The Game-Kirsten Backhard

by Shawnte Borris

  “Our parents and siblings know, of course, but no, I wanted to wait until you knew.”

  I looked at Liz’s stomach and sat deeper into the couch. A baby…Liz is having a baby.

  “Kirsten, are you okay?”

  “Huh? Yeah.” I looked up at her. “We’re having a baby!” I leaned over to give Liz a huge hug, and then I bent down slightly and whispered to her belly. “Hello, there. This is your other daddy, your much cooler daddy.”

  Liz slapped my shoulder. “Stop that.”

  “What? We both know it’s true. All right, what else do we have planned so far?”

  “Well, we’re getting married at the Catholic church. Brad and I are writing our own vows, and we are having the reception at the hall. Mom got Grace to cater it.”

  “Oh, goodie.” I started clapping. “We’ll have great food. Do you think she’ll make her double-stuffed chicken breast?”

  “Funny, Brad said the same thing.”

  I knew I loved this man for a reason.

  “I also hired Kennedy to plan everything else.”

  “So, what’s left then?”

  “I have you as my bitch of honor, and Caroline, Lanie, and Katie are my bridesmaids.”

  “Lanie? I haven’t seen her in forever. How is she doing?”

  “Great. Remember that bad-ass biker dude?”

  “The tattoo artist who gave us all our sorority tattoos?”

  “That’s him. They got married a few years ago. Now, he owns his own shop, and she helps run it.”

  “And Katie?”

  “Married, two kids, white picket fence, a dog, and she even drives a minivan.”

  “Christ. Thank God you have Caroline in the mix. Otherwise, who the fuck would I drink with?”

  “Funny, smart-ass.” Liz laughed.

  “Who does Brad have as groom-douches?”

  Liz looked at me with her puppy eyes.

  Crap. Drew is in the wedding party.

  “Well, there is something that I wanted to tell…no, talk to you about.”

  “Just say it, Liz. It’s not like us to hold anything back.” I jumped off the couch in fake mockery. “Oh god! You are naming your daughter Sophia, aren’t you?”

  “Huh? What?” Liz looked at me, and then her light went on. “No, smart-ass. Brad wants to ask Drew to be his best man.”

  “I figured. Your puppy eyes gave you away.”

  “Are you okay with this?”

  “Of course. It’s your wedding, and we shouldn’t have it any other way.” Heading into the kitchen, I grabbed the bottle of vodka and took a steep drink.

  “Kirsten?” Liz asked as she followed me.

  “Really, Liz. It’s great. I mean, I’m over it. Drew and I are still friends.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, it was like four months ago, and I’ve had plenty of fish in the ocean…if you get my drift.”

  “I just don’t want it to be awkward.”

  “Nope. No awkwardness here.” I took one more swig before I put the bottle back in the cupboard.

  “I just…I just didn’t want—”

  I cut her off by kissing her cheek. “Everything will be great, sweetheart. Don’t worry about a thing. So, who else is on the douche list?”

  “Derek, Adam, and Steve.”

  “Well, Derek and Steve are out, so I guess that leaves me Adam to bang in the coat closet.”

  “Gross,” we said in sync with a quiver.

  I helped Liz tidy up the kitchen. “Who do you have as your photographer?”

  “Actually, that is a wedding gift from Steve. His partner, Logan, will be taking them.”

  “Cool. So, I finally get to meet Steve’s partner. This should be fun.”

  “Funny that you should mention that. I was hoping we could get away in two weeks and go to New York for some wedding dress shopping. Steve demanded that we stay with him and Logan.”

  “Sounds like a gay old time to me. I’m in.”

  “Great. I’ll let Steve and Logan know. They’ll be so happy.”

  I grabbed two beers out of the fridge. “Here.” I looked at her and then the beer. “Fuck. This sucks.” I put the beers back in the fridge. “Wanna go drink with the boys?”

  “Yes! Ever since Brad found out I’m pregnant, we never leave the house.”

