Lighthouses

by Trost, Cameron

‘Yeah, it’ll really help positively charge your life,’ she said earnestly.

  I smiled at her and agreed. Why not? Placebos still worked fuelled by belief. She came out from behind the counter and headed over to the window. It was then that I noticed she was wearing an ankle-length brown sarong and sandals. The thin fabric showed her arse off very nicely.

  She came back with the lighthouse. It was a real beauty. Whoever had carved it had done so with great attention to detail. This wasn’t just something done to make a bit of cash. It had been lovingly crafted. I said as much to the woman and she beamed at me as if it were her own.

  ‘That’ll be eighty-nine ninety-five.’

  It was a bit more than I had expected, but Mary would love it.

  I didn’t get back to our place for another hour after that. Our daughter Janice was coming around for dinner, and I needed to get some groceries. It was our weekly routine. Mary would go off to have a girl’s night, and our daughter would come over to keep me company. Mary didn’t usually get in till quite late.

  I noticed the car was still in though, so she mustn’t have left yet. I parked alongside it and went on up the front steps with the groceries and the lighthouse in hand.

  Once inside, I called out to her but didn’t get a response. It sounded like she was in the shower.

  Perfect.

  I opened up the box and placed the lighthouse where she’d see it on her way out. There were already a couple of lighthouses on the cabinet by the door, but the crystal one left them for dead. I stood back admiring it for a few moments, then headed off to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. Maybe the girl was right about the positivity. I felt great just looking at it.

  Once I heard Mary turn the shower off, I walked over to the bathroom door. Steam swirled around her naked form, giving me a glimpse of it. She wrapped the towel around herself before I could see her fully. She was still as beautiful to me as the day we met. She smiled at me and drifted off to the bedroom. I could barely contain myself and said, ‘Got a surprise for you.’

  ‘Oh?’ she said, turning her head to face me before entering the bedroom. ‘And what would that be?’ Her eyes were daring me.

  I smiled. ‘It wasn’t that kind of surprise.’

  She pouted. ‘Shame.’ Then turned back around to get ready. ‘Oh well.’

  ‘But if you’d like. . .’ I said.

  ‘Sorry, can’t hear you over the sound of me putting my clothes on,’ she said as she pulled up her underwear.

  ‘I can take them off again pretty easily.’ I laughed.

  ‘Wouldn’t want to bother you, dear,’ she said, slipping the bra over her shoulder and hooking it.

  ‘It would be no trouble at all.’

  ‘Too late,’ she said, wriggling her way into a black dress I’d never seen before. ‘See, all dressed. Zip me up, would you?’ she asked, turning her back to me. I ran my hand over her smooth skin and felt her shiver. A tinge of regret stuck in my throat that I hadn’t insisted. Was it really too late? Maybe if I just pulled her down onto the bed.

  ‘Taking a while there, sweetie. What’re you thinking?’ she asked.

  ‘Oh, just thinking about my chances with you…’

  ‘Sorry, dear, maybe when I get home. Now zip me up.’

  I sighed and zipped her up. She turned around and put her arms out, twirling in her outfit.

  ‘Gorgeous,’ I said. ‘That’s quite a dress. What are you doing with the girls tonight?’

  ‘Oh, the usual dinner party, but you know how the girls are, gotta look your best. It’s a bit of a pissing competition really, but it does give me a chance to dress up.’

  ‘Come on, now that you’re dressed, you can come see the surprise,’ I said excitedly.

  ‘Is it a lighthouse?’ she asked, sitting down at the vanity mirror.

  ‘You’ll see. I’m sure you’ll love it.’

  ‘Can’t wait. Just got to get my makeup on,’ she said as she began her routine.

  ‘Do you want some tea before you go?’

  ‘That’d be great, darling,’ she said, and I went off to make some.

  ‘Now, where’s this surprise?’ she asked, coming into the kitchen. She looked stunning. I sometimes couldn’t believe my luck.

  ‘On the cabinet by the door.’

  She nodded and walked out to have a look. I carried her cup and followed her.

  ‘Oh, it’s beautiful,’ she said, moving toward the lighthouse. ‘I hope it didn’t cost a lot. It’s so fabulous.’ She picked it up tenderly, admiring the details.

