Not Through Loving You

by Patricia Preston

  “Dad, I’m leaving.”

  “Leaving?”

  “I’m going back to Lafayette Falls,” she said. “For good.”

  “For good? What does that mean?”

  “That means I’ll be living there. Making a new life there.”

  “You have a life here.”

  “No. It’s not the life I want.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “I love music, and I’ll continue to write songs. It’s just a short drive over here. I can come work in the studio, but the tours, the shows, the promo, the hotels,” she shook her head, “I’m done with that.”

  Julian finished his coffee. “I’m assuming it’s the doctor, right?”

  “Yeah. Him and the baby.”

  “Lia, that’s like a ready-made family.”

  “They’re my family.” Or so she hoped. “I hope someday they’ll be your family.”

  Julian didn’t commit to that. “You’re a woman, and it’s your decision. But I would advise you that if the relationship goes south, get out. Don’t let things drag on,” he said. “Tell the kid, Stevie, I hope he’s enjoying the Jag.”

  “He is. He’s sent me a video of him singing ‘I Will Always Love You’ to the car.” Lia laughed. She would be eternally grateful to Stevie for his help in shutting down the article Wilkes had intended to publish about her infidelity.

  After all the online coverage of Dallas and her visiting their fan Stevie at the behest of his brother, Wilkes had pulled the article. Nothing had appeared in his tabloid. Of course, after she and Dallas announced their split, he had published some garbage, including comments from “sources close to the couple.” But thankfully, there was no mention of Aaron or Stevie.

  She looked up and grinned at her father. “You know, Dad, you should marry Sheila.”

  Julian reached for his coffee cup. “When did you say you were leaving for Lafayette Falls?”

  The rain came and went all morning, even when Lia was at a car dealership looking for something practical. She drove away in a sturdy crossover vehicle with plenty of interior room for baby stuff.

  At the sprawling home she had shared with Dallas, she waved at a couple of photographers perched at the end of the drive and zoomed by them. She hoped by next week there’d be a new story for them to follow.

  Inside the house, she began the task of packing up her things. Dallas had taken off for Colorado. She had planned to head for the solitude of the Colorado ranch after the announcement of their split went public, but that had changed when she decided, to hell with it, she had already been away from the man she loved too long.

  She stopped her packing when her phone vibrated. She wasn’t surprised to see a picture of John Aaron on his play mat looking wide-eyed at the colorful blocks and animals dangling above him. He wore one of the sleepers she had bought him. Soft blue with a white collar. She couldn’t wait to see him.

  Aaron had sent her pictures of the baby every day, beginning on the day he left the hospital. She had a picture of John Aaron strapped in his infant seat for his ride home. Plus pictures of him in the crib, getting a bath, taking a nap, playing, and lying in the arms of the polar bear.

  True to his word, Aaron had given her space. He hadn’t called her or sent any persistent messages. He was a changed man. Almost. Besides photographs of the baby, he had occasionally sent other pictures. Not of himself, but things that would play on her memory.

  He had sent a snapshot of the basketball goal and one of Frank’s garden. He took a close-up of the rose quartz, which he had kept. He surprised her with a photograph of two new pictures he had hung in the foyer. They were prints of Frederic Remington’s Western paintings. Without words, he was working cleverly to sway her.

  The man did not give up, and she loved that about him.

  Her last stop before she left Nashville was Gilda’s house. She needed the morale boost, reassurance, and maybe a little magic. She draped the archangel scarf over her head as she rushed up the walkway in the rainy mist. Gilda waited with the door open.

  On the porch, decorated with wind chimes and sun catchers, she shook off the raindrops before she went inside. She was greeted by the scent of roses wafting from a freshly cut bouquet on the coffee table and the sound of the Eagles singing “Take It Easy.”

  Lia noticed an odd hand-sewn doll that looked like a stick man made of dark burlap. A folded piece of paper was stuck beneath a rope tied around the doll’s waist. “Gilda, is that a voodoo doll?”

