Fear

by Adrianne Lemke

  “That’s okay. I’ll see you in a couple days. You’re off on Friday, right?”

  “Yeah. I’ll be out here for my first lesson,” Ryan stated flatly, not able to hide his tension at the thought of getting on one of the horses after seeing them bucking and racing around the pasture that afternoon.

  “See you then,” Kerry shut Ryan’s door, and waved as he drove off.

  FOURTEEN

  A week passed uneventfully before Ryan and Traci found any more information on the mystery cop Frederick Matthews had told them about. Ryan sat up in his chair and called tersely, “Traci, look at this.”

  Traci stood and turned off her monitor to hide what she was working on before going to Ryan’s desk. “You found the pictures,” she said happily. “Now we might actually get somewhere.” She glanced at her partner and noticed his tension, “What’s wrong, Ryan? Am I missing something?”

  He shook his head and pointed at one of the men in the picture. “That’s my dad,” he said softly. “He’s in several of these pictures, and some of the guys he looks like he was good friends with.” Ryan printed the pictures as Traci studied the man Ryan pointed out as his father.

  “You look a lot like him,” she said finally. “Your eyes are different, but the facial features are the same.”

  “From what I’ve been told I got my eyes from my grandfather. Frank says he could freeze a bear in its tracks just by looking at it.” Ryan spoke with a wistfulness that came from not having known his grandfather.

  Ryan shook off his sadness and got back to business. “We should go show these to Mr. Matthews,” he said as he grabbed the photos from the printer. “They are from the same year that he mentioned, so the guy might be in them somewhere.”

  Traci agreed, and after checking with Captain Riever, the two of them headed to Frederick Matthews’ house, hoping he was there to talk to.

  “The normal work day is over, so if he follows a normal schedule, he should be home,” Traci said. Ryan agreed, so they did not try to call ahead.

  ***

  They were happy that their guess was right, and Matthews was home. They had checked his story after they talked to him the previous week, and found out that he had been seeing the woman he was now married too, and that they were happily married. At least as far as his friends and family knew. Ryan shook his head in amazement. A little over two weeks on the job and he was already becoming cynical.

  “Officer Vetters, Ryan,” Matthews greeted them at the door. “What can I do for the two of you tonight?”

  Ryan gestured for Traci to take the lead. “We found some pictures from around the time you said you heard someone saying that Ryan should have been taken away from Frank. We brought them hoping that you would be able to point out the man who said that.”

  Matthews nodded agreeably. “Sure, I’ll look at them. Do you two want to come in and have a seat?”

  “Thank you, but we’ll have to say no for this time,” Traci said. “We just need you to look at the pictures and then we’re going back to the station.”

  “No problem,” Matthews said genially. Ryan brought out the pictures and Matthews looked closely at them. Ryan had found some head shots of officers from the year of his parents’ death, and they hoped it was one of them.

  “I’m not completely sure, it was a long time ago, but this guy seems to be ringing a bell,” Matthews said, pointing at a man with dark hair and piercing gray eyes. To Ryan the man looked intimidating.

  “Are you certain? We’re going to be tearing into this guy’s life, so you should be sure before you tell us anything,” Traci warned.

  Matthews looked over the pictures again, and nodded. “I’m sure. I knew most of these people personally, but this guy I’m not sure if many people knew him very well at all. I don’t think he was at our precinct for very long. Sorry I don’t remember his name.”

  “That’s okay, Mr. Matthews,” Ryan said. “We have the picture, now we just need to find the name to go with the face. Thank you very much for your time. Can we come back if we have more questions?”

  Matthews gave a sharp laugh. “I’d imagine that you’d come back with or without my permission if you had questions, but yes. Please come if you have any questions. Like I said, I want to help in any way I can.”

  Traci and Ryan thanked Matthews once more and walked to the car. They radioed in their position and plan to return to the station, and started driving back. A few minutes into the drive a call came over the radio: We’ve got a 419 at 8738 W. Lincoln Avenue. All available units please respond to contain the scene.

