If I Could I'd Wish It All Away (I Wish Book 1)

by Lisa Helen Gray

  “I’ll check on you in a little bit.”

  I nod at Lorelei and make my way out of the store, finding an empty seat. Overhead, clouds start rolling in, and I pray it doesn’t start raining. It’s not something we planned since it was meant to stay dry all day, but with British weather, you never know what you’ll get.

  Sid’s band is introduced on stage by Pagan, her smile wide and full of fondness for her dear twin brother. You can tell how proud she is by the tone in her voice.

  Then he steps up to the mike, the first beat to the melody booming through the speakers before his voice soars through and I’m lost. It’s hypnotising, smooth and the song is an original, one of their own. It’s soft like a lullaby, right up until the rest of the band joins in, and the beat picks up.

  “They’re good, aren’t they?” Pagan beams from beside me, causing me to jump.

  “They’re brilliant,” I answer honestly, my head swaying side to side with the beat.

  “How is everything going? Hey, are you okay? You look a little pale.”

  “I’m good. I think I’m just sick with nerves. I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. I think all the excitement has overwhelmed me a little,” I admit.

  “I know the feeling. I can’t believe how many people turned up. I think the adults are having as much fun as the kids.” She giggles and we both eye a group of moms getting their faces painted.

  “It’s been successful. You should be proud. You’ve done a great job,” I tell her, squeezing her hand.

  “We did a great job,” she corrects, and I roll my eyes. The woman has done most of the work. She deserves more than I could ever give her. Secretly, I think she just likes bossing everyone around.

  “Yeah, yeah.”

  She opens her mouth to say something when someone calls her name. She huffs out a breath and rolls her eyes.

  “I’m being summoned,” she mutters. “I’ll check in soon.”

  “Have fun,” I call out, waving. Once she’s gone, I slump into the chair, feeling my stomach tighten.

  *** *** ***

  A few hours pass and I’m sitting back down after running round helping to keep things flowing smoothly. Sid and his class are singing B.O.B’s ‘Airplanes’. Everyone is transfixed, listening to their harmony, the song much slower than the original. Sid is an amazing teacher and the kids clearly love him. Not one has been rude, stuck-up or tried to sabotage the show. They’ve all looked up to him, hanging on his every word.

  My stomach isn’t any better, and I’m starting to feel a little light-headed. It started to become worse once the crowd picked up; every step I take, I’m bumping into someone. I’m just glad I’ve managed this long without having a panic attack. I don’t do crowds at all, but large ones like this? Well, my sickness says it all.

  I look down at my phone to see if Dean has got back to me, but there’s still no word. I’ve tried calling Lily and Mark but both their phones just ring out.

  Needing to call Dean before I lose my mind, I unlock my phone, but before I can dial his number, a light tap on my shoulder distracts me.

  Turning around, I see a young boy of around fourteen shifting nervously, his cheeks red.

  “Hey there, can I help you?” I ask.

  “Are you Miss Lola?” he asks, and I smile wide. He’s so adorable, with sandy blonde hair and dark hazel eyes. He’s a few inches smaller than I am, wearing the music T-shirt with the school logo and plain denim jeans.

  “Yes, that’s me. Is everything okay?”

  “Miss Pagan, Mr Salvatore’s sister said to come and ask you if you could grab the box of leaflets out of her car. She said she would go herself but she’s in the middle of talking to some potential clients. But if you’d like, I can go and get them from her car. You can trust me. I’m here with Mr Salvatore. I’m one of his students. My name’s Alec. I guess I should have said that first, huh? He said we have to stay and help,” he rambles, his face becoming redder. He looks so embarrassed to talk to me, and it’s kind of cute.

  “Hi Alec.” I smile. “If you wait here, I’ll grab the keys from my office and then we’ll walk round and get them. Is that okay?”

  “Yes, that’s fine.”

  “Don’t move. I’ll be five minutes tops,” I warn him, not wanting to get one of Sid’s students lost.

  “I promise, Miss Lola.”

