Living With Lies Trilogy (Books 1, 2, and 3 of The Dancing Moon Ranch Series)

by Watters, Patricia

  ***

  Sam intercepted Jack as Jack was coming out of the stable. Clapping his twin on the back, he said, "How are Grace and the baby doing?"

  Jack beamed. "They're both great. Tyler's another chowhound, but you know Grace and nursing. She loves it and would have enough milk for the entire family if we needed it. She's the eternal mother. My little fertility goddess."

  Sam chuckled. It was a running joke Grace started years before, claiming that when she was pregnant she felt like one of those fertility figures found in archeological digs—headless female figurines with no hands or feet, only huge bellies and breasts. Being pregnant most of the time, and Grace having naturally large breasts that got bigger when she was nursing, she didn't mind the kidding. Jack didn't mind her shape either, he told Sam early on. He'd moved on from a tall, small-breasted wife to Grace, who he claimed took two hands to contain. And whereas Grace was the eternal mother, Jack was the eternal father, Sam mused, feeling a little stab of jealousy.

  He didn't want to feel that way about his twin, but there were times when he couldn’t help it. Although he had Ricky, he would like to have kept Marc, but after Susan went through artificial insemination in an effort to create a baby who could be a cord-blood match for Ricky, she didn't want Marc, so Grace and Jack were raising Ricky's half-brother as Adam's fraternal twin, and Ricky was being raised alone, a falsehood Sam went along with, but which troubled him deeply.

  He looked at Jack, who was beaming, and said, "Did you ever consider having a girl? In a few years you'll have six teenage boys. I won't envy you then."

  "Yeah, I'll also have six big strapping young men to help get some work done around here," Jack replied. "Adam and Marc try, but a couple of six-year-olds aren't much help. Ricky does a creditable job mucking out stalls though. After his tough start he's making up for lost time. He's going to be a big man."

  Sam couldn't help grinning. He was proud of his boy, and if they could get past the problems with Susan and the bastard she was living with, Ricky would finally have a normal life.

  "How's she working out?" Jack asked.

  "Jayne?" Sam replied, his thoughts returning to where they'd been ever since he first set eyes on the woman. "She's working out fine."

  Jack looked at him, puzzled. "I thought her name was Rebecca."

  "She picked the name Jayne instead," Sam explained. "That's Jayne with a Y. She doesn't like Rebecca."

  "She's an interesting looking woman," Jack mused.

  Sam let out a short guffaw. "Man, I never thought I'd hear you comment on any woman but Grace. Is that what happens to a man after six kids?"

  "I didn't comment on her," Jack countered. "I just said she was interesting looking."

  Sam rapped Jack on the shoulder. "Don't get your dander up, bro. I know there's no other woman on the face of the earth for you but Grace, but at least you're a little human. Yeah, Jayne is an interesting-looking woman. Descended from a slave woman and a Brit, and an eastern-Indian woman and a Brit, and an Irish woman and probably another Brit, and her mother's Filipino. The mix didn't come out too bad."

  "Did you check her references?" Jack asked, ignoring the rest.

  "No, but I will," Sam replied, although he wasn't feeling a need. Jayne was working out fine.

  "She's already been here a week," Jack pointed out. "When do you intend to do it?"

  "I don't know," Sam clipped. "Soon."

  Jack looked at him, intently. "Do you have something for this woman?" he asked.

  "Hell no," Sam said quickly. Too quickly. Jack could see right through it.

  "Well, you'd better keep focused on why we hired her," Jack said, "and it wasn't for you to start sniffing around her."

  "Look, I'm not interested in her, okay?"

  Jack eyed him dubiously. "I guess we'll find out in a few days."

  "What's that supposed to mean?"

  "Whether or not you check her references. I shouldn't have to tell you this. You're the one with the college degree. But we can't be turning over ranch records to someone we haven't checked out first. Just take care of it." Jack clamped his jaws shut and walked away.

  Sam knew Jack was right. He also knew why he hadn't run the check. He had more than a gut feeling that things wouldn't check out. He just didn't want to know what those things were.

