Living With Lies Trilogy (Books 1, 2, and 3 of The Dancing Moon Ranch Series)

by Watters, Patricia

  "You okay?" Sam asked.

  "Sure," she replied. "Why?"

  "Your hand. It's shaking."

  Jayne looked at the quaking folder in her hand and realized Sam was right. Living with lies made her nervous and edgy. "Just tired," she said. "I didn't get much sleep last night. It's noisy in the city. Sirens."

  "Well, you won't be hearing sirens out here," Sam said. He slipped the folder out from between her fingers and put it on the desk, then sandwiched her hand between both of his, and said, "Your hand is cold."

  "That happens when I'm tired," Jayne said, by way of explanation. A really ludicrous one at that, but she liked having Sam's big hands around hers and feeling the warmth radiating. "Your hands are warm," she mused, making no attempt to pull her hand free.

  "I've been told that," Sam replied. He lifted her hand to his mouth and blew gently, sending a rush of warm air against it.

  "By women?" Jayne asked then immediately questioned her cheeky response. There was no way Sam could construe it as anything but her being interested in him, which maybe she was. For years she'd sworn off men, partly because she couldn't set aside the past, but mostly because she hadn't met one worth the bother, but there was no question, Sam had her feeling things again.

  Sam looked up from their hands. "What about women?"

  "Do they tell you your hands are warm?" she asked.

  Sam's mouth curved with a smile, and he said, "No, Jayne with a Y, my son does." Little points of light shone in his eyes, and this time Jayne knew he was flirting.

  She'd always shied away from men who flirted, but with Sam she didn't want to. "I'll try to remember that the next time my hands get cold," she said, returning his smile.

  "And I'll try to remember why I hired you," Sam replied, then gave her hand a little squeeze, and left.

  Jayne watched him go, feeling a stab of regret. Sam had custody of his son, so the woman he'd choose for his next wife would have to meet some minimum requirement, which she would never pass. She sighed. Life was filled with disappointments.

  ***

  Jayne sat in Sam's extended-cab pickup truck, sandwiched between Sam and Flo, and each time the truck hit a pothole in the ranch road, she felt Sam's broad shoulder, or the side of his well-muscled arm, or the length of his thigh rubbing against her. That didn't bother her, but the state of the road did. "When was the last time you had gravel put on this road?" she asked, as Sam maneuvered around a couple of potholes.

  "A number of years back," Sam replied.

  "Do you suppose there's a correlation between the drop in returning guests and the fact that none of their vehicles had workable CV joints after staying at the ranch?" Jayne said, with irony.

  Sam laughed, and it was the first time Jayne heard his laugh. It was a deep rolling sound. A nice sound. "Could be," he replied. "Never thought of that." He made a turn onto a paved county road, which wound its way to the main highway leading into town. As they drove, Jayne and Flo chatted, mostly about Flo's family, since Jayne made a point of keeping the conversation on Flo. Once in town, however, Sam dropped Flo off at the grocery and continued to the printer's, where Jayne explained to the shop owner what she had in mind for the brochure.

  Sam didn't seem to care what she did. His mind was clearly somewhere else. He also looked troubled. The printer gave her a quote which Sam agreed to without question, and Jayne made plans to return with her layout the following week.

  Their next stop was the Journey to Health Fitness Center, an impressive place with a glass front, and rows of exercising equipment inside. Sam pulled the truck into the parking lot and into a slot that faced the front of the building. Before going in, he sat at the wheel, staring at the place, the muscles in his jaw tightening, his brow furrowed in disapproval. Jayne looked in the direction of his gaze and saw, just beyond the glass at the front of the building, a beautiful woman, curved in all the right places, standing with her hand on the chest of a muscular man who was wearing a tight tank top and spandex pants, and who was peering down at her.

  Assuming the woman was Sam's ex, Jayne said, when Sam made no move to leave the truck, "You want me to go in and get your son? I can say I'm the new nanny." She thought it would give Sam's ex something to chew on. "It still bothers you, doesn't it?" she said, when Sam still said or did nothing.

