Breaking Old Habits

by Melissa Bender

  Cutting me off before I could get a word in, she barged past me and blocked my view of him. “That’s right. It’s your birthday, big boy. You’re going to love what mummy has brought you.”

  Yeah, with money that she hasn’t earned herself.

  “Ayla?” he asked again, stepping around her with big, hopeful eyes. “Please? Dad said to ask if you’re ok with it.” Well, that was a change.

  “Umm... sure.” I smiled, composing myself and wiping away the tears before anyone noticed. I kept my back to them as he said goodbye to his mother and walked her out. I hated her more than anything for doing this to me. If she just kept away, I would be more than ok.

  ***

  Work kept me busy, but Harvey and I barely spoke. We were not purposely ignoring each other; the nights were just busy, and I did not want to stop. I would end up thinking about the situation at home and get all depressed. I did not want that. I needed to keep busy and focus on the good things in my life, the positive ones.

  Holly came over, holding a bottle of champagne and a tray of glasses, after we had closed the doors. “Who’s up for a drink?” She grinned, popping the lid off and squealing when the cork flew into the wall and literally went through it.

  “Ahh, not me.” I laughed. “You’re not meant to pop the cork that way,” I said as the bubbles foamed like crazy from the bottle. “Oh, and I just finished mopping. You can fix that up.”

  Pouting, she groaned. “But I wanted to get drunk.”

  “You get drunk every night.” Harvey pointed out, joining in our conversation as he picked up his bag. “Why did you pop a bottle of that?”

  “I wanted to try it.” She took a mouthful, and she spat it out. “Eww. Gag. No, thanks. Anyway, I’m off. Gotta meet my lover for some fun.”

  She was a crack up—funny, and gorgeous. Oh, and also a lesbian who liked to wear the strap on.

  Harvey shuffled nervously on his feet. “Yeah, me too. Uh, see ya.”

  “Yep! I’ll clean this mess up. Thanks!” I called out, going to the storage room and finding the mop again. It was just something else to clean up that was not mine.

  It was two am, and I lay in Griffin's arms after we had made love, tangled together in naked bliss. Stroking my fingers over his chest, I ran them up and back down. “I want to move.” It had been on my mind most the night. “I want us to move.”

  “What?” he asked, his voice vibrating against my cheek.

  “I want to move and have a house of our own.” I wanted something more from him. This? It was not enough for me anymore. I needed a big commitment. This was his house, and I wanted one that was ours.

  “Ayla…” He sighed. “What’s wrong with this place? You don’t like it?”

  “I don’t like her coming over here. You get the kids, and she’s over here constantly helping with homework that they can do on their own. She-”

  “Stop it,” he said in his normal tone. “Moving wouldn’t solve anything. The boys like having their mother close, and it’s easier on them.”

  “It’s not easy on me, Griffin.” None of this was.

  Sitting up, he reached for a pair of boxers and began to put them on. “Look, I told you about all of this before you moved in.”

  “No, you never did.” I reminded. “You never told me she was across from you or that she would be coming over daily. I don’t like it.”

  “So what now? You want to break up? Is that it? You want to go fuck Harvey?”

  Woah. That was uncalled for.

  “Jesus Christ. You’re back to this?” We already had this fight two days ago. “I told you nothing is going on between us. You keep throwing it in my face. That’s not fair!” Sitting up myself, I found my panties at the end of the bed where he had slid them down my thighs and tossed them away.

  “Ayla, I watched him fucking caress your face like a lover. He’s into you.”

  “Big deal!” I almost shouted. “Karen’s into you.”

  “So he does want you?” Shaking his head, he pulled his long dark locks into a bun. “I fucking knew it. I fucking knew it, and you did too! You should have told me!” He pointed an accusing finger at me. “You should have told me.”

  I should have, but I would be damned if I admitted that right now. “Sleep on the couch. Get out.”

  “You’re kicking me out of my own bed? Really?” He laughed. “For doing what? Being pissed that another man was hitting on my girl all this time and she knew about it?”