  I rubbed Liz’s belly. “I told you, little fry, that I’d be the fun daddy. I’ll also be the daddy who won’t poke the shit out of your head, trying to get my rocks off, while you’re still in there.”

  Liz slapped my shoulder again. “You know once the baby is here, you won’t be able to talk like that anymore.”

  “Like what? Tell the truth? Let’s get going. I guess you’re the designated driver since you got yourself knocked up and all.”

  “Let me go grab my keys.”

  Liz came back, and we headed out the door.

  As she locked the house, she said, “It’s gonna be different now, isn’t it, Kirsten?”

  I looked at her, and I could see tears forming in her eyes. Fucking hell. The pregnancy hormones have kicked in. “I guess, but it’ll all be good. You’ll see.”

  We got into Liz’s Toyota, and I looked in the back. “You’re gonna need a bigger car.”

  “Brad and I decided that once everyone knows, we’ll shop for an SUV.”

  “Just remember to call me when you are ready to negotiate.” I put on my seat belt.

  Liz put her hand on my knee.

  This means one of two things. One, she is worried about me, or two, she wants to talk about the breakup. Basically, it’s the same thing.

  “Have you heard from Drew since the breakup?”

  “Actually, he sent me a beautiful bouquet of flowers when I first started in Chicago.”

  “Really? How did he find out?”

  “Derek. I had lunch with my brother a few weeks later when he was in town playing the Blackhawks, and he let me know that it slipped.”

  “What did you say to Drew?”

  “I texted him and said thanks, but he shouldn’t have.”

  “What did he say back?”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “That’s it? Nothing more? No apology?”

  “No, and I’m grateful that he kept it short and sweet.”

  “Anything since then?”

  “I had dinner with Drew and Derek the last time I was home. Nothing big. We had burgers at Mic’s, and we pretty much talked about Derek not making the playoffs.”

  “What? You had dinner with him, and you didn’t feel that it was necessary to tell me?”

  “Liz, it wasn’t a big deal. We didn’t really talk. I was there for like forty-five minutes tops, and I made absolutely sure that we had no alone time. Besides hello and good-bye, we didn’t even say two words to each other.”

  “Fine, but you’ll tell me if anything does happen, right?” pleaded Liz.

  “Of course. We’re muff-diver buddies, aren’t we? Now drive woman. I want a drink.”

  “Hey! There’s my baby!” Brad yelled across the bar.

  I looked over to Liz. “There are three of us now,” I said as we walked over to him. “Who are you referring to?” I asked Brad with a smirk.

  “The hot one in the middle,” Brad said before kissing his soon-to-be wife.

  Wife? Liz is going to be a wife and a mother…how very Catholic of her.

  “I’m going to see if I can find Mic.” I walked to the bar, but he wasn’t there. “Excuse me, do you know where I can find Mic?” I asked a waitress.

  “He’s in the storage room. Can I grab you a drink?” asked the waitress.

  “I’m good for now.” My eyes wondered over to where everyone was playing pool. “But take another round to everyone over there and put it on a tab under Kirsten. See the lady in the blue sweatshirt? Please bring her an orange juice with Sprite. She’s the DD for the next nine months.”

  I smiled at Brad and Liz. He sure does treat her like a princess. He was holding her as if she w
ere going to break. Ha! Pussy. He had always been like that though, except when we all could hear them going at it in college. I’d thought we’d see Liz’s head on the other side of the wall at any moment. Good times.

  I headed to the back of the bar. I checked Mic’s office door, but it was locked, so I went and opened the storage room door.

  “Hey, Mic. So, this is where you hide when the riffraff comes through town?”

  He gave me a big hug. “It’s sure good to see you, kid. I’ve missed you.”

  “I’ve missed you, too. What’s new?”

  “Nothing much, sweetheart. Just getting ready to hand over the bar to Ty.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, it’s time to go, so I can enjoy life, travel with the wife, and play with the grandkids.”

  “You think he’s ready?” I probed.

  “Not sure. His wife seems to have mixed emotions about the whole thing.”

  “Why?”

  “Not completely sure to be honest with you.”

  “What if Ty decides that he doesn’t want the bar? Then, what?”