  "Yeah, it bothers me," Sam replied. "I financed this whole damn setup, and the guy was screwing Susan the whole time I was paying his salary. He's still screwing her, but she's paying his salary now, along with the mortgage on the place."

  "But you still can't put it behind," Jayne said.

  "We were married twelve years," Sam replied.

  The woman glided both hands up the man's chest and said something that made him smile in a way that said he was ready to get it on with her too, then he turned and walked toward the rear of the building.

  "I'll be right back," Sam said, then climbed out of the truck and strode into the building.

  Through the glass, Jayne watched Sam approach Susan. From their expressions, they were exchanging angry words. Susan turned and walked toward the back of the building and Sam followed. A few minutes later, Sam returned with his son, a tall, nice-looking, dark-haired boy with a close resemblance to Sam. Susan, who was clearly angry, followed them out the front door while flailing a hand at Sam. The boy sprinted ahead and got in the truck and sat on the padded bench behind the driver's seat, not so much as acknowledging Jayne, then put on the headphones to his CD player, folded his arms, planted his mouth in a grim line, and said nothing.

  Sam headed for the truck, but just short of it, Susan rushed up and grabbed his arm, and said, "I have a legal right to see him two full weekends a month. You're taking him back a day early."

  Sam shook her arm off. "It's his birthday," he said, walking around the truck. "He wants to be at the ranch."

  Susan's eyes shifted beyond Sam to Jayne, stared in shocked surprise, lingered on Jayne for a moment, then returned to Sam, who she confronted with pure venom. "You look for any excuse to keep him from me!"

  "You've got that right," Sam said in a quietly controlled voice. "I don't like him being around you and your stud." He climbed onto the driver’s seat, shut the door and started the engine.

  Susan's thin nostrils flared, and her eyes sharpened with something akin to pure rage, as she said, with disdain, "At least I'm no longer married to a eunuch!"

  Releasing the brake, Sam backed the truck up, then spun the wheel and pulled out of the lot onto the street. His face hard, he said nothing, just gripped the wheel and maneuvered the truck through traffic.

  It wasn't until after they'd picked up Flo from the grocery and Sam had loaded the bed of the truck with grocery bags, and they were on the county road leading to the turn off to the ranch, that Ricky removed his earphones and said, from his place on the seat behind them, "I don't like Ross. Do I have to call him Dad?"

  "Who said you had to call him that?" Sam asked.

  "Mom. But she's not married to him. Is he still my step-dad?"

  The muscles in Sam's jaw bunched. "No. I'll talk to her about it."

  "Why do I even have to go there?" Ricky asked. "All I do is sit around and watch DVDs. And Mom and Ross are always kissing and doing stuff like that. It's gross."

  "I know, son. I'm sorry," Sam said, hands gripping the wheel.

  "Can't we just go back to what it was?" Ricky asked.

  "No, that's not an option, but things will work out." Sam turned onto the ranch road and said nothing more, but when Jayne glanced at him, his eyes were intent, his mouth was planted in a firm line, and the muscles in his jaw moved, as if he were grinding his teeth. But as they made their way toward the ranch, Jayne couldn't put aside his ex-wife's final words. There was no question what she meant, which was probably the reason for the divorce, but the woman didn't have to announce it in front of someone who could be a love interest in Sam's life. Nor did Jayne know why the idea of Sam possibly being impotent bothered her. He was nothing to her,
and never would be. Still, the thought of a man as virile-looking as Sam, and who was in the prime of his life physically, maybe not being able to function as a man, made her want to reach out to him and tell him it was okay. But from the hard look in his eyes and the rigid line of his mouth, it was not okay, and the subject was definitely not up for discussion.

  CHAPTER 2

  Jayne didn't see Sam for three days. She knew he was at the ranch though, because she could look out any one of the large front windows in the lodge and see him with the men at the winery, which was located directly across from the front of the lodge, and separated by about two hundred feet of grounds that were divided by a walking path interspersed with clumps of ferns and other low forest plantings. Several trucks were in the parking area in front of the winery, and construction workers were busy with the new addition.