  ‘It’s stunning. Much better than the others. We’d better get rid of the other ones at the entrance. No one would bother looking at them anyway.’

  She gave me a peck on the cheek. ‘Thank you, dear.’ she said, putting her free hand to my face.

  ‘Glad you like it,’ I said, and did my best to hug her while not spilling any of the tea. She put the lighthouse back and took her cup from me.

  2.

  I put the meat mallet down when I heard the doorbell, and washed my hands. Janice was standing there in her work uniform. It was a dull grey dress suit which did nothing for her beauty. The only bit of colour on her was the pink streak in her dark brown hair. Something I had told her before would only make her less employable. Since then, she’d gotten a nose piercing, several earrings along the top of her left ear, and a tongue stud. The last resulting in several of her teeth being chipped and giving her a slightly feral appearance. She proved me wrong though, getting a good paying job as a receptionist at a clinic while she was studying to be a nurse. I honestly couldn’t have been prouder of her. I gave her a hug and welcomed her in.

  ‘Hi, dad.’

  ‘Good to see you again.’

  ‘New lighthouse?’ she asked, indicating the crystal structure on the cabinet.

  ‘It’s a beauty, isn’t it? Your mum loved it when she saw it. Made her smile from ear to ear.’

  The memory of this made me smile too. ‘All I’ve ever needed in life is to see your mum smile.’

  Janice patted my shoulder and gave me a sad smile.

  ‘What’s up?’ I asked her.

  ‘Oh, nothing,’ she replied. ‘Just thinking about something at work.’

  ‘Wanna talk about it?’

  ‘Not really,’ she said, and we headed to the kitchen.

  ‘Cuppa?’ I asked her.

  She nodded.

  ‘How ya doing anyway, dad?’

  ‘Work’s keeping me busy. Back’s been giving me a bit of grief. But other than that, I can’t complain.’

  ‘You should get that checked, you know?’ she replied.

  ‘You sound like your mother,’ I chided. ‘Slightest sign of a cough, she wraps me up, and takes me off to the doctor.’

  I was glad to see Janice laugh. She hadn’t done it often lately. Work must have been getting her down.

  ‘She was the same with us when we were kids.’ She smiled. ‘If I wanted a day off school, I just had to sniffle at the breakfast table.’

  I chuckled. ‘I kept on telling her you kids would never grow up strong if we were always taking you to the doctors.’

  I put a cuppa down in front of her and went back to preparing dinner.

  ‘What are we having?’

  ‘Steak, mashed potatoes, and some steamed vegetables.’

  ‘Sounds great, but I’m pretty sure you did that last week, and the week before.’

  ‘Can’t improve on perfection,’ I replied and put the steaks on the cast iron frying pan complete with grill lines. That thing made the best steaks around.

  I served the meal on our old kitchen table. A relic from the seventies. One of those chipboard ones with metal around the rim and thin wooden legs going down at a seventy degree angle. It didn’t look particularly good, but I could never bring myself to throw it out. It was the first table we’d got for the place. Mary had resigned herself to my sentimentality and kept it in the kitchen hidden under papers and books.

  ‘Anythi
ng new?’ I asked.

  ‘Yeah,’ said Janice. ‘I met a guy the other week.’

  ‘You should have brought him around. What’s his name?’

  ‘Jackson.’

  ‘Strong name. When am I going to get to meet him?’

  ‘Bit early, dad. Still testing the waters.’

  ‘Fair enough. Bring him over when you’re ready. What does he do?’

  ‘Oh, he’s an office worker of some kind. Tells me he sits in front of a computer all day.’

  ‘Not good for you that. Take it from me, I’ve had a desk job all my life and it did a number on my back. Tell him he’s got to stretch every twenty minutes or deal with the consequences in old age.’

  ‘You’re not that old, dad.’

  ‘Exactly, and it’s already hitting me. Imagine what I’ll be like when I’m old. Still, met some bloke I thought was older than me. He goes on about his exercise routine and diet. Concludes it by saying, not bad for me age, right? Turns out he’s five years younger than me. Didn’t have the heart to tell him how old I thought he was.’

