Breaking Old Habits

by Melissa Bender

  Patting his chest, I slowly climbed off him. “I feel much better. Now tell me how good I look, and we can leave.”

  “You look incredible. Edible. As always, beautiful.”

  Suck up, baby. I don’t mind a bit.

  His parents were at the wharf already when we arrived, and we were seated outside on the deck. The place was fancy, stunning, and expensive. I did not know what to eat. I would have been happy with a pizza.

  It dawned on me that this is how Griffin had grown up. I had wondered about the tuxes in his closet and why he had not worn them. He just said they were from years ago. It never clicked that his parents were loaded and that he was, too. Maybe he had a trust fund. Oh, now that made sense. Looking at him, he really did not look like the guy who came from one though.

  Gazing over the menu again, I settled on something I could not pronounce and pointed it out to Griffin so he could order for me. With a soft chuckle, he nodded. His hand on my thigh inched higher, and I tried to pry it away, but lost since, well, he was stronger than me. Besides, I kinda liked being felt up on the sly by him in public.

  Karen, who has been quiet since we arrived, picked up her glass of water and adjusted her bra strap. She was in a dress—a fucking dress while I wore jeans and a v-neck t-shirt. Even his mother was wearing a dress. The two of them were talking about everything from TV to the boys and how well they had been doing in class.

  “Toby is even getting Bs all on his own.” She smiled over at him.

  “Yeah, Ayla has been helping me. She does pretend tests so I can prepare for real ones,” Toby replied back in a way that had my heart melting like an adoring parent.

  “That’s lovely.” Teresa gave him a tight-lipped smile. “What about you, Mack? Still top of your class?”

  “Yep,” he replied in a mumble as his head was buried in the book he had been currently reading.

  I said current because his mother snatched it out of his hands and tossed it beside her on the floor. “Put that garbage away while we’re about to eat.”

  “But Mum… Dad said I could read it.”

  Karen shot him a pointed look. “I said, no.” Even I felt the sting of the scolding. “Listen to me and do as you’re told for once.”

  I offered him a smile. He looked sad, and it hurt that she had embarrassed him in front of everyone like that. Griffin said nothing, but his jaw tensed, and his hand tightened on my jeans.

  Paul, clearing his throat, ordered drinks for the table and then proceeded to start on his order. Turned out that mine was not that complex after all. I was loving the toasted sourdough bread with garlic butter and could have eaten an entire loaf on my own.

  “This is really good.” I smiled, about to take another bite, when Griffin reached forwards, taking the piece from my hand and bringing it to his lips with a crunchy bite.

  My open mouth had him laughing softly. “You’re right. It is good.” He then continued to eat my second piece.

  The conversation was light, and not much was said as main was delivered. Paul and Griffin both got the rib eye, rare and bloody. My mouth began to water, but not in a good way. I felt sick and queasy. I forced myself to look away and start on my bowl of potato gnocchi, but it was not helping much.

  “I need to use the bathroom,” I whispered, turning inwards towards him to keep my voice low. “Your lunch is making me want to throw up.”

  Looking down at his plate, he clicked his tongue. “Uh, yeah. I was wishing they had pizza or burgers for adults on the menu. I’m hungover as all fuck.”

  “We’ll pick up pizza and burgers afterwards.” I smiled, kissing him on the cheek, before I stood and excused myself.

  I was not sick, but I felt like it. I just pulled out my phone as I sat on the toilet and read Harvey’s text over again. I had not responded to him. It was not a simple thing to answer. I felt like I deserved better, and if I wanted it, then I would have to make that change, but moments like this, with how he was being all sweet and romantic, made me want him more. I loved him and could not see a life without Griffin and his sons in it.

  Shoving my phone back in my bag, I stood up to leave when I heard the bathroom door open and talking voices. Like any normal girl, I peered through the door crack to spy on them.

  “Karen, she actually seems lovely. I think she might just be shy,” Theresa said, opening her purse and pulling out her lipstick. “The boys seem to be quite taken with her.”