  I nod, and walk off, smiling wide as I think what a gentleman he is. Most kids his age would have gone off and done their own thing, no matter what their teacher said, so for him to help and actually look like he wants to be there is respectable.

  Outside the store, I try to get through the line of people, but the place seems too crowded. Looking through the window, I notice Lorelei, Jeremy, and a few more volunteers than there were there earlier are all busy serving and clearing up.

  Hiring a few more staff members will be the first thing I do tomorrow.

  Taking one last look at the crowd of people, I sigh and head around back.

  The alley is colder in the shade, and a chill runs up my spine. The darkened sky and brick overhead leaves little light in the small area.

  There’s a tingle at the back of my neck I sense someone watching me. My stomach twists and the impulse to run is strong. Unlike the other times, I actually feel someone nearby, and it makes my skin crawl.

  The nausea I’ve had on and off all day has returned, but this time, there’s an uneasy feeling churning inside my stomach.

  Feeling compelled, I look back down the alley and find it empty. That sense of dread hits me hard, and I quicken my pace to the back. My eyes only do a quick scan of the car park since my heart is racing and my mind is screaming at me to run, that danger is lurking.

  Rushing over to the back door, I nearly sigh with relief. Grabbing the handle, the voices on the other side give me a sense of safety, and I go to push open the door.

  But a sharp pain in the back of my head knocks me to my knees. Before I can register what’s happening, a shooting pain in my right arm has me blacking out.

  The last thing I remember is reaching out in front of me, trying to beg for help, but no sound coming out.

  CHAPTER 29

  TWO HOURS EARLIER

  DEAN

  The car skids to a stop outside the main cabin where Dad is waiting for me. His face is pinched with worry, and a furious look fills his expression.

  When he called me, he only said something bad had happened, that I needed to get home quick and not mention anything to Lola. That said everything. If I couldn’t tell her, then it was most likely something to do with her.

  I don’t wait to turn the car off before I’m jumping out, looking at my dad for answers.

  “What’s going on, Dad?”

  “Your cabin’s been ransacked, son. It’s a complete mess. I’ve called the police, but it’s whenever they get time to get out here with everything going on in town.”

  “C’mon, let’s see what’s missing. It could be kids, Dad. Shit. Lorelei just moved in there,” I hiss. That girl has already been through a lot, she doesn’t need to feel unsafe, not now.

  “Son, it wasn’t your old place. It was yours and Lola’s.”

  “C’mon. You drive. I’m gonna call in a favour.” Getting in the car, I grab my phone and text Cage.

  DEAN: Mate, I need you at Cabin Lake, cabin 24A. Urgent.

  CAGE: On my way.

  Arriving at the cabin, I only have to step out the car to see what my dad was talking about.

  “Did you go in?” I ask.

  “No, I called you straight away.”

  “Good.” I stand in the doorway, my eyes doing a quick sweep of the mess. The place has been turned upside down, my laptop and Lola’s Kindle on the floor completely smashed to pieces. Whoever did this did it in anger, in rage. Dread fills my stomach, and I take a seat outside, waiting for Cage and the other officers to come.

  “Where’s Mom?”

  “Back at the cabin worried sick. I told her to stay there wit
h the doors locked until I get back. I didn’t want to risk the person still being around.”

  I nod, running a frustrated hand through my hair. “C’mon, hurry up,” I curse, anxiety building inside me.

  “Keep it together, son.”

  “I don’t know, Dad. I have a bad feeling about this. Something is telling me to go get Lola.”

  “Son, she’s surrounded by hundreds of people. Nothing is going to happen to her.”

  I nod, knowing he’s right. “Yes.”

  *** *** ***

  Nearly two hours later and the police still haven’t come out and given me anything. We aren’t allowed in there while they take fingerprints and whatnot. I’m just glad Cage and his partner are here because I’m about to lose my shit.

  “Cage!” I shout inside the doorway, earning a few glares from some officers. I narrow my eyes, not caring.

  Lola has called and texted a few times. I hate that I’ve ignored her, but I didn’t want to have to lie to her again. It’s one of the things I promised never to do.

