Ruin Me

by Madalyn Boucher

  “Nametag?” I was surprised the word made its way out of my mouth. He raised an eyebrow, unsure of what I meant. “Why are you wearing a nametag?” Nick Foster. Manager.

  “I work here.” I must have looked utterly amazed because he chuckled. “I used to work here during college,” he explained. “I’m the night manager here in addition to teaching. I get to rent as many movies as I’d like so I figured I’d rather not leave.” I watched his mouth as he spoke, in a complete trance. “How’s the study guide treating you?”

  “It’s amazing.” I cleared my throat, unsure as to why my voice wasn’t working properly. “I want to say thank you again. I…” He bit his bottom lip while I talked. I could feel myself melting.

  “How old are you, Hayley?” His question caught me off guard. He leaned against the case of movies and it felt as if he were staring into my soul.

  “Uh, eighteen,” I answered. A nearly imperceptible smile reached his lips.

  “Do you drive?”

  “I do, usually.” He nodded his head. “My license is suspended,” I explained. “I get it back around Christmas.” Over the summer I had lost my license for speeding. Lacy and I had been heading home from the movies, only to be pulled over for going 35 over the speed limit. The judge took away my license for six months.

  His eyebrows arched in curiosity. “Interesting.” I nodded my head before backing away slowly. “Okay, well I’ll see you around.” With that, he walked away.

  Five

  Hayley

  “Hey sweetie,” my mother greeted me. It was nice to see her, considering she had just returned from Australia. “How’s school been?” I took a seat on the leather rolling chair identical to hers.

  “It’s been good. We’ve been reviewing in all of my classes for next week’s exams, so I’ve been studying.” My teacher is also the equivalent to a God, and I can’t seem to get the thought of him out of my mind, but everything is fine. “Ryan Waters asked me out yesterday, but I told him no.” This caught her attention.

  “Ryan Waters…Is he that nice boy from church?”

  “Yeah, that’s him. Quarterback, pitcher for the baseball team. He’s a real heartthrob.” My voice was thick with sarcasm.

  “If he’s so great, why’d you turn him down?” My mother asked. Of course she didn’t understand. Hell, I didn’t understand. Instead of explaining myself I shrugged my shoulders. “What about Lacy? Is she still into Adam?”

  “Alan,” I corrected. “And yes. He still hasn’t talked to her outside of class, so I don’t think it’s going anywhere.”

  “At least she’s finally over that Taylor boy.” I shuddered at the thought of him. “Anyhow, the reason I called you into my office pertains to Lacy. I am aware of the fiscal crisis her father is going through with paying off the IRS and mortgage fees and―” I stared at my mother with a blank expression. She often forgot that I was her daughter, not a client. “Grownup things,” she recovered quickly. “Anyway, they’re barely getting by with what they’ve got. Thom just lost his job, too, because of missing too much work. Long story short, he is in no condition to be taking care of Lacy. I―”

  “Since when has that been your place to make that judgment?” I asked, feeling defensive.

  “Sweetie, I know Thom is a great father. I’ve seen it with my own two eyes. He’s just…a little unstable at the time. And he knows it, Hay. He called me while I was on my trip. The poor man was hysterical. Once I managed to calm him down, he asked me for a favor.” I hated when my mother took hours to get to the point. I squirmed impatiently in my seat. “After a long talk with your father and Thom, I think it’d be best if Lacy came to live with us. Just until her father becomes…stable.”

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My heart was racing a thousand miles a minute with sheer excitement. My best friend was going to live with me! I was practically jumping up and down with excitement.

  “Now Hayley, her father is going to come over tomorrow, and we’re going to sit her down and talk to her. Just…make sure she’s comfortable.” I had to start decorating tonight. Would she stay in my room or move into one of the guest rooms? She could have the one across the hall from me. It was dull and lifeless, but a little TLC would make it livable. A million ideas ran through my head. “Hayley!” My mother shouted. I looked at her, confused. “Did you hear me?” I shook my head. “Do not bombard her with questions or decoration ideas, okay? Let her adjust.”