  Karen sighed and shook her head. “She’s after his money. She works in a café, and can’t give those boys a stable home. She’s trying to take them from me. Do you really want Griffin to marry a girl half his age? She walks around in her underwear, for crying out loud. You said you’d come down to help me get rid of her.”

  “Calm down, sweetie. I called her a prostitute. I don’t think I could have offended her anymore although Griffin did introduce her as Brian’s girlfriend, to begin with.”

  Her giggle was annoying. “So fucking hilarious. Wish I could have heard. She can’t stay there anymore. I want her gone.”

  Theresa smiled as she checked her teeth for stains. “You want my son back? I think you need to take things further if you’re afraid of that happening. Make a move to get back with him. You have children together. You’ll always be family. She can’t take that bond away.”

  My heart was hurting. How could his mother suggest that?

  Karen, with a smile, brushed her hair to the side. “Don’t worry. I have something that’ll make him see we’re meant to be.”

  “Well, then…” Theresa said, placing her lippy away back in her purse. I watched as she turned to face Karen and placed both her hands on either side of her shoulders. Her voice was determined as she spoke. “Get my son back and away from that young trashy thing. I don’t want her anywhere near my grandsons any longer.”

  “Don’t worry. I told you before, she’s just a young pretty thing for him to get a thrill out of.”

  I exited the bathroom a few moments after they had left and lingered by the fish tank for a moment before I made my way to the table again. I did not utter a word about what I had heard to anyone and played it cool, telling Griffin I was watching the fishes when he asked what took me so long. He leaned in, kissing me on my cheek and telling me he had chosen a raspberry crepe with whipped cream for dessert. I only smiled in return.

  My mind was elsewhere.

  All through lunch, it was all I could think about… this plan of hers to break us apart. What would she do? Would Griffin believe her and fall for it? No, I doubted it. There was really nothing she could do. She had done all the crazy things she could possibly do to hurt me.

  I had thought her mother was defending me at first, but I should have known better. She wanted him and Karen back together. The entire conversation after I came out was just about them and reminiscing about the earlier years with the kids.

  At the end of lunch, his parents were saying goodbye to us. After she had hugged Karen, she came towards me with a fake smile and put her arms out. As her lips went to touch my cheek in a goodbye kiss, I murmured in a voice low enough so only she would hear me, “I love your son, and you and Karen can do whatever you want to try and push me away… but I’m not going anywhere.”

  “I don’t—”

  “You really should make sure nobody is in the ladies room when you decide to talk about others.”

  Her eyes grew wide, and I smiled with my own sweet fake smile.

  “Everything alright?” Paul asked, coming over. “It was lovely to meet you, Ayla. Hope to see you again soon. I told Griffin to bring you down home for a visit. I’m sure you’d like to come out on the boat.”

  I hugged him back, and did not miss the thunder glare from Karen, either. “Sounds great. We’ll have to do that.” Pulling away, I watched as the boys said goodbye.

  After that, we all went our own ways, and the boys came home with us. Karen made a throat slitting signal behind them as she got out of the car, and I just gave her the finger on
the sly. As if he would go back to her. She was crazy.

  Burgers and pizza were devoured by us all, and our lazy Saturday was underway in the usual way—my favourite kind of way: movies, snacks, and pyjamas.

  “You okay? You were pretty quiet through the rest of lunch.”

  “I’m okay. Just want to watch a movie and snuggle on the couch.” I yawned as I curled into his side, placing my leg over his with the blanket pulled up close.

  Toby and Mack were playing Xbox in their room while we were in the living room about to watch something on Netflix. I was not even paying attention.

  Shifting slightly, so he was half leaning above me, he stroked his fingers through my hair soothingly. “Thank you for today. I know it wasn’t easy for you.”

  “Are you happy with me? Like, really happy?” I asked. I did not mean for those words to slip out, but they did. “I mean, is there any part of you that wants to have your family back together for the sake of the boys?”