  “Hey, Dean. We’re almost done, but you can come in.”

  “About time.” He raises his eyebrow at me. “Sorry, I’m just stressed. Did you find anything?”

  “Yes but first, has anything gone missing?” he asks.

  “No. Not that I could tell from looking in the doorway, anyway. You can see my laptop and Lola’s Kindle from here. Whoever broke in wasn’t after anything valuable,” I say, frustrated.

  “We know. I just needed to make sure. I need you to keep it together, but we found something, and it’s not going to be easy to hear,” he starts and my gut clenches.

  “Tell me,” I growl.

  He gestures for me to follow him and when he walks into mine and Lola’s bedroom, a sick I find it hard to keep it together as promised.

  He turns to me before I make it fully into the room, trying to block me from seeing something. However, I catch a glimpse of Lola’s clothes everywhere, and I look to my dad in horror.

  “Calm down,” he whispers. My fists clench and I breathe through my nose.

  “We’ve had to bag some lingerie and take it to the lab. Whoever this person was is sick and twisted, and left you a present as such.” He winces, and I know what he’s trying to say.

  I turn around, punching a hole through the door. I don’t feel the pain or care I’m getting blood everywhere.

  Why didn’t I see this fucking coming?

  “Is there anyone who would want to hurt you or the other occupant of the house, Dean?”

  “Yeah,” I croak out, pulling the ends of my hair. “Fuck.” My roar echoes around the room and my dad steps forward, ready to restrain me if need be.

  I grab my phone and dial Lola’s number but it rings out, and I start pacing, cursing.

  “What am I missing?” Dad asks.

  I curse again, turning to both of them. “It’s Rick. Lola’s ex is crazy. He beat her, raped her and has punished her for leaving before. It’s him. We’ve been keeping tabs on him, but eight weeks ago we lost all contact, and no one has been able to find him since,” I explain.

  “Fuck!” Cage curses then takes out his phone before turning to me. “I need a name and description.”

  I do one better, taking my work phone from my pocket and opening the folder I have on him. The picture of Rick loads first, along with his name, height, address and date of birth. Cage calls it in, walking away a little.

  As soon as he does I lose my shit, a primal roar rumbling from my chest when I see the bed, Rick’s present is soaking into it.

  “Oh fuck,” Dad says, face pale.

  “Call Dwayne,” I tell him, trying Lola one more time. “Why isn’t she fucking answering?”

  “Pagan isn’t answering either, son, but it could be because they can’t hear their phones.”

  “No. Something’s happened. I can feel it. Cage, see if there are any uniforms close to Diamond Street and get them to check on a Lola Lawson. She’s not answering, and neither is my sister or Brooke, her best friend.”

  “Sid isn’t either,” Dad informs me.

  Tears of panic surface and I try to lock them down.

  “We need to go. Cage, do you have your patrol car?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  “I need you to get me over there as quick as you can,” I tell him, knowing he can break every law to get us there quicker.

  He nods and gives orders to the remaining officers. Dad calls Mom, letting her know what’s happening and that he’ll call if there are any changes.

  *** *** ***

  Half way to Lola’s the police radio cackles and my face pales.

  “This is dispatch. We need immediate backup over Carnal Street on the car park.”

  Cage looks over at me, seeing my pale complexion. “Isn’t that…?”

  “Yeah, it’s the car park at the back of Lola’s,” I whisper as my heart plummets to the ground.

  Cage puts his foot down, and I’m thrown back in my seat. Dad’s phone rings and he answers, sounding relieved but then I hear, my sister and all hope I had disappears.

  “Calm down. We’re pulling up now. Everything is going to be okay,” he says, but my sister keeps crying on the other end, loud enough for Cage and me to hear.

  “C’mon,” Cage says as he pulls to a stop.

  I’m out first, leaving Dad and Cage behind. Rushing over to the car park that’s taped off, I see Pagan with a young lad crying in her arms, looking pale and scared.

  What the fuck!

  I duck under the tape, and a police officer steps forward, trying to stop me. “Sir, you can’t go back there. It’s a crime scene.”