  “I guess I’d look into selling.”

  I placed my hand on Mic’s shoulder. “I hope that it doesn’t come down to that.”

  “Me, too.” Mic took a deep breath.

  I looked around in the storage room. When my eyes landed on the deep freezer, I started laughing.

  “What’s so funny?” Mic asked.

  “Remember the time when Ty and I were making out on top of the freezer and you walked in on us?”

  “Ty just looked at me with the biggest grin. I thought for sure that you would have been my daughter one day.”

  “Well, he kind of destroyed that in high school.”

  “He did,” Mic confirmed.

  Mic sat on an old milk crate and patted his hand on the one beside him. “Come and sit. Tell me what’s new with you. It’s been a while since we were able to catch up.”

  I walked over, grabbed a bottle of vodka off the shelf, and sat beside him. I played with the bottle in my hands for a bit.

  “Are you going to open it or manhandle it all night?”

  I looked over at Mic and half-smiled. Then, I opened the bottle and took a swig.

  “Kirsten, you look…well, you look like shit.”

  “I’ve been swamped at work. I guess the stress of it has gotten to me this week.”

  “Work is going good though, right?”

  “Yeah, I love it. I couldn’t imagine doing anything else,” I said with pride in my voice.

  “How’s the love life?”

  So, you are going with the big guns, are you, Mic? “That department is good. No complaints here,” I answered, trying to fluff off this conversation.

  “Lying doesn’t look good on you, child.”

  I eyed Mic and let out a big sigh.

  “I know, Kirsten…and I also know that things aren’t as they appear.”

  I was stunned. I was sure my eyes were all bulged out as my chin dropped to the floor. How the hell does he know? If he knows, does that mean Derek knows?

  “Don’t look at me like I’m stupid, child.”

  “I-I’m…I’m…”

  “Heartbroken,” he replied.

  I finally started crying. “How did you know?”

  “I’ve been watching you grow up for the last seventeen years. As creepy as it sounds, kid, I know your every move, and your eyes have never been able to lie.”

  “So, you know it was me who puked in your truck that night we all went to the river after the boys won the football championship?”

  Mic laughed and grabbed the bottle of vodka out of my hands. He took a big swig. “Knew all along.”

  “Sorry about that.”

  “Not as sorry as Ty. I made his punk ass clean it.”

  “He deserved it, that cheating ass.”

  Mic nodded his head. “That and more. I’m sorry he did that, Kirsten. His mother and I did not raise him to be that kind of man.”

  “No need to apologize. It was high school.” I leaned over and shoved his shoulder. “That ship has sailed long ago. Besides, look at what he missed out on.”

  We both sat there in silence, and I kept drinking. God, this stuff is smooth. “Can I ask you a question, Mic?”

  “Always.”

  “How did you know about Drew and me?”

  “I saw it coming before you did. The two of you are like magnets just pulling to one another.”

  “And here I thought that we did a good job of hiding it.” I snorted.

  “Maybe to everyone else. There are three professionals in this world who people are very open and honest to—one being a therapist, two being a hairdresser, and three is the bartender. I know more about this community than I ever wish to know. I know people’s dirty little secrets—who’s cheating on whom, who enjoys dirty sex, and who the swingers are.”

  My head snapped up. “Swingers?”

  Mic shook with laughter. “I knew that would grab your attention.”

  “Mic, I don’t know where I went wrong.” I took another swing of the almost half-empty bottle. My lips and fingers are numb. “I thought that I was good enough. I work hard. I made a name for myself. I played the devoted girlfriend and supported him. I gave him space when I thought he needed it.” I took another drink. “I can sure pick winners, huh?”

  Mic took the bottle from my hands. “I think I should take this away from you.”

  I wiped the tears that were falling down my face.

  “Don’t cry, sweetheart. Oh geez, I’ll give you the bottle back.”

  I did an unladylike sniff. “It’s not that. Liz and I were supposed to be getting married together and having babies together…and now, look at me.” I started to cry even harder.

  “If Liz were in here, she would kick your ass for crying for yourself.”