  Without hesitation, he answered me. “Not at all. I love my sons, but Karen? I don’t love her, I feel nothing but anger and repulse for her. She lied to me too many times and destroyed any trust I had in her.”

  “Because of the pregnancy?” I asked quietly.

  “Yes. I was going to leave, but she announced she was pregnant, so I stayed for the sake of them.”

  “Did you love her then?” I hated bringing up the past, but like I said, jealousy got the better of me. “I mean, I hear that men fall more in love when they watch their partner give birth.”

  My head rose and lowered with his deep breath as his heart rate beat on a steady pace underneath my ear. “I should have,” he whispered, “but my only thought was how much I despised her.”

  “You’ll tell me if you ever begin to despise me, right?” I looked up, needing a guarantee that he would never stay with me for the sake of it.

  Placing a kiss on my forehead, he spoke against my skin as if in a promise, “You’re nothing like her.”

  No. I definitely wasn’t.

  Mack and Toby walked into the living room, scrunching their noses in disgust as they looked at us loved up and cuddling on the couch.

  “Yes?” I said, and Griffin looked up. “Can we help you both?”

  “We want to play Just Dance. Will you play with us?” Mack’s eyes lit up. “I’m on Ayla’s team.”

  I giggled against the crook of his neck and smiled, looking up as Griffin groaned loudly. “Oh, I definitely want to watch you and your dorky dad dancing.”

  “My dorky dad dancing was the reason you’re here with me now.” He smiled, tightly wrapping his arms around my body. “Alright, set it up, and we’ll play.”

  ***

  The next few days passed, and nothing exciting really happened. Griffin and I had a free night, so we planned a date night at the café. Harvey was working, which did not seem to faze him as far as I could tell. I was excited to have a night out with my main man, have dinner, and then a movie afterwards.

  I sat and sipped on my hot coffee, trying to keep myself awake as I held my phone out and snapped a picture of Griffin who was reading over the menu.

  “Babe, you know what’s on the menu already.” I pointed out, yawning.

  “I know.” He flashed a smile. “I’ll take a steak pie with sauce.”

  How original. I rolled my eyes. “I think you need to take me out to a fancy restaurant for dinner. I’m over eating between here and home.”

  “Am I not keeping you happy, dear?” He just grinned as he reached over, taking my hand. “I’ll surprise you next week with reservations somewhere expensive.”

  I heard a slight scoff beside me as Harvey muttered not so quietly. “Money doesn’t keep people happy for long.”

  Griffin did not respond as I shot Harvey a glare.

  “I need to make a call outside. I won’t be long.”

  As I watched him leave, I walked around the counter to where Harvey was. “What the hell is your problem?”

  He shrugged. “Nothing. Just keeping him on his toes. Does he have any clue about next week?” he asked.

  I grinned, forgetting all about my annoyance. My plan was underway. “Nope. Not a clue. It’s going to be great. The boys are at hers for that weekend.”

  “Have you told her that you’re going away and not to call him?”

  I scoffed. “No. Why would I tell her that? She would figure out some excuse to give the boys to him.”

  “I can’t believe he dated her, let alone fucked her. I wouldn’t even touch it with someone else’s cock.”

  “Umm…” I busted out laughing, bracing myself and sitting up on the counter top. “That’s disgusting.”

  He was laughing hysterically, fixing his eyes on mine, and I thought for a moment that my heart would explode. The smile he wore was squeezing around my heart. There was pure joy between us. It was easy, and it was never complicated. My laughter died down as his hand began to reach up and tuck a lock of hair behind my ear. Our eyes were still connected, and a part of me worried that he was about to kiss me.

  “Should do that more often.”

  My brows furrowed together, confused. “Do what?”

  “Smile. You’re so beautiful when you smile.”

  Everything came to a sudden halt when the door closed, and we broke apart. Griffin was standing there, glaring with his jaw tightly clenched. His fists scrunched as he looked from me to Harvey and back again. “Get in my car. Now.”

  “What?” I choked out.

  “Dinner is over. Ayla, get in my fucking car now!” he growled as he turned and walked back outside. He was pissed.