  Sam was easy to spot among them. He stood taller than the rest, and had a distinctive male shape—broad shoulders emphasized by his western-cut shirt and lean jean-clad hips. She couldn't help thinking though, that if there was nothing to what his ex-wife said, Sam would have made a comment to square things away. Instead, he kept his distance and said nothing.

  The day before, Sam had a birthday party for Ricky. She'd been invited via Flo, but declined. Children's parties made her sad because they were always a depressing reminder. Still, she'd glanced out the window and watched the activity, mostly boys around Ricky's age, but also five little boys—two sets of twins with one little boy sandwiched in between—who were Jack and Grace Hansen's kids. In addition to Sam, adults included Flo, who served the cake, Sam's mother, Maureen, a widow who lived in a little log house on the ranch, an amateur magician who Sam hired for the occasion, and Grace Hansen with the new baby boy in a stroller. Although Sam hadn't come by the office since they returned from town, Jayne hadn't been idle.

  After Maureen Hansen mentioned that the ranch didn't have a website, Jayne started right in, and three days later, she'd set up a Dancing Moon Ranch website that included digital photos of the lodge, the stable and barn, the line-up of cabins on the creek, as well as several photos of the guest rooms in the lodge, the dining room, and the great room with its huge stone fireplace. She was anxious for Sam to see what she'd done. She also wanted to see him again, and showing him the website would be as good an excuse as any.

  While they were scrolling through the new website later that afternoon, Maureen said to Jayne, "Sam and Jack have needed help managing this place for a long time. My husband and I ran it when the boys were growing up and we did fine, but we didn't have the cabins on the creek, and now that I'm retired, we need a full-time manager for the guest ranch, so I'm very glad you're here."

  "So am I," Jayne said. "It's a beautiful place."

  "Yes it is. It was also a good place to raise my boys. When they were teenagers, it gave them summer jobs. Jack was always the one in charge of the horses and leading trail rides, but Sam was my outgoing one. He liked being around the guests, especially if they had pretty daughters, so he was our self-appointed welcoming committee."

  "He doesn't seem very outgoing now," Jayne mused.

  "He's not," Maureen said. "He's changed a lot over the past few years. Actually since he married Susan, and having Ricky so sick when he was little sobered Sam up too. He's a good father though, and was a good husband, but I think the world would be a better place if mothers could select their son's wives."

  Jayne laughed. "I take it you didn't approve of either of your daughter-in-laws."

  "Both my sons picked women for their looks the first time," Maureen said, "but Jack used the brain above his waist for his second wife."

  "They have six kids," Jayne pointed out.

  Maureen laughed. "Well, maybe he's using the brain below his waist too, but Grace wants lots of kids and Jack's fine with that. But Sam, he's angry and bitter. Susan isn't making things easy. Divorce is messy, and Ricky bears the brunt of it."

  "Then Sam and Susan just divorced?" Jayne asked.

  "No, it's been almost three years," Maureen replied, "but Sam doesn't like the situation over there with Ricky knowing his mother's sleeping with a man who isn't her husband. Sam has high standards when it comes to that."

  Or maybe Sam had high standards because he couldn't do anything about it, Jayne reasoned. Standing on principle would eliminate the humiliation of owning up to whatever his problem was. "Sam said his son was born with a blood disorder. Was it something he inherited from Sam?" she asked, thinking Maureen might shed some light on Susan's comment.

  "There's no way of knowing," Maureen replied. "It's a very rare disorder that passes through the male line, but that could have been several generations back."

  "Sam seems very physically fit," Jayne mused. Then, realizing she sounded like she was interested in Sam, she added, "And Jack too."

  "My boys have always been strong. Ranch work does that." A slight frown touched Maureen's brow, giving Jayne the impression that she was being scrutinized and not passing the mother's choice test. Which was fine. She wasn't at the ranch to find a husband. She was there to get practical experience and be able to put together an honest resume.