  Traci called in their unit number and switched on the lights and sirens turning in the direction of the call without looking at Ryan. Ryan felt the blood drain from his face as he heard the address given, and found himself hoping that it had been a mistake. Traci finally spared a glance at her partner and saw that his face was chalk-white.

  “Ryan? Are you okay? This will be your first homicide, you should brace yourself.”

  Ryan shook his head, trying to clear his mind enough to answer his partner. “It’s not that,” he said, his voice raspy. “The address given was my uncle’s bar.”

  Traci’s mouth fell open, and she pressed harder on the gas to get to the bar faster. She knew that Ryan shouldn’t be there, but he would not allow her to turn the car around even if she suggested it, so she continued on. Please don’t let it be Frank, she prayed. He’s the only family Ryan has, and I don’t know how he’d react.

  Traci pulled up to the front of the bar, and saw two other squad cars that had responded to the call. Ryan hardly waited for the car to stop before he ran out and into the bar, not stopping to think that he could be contaminating a crime scene. He nearly collapsed when he saw the body lying on the floor in a puddle of blood. ”No!” his cry came out strangled, and only Traci, who had come in behind him, heard it.

  “Ryan, you shouldn’t be here,” she said as she put her hand on his back to steady him. She felt the tenseness in Ryan’s entire body, and saw a look of confusion and fear flash through his eyes before a wall came down. He didn’t answer her, but knelt down beside the body without touching it or the blood. Ryan held his hand over Frank’s head as if he wanted to touch him, but he left the hand hovering in midair for several moments before he stood and sprinted out of the bar. He almost ran over the ME as he ran out, but didn’t even slow down.

  “First homicide?” the ME asked Traci as he started looking over the body.

  Traci nodded sadly. “It’s worse than that, though,” she said to the kind older man she had worked with on several occasions. “This is his uncle.”

  The ME’s eyes widened in shock. “Poor kid. You should go be with him. He’ll need all the help he can get right now. There are plenty of other officers here.”

  Traci nodded and, without speaking to anyone else at the scene, walked out of the bar to find her partner. She wasn’t completely surprised to find that he was not by the car; she figured he would want to be alone for a while, and his apartment was only a couple miles from the bar. I’ll head over to his place and see if he went back there. Traci took out her cell phone to call Kerry. She had gotten the number from Ryan the previous week, and now had to use it.

  Kerry answered the phone cheerfully, and Traci began to speak. “Kerry? This is Ryan’s partner Traci.”

  “Hi Traci, Ryan’s told me about you,” Kerry’s voice came over the line sounding more guarded than it had when she first answered. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

  Traci sighed sadly. “Unfortunately, yes. Frank was murdered. Ryan is MIA right now, but I think he was just going to his apartment to be alone for a while. I’m looking for him there to start. If I don’t find him there I’ll look around town until I find him.”

  Kerry started crying. ”Frank is dead? Murdered? He’s all the family Ryan has. I’m coming over. I’ll help you find Ryan.”

  Traci wanted to tell Kerry to stay put and not worry, but she knew the other woman cared
deeply about Ryan, so she didn’t have the heart to ask her to stay away. “Okay. Come to the apartment first, and if I’m not there, head to the station and wait for me.”

  “Okay. I hope he just went to his apartment.”

  “Me too, Kerry. I’ll see you soon.” Traci hung up the phone and watched the roads for any sign of Ryan. She didn’t see him, and as she pulled up to the door of his building, she thought she must have been wrong that he would have come here.

  Traci rang several bells until someone buzzed her in, and pulled open the front door. She walked up to Ryan’s apartment, and saw that the door was standing wide open.

  “Ryan?” she called, putting her hand near her holster in case Ryan’s apartment had been broken into again. “Are you in here?”

  There was no answer, and she walked into the apartment cautiously. Ryan was sitting on the couch staring straight ahead, no emotion on his face, and his eyes looking duller than Traci had ever seen them.