  “Umm… I’ll see you later. Sorry.” I did not know what I was apologising for. I just felt the need to.

  “You don’t have to go with him. I can take you home,” Harvey whispered as I began to move off the counter. “He’s not your keeper.”

  I looked at Griffin who was already in the car waiting for me. I smiled back to Harvey, giving him a slight shrug. “I have to go.”

  “Hope he realises how fucking good he’s got it. Maybe if I treated you like shit, you’d come to me.” He grumbled, shaking his head as the horn out front honked loudly. “See you around, Ayla. Text me when you’re home, so I know you’re safe.”

  Griffin floored the car before I even had my belt on. “What the fuck was that?” he asked, his words seeping with anger.

  “What was what?” I asked back. I knew that he had seen Harvey and me. “There’s nothing going on between us.”

  “Are you sure about that, Ayla?” He said through clenched teeth, taking a sharp corner and then slamming into a lower gear.

  There was nothing between him and me; I was sure about that. “Yes. Now slow down and tell me about this expensive restaurant that you’re taking me to next week.” My hand slid over his groin, and he began to calm down as I unzipped his jeans and began stroking his already hard cock.

  He was jealous, and I fucking loved it.

  CHAPTER NINE

  “What’s for dinner?” Karen asked, coming into the kitchen and setting her glass of water down on the counter where I was chopping up vegetables to go with the marinated roast beef I had been cooking all day. “Oh, veggies? Yuck.”

  I smirked, watching her retreat from the kitchen. “Figured you’d say that.”

  “Excuse me?” She stopped, turning around. “What’s that meant to mean?”

  “Nothing.” I kept chopping the carrots, placed them in the steamer, and looked up. “Karen, I think it’s time you leave. Dinner is almost done, and homework has been finished for almost an hour.”

  I was not being rude about it, but this was dinnertime, and I had to leave for work and wanted to spend some time with the kids and Griffin alone before I left.

  “Griffin, tell your hussy to fuck off,” she called out, keeping her eyes on mine as she purses her lips into a puckered pout.

  “Don’t speak to me like that. You’re in my home, and you’re going to show some respec
t.” For once in your damn fucking life! “Oh, and how about putting your rubbish in the bin instead of leaving it laying on the floor for someone else to pick up, you lazy—”

  “Ayla!” Griffin raised his brow as he entered the room. “Problem?”

  Yeah, a shit load of them, I wanted to say. “Nope. All good, babe. Can you please tell the boys that dinner will be ready in half hour?” I smiled at him. “I cooked your favourite.”

  “Pizza?” Karen asked, butting into our conversation.

  He ignored her, walking over and lifting the lid on the slow cooker. “I’ve been smelling this all day, and it’s not my favourite thing to eat. Second maybe, but something else is first.” My core warmed up as his eyes travelled over my body. I heard a cough behind him, and he pulled away, standing up straighter. “Uh, yeah… I’ll tell them. Karen, you should be getting over to your place. We’re having a family dinner soon.”

  I did a victory grin as I watched him walk away, and Karen was left grinding her teeth from the dismissal she got. Family dinner with me, him, and the boys? Yep, sounds perfect to me.

  “You’ll never replace me.”

  “I’m not trying to replace you, but I’m not going away. So, you should really figure out a way to get used to me being around because I’m here to stay.”

  She walked closer and shoved a pink painted nail into my chest, poking it. “You’ll never be anything to them. You’re a little slut who is nothing to my sons. You’ll never be their mother, and you sure as hell won’t be his wife!”

  I stood there, tears forming in my eyes as her words hit me right in the heart. She was right, but I did not want her to know that. I would not be his wife or a mother—something I desperately craved to be. I wanted to have his children growing inside my belly and to share a surname with him and his sons. I wanted a real family.

  I was kidding myself and losing who I had become. I felt as if I were nothing.

  “Hey, Ayla?” Mack called out. “Can I have a friend stay over my birthday tomorrow night?”