  Shifting the subject away from Sam, she said, "So many of my close friends are divorced, I've decided to stay single." Lying wasn't so hard anymore. She justified it because she wasn't hurting anyone, but she was only lying about close friends. Because of her circumstances, she had none. But once established where there would be people and activities, she'd make friends, and maybe even consider marriage. She still had a void that had never been filled.

  Maureen eyed her soberly. "I just hope Sam doesn't rush headlong into marriage like Jack did. Jack married Grace six weeks after they met. Things are fine with them, but that's not how it usually turns out, and I don't want Sam to get the impression it could work for him too. He needs to get over the divorce and wait for the right woman to come along, which takes time."

  "You're right," Jayne said, "which is why I'm twenty-nine and single, and plan to stay that way until I've known a man for a very long time."

  Maureen, seeming to relax after that, excused herself, leaving Jayne with the impression that the purpose for her visit was not so much about checking the new website as it was to issue a mother's warning to stay clear of her son, which wouldn't be a problem. Sam was an interesting man, and there was no question she was attracted to him, but he was only a stepping stone in her life. Holding that thought, she returned to scanning websites for commercial kitchen equipment, and a couple of hours later, she was startled by a light knock on the door frame, and looked up and see Sam standing in the doorway.

  "You busy right now?" Sam asked.

  "Not so busy that I can't stop," Jayne replied. She sat back in her desk chair and waited to see what Sam wanted. He had the same troubled look on his face that she'd seen when he was looking at his ex-wife through the front window of the fitness center.

  Sam grabbed a chair from the corner of the room and drew it up in front of the desk and sat down. "Things going okay here?" he asked, though from his tone, Jayne didn't think he was really after a rundown on what she'd been doing.

  "Everything's fine," Jayne replied. "Did your mother tell you about the website?"

  Sam nodded. When he offered nothing more, Jayne said, "Your mother seemed to like what I did. I included photos of places around the ranch and some of the lodge and the guest rooms. I took them with my little digital camera and downloaded them and they look pretty good."

  Sam looked at her, puzzled. "Sorry. What did you say?"

  "The website. I included photos." Jayne wondered if the man was always so preoccupied. When he didn't respond, she went on to say, "I'd like to order an espresso machine and a popcorn maker so when the guests are gathering for dinner they'll have something to do. Flo was all for it since it would take the pressure off her get meals out exactly when—"

  "There's nothing to what she said," Sam interjected.

  "About guests waiting for meals?" Jayne
asked, puzzled.

  "No, what Susan said. It's not that way," Sam replied. "I had testicular cancer a couple of years after Ricky was born and the chemo treatments made me sterile, but everything's still intact and working the way it should."

  Jayne stared at him. She barely knew the man, yet he wanted to make sure she understood that he still functioned as a man. When she said nothing, because she had no idea how to respond, Sam stood, and said, "That's all I came to say," then turned and started out of the room.

  When he reached the doorway, Jayne said, "Sam?"

  He turned and waited.

  She shrugged. "If you weren't able to function that way it would still be okay. Some things in life aren't that important."

  Sam gave her an uncertain smile. "That is not one of them," he said, then left.

  Jayne felt an overwhelming sense of relief that Sam could walk proudly as a man, but she wasn't sure how she should react to him the next time she'd see him. He'd just shared something private and intimate that had no bearing on her job. As relationships went, they'd shared a moment of something when Sam held her hand and they'd followed with a flirtatious exchange, but that was hardly a declaration of intent, so whether or not Sam was able to perform in bed was irrelevant at this point.

  Still, she couldn't deny that Sam stirred things inside her when he was around. The sight of him sent a rush of adrenaline through her. And his smile, when it came, stopped her entire thought process. But when he held her hand, and looked at her, and smiled all at the same time, she couldn't help thinking that Sam felt a spark of something more than simply that of a single man, back in circulation again, in the presence of a single woman, and enjoying his newfound freedom. But then, if Sam was trying to get back something of what he'd once had when his marriage was good, but had forgotten what it was like, he'd be open to sex and flattery. Maybe this was his way of letting her know he was ready for both. And although she knew she should stop what was happening, she couldn't seem to bring herself to do so.