The Game-Kirsten Backhard

by Shawnte Borris

  “Go easy on her tonight. This is the first time you’ve seen her in a while. Don’t be surprised if she tells you to fuck off,” said Brad.

  “Great,” I scowled. “How the fuck am I going to fix this shit? It feels like every time I move, the hole in my heart feels like it’s getting bigger and bigger.”

  “I don’t know, man.” Brad shrugged his shoulders. “I guess getting her to talk to you is the first step. Getting her to not cut off your balls is the second and the most important step.”

  “What about believing me?”

  “You are on your own there. You know how stubborn she can be.”

  I looked at Liz, letting her know I was waving the white flag. She looked over at me and half-smiled. I wasn’t sure if she felt sorry for me because she knew I’d have no balls by the end of the night or if she was genuinely sad for me.

  After talking with Derek and Mic about Kirsten that night months ago, I’d headed over to Brad and Liz’s the next night. I’d told them everything that had happened. I’d been surprised that I was even allowed back in the house. I’d been sure that if Liz had her way, she would have stabbed and gutted me. I’d told them how much I loved Kirsten, how I wanted to get her back, and how I wanted to ask her to marry me. Liz had said that she would support me but only to a certain point because she would never leave Kirsten’s side. I had known what she really meant. I would be allowed in the same room as Kirsten, but as soon as Kirsten raised her voice or shed a tear, my balls would be gone. No questions would be asked.

  I saw Kirsten rounding the corner from the storage room and followed her swaying towards the pool tables.

  “Where in the hell have you been?” asked Liz.

  “Drinking with Mic in the storage room,” Kirsten slurred.

  I miss her cute little slur.

  “Holy shit, Kirsten. How drunk are you?”

  I couldn’t help myself. It had been so long since I had been in the same room as her. I just wanted to breathe in her sent and touch her, so I stepped up right behind her.

  “Very.”

  Now standing behind her, I reached out my hand toward her.

  “Have you been crying?” Liz asked.

  “No…” Kirsten said.

  I let my fingers slide down her ponytail. I knew she felt my touch when I saw her tremble. At least I knew that I still had an effect on her. Not all is lost and forgotten.

  “Hello, Kirsten,” I whispered into her ear.

  “Drew?”

  “Can we talk?”

  She turned around and squared her shoulders, putting up her defenses.

  Fuck! She is not going to make this easy…not that she should.

  “Sure. If it’s about the weather or work, then absolutely. If you want to talk about us or how there is no us, then no.”

  Kirsten started walking toward the bar.

  Liz turned to me. “If you would just…”

  Kirsten instantly glared at Liz.

  Oh shit, this is bad.

  “Maybe it’s time…” Liz continued.

  “Maybe it’s time for nothing,” Kirsten sneered.

  Kirsten looked over at me with the fakest eyes I’d ever seen.

  “I’m over it. If you want to be friends, then that’s great with me. Help me bring some drinks over from the bar to celebrate the baby who’s on the way.”

  Instantly, my eyes dropped to her stomach. Really? A baby? We made a baby?

  Her high-pitched yell brought me back. “Really? You think that little of me? You think I’d be drinking if I were pregnant? You fucking ass!”

  “Wishful thinking,” I mumbled to myself under my breath.

  I watched as Kirsten made her way around the bar, saying hello to people who she hadn’t seen in a while. With every handshake and hug she was giving out, I was getting madder and madder. How dare she let other men hug her!

  “No punches in the bar tonight,” Mic said, heading my way.

  “No worries there, Mic. I’m trying to fix one fuck-up. I don’t need another.”

  “She’s as broken as Derek said.” We both looked over at Kirsten laughing with Liz. “She thinks it’s her fault.”

  “What?” How does she…what?

  “The situation with my son back in high school doesn’t help you out either.”