  “Of course,” I answered.

  “That’s my sweet girl.”

  •••

  The following day I walked into school with excited butterflies flapping around in my stomach. When I arrived at my first period class, I was surprised to find Lacy’s seat empty. I looked around the room, confused, and then took my seat. First period was Calculus, and I welcomed the thought of numbers and equations. I went through periods two, three and four without passing Lacy in the hallway.

  I found my usual lunch table and sat down, feeling alone and out of place. I didn’t care for the table I sat at, but they were Lacy’s friends and I respected that I had been accepted into the group.

  “Hey, Gabby,” I nudged one of Lacy’s friends. She stared at me questionably. “Have you heard from Lacy? She’s not answering any of my texts and I’m getting worried.”

  “No, sorry.” And that was that. I shook my head and dug around my salad for a few moments. Ryan and his friend Luke came to the table and sat down. I thought that things could be potentially awkward between Ryan and I, considering he had asked me out and I had declined, but it wasn’t. He talked to me as if nothing had happened, which was refreshing.

  “Where’s your sidekick?” Ryan asked me.

  “I don’t know…” He must have noticed the worry in my voice because his face softened.

  “I bet everything is okay,” Ryan assured me. I smiled and shook my head. “She’s probably just sleeping in, taking an extra day for the weekend. Hell, I almost did. But then I remembered that my little lunch buddy wouldn’t last a day without me.” I rolled my eyes at him, amused. He poked my side, making me laugh.

  “Queen Gabby is staring at you like you’re a coffee from Starbucks,” Ryan whispered in my ear. I laughed aloud, drawing attention towards us. Gabby scoffed and continued talking to her minions. I sometimes wondered if her words were laced with a possessive message, turning her followers into her slaves. It was a cult.

  “Let her stare all she wants.” I gnawed on a carrot, annoyed.

  “She’s just jealous.” I laughed. “No, I’m being serious.”

  “I’m sure you are. I just don’t like her.” He shrugged his shoulders and took a bite of his cheese pizza. I realized he was complimenting me, but I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it and give him false hope.

  The rest of the day continued without a word from Lacy. Mr. Foster’s class was the only enjoyable part of my day. We were learning about the War of Extermination/ Elimination, something that I found interesting. I felt someone watching me as I filled out my worksheet. I glanced up from my paper, meeting the gaze of Mr. Foster. He gave me a small smile before averting his attention back to his laptop. I felt my face becoming red-hot as I glanced back down at my paper. My thoughts were no longer revolving around the awful massacre of bison, but instead, the man in the front of the room.

  When the last bell rang, I rushed out of school, relieved to be out of the classroom and into my mom’s car. I threw my bag in the backseat and sighed. Between Lacy ghosting me and Mr. Foster’s odd behavior towards me, I was drained.

  “What’s wrong?” My mother asked, sensing my uneasy mood.

  “Lacy wasn’t at school today and she didn’t answer any of my texts. I was so excited to tell her the good news,” I whined.

  “Lacy’s dad let her stay home today, she didn’t tell you?” I shook my head. “He decided to give her the news today instead of waiting for tonight, which is perfectly understandable. He wanted to spend his last day here with her and―”
/>
  “What do you mean ‘his last day here with her’?” I asked. My mom slammed on her brakes as another car sped past us. She inhaled deeply, holding back whatever profanity lied on her tongue. After a few moments she composed herself.

  “I don’t think it’s my place to say. However, when she comes over tonight, I’m sure she will tell you everything that’s going on. Just don’t bombard her with questions, alright? Let her open up.” I stayed silent the entire way home.

  I did as much studying as I possibly could before I heard a knock on my door. My mother emerged in front of me, dressed in a black pantsuit. Her hair was neatly pulled into a bun, not a single strand out of place. Unlike her usual radiant mood, there was a slight undertone of unease that rolled off her. A voice in the back of my head told me that something was very wrong.