  “Ryan, are you okay?” she asked gently

  Ryan still didn’t respond, and for the first time since entering the place, Traci noticed a white slip of paper on the coffee table in front of Ryan. She picked it up and read it, nearly collapsing onto the couch next to Ryan. The note was a little longer than the others she had seen since she’d met Ryan and the message was much darker: I WARNED YOU. YOU KILLED HIM.

  “Kerry is on her way over,” Traci informed Ryan, hoping to get some kind of response from her catatonic partner. He hadn’t even moved since she’d arrived, and she wanted some sign that he was still with her. When the reaction did come, she jumped.

  Ryan almost jumped out of his seat, and started pacing around the room anxiously. “She needs to stay away. I can’t see her! Don’t let her into the apartment!” he yelled at Traci as he paced.

  “Ryan, what’s wrong? Kerry is concerned. I told her about Frank, and she wants to be here for you. You need to settle down,” Traci pleaded with Ryan. She was surprised—and slightly frightened—when Ryan complied.

  He sat on the couch, his face expressionless, and he spoke in a flat tone. “She needs to stay away from me. I can’t see her right now.”

  “Ryan, I think you need to get some sleep,” Traci said. She hoped some rest would be able to calm Ryan down enough to know that he needed his friends around him, and he would stop pushing them away. He didn’t move, so Traci stood and took his hand, leading him into the bedroom.

  She took his shoes off, and suggested that he remove his belt, since he’d be more comfortable without the gun and other stuff pushing into him as he tried to sleep. He removed it without speaking, and allowed himself to be gently pushed down onto the bed where he curled up as if to protect himself. Traci pulled the sheet over him, and said, “I’ll let Kerry know that you’re asleep. She’ll wait to see you until you’re ready.”

  Traci was interested to see Ryan tensing with the mention of his best friend, but that was his only reaction.

  She walked out of the room slowly, turning to close the door behind her and take one more look at her partner who was already almost asleep. “Feel better, Ryan,” she whispered as she closed the door.

  She went back into the living room and sat on the couch, looking again at the note Ryan had received that day. She also noticed a picture lying face down on the coffee table, and she picked it up to see what it was. She felt tears well up when she saw that it was a Polaroid of Frank’s body just as it had been when they saw it in the bar.

  “Bastard!” she said quietly with considerable heat behind it. Traci felt more than ever that they had to catch the killer quickly.

  Traci realized that she and Ryan hadn’t checked in with the captain since they’d gone to see Matthews, so she called him and explained what was going on.

  “I heard about his uncle. I figured you’d be calling me soon. The two of you have the rest of the week off. Get your partner back on his feet, and report to work on Monday.”

  “That could be difficult,” Traci admitted. She explained how Ryan had been acting since they found his uncle. “He’s practically non-responsive, and he doesn’t even want to see his girlfriend.”

  The captain was silent for a while before replying. “See what he’s like when he wakes up. It might have been the shock of losing his uncle that caused the lack of response. Some people pull away from friends and family when tragedy strikes. Keep me updated on how he’s doing.” Traci agreed, and they ended the call.

  A few minutes after Traci had called the captain, she heard footsteps in the hall coming toward Ryan’s apartment. She stood, placing her hand near the butt of her gun, ready to draw if any threat arose. There was a knock at the door, and she heard a woman’s voice calling, “Ryan? Traci? Are you guys here?”

  Traci pulled the door open, revealing a woman in her mid-twenties who had medium length brown hair and brown eyes that, at the moment, shone with worry for Ryan.

  “You must be Kerry,” Traci said after a moment.

  “You’re Traci?” Kerry asked, looking her over. “Is Ryan here?”

  “He’s sleeping. I’m pretty sure he’s suffering from shock right now, and he didn’t want to talk to anyone. He’s barely spoken since we saw Frank,” Traci said. She didn’t want to tell Kerry what Ryan had said about not wanting her around. She figured it was the shock talking, and that he would want to see Kerry when he woke up.

  Kerry shook her head sadly. “Frank was the only family he had left. He’s going to have nightmares about this now along with everything else,” she said softly.