  ***

  After a few more days, Sam decided Jack was right. They did need to check Jayne's reference. She'd only listed one, which alone raised questions, but giving her the benefit of the doubt, he called the one reference and spoke to a woman named Angie, who assured him that Jayne had been a competent manager of their ranch, and she'd recommend her without reservation. Deciding the call should be enough to satisfy Jack, Sam tracked Jack down in the barn and mentioned it to him, and because Jack and their foreman were in the process of pulling a calf, Jack just grunted and continued on with what they were doing.

  And Sam headed for the lodge and Jayne's office. It had been two days since he'd seen her and he found himself looking for an excuse to talk to her, but this time he'd confine the conversation to issues about the guest ranch. Showing up in her office to let her know he could still perform in bed had been pretty damn absurd. They weren't in a relationship, and she'd barely been there a week, yet, he'd all but pulled his pants down to prove he was still intact. But when Susan implied he was impotent, he'd come about as close as he'd ever come to hitting a woman.

  How he'd ever loved Susan escaped him now. He couldn't even remember the good times, but there must have been some. They'd managed to have Ricky. But Susan had been right when she accused him of being responsible for getting her pregnant. When she came out of the shower wrapped in a towel that night ten years ago, he jumped at the chance to get her aroused to a state where she threw all caution aside and let him have his way without the condom. She'd been furious when she learned she was pregnant. She hadn't wanted kids from the start, and he agreed at the time because he'd already decided he wanted Susan more than he wanted kids.

  If he'd married someone else, his life would have been different though. He couldn't blame the cancer on Susan, but he probably would've had a few kids before he discovered the tumor. Then it wouldn't have mattered so much because he'd already have a family.

  As he entered the lodge, he heard Grace and his mother, who was cooing over the new baby. His mother helped with each new baby until the baby settled into the family. But new babies in the Jack and Grace Hansen household seem to fit right in, taking their place among a string of brothers. Marc and Adam were six, and then came Ryan, a year younger. Jeremy and Joshua, identical twins, arrived just over a year later, and now little Tyler, and still, Grace's household ran like clockwork. Bread was either rising on the kitchen counter or baking in the oven, and Jack always came in for lunch, and dessert, as he referred to it, if he happened to come when the kids were down for naps. And he always left with a smile.

  Come to think of it, Jack smiled a lot. So did Grace. Sam couldn't remember what it was like to have sex with someone who smiled afterwards because she liked having sex with him. He could barely remember having sex. But that was not on his mind now, as he crossed the great room, nodding to his mother and Grace, who held the new baby.

  He found Jayne sitting at her desk, with the layout for the new brochures in front of her. She glanced up when he entered the room, and smiled as if she were glad to see him. And he felt a distinct thumping in his chest, along with an awakening below his waist, and as he looked at her, in all her shades of ethnic beauty, he was finding it hard to concentrate on why he came.

  She's an interesting-looking woman...

  No, bro. Interesting doesn't begin to cut it.

  "You've been keeping yourself scarce," Jayne said.

  "Look, about what I told you when I was here before," Sam started in, even though he'd had no intention of bringing that up again. "It was pretty lame of me."

  "It's fine," Jayne said. "I understand why you felt like you should explain. Any man would.
But why would your ex-wife say such a thing?"

  "When Susan gets mad, anything can come out of her mouth. Hitting me verbally below the belt was mild," Sam said, and wondered again why he'd brought up the incident.

  "I'm glad you're alright," Jayne replied. "Are you considered cancer free now?"

  It was an odd conversation to be having with a woman he'd only just met a week and a half ago. Odd, but not awkward. Still, Sam pulled up a chair and sat in front of the desk. "It's been over seven years," he replied, "so I've been told I am."

  "Was it bad, learning about it?" Jayne asked.

  Sam wasn't sure whether she was inquiring because the subject was titillating to discuss, or because she cared. Maybe both. "For a man, it's about the most devastating news you can hear when a doctor tells you they'll try chemo first, but if it doesn't shrink the tumor they'll cut off your balls. So yeah, it was bad."