  “Hey, dinner is almost ready. Make sure you wash up; the Evans’s will be here any minute.”

  I followed her downstairs and helped set the table. She had made her famous chicken noodle casserole, Lacy’s favorite. It was odd using our dining table, considering we usually ate our dinner in our rooms or office or somewhere other than together. My mother insisted on us using our fine China plates and bowls, confirming my suspicions. When the doorbell rang my mother smoothed down her pantsuit, straightened her posture and walked to the front door.

  Lacy and her father walked inside the house, a morose look plastering their faces. Mr. Evans had never been inside of my house before, and it was obvious that he was as mesmerized as I had been when I stepped foot in the White House in eighth grade. Lacy linked her arm in mine and looked me in the eyes. I knew that look. It was the We-Need-To-Talk look. I nodded my head as we sat down at the table. I looked at the time on my phone, wondering if my father was going to be late or not.

  “No phones at the dinner table, young lady.” I turned around and saw my father standing in the doorway, wearing a suit and tie. His brown hair was combed back into a professional, clean look. His face was shaved, and his smile were brighter than ever, including the gap between his two front teeth. Lacy’s dad stood up and shook his hand, towering over him. The scene was a little off-putting. My mom walked into the kitchen, allowing her eyes to gaze over him before a smile settled between her lips. I averted my eyes to Lacy, only to find her doing the same. I kicked her under the table, and she began laughing, her face nearly matching her hair.

  “Sorry, Dad.” I slid my phone back in my pocket and waited for the food to be served. Once everything was dished out and the drinks were poured, the serious faces turned on and the conversation became more than senseless chitchat. Lacy grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

  “Alecia,” my father began. I could feel her grip tighten. “I know you and your father talked things over today, but I just want to make sure that this is alright with you. I know this can be a scary change, considering you’re going to be living with us instead of your father. Your schooling will stay the same, you will have the same responsibilities as Hayley does, and you will be treated as a part of this family.” Silence. I looked at Lacy, attempting to read her expression.

  “I know it’s for the best,” she finally said. “And I already feel like I’m a part of this family. I don’t expect you to treat me like I’m a guest…I have full intentions of doing chores and helping out around here.” Her voice wasn’t as excited as I thought it would be. What was wrong? I couldn’t think of anything more exciting than moving in with your best friend. We had talked about it a thousand times before. There was more talk about living arrangements and whether this or that was okay.

  “It’s for the best,” I heard Lacy repeat. I looked over at her father and noticed how pained his expression was.

  “Hayley, Anthony will you help me in the kitchen?” My mother asked me. I understood the gist of what she was saying and followed her into the kitchen. My father wasn’t long behind us. Once we were behind our kitchen doors, I strained to hear what was being said. I couldn’t make out words, only muffled voices and―was someone crying? It wasn’t Lacy’s cry…I was familiar with that sound. No, it seemed to be coming from her father. The thought of her big, tough father crying made my heart ache. I couldn’t imagine seeing my father cry. Or display any emotion at all.

  Six

  Hayley

  Once I heard the front door shut, I made my way out of the kitchen and into the living room. Lacy was sitting against our couch, her face stained with running makeup and her eyes swollen from crying. I wrapped my arms around her, allowing her to sob into my shoulder. I led her upstairs and into my bedroom. Once we were sitting on my bed, she began crying again.

  “Lacy, what’s wrong?” I asked. It took her a while to respond and when she did her voice continued to crack.

  “Tennessee,” she whispered. I stared at her, confused. “My dad…he’s moving to Tennessee. We were apparently getting evicted and now…” she began crying again. I rubbed her back, not saying a word. “Now he’s moving so he can go back to…” She stopped talking. I waited for her to start again, but she didn’t.

  I summoned enough courage to finally ask her where he was going. “Going back where?” Lacy’s shoulders began shaking again; I was surprised she was still able to generate tears.