  Great. “I forgot all about that.” Now, she probably thinks she picks losers for men. “I’m going to get her back, Mic. She’s the one for me.” She can cook. She gets along with everyone. She’s intelligent, and she takes no shit, which apparently will not work in my favor anytime soon. She somehow finds me amusing. She doesn’t act like she is always right, and she gives me space when I need it, even when I don’t. “I love her, Mic. I love her more than anything.”

  “Sounds to me like you have a big fight on your hands, son.”

  “How do I get her to listen to me, Mic? How can I make her understand that she means everything to me?”

  Mic shook his head. “First, I suggest you get her to stop drinking. If she keeps this up, she’ll be hurting for a week.”

  Kirsten was now standing on a chair with a raised glass. She was capturing everyone’s attention.

  “To Liz and Brad—may your bed never be cold, may you always share your fears with each other…” She paused, looking over at me. “And may you always be honest.”

  That’s it. She is going to damn well listen to me even if she kills me in my sleep.

  I walked over to her and took the glass out of her hand. “I think that you have had enough.”

  “Nope. I need at least one more.” She snatched the glass back. “We need to toast…” She got closer to me. “Liz and Brad are having a baby. Liz is having a baby without me,” she whispered.

  I could see tears forming in her eyes. Another thing to add to the apology list. Kirsten had defeat written all over her.

  She leaned forward and placed her head on my chest as she started crying.

  I rubbed her back. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Kirsten.”

  She looked up. “There is nothing to apologize for. I did this to myself.” Kirsten wiped away her tears.

  I placed my hands on the sides of her face. “No, I did this…sweetheart, and I will fix it.”

  “Can’t be fixed. It hurts too much.”

  I could feel her shoulders starting to rumble with tears.

  “Please, Derek, just take me home,” she whispered.

  I lifted her into my arms and started walking toward the exit.

  “Where the hell do you think you are taking her?” Liz seethed in her tiny five-foot-three body.

  “Home.”

  “Oh, I don’t think so.”

  Brad walked up behind Liz and wrapped his arms around her waist.

  Thank God. I knew that at any second Liz’s claws would come out, and I had no way to defend myself. After finally having my soul mate in my arms, there was no way in hell that I would ever let go again.

  “Baby, they need to talk. This might be his only way in,” said Brad.

  I gave him a quick nod, thanking him.

  “No! She’s not ready!” Liz barked.

  “She needs this…you need this.”

  I looked over to Liz. Liz needs this?

  “You are going to pay, Drew Parker! Do you hear me?” Liz grabbed her purse and stormed out of the bar.

  Brad shook his head. “Fuck.”

  “I’m sorry. I just need Kirsten to listen,” I said to Brad while lifting Kirsten up a little.

  “I know. When Kirsten hurts, Liz hurts. Just hurry up and fix this shit, man. I’m tired of my fiancée worrying.”

  Brad held the front door for me to pass through with Kirsten, and then he followed me to my SUV.

  After he opened the passenger door, he asked, “What’s with the dimples on the hood of your truck?”

  “Derek.”

  “I take it he did it the night you two talked?”

  “Yeah, it was better than my face,” I joked.

 
“He still might do that when he finds out you kidnapped his sister tonight.”

  “I don’t think so. We have a plan.”

  “What’s the plan?”

  “Me getting Kirsten back,” I replied simply. Knowing I caused him some problems tonight, I said, “Look, my back deck door is open if you need a place to stay tonight.”

  “Nah, I’m good. Here’s to hoping for great make-up sex.”

  I laughed. “Good luck. I think you’ll need it.”

  Brad ran his hand over his chest. “See this, buddy? No luck needed here. Besides, now that she’s pregnant, Liz is always horny.” He walked over to his truck and hopped in, heading home to do damage control.

  I shook my head while I watched him drive away. Then, I placed Kirsten in the passenger seat as delicately as I could.

  As I reached out to pull the seat belt over her, she mumbled, “I miss him. I miss him so much.”

  I kissed the top of her head. “I know, baby. I miss you like crazy, too.”