  ‘By the way, have you spoken to your brother lately? I thought of Andy and his family today while I was shopping. Saw a nice young man with a beautiful wife and kid shopping and thought it was him. Almost ran up to say hello.’

  ‘Andy? Yeah, we spend quite a bit of time together.’

  ‘How’s he doing?’ I asked worriedly.

  ‘Doing well. Jessy and Josh are happy and healthy too.’

  ‘That Jessy was a good find. Good woman to have around.’

  Janice nodded.

  ‘Look, I know I ask every time, but could you talk to Andy for us? We haven’t seen him or his family for going on two years now, and your mum’s beside herself about it. We’ve barely even seen Josh. Andy doesn’t take our calls and Jessy just apologises whenever we get onto her.’

  She grimaced. ‘I’ll try, dad.’

  ‘I just wish I knew what was wrong.’

  ‘It’s hard to say,’ replied Janice.

  ‘You must have some ideas.’ I pleaded.

  She shook her head sadly.

  ‘Dammit, if only I knew!’ I shouted in frustration. Janice stood up, obviously not wanting to continue the conversation, and grabbed the now empty plates. I followed her cue and we cleared the table in silence.

  We retired outside when the meal was finished. ‘Beer?’ I asked.

  ‘Sure.’

  I grabbed a beer from the little fridge we kept under the BBQ. ‘Here, got this one the other day,’ I said, passing her a Hef. The beer had an orange label and a picture of a moustache on it. I sat down and took a sip of my own.

  ‘Not bad,’ she said, looking at the label. ‘Australian? I thought it was a German beer for sure.’

  ‘With a label like that?’ I asked and was pleased to hear another snigger from her. ‘It’s brewed the German way though, so I bet they’d be pleased to hear you thought it was from there.’

  ‘Where’d you get the lighthouse?’ Janice asked.

  ‘You wouldn’t believe the place I found it in. This dinky little store selling crystals, incense, and books written by money vampires.’

  ‘Money vampires?’

  ‘Self-help books based on dead religions. Self-help books are bad enough, you know, but bringing religion into it?’

  ‘Dad, religions are basically the ancient equivalent of self-help books. The two go hand in hand.’

  ‘No, they aren’t, and no they don’t. Religions are all about keeping power. They may look like guides on how to live your life but really they are guides on how to do what we, the people in power, say. Self-help is meant to be a different thing. You think your life is going a bit shit, you read a book about how to make your life better by following some tips from the experts, and boom, you get your life back on track. Bring religion in and instead of experts you’ve got what some guys thought up a few thousand years ago as the source of advice.’

  ‘Religions didn’t die because they are bad belief systems, especially in Europe. Most of them were absorbed or destroyed.’

  ‘Got a point there,’ I conceded. ‘Still, I wouldn’t trust a self-help book based on the religions of Ancient Greece, Rome, or Egypt.’

  ‘Why not? Ancient Greece and Rome made major contributions to Western philosophy.’

  ‘Ha.’ I laughed. ‘Don’t forget the Romans also gave us the Catholic Church. Those advances in philosophy had nothing to do with religion. Their religion was flexible. It didn’t actually explain anything and was just there to keep people entertained. That’s why they could come up with so many new interesting ideas. That’s the real lesson we should be taking from the ancients. Give people time to think about things for themselves and they’ll come up with some interesting and sometimes very impressive ideas.’

  ‘You’re not wrong,’ Janice replied and sipped at her beer thoughtfully.

  ‘Dad,’ she said, and I turned to her, sensing she wanted to talk about something serious. She didn’t say anything for a few moments though. I could see her mind ticking away.

  ‘Dad, perhaps you should stop buying lighthouses for mum.’

  ‘What? Why? Has she said something?’ I worried that I’d been overzealous with my displays of affection. Janice quickly shook her head.

  ‘No, no, I’m just worried about the price. It must be costing you a fortune.’

  ‘Well, today’s purchase wasn’t cheap, but she really loved it.’

  Janice frowned. ‘Sorry, dad. Shouldn’t have mentioned anything.’

  ‘You do know something. Come on out with it.’