  Jayne looked at him thoughtfully. "That was an inexcusable thing for your ex-wife to say. I believe I could learn to hate her."

  Sam shrugged, and replied, "Susan's not a difficult woman to hate. If she wasn't Ricky's mother I would, but I withhold it because there had to have been some good times in a galaxy far, far away at one time or another. I just can't remember when that was."

  "That's sad," Jayne said, and Sam believed she meant it.

  Jayne toyed with the brochure layout in front of her on the desk, and Sam saw that her hands were shaking again. Reaching across the desk, he sandwiched both her hands in his this time. "Are shaking hands a common problem with you?" he asked.

  "It seems it's becoming one," Jayne replied, "but it only happens when you're around. Do my hands feel cold?"

  "A little," Sam said. He rubbed her hands. They felt small in his. And soft. And very feminine. And Jayne made no attempt to pull them away. He got the impression that if they'd been standing, and he took her hands and put them around his neck and slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him, she'd let him kiss her. He was almost tempted to try.

  "What are we doing?" Jayne asked, still making no attempt pull her hands free.

  Sam looked into a pair of almond-shaped eyes that took on shades of greens and browns in the soft light, and shook his head slowly, and said, "I don't know, but I like it."

  "I do too," Jayne admitted, "but if you don't know what we're doing, and I don't know what we're doing, then I guess we'd better not do it." She withdrew her hands. "But that was nice while it lasted." She set the brochures aside and slid her laptop in front of her, and said, "Do you want to see our website now?"

  "Yeah, show me what you came up with." Sam moved his chair around behind the desk and positioned it next to hers. Taking a seat, he looked at the computer screen and waited while she pulled up the website. But as she slowly scrolled down the screen, while carrying on a monolog about what she'd included and why, all Sam was aware of was the brush of her arm against his on the adjoining armrests, and the scent of her hair, or her skin, or maybe her clothes, he couldn't tell which, but it was a spicy scent, nothing distinct, more like the aftermath of an exotic incense.

  He turned and looked at her profile, and he knew she could feel his breath on her face. She couldn't miss it. He felt it wafting back at him. Her finger paused on the mouse and she turned and looked at him, and said, in a quiet voice, "What did you think of it? The website?"

  "I don't know," Sam said, moving toward her. "I may have to look at it again. Do you like what you've done?"

  She blinked several times. "Yes," she said, while moving slowly toward him, "I think it's what we need." Her lips met his, barely touching, and lingered there for a few seconds. Then she turned back to the computer and started scrolling down the screen again. "If you keep distracting me like that, I'll never get this place running smoothly," she said, "and you'll fire me because you'll think I'm incompetent." She gave him a little half-smile that reminded him that his male equipment was in excellent working order and was ready for road testing. That not being an option, he turned his attention to the computer screen, but Jayne was shutting down.

  "I thought you wanted to show me the website," he said, wanting an excuse to stay beside her longer, maybe complete the kiss. It was a strange thing, being interested in a woman again. He'd been divorced for almost three years and every time he saw Susan with her stud, knowing she was sleeping with the bastard, he felt like ramming a fist into his gut. What bothered him was that when Ricky was there he'd hear Susan's passionate outbursts coming from behind the closed bedroom door. Susan made noise during sex. He could barely remember it now, but there had been a time when she'd responded to his lovemaking in a very vocal way.

  "I'll show you the website another time, when you're not so distracted," Jayne said, drawing his attention to her. She shoved her chair back and stood, and he did the same, but when he stepped toward her to test his theory, she moved around the desk, putting some distance between them, and said, "I think we need to step back from each other a little."

  Sam knew she was right, but he didn't want to hear her say it because it was a reality check. "Sorry, I'm new to the single's scene and I'm fumbling my way along," he said. "I'll try to stick to business."

  "It's okay," Jayne replied. "I've been in the single's scene so long I jump to conclusions. A little show of affection is nice." She glanced at the doorway to the hall. "It sounds like your mother's in the great room."

  "She is, and Jack's wife too," Sam replied.