  Jumping out of bed, I grabbed a pair of actual pyjamas and began dressing into them. “Fuck you. I’ll sleep out there.”

  “Ayla, don’t be ridiculous. You’re overreacting.”

  “No. Don’t you dare tell me I’m overreacting. You’re an ass, Griffin, and… and…” All words were failing me. “Just go call Karen. I’m sure she’s waiting for an all-night text session that you normally have when you think I’m asleep!”

  I was a hormonal mess. Not waiting for his comeback, I slammed the bedroom door and stalked to the linen closet, grabbing a couple of blankets and pillow to set myself up on the couch for the night.

  Fuck him and fuck her. I was so mad.

  I could not stop crying. I hated it. I rarely cried, but this past week all I had done was cry and be over emotional. Wiping my eyes, I took in a shaky breath, and another round of salty tears stung my eyes until I fell asleep wishing everything was different.

  When my eyes finally fluttered open, it was still dark, but I could hear the cars pulling out of the drives as people got ready for work. It took a moment before it all came crashing down and hit me. I remembered the fight we had last night and the constant bickering. Just four more sleeps, and we could go away—just the two of us and be stress slash Karen-free. I could not wait.

  As I sat up on the couch, the passage light came on, and Griffin walked down in just a pair of his boxers, looking like he had slept about as well as I had. “We’ve never spent the night apart because of a fight before.”

  He was right. “I know.”

  “I hate it.”

  “Me too.”

  Coming around to the couch, he pulled the covers back and laid down beside me. His arm was around my body, drawing me in. “What’s going on with us? We never fight like this.”

  “I’m just…” I began to speak, but my voice gave away again as tears pooled in my eyes once more. “This is hard on me—her being here all the time. I feel like she’s everywhere lately.” She was also coming into the café, which I had not mentioned to him. I probably should, but I just could not deal with that right now. “It’s just really suffocating.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said after a few minutes, rubbing circles against my skin with his fingertips. “None of this is fair on you.”

  “I just… I don’t like her coming over here, Griffin. It’s every day now. She’s making a mess and talking to me rudely. Between working and coming home to her, I feel like I’m never getting any time with just you and the boys.” I hope he could hear my desperation to hear him telling her enough was enough. No more. I needed him to put a stop on her constant meddling.

  Looking up at him, I wiped my eyes on the blanket. The words were on the tip of my tongue. I want to have a baby. I wanted to have one with him. My body craved a child with him, but I swallowed the words like a coward and looked away, letting the sobs escape once again.

  “Don’t cry. Fuck anything else but crying… It kills me.” His hands tightened, and he held me tightly.

  Pulling me down with him, I cried, and he just held me, rocking me back and forth until the darkness washed over once again.

  ***

  We were both asleep on the couch when we were awakened by a loud voice calling out. “It’s my birthday! Dad! Ayla! It’s my birthday!”

  Griffin yawned, chuckling. “Happy birthday! Now pipe down. You’ll wake the damn neighbourhood.”

  “Happy birthday,” I called out. “What do you boys want? Presents or breakfast first?” I knew exactly what they wan
ted.

  “Presents!”

  “Shut up!” Toby yelled. “I’m sleeping! But I’ll take presents, too.”

  “Ahh, wonderful mornings with the kids as usual.” Griffin sat up but pulled be back as I went to leave his side. “Are you… I mean, are we okay?” he asked, looking almost too afraid to hear my answer.

  Were we okay? I guess every couple has its up and downs. “We will be. We just need to get on a page that works for us both.”

  “What page is that?” he asked, letting me go finally.

  I gave him a shrug, brushing my hair away from around my face. “I don’t know. I think we need to have a conversation about that. But things… they need to change, Griffin. This doesn’t feel like my house anymore. I don’t feel like it’s just us in this relationship.”

  “It’s your home, Ayla.” He stood up, cupping my cheeks as his body pressed to mine. “It’s our home. Just you and me, pretty. It’s just us here.”