  ‘Just promise me you’ll ease off, dad. You’ve bought some pretty gaudy lighthouses,’ she said pointedly, picking up and examining the pink and green clay lighthouse sitting on the table between us.

  I laughed. Mary had smiled and thanked me for that lighthouse but I could tell she didn’t like it much.

  ‘OK. I’ll only get good ones from now on.’

  ‘Not too expensive,’ she chided.

  I laughed again. ‘God, now you’re definitely like your mother.’

  She smiled, although I could tell she still wasn’t at ease.

  ‘Tell me more about you and mum,’ she said, suddenly changing the topic.

  I frowned, not really sure how to answer.

  ‘What do you want to know?’

  ‘I don’t know. What did you do on your first few dates?’

  ‘Is this because of the new boy?’

  ‘Yeah, I suppose. What did you and mum do when you were dating?’

  ‘You may find it hard to believe, but we were both into rock back in the day.’

  ‘Rock?’

  ‘It was an exciting time. Rock music was the new big thing. TV and radio allowed us to see acts from around the world and the big names would even come down under for a tour. We saw Billy Idol, Queen, The Who. You know, I’m kicking myself that I missed out on seeing The Beatles. Of course, I hadn’t met your mum when they were around and I was too young to attend one of their concerts. I thought they’d be around for ever back then. You know, I reckon if I had a time machine, I’d go back and see them perform.’

  ‘You and mum at a concert?’ she asked in disbelief. ‘What did you do? I mean, did you dance or mosh?’ Janice gave a teasing smile.

  ‘Mostly, we were just sitting or standing, I guess. You young ‘uns seem to think you’ve got a monopoly on partying, but people have been partying throughout the ages. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were some head bangers at one of Mozart’s concert.’

  ‘If you were so into rock, how come you didn’t play it much when we were kids?’

  ‘Common knowledge that classical music is better for kids,’ I replied, feigning admonishment.

  We finished our beers and cracked open another one. I looked up at the house as I passed the beer to her.

  ‘We never did get around to building that verandah. Boy, did we have plans for this place.’ I sipped my beer, remembering how excited
Mary and I were when we first bought the place. We went through the place saying what we’d put here and what we’d add there. ‘We were going to have a great big deck out here for entertaining.’

  ‘Why didn’t you?’

  ‘Oh, kids, private schools for you and Andy. Then there were your mother’s hospital bills, although the insurance paid out thankfully.’

  ‘I like the house as it is,’ Janice said. ‘I’ve got a lot of good memories.’ That hint of sadness in her voice again.

  ‘Give me a hand washing up?’ I asked. She nodded and we went back inside, swigging our beers while we cleaned the plates. It didn’t take long. There wasn’t much to clean up.

  ‘Same time next week?’

  ‘Yeah, I’ll try and bring Andy.’

  I nodded and gave her a hug. ‘Drive safe.’

  I looked up at the clock. Nine. Early enough, but I was pretty tired and decided to call it a night. I brushed my teeth and headed to bed.

  Rolling onto my side, I caught sight of a porcelain lighthouse. Correction, the porcelain lighthouse. The one that had started the collection. I ran my fingers over it, following the cracked lines from when it had been smashed on the floor. A change in texture here and there where I had had to fill holes with gum and paint over it. Andy had accidentally knocked it over. He had passed me the pieces in a bag at the time. There had been so many. Mary had even told me not to worry about it, but I managed it, and she was happy to see it. I always felt a little sad looking at it though. I placed it back on the bedside table, and fell asleep. At one point, I awoke, aware of my wife’s presence in the bed alongside me. I rolled over and hugged her to me. She turned her head around to mine and we kissed.

  3.

  A week later, I was in the kitchen preparing dinner when the doorbell rang.

  ‘Honey, can you get that?’ I called to Mary, who was doing a last minute tidy up of the living room. Moments later, I heard the door open and a murmur of voices drift down the hallway. I couldn’t quite make out who it was though. I washed my hands. By some miracle, Janice had managed to convince Andy to come over.

  ‘Oh Janice, hello. You’re early,’ I said, giving her a big hug.

  ‘Hi, dad. Thought I’d give you a hand before the others get here.’