  “Rehab,” she whispered. I gasped. I hadn’t meant to, but it slipped out. Thom, in rehab? I couldn’t imagine it. What had he gone there for? Lacy began speaking again, bringing me back to our conversation. “I never told you this stuff before because I was scared you would immediately judge my dad.” I began to interject but Lacy cut me off before I could. “I know now that you would never do that…but it’s hard to tell someone something you’ve tried so hard to forget. I didn’t want to bring up the past because that’s what I thought this entire situation was…the past.” I could feel my chest grow tight. I had never related to something as much as I had in that moment.

  “I had no idea…” I mumbled.

  “No one did. There’s a lot you don’t know about my family and me. We’ve got our fair share of secrets just like everyone else does. Not everyone’s family is open and public about their personal lives.” Her words were harsh and blatant. I stayed silent, not knowing what to say. Regardless of what Lacy thought, there were things about me that no one knew. Things that I would never share. “Hay, I’m sorry. It’s just been a rough night, alright? I know you don’t get it because your dad is never around, but it’s different for me. I haven’t been away from my dad since I was in ninth grade.” Confusion washed over me. I had met Lacy our freshman year.

  “Well I’m here if you need to talk,” I told her.

  She rubbed her nose on her sleeve before giving out a weak laugh. “I lied to you when I said I started school at a late age.” Her voice shook as she spoke. “When he went to rehab the first time, I stayed with my aunt. She was always working, so I stopped going to school. My mom had died the year before, and then I lost my dad, and everything was so hopeless.” Tears entered her eyes again. “The school forced me to repeat ninth grade because of my truancy. My dad decided that we needed a fresh start, so he moved us here. He wanted to be closer to his family.” I wrapped my arms around her as she fell apart again.

  “I love you,” I whispered. “I will never judge you or your father.”

  “Do you promise?” She asked.

  I intertwined my pink with hers. “I promise.”

  Seven

  Hayley

  The next morning my mother, Lacy and I ventured to the store. My mother wanted Lacy to feel as comfortable as possible, so we spent hours choosing paint colors, decorations, and bedding for her new room. Her spirits began to lift as we exited IKEA, dozens of bags in our arms. My mother kissed our foreheads before loading the trunk with our latest purchases. Once we returned home, my father began to prepare her room.

  “We should probably return those movies back to the movie store,” Lacy suggested. I surreptitiously prayed that Mr. Foster would be working.

  When we arrived at Triple D, we beg
an scanning the aisles for anything that would make our skin crawl. Lacy wandered towards the Nearly New section as I scanned the titles of each disk.

  “You are quite the avid movie watcher.” I could feel my entire body turn into liquid. I turned around, meeting the gaze of Mr. Foster. My blood grew hot.

  “Hi.” My words came out high pitched. “Why is it that I’ve never seen you here before in the past, yet you’re out in the open quite often now.” He smirked, showing his dimples. Holy shit, this man was mesmerizing.

  “Perhaps you’re just here at the right time.” There was something playful in his voice, almost as if he were flirting with me. I internally rolled my eyes at myself, embarrassed by my own delusions. “See anything you like?” I bit my lip, reminding myself that he was talking about movies.

  “I—”

  “Hayley, did you find a movie?” Lacy asked, unaware of Mr. Foster’s presence.

  “Yeah.” Mr. Foster took this as his cue to walk away. I twisted my head towards her. “What’s your problem?” I snapped.

  “What?” She asked, confusion edging her words. I ignored her and walked off, ready to pay for the movie. Mr. Foster was busy helping a customer, forcing us to stand in a different line. Once the lady handed me the receipt, I stormed out of the movie store. “What did I do?” Lacy asked as she caught up to me. I stayed quiet as she went on. “I really have no idea what I did wrong back there. Can you at least give me a hint?”

  “Did you not see Mr. Foster in there?” I asked. Her eyes widened, indicating she had not. “You interrupted our conversation. It was rude, Lacy.” I crossed my arms over my chest as I waited for her to unlock her car. As the words escaped my mouth, I realized how childish I sounded.

  She gave me a devious smile as she dangled her keys in front of me. “Holy shit, Hayley. You like him.”