  “I know. I don’t even know why I’m doing it anymore. I have more self-respect than this.”

  “Have you talked to Drew?”

  “No. What is there to talk about? I saw him, Mic. I saw him at the hotel, and I heard him with her.” Oh god, the banging of the bed. Ugh, I just want to throw up. I clutched my stomach.

  “I still think you should hear him out,” Mic argued.

  “Why? So, I can hear him make excuses for himself. No, thanks. Besides, it’s too late anyway.”

  “It’s never too late.”

  I looked over at Mic before I started to get up. “Whoa.” I steadied myself, grabbing on to the shelves. “I think I had my share of vodka tonight during our heart-to-heart.”

  “What do you mean by it’s too late?”

  I shrugged my shoulders as I tried to get my balance back. “I have moved on. No more being the sappy girl who people walk all over. I’ve decided to be the woman who I am at the negotiating table. I’m living life like a man…with no consequences.” I raised my hand in a cheering salute.

  “What have you done?” questioned Mic.

  I squared my shoulders before I headed over and opened the door. “I did what any other man would do.” I walked out the door and headed toward the pool tables where I’d last seen everyone.

  “Where in the hell have you been?” asked Liz.

  “Drinking with Mic in the storage room,” I slurred.

  “Holy shit, Kirsten. How drunk are you?”

  “Very.” I felt someone standing behind me.

  “Have you been crying?” Liz asked.

  “No…” I felt a tingle go down my spine, and that only meant one thing. Drew was standing behind me. I saw the look on Liz’s face, and that confirmed it for me.

  Drew leaned into me and whispered in my ear. “Hello, Kirsten.”

  “Drew?”

  “Can we talk?”

  I slowly turned around to face him. He looks good and smells even better. “Sure. If it’s about the weather or work, then absolutely. If you want to talk about us or how there is no us, then no.”

  As I started to walk toward
the bar, I heard Liz say, “If you would just…”

  I turned and glared at her. Do not cross that line.

  “Maybe it’s time…” she continued.

  “Maybe it’s time for nothing,” I seethed.

  I looked over at Drew. “I’m over it. If you want to be friends, then that’s great with me. Help me bring some drinks over from the bar to celebrate the baby who’s on the way.”

  Instantly, he dropped his eyes to my stomach.

  “Really? You think that little of me? You think I’d be drinking if I were pregnant? You fucking ass!” I shouted.

  When I turned toward the bar, I could swear that I heard Drew whisper under his breath, “Wishful thinking.”

  Ignorant ass!

  I grabbed another drink and stood on a chair to make a toast. “To Liz and Brad—may your bed never be cold, may you always share your fears with each other…” I paused, glancing at Drew. “And may you always be honest.”

  I slurped back my drink and got down off the chair to find another one.

  Someone grabbed my arm and slid the glass out of my hand. “I think that you have had enough.”

  I tried to see who it was, but the room was slightly swaying. The person was a tad bit too blurry, so I couldn’t figure out who it was. “Nope. I need at least one more.” I grabbed the empty glass back. “We need to toast…” Leaning in, I whispered, “Liz and Brad are having a baby. Liz is having a baby without me.” I felt a tear slip down my cheek. I placed my head on a chest, and I started crying.

  The blurry figure rubbed my back. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Kirsten.”

  I looked up. “There is nothing to apologize for. I did this to myself,” I said, wiping away my tears.

  Hands were on the sides of my face. “No, I did this…sweetheart, and I will fix it.”

  “Can’t be fixed. It hurts too much.”

  Besides when I’d had a burger with her and Derek, this was the first time that I’d seen Kirsten. I was hoping the devastation that I had seen in her eyes that day softened a little. I knew that I’d hurt her, but I didn’t realize how deep it went. I’m such an asshole. How do I fix this? How do I get her to listen to me?

  God, she takes my breath away. She looked absolutely beautiful in her tight blue jeans and baggy sweatshirt with her hair swept up into a loose ponytail. Fuck, I got it bad…describing her like she belongs in a romance novel.