  “Everything else?” Traci said. “Nightmares? He has them often?”

  Kerry nodded. “From what he’s told me, he has nightmares almost every night. They keep him from getting a decent amount of sleep at night, and he’s been struggling with them since he’s been working on his parents’ case. The more information he gets, the more vivid the dreams become.”

  Traci felt horrible. She had noticed that Ryan looked tired, but she hadn’t thought about the fact that hearing and reading about the details of the murder would be hard for him, even though it had been fourteen years since they had been killed.

  “I didn’t know he couldn’t sleep because of what we were finding out,” she said contritely. “I thought he was staying up to read the files and get more information.”

  “He was doing that too,” Kerry conceded, “but for the most part he wasn’t sleeping because of the nightmares. Now he’s adding Frank’s murder into the mix.” Kerry hesitated before asking, “Did he see Frank’s body?”

  Traci nodded regretfully. “Unfortunately… he and I went into the bar together. I couldn’t get him to wait. He ran in as soon as the car was stopped. He had been hoping the murder that had been called in wasn’t his uncle.”

  “I need to see him,” she said, moving in the direction of the bedroom.

  “Okay, but you need to be quiet. Ryan really needs to sleep right now. He might be more responsive when he wakes up.”

  Ryan looked so young as he slept. Kerry noticed that he was curled to be as small as he could be as if he were trying to hold himself together. Even in sleep, she could tell that he was not completely relaxed.

  “How can you be that tense and be asleep?” Kerry asked quietly as she allowed Traci to lead her into the living room.

  “Was it the stalker?” Kerry asked hesitantly as she and Ryan’s partner sat on the couch.

  Traci only nodded and handed the note to Kerry. She had put the picture in one of the files marked CONFIDENTIAL so Kerry wouldn’t have to see the horrible image.

  Kerry read the message and shivered. “Ryan told me he received a warning. He said it came with pictures of him, Frank, and me, and it warned him to back off. Ryan’s probably blaming himself for Frank’s death, even without this note blaming him. You have to catch this guy, Traci. Ryan can’t deal with much more of this. He’s going to need us now more than ever, even if he doesn’t know it.”

  FIFTEEN

  Ryan woke a couple hour
s later wishing that he had just woken from a nightmare. When he heard Kerry and his partner’s voices, he knew it wasn’t. The stalker had killed Frank, and he had to believe that the psychopath wouldn’t hesitate to kill Kerry as well. I have to get her to stay away from me, at least until this is over. He sighed; she would never agree to leave him for an unknown amount of time. Frank, I wish I could have protected you. You were like a father to me. You didn’t deserve this.

  Ryan felt like he should cry, but he couldn’t. He felt numb and emotionless. As he lay in bed, he realized that he did not even feel anger at the situation. That should have given him some cause for concern, but he just wanted to forget that anything had happened.

  After attempting for a while to get more sleep, Ryan decided it was time to get up and face the two women who were waiting for him. He knew he was going to have to give a statement to the police in charge of his uncle’s case, and he wanted to talk to Traci about it first.

  Before going into the living room where the women were talking, he went into the bathroom to shower and brush his teeth. He was only delaying the inevitable, but the longer he avoided the others, the more he could fool himself that nothing was wrong.

  Kerry and Traci heard Ryan moving around, and thought he would come out of the bedroom to talk to them. They were surprised when instead of seeing Ryan, they heard the shower running.

  “Maybe he didn’t hear us. He might have thought that we left,” Kerry suggested.

  Traci sighed. “He knows we’re here. He’s just taking some time to compose himself before dealing with people”—she held up her hand to stop Kerry’s protest—“right now; he’s not thinking like a grown man. He’s thinking like a hurting and lost little boy who has just lost the man who raised him.”

  Kerry nodded and looked down at her folded hands.

  “I know. I just don’t know how to help him through something like this. Janie would probably know better. She was able to get through to him after his parents were killed.” Kerry looked up suddenly, her hand flying to cover her mouth. “Oh no! I forgot to call Janie! She might not know yet about Frank.”