  After closing her door and walking around the car, I climbed into the driver’s seat. When I got in, Kirsten immediately leaned over and laid her head on my shoulder. I couldn’t help myself watch her sleep. I wrapped my arm around her, and I looked at her vulnerability unfold in front of me as her body started to relax.

  She began to whimper little things. “I’ve done…I’m sorry…I want…”

  I whispered in her ear, “What is it, baby? Tell me.” I wanted more than anything for her to trust me again. I wanted to be the one who she could lean on and depend on at the end of the day.

  “A cheeseburger,” she answered.

  I tried to stifle my laugh as I settled her back into the seat before I drove her home.

  I sat in the chair across from her bed most of the night, just watching her sleep. The sun was starting to peek through her window, shining brightly on her face. She looks like an angel. Here I go again—all romantic novel.

  I went to the bathroom and washed up. Then, I headed to the kitchen and grabbed an Advil and orange juice for her. I left them by her bed, thinking she’d need it when she woke up. Back in the kitchen, I started making her favorite chocolate chip pancakes. I was just putting on the finishing touches on the breakfast nook when I heard the sound of Kirsten turning on the shower.

  After a while, she walked toward the kitchen. “Derek, thanks for bringing my drunk ass home last night. Mic and his stupid storage room. Hey, where are you? Dude, you made pancakes?”

  I stayed hidden back in the nook, hoping that she would give a little something more about what she had talked about with Mic.

  I slowly walked around the corner and leaned against the door frame. “Morning.”

  She just stood there, saying nothing.

  I wish she’d do something…yell, slap me…anything. Just something other than this happy-go-lucky-friendship shit, she tried at the bar. I waited a few more minutes before I tried again. “Good morning, sweetheart.” I could see her take a deep breath in.

  “Why are you here? Where’s my brother?”

  “I brought you home.” I went over to her and put my hand on her arm. “Kirsten.”

  Kirsten flinched immediately. “Don’t fucking touch me.” She whipped her body around, making me jump back a bit. “You do not get to touch me after touching her.”

  She’s on fire. Now, we’re getting somewhere.

  “Drew, you’re fucking pushing me by just being here. Never mind the fact that I’m fighting the urge to chop off your dick.”

  “Don’t worry. After what I pulled off last night, I’m sure Liz will do that later today.”

  “What did you do?” she seethed at me.

  “Let’s just say I’m sure that Brad slept on the couch.”

  “So, not only did you manage to drain us dry, but you do it to other couples, too?”

  “Kirsten, that’s not really fair. I just wanted to make sure you got home safe.” I just want you near me again. “And we need to talk.”

  “Talk? I guess you should have talked to me before I left for Chicago.”

  Kirsten poured herself a cup of coffee, and I opened the fridge to grab the creamer. I poured some in her cup just the way she likes it.

  “You need to go,” Kirsten said.

  “Please.” I looked toward the nook. “Let’s have breakfast.”

  “No!” She took in another deep breath.

  I could see the shield starting to go up again. No, baby, not this time. I walked over to her, put her coffee on the counter, and wrapped my arms around her. I felt her struggle against me.

  “Get off of me. Get the fuck away from me, Drew.”

  “No, you need to hear what I have to say.” I felt her starting to cry as she pounded on my chest, trying to get away. “Please, baby, don’t cry. I can’t handle that you are crying, and I caused it.”

  “You did this! I’m a mess because of you.” She took a step back and angrily wiped away her tears.

  This woman is so fucking stubborn. Breathe, man. Breathe before you lose your cool. I took a few steps back and pulled the chair away from the table. “Please…just sit and have breakfast with me and listen. I know I don’t deserve it, but I need you to listen. Please.”

  “Fine, but only because I need to soak up some of that vodka I drank last night. As soon as you’re finished talking, you are leaving.” She came over and grabbed a few pancakes.

  Thank God. I didn’t have any other plans for what else I could do.

  After a few silent pancakes, I whispered, “I didn’t sleep with her.”

  Kirsten’s fork dropped on the plate, but I kept going.