  Gilda sighed. “Do you see any pins in it?” She picked up the strange doll. “It is voodoo, but it’s a messenger doll. It’s the way you get a secret message to someone in the spirit world. You write your message and attach it to the doll. Then you leave the doll at a crossroads or a cemetery. Both are portals to the world beyond this one.”

  “That’s a little strange, even for you.”

  “Strange is only a matter of perception.” Gilda moved to the sofa. “I saw the new vehicle, so I’m assuming today is the day.”

  “Yes. Finally.” She had waited until she had everything squared away in her life. She was returning to Aaron with no baggage. Nothing would take her from him again.

  Lia sat in the armchair. “I wasn’t really nervous until a little while ago. Now, I’m kinda like—” She waved her hands frantically in the air.

  “It’s a big step, but I think it’s one in the right direction.”

  “We’ve both given each other space, time to think about what we really want.” She cut her eyes toward Gilda. “He doesn’t know I’m coming. I started to call him, but I wanted to talk to him in person. So, after my surprise visit, I don’t know. I may be coming back.”

  “If you go, you won’t be coming back. He won’t let you leave.”

  With her hands clasped together, Lia pressed them against her lips. “If I go and he wants me to stay, I’m not ever leaving him again.”

  “We could do a binding spell,” Gilda suggested.

  Lia laughed. “Knowing my luck, it would backfire, and I’d end up with Stevie.”

  “We definitely don’t want that to happen.”

  “I need to go.” She followed Gilda to the front door.

  Outside on the breezy porch, they hugged. “Good luck, and call me if you need me.”

  “I will. I’ll let you know what happens.”

  “At least the rain has let up.” Gilda tapped one of the chimes, and musical notes floated in the air as Lia headed toward her vehicle.

  She came to a sudden stop on the walkway. “Gilda, come here!” Her face lit up as she motioned for Gilda to join her. “Look at this. You were right!”

  With a look of curiosity, Gilda hurried down the porch steps. Standing beside Lia, she shaded her eyes with her hand as she looked up at a wide rainbow south of the city. Fluid prisms of blue, red, yellow, and green arched across a sky where gray clouds splintered and drifted apart.

  Gilda gave Lia’s shoulders a hug. “It’s a sign. Definitely. Follow the rainbow.”

  Chapter 19

  Aaron watched as Miss Pauline laid John Aaron on the home baby scale. “Five pounds and twelve ounces. He’s gaining weight fast, Dr. Kendall. And he’s grown almost an inch.”

  “Hey, buddy.” Aaron put his pinkie finger against John’s hand. The baby gripped it. “You’re amazing.”

  As far as Aaron was concerned, his adopted son was the most remarkable baby ever. For all the hardships John Aaron had faced, none of them had bested him. He became stronger every day, and for over a week, he’d had no apnea episodes. Energetic when he was awake, he seemed to notice everything, and he would get the most serious expression on his face when Aaron read to him. Aaron loved to watch him.

  Miss Pauline fetched a clean romper from the armoire. “You know, I had no idea they made cowboy boots for babies.”

  “What?” Aaron lifted John off the scale and laid him on the crib mattress. “Cowboy boots?”

  “Yes sir. See.” The nanny retrieved the cowboy
booties from the drawer in the armoire. She handed them to Aaron and moved to the crib to dress the baby. “They look like real boots.”

  Aaron ran his thumb over the tiny, soft leather boots, complete with a harness ring on the side. Lia. For a moment, a generous ache enveloped his heart. “His aunt bought them for him. They’re too big now, but someday they’ll fit.” He hoped Lia would be home by then.

  As Miss Pauline prepared to put the baby down for his afternoon nap, Aaron returned the booties to the armoire and walked across the hall to his bedroom. The pink rock was waiting on the bedside table for her return. Just like me. There were times when impatience gnawed at him. He wanted to pick up the phone, call her, and tell her to come home now. But he didn’t.

  He was giving her space just like he had promised. But he hadn’t promised not to stalk her online. That’s how he kept up with what was going on in her life.