  “Like fuck I can’t. Where is she? Is she okay? Lola?” I shout, looking around for her. But if she was here then she would be with my sister, consoling her.

  My eyes water at the image of Lola alone and hurt. God, if anything happened to her… I don’t know what I’d do.

  “Stop!” the officer growls but then steps to the side, seeing someone behind me.

  “Dean?” my sister calls out, her voice hollow and filled with pain. I rush over to where she’s standing and place my hands on her shoulders. I feel sorry for not asking if she’s okay but I only have one person on my mind right now.

  “Where is she?” I croak, still scanning the forming crowd.

  “Oh God,” she says, looking ready to vomit. “There was so much blood, Dean… so much.”

  “Pagan!” I shout, shaking her, but she keeps crying, falling into Dad’s arms when he shows up. Looking down at the young lad, I give him a look, and he sniffles.

  “It’s my fault. I should have gone with her. Pagan told me to ask Lola to get some leaflets out of her car. I should have gone with her, but she told me to stay where I was, and she’d be back in a minute.” He sniffles. “When Pagan came to see where the leaflets were and found out Lola still hadn’t come back, we come round to look for her.” He takes a deep swallow, choking back a sob. Pagan hears the struggle in his voice and takes him back in her arms, looking at me with red, puffy eyes.

  “We walked into the staff room, and the back door was open. We thought she went to get them by herself, but when we stepped outside, there was blood everywhere. She was nowhere to be seen, Dean. I looked everywhere after I called the police,” she cries.

  “Shush, my darling girl. This isn’t your fault,” Dad consoles her.

  “If I hadn’t asked her to get the leaflets, none of this would have happened,” she cries, and the boy starts crying harder. My chest aches for them both.

  “Hey, kid,” I call, trying to soften my voice.

  “Yeah?”

  “It wasn’t your fault, okay. It’s not yours either, Pagan. Let me go see what they’ve found out,” I say, needing to do something.

  I step over to Cage, giving him a chin lift. “Hey, any news?”

  “We have a witness. He’s in the back of the ambulance at the moment being treated for some bruises and scrapes.”

  �
��What did he see?”

  “He was walking his dog when he saw an older man in his mid-thirties carrying a young woman in his arms. He watched as he placed her in the back seat of his car and didn’t think anything of it. He just presumed she was asleep or not feeling well, but then he heard the woman screaming. By the time he got there the offender was already in the car. The witness barely made it out of the way in time. He only managed to get the car make and half a number plate. We’re running it now and have police out searching for the vehicle’s description.”

  I nod and start pacing. How the fuck has this happened? And why the fuck didn’t anyone know he was here? Not only do I have men working on the case but so does Dwayne. Surely one of us should have picked up on him being here.

  Everything seems to be fucked up at the moment.

  The signs were there he was here. Hell, Lola said she could feel someone watching her. Although I double-checked the area of Cabin Lake twice, I didn’t see anything, but I looked into it even further myself.

  Then a thought occurs to me. The only thing I didn’t check up on was the mystery man Lola said Pagan met.

  “Pagan, come here. I need to ask you something.”

  Fuck!

  It all makes sense.

  It was Rick watching her at the club, and he followed them home. And if he didn’t follow them he could have easily asked Pagan where they lived. I know deep down it’s him.

  “What’s wrong? What did they say?” she asks, walking over with Brooke, who looks just as much of a mess as the rest of us. I glance over her shoulder, watching Dad say something to Sid who is comforting the boy.

  “Do you remember the night you, Brooke and Lola went out to celebrate? It was about eight weeks ago now.”

  She nods, looking confused. “Yeah, why?”

  “Lola mentioned you met a man. What she didn’t tell you, because she wasn’t sure, was that you described her ex-boyfriend to her, the one who was violent. So I need you to remember everything you can about that night and this bloke, because I think she was right about him. Can you remember anything you said or he told you that could help us find out where Lola is?” I ask, crossing my fingers that she has something, anything. Even the smallest thing would be better than nothing right now.