  “Then please respect me. Show me it’s just us and keep her out of it.”

  We pulled apart as one of the birthday boys came running in with his school clothes already on and his hair done. It was a first. “I’m ready. Please tell me I can open my presents before school?” Mack beamed, very excited.

  Griffin hugged him, kissing the top of his head with a grin. “Course you can. Sit, and I’ll go grab them.”

  “Top shelf, my side,” I called out. I had been excited to experience birthdays with the boys and could not wait to see if they liked what we had brought.

  Griffin came back in carrying a large box and a couple other smaller parcels wrapped up in blue paper, and Toby followed sleepily behind him. I had the camera out, taking photos of the birthday boys and watching as they took their first gift.

  They smiled, but I was not expecting him to jump for joy over clothes and new shoes. It was just the general basics they were given before the main gift.

  “Thanks.” Mack put them aside, and Griffin handed over a large box to each of them. Mack went first, slowly opening the card to read.

  “I don’t know what this is, do I?” he asked coming to sit on the floor beside me.

  “Nope. I picked it out, so hopefully, he likes it.” I hoped so. It took me hours to find and only just arrived in the mail last week.

  Slowly, his eyes went from excited to confused to wide and surprised as he tossed the paper aside and spun the large box around, scanning his eyes over the front. “No way!”

  “What is it?” Griffin asked.

  “Dad! It’s like the best present ever!” He beamed, holding up the Hogwarts trunk with all the Harry Potter collector’s books inside. “I can’t believe you got me this!”

  Griffin took the trunk from him and opened it up. “Ayla got you this. I had no clue until now.”

  Mack was suffocating me with a hug as he kissed my cheeks. “Thanks, Mum. I love it!”

  My heart. I felt like I could not breathe. Did he just… no... But the way Griffin was staring at me was telling me yes. Mack had just called me mum for the first time! He had just called me mum, and I really liked it. Tears were threatening to fall down my cheeks. It was a one of a kind experience that I really relished and savoured.

  “You’re welcome. I know how much you love to read, and you lost that other book.” No, she threw it out and made him believe it was lost. “So, pancakes or waffles for breakfast?”

  “Both!” Toby answered. “And bacon, please.” He began to unwrap his gift, and just as eager as Mack, he let out a scream as he held the Nintendo Switch and three games. “Fuck yes!”

  “Language.” I reminded as he too came and hugged me. I think their birthday morning was a win.

  ***

  A pair of strong arms slipped around me from behind as I flipped the bacon over, and lips nuzzled against my neck, showering it with a flutter of kisses. “Smells good.”

  “It’s bacon; of course it smells good.” Really mouth-watering good.

  “Those books… they’re not a cheap set, Ayla.” His scolding was light and playful. “Nor was the Nintendo.”

  “It was worth seeing the expression when they opened them up,” I responded, bumping my ass against his groin as I reached to grab a plate.

  “He called you mum.” I knew where he was going with this. If she had heard, fuck us all. We would never hear the end of it.

  I smiled. “He did, but I think it was a slip-up. It’s ok. Don’t worry about her finding out and raining hell on your life.”

  “That’s not what I meant by it. I was just saying.” He did not seem mad or upset. He seemed… happy.

  “Come on. Let’s have breakfast and once the kids are at school, we could—”

  “Do anal?” I knew that was coming. It had been awhile.

  I laughed. “Fine, but in the shower and after you’ve eaten me out.”

  “When do I fuck you without making you cum that way first?” True. “Now come on. I’m starving.”

  Eyeing my plate, he smirked. “Eating for two?” Then his expression immediately changed, and his cheeks slightly reddened. “Uh, fuck. I didn’t… Toby,” he called out and left the room to find his son.

  In other words, he left out of awkwardness.

  Shit. Eating for two? Like seriously, he actually said that. No, unfortunately, I was not eating for two, much to my dismay. Dropping my sight to the plate, I looked at the food and put half of it back. I suddenly was not that hungry anymore.