  He had read the cordial statement that had been posted on both Lia and Dallas’s websites about their breakup as well as some of the reactions from fans and people in the music industry. Some were supportive, while others who were either Team Dallas or Team Lia left vicious remarks. Now Aaron realized what the term “haters” meant and why Lia had tried to keep everything discreet.

  He had watched her on a talk show, getting hammered about her breakup with Dallas. She had fielded the questions with grace and admitted only that she and Dallas had grown apart as a couple and they no longer had a future together. He had felt like such a jerk.

  After he retrieved a pair of earbuds from a box on his dresser, he headed into the kitchen where Frank had his glasses perched on the end of his nose as he looked at a casserole recipe in a cookbook. Mushrooms, English peas, grated cheese, and green pepper were assembled on the kitchen island.

  “You need to have a talk with your brother,” Frank said.

  Aaron frowned. “He’s not gonna listen to me.”

  “You’re the one paying the bills around here. Garlic.” Frank studied. “I don’t think we have any. I’ll just skip that.” He looked at Aaron. “Stevie’s washing that car again. He won’t let a speck of dust get on it. Every time he goes for a drive and comes back, he washes it. Do you have any idea how high the water bill is gonna be?”

  “Shit.” Aaron went out the kitchen door. Puddles of rainwater lingered, reflecting glimmers of sunlight, and several hummingbirds fluttered around Frank’s feeders. Aaron ducked past them.

  With the water hose in his hand, Stevie rinsed the soap off the red Jaguar, a car that he loved beyond reason. He had even slept in it the first night he got it.

  “Hey,” Aaron called to him. Stevie released the handle of the hose nozzle. “How many times have you washed that car today?”

  “This is the only the second time. I got some mud on her.”

  “From now on, once a day,” Aaron told him.

  Stevie started spraying water on the Jag again. “I can tell you don’t understand love or you’d be working to get your girl back, bro.”

  Aaron ignored Stevie and headed toward the backyard. Who says I’m not working to get my girl back. He put the earbuds in and tapped the music file on his phone. He had downloaded one of Dallas’s first albums. Lia had written the songs, and in some of them, she backed Dallas up on the chorus.

  I’m a changed man, Aaron thought. He was listening to his rival sing. He was overcoming his past, getting beyond his fears of abandonment, and he was mastering his relentless nature, becoming a new man. All so he could get his girl back.

  On the deck, he listened to Dallas sing in his stirring voice about a moment of magic when love became complete. Aaron looked at the tree house. She had loved those fairies painted on the wall. He took off for the tree house, or the fairy house as she had called it.

  He climbed the short ladder and stooped as he entered the fairy house. Sitting on the floor, Aaron smiled at the mural. With shimmering slender bodies and colorful wings, the fairies fluttered above a garden of pink and purple forget-me-nots. A couple of the fairies looked directly at him. He grinned as he recalled Lia saying the fairies were watching on that rainy day when the two of them had made the floorboards creak beneath their naked bodies.

  Aaron tapped his phone against his knee. He needed to send her a picture of the fairies. He had sent her several pictures, not just of the baby, but other things. The pink rock. The basketball goal. Things with memories. And one of the Remington prints he’d bought because she had always thought he didn’t like the painting of the wild mustangs. He could change.

  Sending pictures was not violating his promise to back off and give her space. He didn’t send any message with the photos like “I’m not going to let you forget me,” or “This is to remind you that we had something special, and I hope you’ll forgive me.” All he was doing was letting her know he was thinking of her. Nothing persistent about that.

  He removed the earbuds and stuck them in his pocket. Then he aimed his phone at the fairy mural and took the photograph. He checked the photograph. In the center was a dark-haired fairy with a mischievous smile. She was his favorite. He sent the photograph to Lia.

  Within a couple of moments, his phone lit up. He glanced at it, and for a second, he almost had a cardiac arrest. Lia had replied. It was the first message he’d received from her since she had left.

  I have something to tell you.

  His gut knotted. He reminded himself that he was a changed man and then proceeded to type the hardest word ever.

  What?

  “I’m not through loving you,” she sang. Her enchanting soprano voice surrounded him and the fairies. Thunderstruck, he stared at his phone.