  "Maybe I'll say hello," Jayne said. "I met Grace, but haven't spent any time with her, but Flo thinks the world of her, says she's what turned Jack's life around after what happened to his son."

  "Yeah," Sam said, "Grace did do that." He turned and left the room, and Jayne followed him down the hallway to the great room, where his mother was sitting on an overstuffed chair, and Grace was on the couch with the baby lying face up on her legs. When Jayne stopped in the doorway and didn't move, Sam looked back at her and saw her brows gathered, as if she were not sure whether to join his mother and Grace.

  "Come on," he said, thinking she was feeling like an intruder, "you're a member of the crew now, and Grace wants to show off the new baby."

  "I just remembered there's something I want to do on the website," Jayne said.

  "You can do it later," Sam replied. He nudged her elbow, and she started across the room.

  When she got to the couch, Grace patted the cushion. "Sit here and visit a little so we can get acquainted," she said. "We're all so glad to finally have someone running this place."

  "Amen," Maureen Hansen replied.

  Jayne sat beside Grace, and Sam stood opposite the two women, looking from one to the other—Grace with the baby laying face, who was gazing up at his mother, and Jayne beside Grace, staring at the baby and looking very troubled.

  Grace lifted him off her legs, and said, "Here, you can hold him."

  "Oh no," Jayne replied. "He's so small."

  "It's okay," Grace said. "He's a sturdy boy. Just hold his head." She passed the baby to Jayne, who cradled him in her arms and gazed down at him.

  For the longest time, Jayne just held the baby and stared at him, brows gathered, face deep in thought, which Sam found curious. Whenever Grace showed off her latest offspring, she was always greeted with oohs and aahs and smiles and compliments, but Jayne just sat holding the baby and saying nothing. Then she bit her bottom lip, and started batting her eyelids, and when she looked up, Sam saw tears in her eyes.

  Abruptly, she returned the baby to Grace and said, "He's really a nice baby, but I have to go." She walked across the room and rushed down the hallway to her bedroom, closing the door sharply. Sam went after her, but when he got to the closed door, he heard her sobbing. He reached for the knob and started to turn it, then dropped his hand.

  He was the man who'd hired her, not her boyfriend, not her husband, and he had no right to walk in on her. But this wasn't over. When Jayne held the baby it triggered a painful memory, and he intended to learn what it was. She
was the first woman to hold his interest since the day he first laid eyes on Susan, and he wanted to be there for her. He didn't need to be her lover or her husband in order to be her friend.

  CHAPTER 3

  The following morning, Jayne had not expected to find Sam standing in the kitchen when she arrived for breakfast. After rushing out of the room and away from the baby the day before, Sam was the last person she wanted to see. It was not something she wanted to explain or discuss, but she figured she had two choices. Walk out of the kitchen and open herself to more scrutiny, or fabricate an explanation for her hasty departure. Deciding on the latter, she poured herself a cup of coffee and sat at the kitchen table and waited.

  Sam, who had a mug of coffee in his hand, sat across from her. Looking at her thoughtfully, he said, "Is everything okay?"

  Jayne gave a little offhand shrug. "Sure. Why?"

  "You rushed out of the room yesterday and never came back. No one knew what to make of it." Sam took a slow sip of coffee and waited.

  After a few moments, Jayne said, while spooning scrambled eggs from the platter onto her dish, mainly to keep from looking into Sam's eyes, "I remembered I left my hair straightener on." She'd learned to lie credibly with people who didn't matter, but once she cared, it didn't work so well, and from the uncertainty in Sam's expression, she knew he wasn't buying it. So she added, "I didn't come back because I started getting ideas for activities and I wanted to write them down before I forgot them."

  "I'd be curious to know what you came up with," Sam said.

  Jayne took a bite of eggs to bide a little time while searching for ideas, and to her relief, several came to mind. "Hikes and nature walks," she announced. "We could make signs for a self-guided tour to the Indian mound, and Flo mentioned there was a hot spring in a cavern somewhere nearby where if you sit in the pool long enough you hear sounds like voices."