  I took my pill and jumped into the shower after clearing the table while Griffin took the boys to school. Leaning my head against the tiled wall, I soaked up the hot water raining down over my naked skin. I was rubbing my shoulders when I heard him walking in the room.

  No words were spoken as I felt his hands on my skin, sliding down between my welcoming thighs. I rolled my head back, lifting my leg and placing my foot on his shoulder as he began to circle my hardening bud slowly.

  My breathing picked up, and my fingers found his hair, pulling and flexing my hips forward. “Griffin…” I moaned. “Faster…” I wanted to just get off.

  With his tongue lapping me up, he curled his fingers inside me, hitting my G-spot, and then slid another into my puckered ass as I started to see nothing but a flash of white. Fuck. I was lost. I held my breath has I threw my head back and came loudly, holding his hair in a fist and pushing his face against my pussy more as I rode out my orgasm.

  His hand stroked his cock up and down, squeezing the tip, as his free hand spun me around and pushed me to the wall. His hands took their place on my hips, and his mouth kissed up the nape of my neck as his thick length tapped my clit, sliding down to my folds and teasing my pussy with a slow dip. His cock was almost in when he pulled out and slammed into my ass.

  I groaned with pleasure as he began taking a slow, steady pace of fucking me. Reaching around, he rubbed my clit with one hand as the other played with my breast, rolling a nipple between his fingers as he started moving faster.

  Turning my head to face him, he met my need and kissed me hard. His tongue was taking command. He did not last long, coming in hot spurts over my ass as I held his cock from behind and jerked him off until he was limp and heavily breathing.

  No words were exchanged, but none were needed right now. He held me in the shower until the water began to turn cold, and we made our way to the bedroom where we would spend the rest of the morning until the kids were due home. Karen was picking them up and bringing them over like they were too stupid to walk five feet on their own.

  “Don’t forget, Samuel is staying over, so we have to cool it on the sex tonight.”

  Griffin lay on the bed, resting on his elbows. “But I want you. I’ll have you silently.”

  “You can have me tomorrow.”

  He just shook his head and stretched out—gloriously lying naked on the bed, might I add. “What I said earlier… about the eating for two—”

  Shit. “Oh, I have to check on the sausage rolls. It’s not a birthday party without them
.”

  “Ayla…” he called out as I had taken off to avoid that conversation. “Get your sexy ass back in here.”

  “No. I know what you’re going to say,” I called out, laughing. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  ***

  Griffin was opening the door for the kids when they came running over, and I saw the annoyance in his face as Mack showed him his new mobile phone. He had never had one before and was not allowed one until he finished school. That was the rule. Four more months would not have hurt him. Just like Toby had to wait. Griffin was adamant about it.

  “Look, Dad. How cool is this?”

  “Great.” He smiled and headed out the door, straight over to where she was standing.

  I glanced out the window, noticing he was pointing back to the house and she was yelling. They were fighting. Ooh, I should have grabbed the popcorn and pulled up a seat for some rare action. I wanted to, but I had a party to set up and food to finish cooking, and I would rather hear what was being said instead of trying to lip read.

  Griffin came back in all flustered and grabbed his car keys. “I’ll be back.”

  “Are you okay?” I asked, and he just nodded. “Okay. Well, don’t be too long. We’ve got cake, remember?”

  He smiled for a moment and walked over, kissing me quickly. “Love you. I won’t be long.”

  “I love you, too.”

  The table was set, and the food was as ready to be eaten as ever. There was still no sign of Griffin, and the boys were all off doing their own thing. Toby was playing his new Nintendo, and the other two… Well, I had no idea.

  “Boys,” I called out, but there was no answer.

  Walking down the hallway, I stopped, pushing open Toby’s door. “Where’s your brother?”

  “In his room, showing Samuel his Potter stuff,” he said, his eyes never leaving the screen.

  “Okay. Well, it’s food time as soon as Dad gets back,” I said as I made my way to the next bedroom door and pushed it open. “Mack, it’s time for—Oh, my god!”