  “All I want to do is make love last. I need to feel you deep inside my soul.” The song breezed through the fairy house. “Feel your heart beat with mine.”

  “Lia?” He scrambled to the front of the tree house. His jaw dropped as he saw her standing below. Soft, faded jeans hugged her hips, and a ruffled cotton top, cut low, exposed her Cole Younger locket. Her booted foot tapped the grass as she kept singing.

  “Tell me we can forget the past. Tell me we can make love last.” One note followed another as he practically broke his neck getting down the ladder. “Tell me you’re not through loving me because I’m not through loving you—”

  He swept her up in his arms. Her dark hair tumbled over his arm as he locked it around her neck. “Lia.” He covered her mouth with his.

  There was no hesitation in her response. She clutched his back tightly, and he abandoned himself to the longing of her kiss. He crushed her soft body against him as they kissed beneath the fairy house. At that moment, he believed in magic and pink rocks and love.

  She was the one who had to break the embrace. “Aaron.” She rested her hand on his chest.

  He expelled a pent-up breath. “You came back.” He stroked her hair and her arms as if to make sure she was real.

  “I’ve missed you.” She took his hands in hers. “I wanted to come back sooner, but I couldn’t. I wasn’t coming back until I knew I wouldn’t have to leave you again.” She squeezed his hands. “I love you too much to ever hurt you again.”

  “Lia, no.” He kissed her as love overflowed in his heart. “God, I don’t deserve you.”

  “You’re stuck with me now, Cole.”

  “There’s no one else I want to be stuck with, Loretta.”

  He gave her a kiss, and she hugged him, wrapping her arms tight around him. “It’s good to be home.”

  With his cheek pressed against her head, he agreed. “Yeah, it is.” Home could be a lot of places. Right now, it was in her arms.

  “I’m dying to see John Aaron,” she said as they pulled apart.

  Aaron linked his fingers with hers. “Come on.”

  As they reached the deck, Stevie called, “The next time Aaron acts like an asshole, just let me know.”

  “I’m a changed man,” Aaron said.

  Lia gave Aaron a doubtful glance. “Seriously?”

  �
�Yeah, I am.” He ushered her in the house.

  “I hope you haven’t changed too much. It was the old you who I fell in love with.”

  “I’m still the old me, too. Plus the new me.”

  She laughed as Frank stepped out of the kitchen and opened his arms for a hug. “I’ve missed you, girl.”

  “I missed you, too,” she said as they hugged. “And your garden. I haven’t had a decent tomato since I left here.”

  “We’re having sliced tomatoes with dinner tonight.” Frank grinned. “You will be staying, won’t you?”

  “She’ll be staying,” Aaron answered, and she rubbed her hand across his back.

  “New you,” she murmured.

  Miss Pauline stood and smiled when they walked in the nursery. “He’s sleeping soundly,” she told Aaron and Lia before she left them alone with the baby.

  At the crib, Lia reached for the baby. “I just have to hold him a minute.”

  “You won’t wake him. He sleeps like he eats. All or nothing.”

  She sat down in the rocker and gazed at the baby like he was the first one she had ever seen. “He’s grown so much.” She spoke in a whisper. “Doesn’t he have the prettiest face?”

  “He looks like you.”

  Aaron noticed she was blinking back tears. “Sometimes life is hard to figure out. Like why things happen the way they do. Why Candace left him behind for me to find.” Lia cradled John Aaron close. “Was it because I was supposed to come here? That my life was supposed to change? Gilda says there are always spiritual forces at work in our lives. She doesn’t believe things are random.”

  “I don’t think it was random. I think we were meant to be a family.”

  She wiped a tear from her cheek. “Me, too.” She pressed her lips to the baby’s forehead. “It doesn’t seem real to have him home. Does he like his things?”

  “Yeah. He seems to be very happy, and he loves music.” Aaron pushed the button on the music box that had been a shower gift, and “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” started to play. He folded his arms atop of the side of the crib and listened as she put words to the music, singing to the baby while they rocked. If this was a dream, he never wanted to wake up.