  “It’s not what you think.” I looked up into her eyes. “God, Kirsten, I would never…” I stopped when I noticed that she was looking green. “Kirsten, are you going to throw up?”

  She instantly got up with her hand covering her mouth and ran to the bathroom.

  Could this get any worse?

  I went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water and two anti-nausea pills before joining her in the bathroom. I pulled Kirsten’s hair out of the way while she forced out whatever she had left in her stomach. She wrapped her arms around the seat and placed her head on top.

  As I rubbed circles around her back, I began telling her everything that had happened. “I went to Mic’s with Derek, Adam, and a few of the other guys. We all got pretty loaded. That was when I ran into Chrissy. I could barely stand…never mind. Anyway, she offered me a ride home. When I went to pay my tab with Mic, he offered to let me sleep it off on his couch in the office, or he was going to call me a cab. I told him I was fine and that Chrissy was going to give me a ride home.”

  Kirsten was now sitting up on the floor with her back against the vanity. Crying into a towel, she whispered, “Please don’t tell me anymore.”

  I placed my hand on her knee, “Sweetheart, I have to. I need you to know everything. If this is the only chance that I have with you, then I need to know that I did my best.”

  I noticed her knuckles getting whiter as she clutched the towel tightly.

  “I should have taken Mic up on his offer. I was wrong, so dead wrong. Mic tried to get me to think about what I was doing, but I just didn’t have enough smarts in me to put two and two together.” I took a deep breath. “Derek didn’t know about any of this until we talked a few weeks ago.”

  “Derek knows?”

  I could see the embarrassment on her face.

  “Don’t worry. He understands why we kept it from him. I’m not saying that he isn’t hurt by our decision to keep it from him, but he’s not mad.” I held her hand with mine.

  “You do realize that we have that twin thing, right? He knew something was up,” she replied. “That’s why I kept my distance from him.”

  “He said something about that, too. He said he’d have a conversation with you about all of this later.” Still holding her hand, I slid my back down against the side of the tub. I wanted more contact with her during the next pa
rt even if that meant our hands and knees were the only things touching. We looked into each other’s eyes. God, this next part is going to kill me.

  “When I came to, I realized that she hadn’t taken me home and that she had taken me to that hotel. I tried and tried to get off the bed, I swear, but I couldn’t. I kept hitting the side tables. I even broke the lamp.” I took a deep breath. Okay, she is still with me. “Chrissy kept pushing me back onto the bed, and she tried undoing my pants. Finally, I managed to make it to the door. I remember her laughing when I almost fell through the door, trying to escape her nasty claws, and then I saw you at the elevator, just looking at me…like you were fucking crushed.”

  I placed both of my hands on top of her knees. She was now in a deep sob, shaking her head back and forth.

  “Please, baby, talk to me.”

  “I can’t.”

  I went to give her a hug, but she put out her arm to hold me in place.

  “You don’t understand, Drew. I didn’t know…”

  “I know, sweetheart, but—”

  “Drew…I slept with someone else.”

  What? What did she just say? I can’t breathe. I gotta get out of here.

  “There was more than one. There was two.”

  I knew that she was looking at me, but I just couldn’t look at her, knowing another man—fuck!—other men had touched her. I can’t believe this.

  “I can’t…I can’t believe this,” I whispered. I stood up and started walking out the door.

  “Please, Drew…please…don’t leave me again.”

  But I couldn’t turn back.

  “Can you pass me the jam, please?” I sulked.

  “Baby…” Brad grabbed my arm and pulled me onto his lap. “Just wait. Let her call you. We don’t know what is going on over there or even if anything is going on. Drew might have just dropped her off and went home.”

  I raised my eyebrow at him. Seriously? You think that?

  Brad nuzzled his nose against mine. “Okay, you’re probably right. Still, just wait. She’ll call when she’s ready.”

  I kissed his nose. “All right,” I pouted.

  Brad laughed. “Don’t pout. I know something that we can do to occupy our time.”

  “Really? And what would that be?” I asked sarcastically.