated building before in my life. The walk home is going to be torturous as the temperature is sure to drop even more.
“Will you please have a drink with me tonight?” Heather puts her two hands together, pleading with her best friend.
“Fine. One drink. I need it after the week I’ve had.”
“Woo hoo! Bartender, two shots of tequila.”
“Really? You couldn’t get just a rum and coke or something. You had to go for the hard stuff?”
“If you’re only having one, then I better make it count.”
“Whatever. So what do you think is really going on with those two?” I point to the narrow end of the bar where the pool table sits along with my two guys, chatting it up.
“I have no clue. They seem like best buds. It’s kind of weird.”
“Thank you. I knew I wasn’t the only one. Asher says he feels bad for Vince because he doesn’t know anyone. I bet if he was my real boyfriend he wouldn’t be so chummy.” I take my shot from the bar, lift it to my lips and tip my head back until all the liquid coats my throat. After I swallow, my mouth puckers from the taste. Since this is just a small time bar, there is no salt or limes to chase away the sourness. When I look across the room again, Vincent is giving me his sexy as hell smile. Crap.
“Bartender, another round.”
“Really? Are you sure Maggie? I don’t want you getting wasted, I just wanted you to have one drink with me.”
“It’s fine. I need it. This is going to be a long night.”
We all decide to shoot some pool, playing in teams. We start off playing girls against guys but its clear Vince and I are the only two who really know how to play. So after a close game, Vince asks to play me one on one. The timing worked out perfectly in his favor, because just as we ended our game with Asher and Heather, all the guys from the skate park showed up.
“Watch out, she’s a shark Vince. She will wipe the table with you.” Asher says jokingly as he fist pumps a couple of guys.
“I highly doubt that. Who do you think taught her how to play?” Vince gives me a playful wink while gently shoving my shoulder. That tiny fraction of contact with him has me reeling. My heart rate starts beating just a little faster and my body is now hyper aware of his every movement. Damn him.
“Can we start or do you want to stand around talking like a school girl all night?” I give him an annoyed look, clearly expressing my impatience while trying to hide my reaction to his proximity.
We play two games and end up being tied. I did two more shots with Heather in between rounds, not intending to drink this much but feeling like I need the alcohol to deal with Vince. He wants one more game to determine the winner. I reluctantly agree. All night he has done everything he can to get close to me. I have to stay on high alert because if I allow him to touch me, I know it will be all over.
“You do know my boyfriend is standing right over there.” I point my finger in Asher’s direction as Vince brushes past me for the millionth time tonight.
“I’ve been thinking about that. A lot. I don’t think he’s really your boyfriend.” Panic starts to build just under the surface as I try to think fast.
“What are you talking about? Are you delusional?”
“I think he wants to be but for whatever reason you haven’t let him in. Not really. I know you. Better than you think. I’ve watched the two of you together. I’ve never even seen you kiss each other. Throw in the fact that he is being so nice to me and what you really have is a great friendship.”
I didn’t notice because I was too caught up in what he was saying, but he moved right next to me. The more he said, the closer he got until I could feel his warm breath on my neck. I seriously lose my train of thought for the next thirty seconds.
“Magnolia. Don’t fight this. I know you miss me. Please, forgive me.”
I snap out of his trance when I hear Asher’s laugh in the background. He wants to play dirty, fine. I’ll show him dirty. I have just the right amount of tequila in my system to be brave enough to do what I’m about to do. I throw the pool stick down on the table, glaring at Vincent before turning and walking right up to Asher. He’s sitting on a bar stool next to a tiny round table giving me perfect access. I slide right between his legs, look into his eyes, and kiss him.
I can sense the shock, the hesitation even, so I dig deeper. I push myself into his body, wrapping my arms around his neck and tugging on his hair. That’s all it takes before I feel his hands grip my waist as his tongue takes over. He pulls me even closer until there isn’t even an inch between us. I really wish he wasn’t such a great kisser because he’s making it hard to focus on anything other than him. I feel his hands slowly moving down to my ass, causing me to completely forget where we are until I hear Heather’s voice.
“I think you made your point.” I pull away from Asher, turning my head to find Vince. He is standing right where I left him with a look of pure hatred on his face. I have never seen him look so furious. When I turn back to Asher, he has the same look. Oh crap. He grabs my hand, pulling me to the entrance before I even have time to get my coat.
“We need to talk. Now.”
Thank goodness for Heather. She runs after us with my coat in her hand. Asher doesn’t bother waiting as he storms out of the bar. I take a chance, glancing back to the pool table. Vince hasn’t moved a single muscle. His eyes pierce through my soul, crushing the smug smile I had wanted to give him.
“I sure do hope you know what you’re doing because that did not look good. I think you managed to piss both of them off in one move.”
“I know. It was stupid. But he just…I mean he was…did you see what he was doing to me?”
“Honestly, I didn’t see anything that didn’t look like two friends hanging out. I wish I knew what you were talking about.”
“I’ll explain later. I have to go fix things with Asher.”
“Good luck.”
I have to practically run to catch up to him. Which isn’t easy considering I have on high heeled boots trying to trench through five inches of snow. I finally get to his side but he doesn’t even acknowledge me. I decide it’s best to wait until we get inside to start apologizing. But as soon as we reach my place, he turns around to walk away.
“Asher, don’t. Please come inside and talk to me.” He hesitates briefly before turning back around.
“Fine.”
I push the door open, letting him walk in before closing out the frigid winter air. But it doesn’t help much because my whole body feels like ice and not because of the temperature. Asher is looking at me with so much anger and hurt that I regret everything I put him through.
“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that and I shouldn’t have asked you to be my fake boyfriend. It’s isn’t fair to you. I shouldn’t have asked you to pretend when I know you want more.”
“I can’t believe you did that. You kissed me to make him mad. And I fell for it. I actually thought you wanted me. It’s my own fault for being so foolish.”
“Can you ever forgive me? Please Asher. That isn’t the person I want to be. He just pushes my buttons. I couldn’t take it anymore so I reacted.”
“ENOUGH! I don’t want to hear about what he does to you or how he affects you. You had no right to kiss me. I would never cross that line with you again.”
“Liar. You did in Ohio over New Year’s.”
“That was hardly anything to write home about. It was just a peck for luck.”
“I’m not talking about the New Year’s Eve kiss, I’m talking about the night before. You kissed me.” I see it in his eyes before I hear out of his mouth. Recognition. He stomps across the room until he is right in my face. Then he leans down and whispers in my ear.
“And you kissed me back.”
“What? What are you talking about? You said you didn’t remember what happened that night? You lied to me?” Now I’m the one yelling.
“Don’t act so surprised, Maggie. I knew you weren’t ready to move on so I let it go. The relief I saw the next morning when I told you I didn’t remember was evidence enough that you didn’t want to take things any further. But then you kissed me tonight the way I’ve wanted you to for so long. I was so caught off guard that I let down my wall because it seemed real. It felt real. Then to find out you were just doing it to make him jealous. I deserve better than that. And so do you.”
Sublime Resistance Page 15