by Heather Wood
She walked down and attempted a smile as she greeted him at the door. He gave her a sour expression once he saw her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. Peter went up the stairs as she slowly climbed behind him. “Babe, what’s wrong? You look like crap.”
He gave her a blank stare. She couldn’t help but wonder if he was serious. She wasn’t up for an argument, so just said mildly, “Just a little sore from last night. We really got carried away on the stairs.”
“I know, that was pretty hot. Didn’t think you would be banged up though, sorry. Why don’t you relax on the couch and I’ll pour you a glass of wine and order a pizza.” She sunk into her couch. Her doctor had told her to avoid alcohol while on the medication, but figured a glass or two of wine wouldn’t do any harm.
After calling for the pizza, he joined her on the couch. She took a long sip of the wine and closed her eyes. She was so tired and the thought of making conversation with Peter seemed terribly difficult. “I’m awful company. I tried to call you, but you didn’t pick up. It’s probably dreadfully boring to watch me barely keep my eyes open.”
“I’m an easy date. Plus, I wanted to see you after yesterday. I feel bad for losing my temper like that. I love you and hope you know that I’m normally not a bad guy.” He leaned back and gave her a careful look.
She gave him a weak smile. “It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re here with me.”
“So, how was your day?” He asked taking off her shoes. He began to massage her feet. This was when she found it hard to reconcile this Peter with the one in the bedroom. It was like he could be incredibly sweet and caring, but then flip a switch and change into someone scary and aggressive.
“Well, actually I saw Ryan. He came by the office. Apparently he’s moving into an apartment and wants me to take Junior back. I know you and Junior started out on the wrong foot, but I think he just has to get to know you better.” She tried to sound convincing, but imagined he noted the forced nonchalance.
“What? He just showed up at your office like that? Couldn’t he have just called to let you know?” he inquired while slipping off his suit jacket and tie. Morbidly, she wondered if he would get into a rage over Ryan and try to choke her with the tie.
“Well, I did change my cell number and changed the front door lock,” she pointed out. Not to mention it was his idea, she thought.
“Yeah, well, I hate that guy for obvious reasons. I just don’t want him to try and jerk you around again. Especially now we’re getting serious.”
“I’m not interested in Ryan. Besides, he’s moving into Bethany’s complex, so they must be pretty committed to one another. I’m just happy to be getting my dog back.” He seemed content with her answer and let the issue drop. The last thing she wanted was another blowout like the night before.
“Anyway on a lighter note, I got you something,” he said and reached for his jacket. He pulled an envelope out and handed it to her.
She gave him a baffled look and ripped open the envelope. Her jaw hit the floor. “Peter, what is this?” Alice was staring at a check written out to her for two thousand dollars. Oh God, a thought shook her, was this blood money?
“You’ve been struggling to pay the bills and thought I’d help out,” he shrugged.
The timing of the gift felt completely off, but she wasn’t certain how to broach the subject. “Peter, I can’t take this from you.”
“Of course you can. We’re together and I have the money to give. Don’t make a big deal out of it and let me do something nice for you.” He gave her a lingering kiss on the mouth. She felt torn over the money. Accepting it felt existentially wrong like she completely had no pride left and this would give him more control over her life. On the other hand, her credit cards were starting to get maxed out and she knew she’d either have to move out of her apartment soon or find a second job.
“Thank you, but you really shouldn’t have done this. Can I at least pay you back? Like a loan?”
“Alice, don’t worry, you could pay me back in other ways,” he told her seductively. She swallowed hard, that’s exactly what she was worried about.
“Why don’t I get you another glass of wine while we wait for the pizza to come.” She nodded and minutes later Peter handed her a refill. He sat next to her and turned on the television. Vegging out with pizza and TV sounded ideal-the less conversation, the better. The thought of arguing with him about the money felt too psychologically daunting. She hoped he wouldn’t mind if she ended up passing out early.
***
She was in pain and it wouldn’t stop. Far away, she heard her name. Someone was shaking her, commanding her to wake up. It didn’t seem possible. Although her arms felt like they were on fire, it seemed more painful to harness the energy to open her eyes. “What is it?” she moaned.
“Alice, you’re having a nightmare or something. Wake up.” Barely recognizing Peter’s voice, she finally pried her eyes open. He stood before her with an alarmed expression on his face. Before she could focus on what he was saying, she looked down horrified at her body. Scratches covered her arms from the elbow down to her wrist. They were fresh and bleeding. They only seemed to be superficial wounds since blood was not pouring out of them.
“What happened?” she garbled. He started to answer, but before he could speak, she felt a strong wave of nausea. “Give me a garbage can, quick! I’m going to throw up.” He ran to the bathroom and made it over to her with the wastebasket just in time. A mixture of bile and wine emptied out of her. After Peter ascertained she wasn’t going to get sick again, he handed her a wet washcloth. Trying to get a hold on her surroundings, she realized she was still on the couch in her living room.
“I have no idea. You passed out before the pizza came and I couldn’t wake you up. I was worried about you, so decided to crash in your bed. About 10 minutes ago, you started screaming. When I ran out, you were tearing at your arms with your fingernails. That must’ve been one hell of a nightmare…” he told her in a frantic rush. Nausea and confusion kept her from replying. “Hey, Alice, it’s okay, it was just a horrible dream.” He sat down next to her and pulled her into his lap. She sighed and lost consciousness as she leaned against his chest.
Chapter Sixteen
The next morning, the only proof that what happened was real was the scratches on her arm. Her head pounded and her stomach felt like she’d gone on an all night drinking binge. Although it killed her to do so, she really had no choice, but to call out of work the next morning. Diane was luckily in a tolerable mood and did note how she looked like she was coming down with something the day before.
Peter came over to give her a kiss goodbye. He’d brought over a change of clothes and looked impeccable in an expensive designer suit. “You sure you’ll be okay? I could see if Marc could take the meeting for me.”
“No, I would be horrible company. I must have eaten or drank something that didn’t agree with me. Thanks for everything though last night. I know puke duty mustn’t have been your idea of a good time.” Her hazel eyes attempted to portray her gratitude.
“I’m just glad you’re all right. Call me if you need anything.” Kissing her forehead, he left her in bed. She debated on whether or not to give Dr. Crowley a call. She had concluded that most likely the alcohol mixed with the antidepressants produced a horrible reaction. The only thing holding her back was admitting to the doctor that she drank when she’d been told to avoid alcohol. Not to mention her all honesty therapy doctrine was about to be thrown out the window. There was no way in hell Alice planned to relay the scene on the stairwell to Dr. Crowley. Telling someone you love them as they manhandle you spoke of a desperation she didn’t want to explore.
Another thought was to see Daniel and talk to him about the medications. She felt comfortable enough with him to admit her mistake. However, how could she go into Ryan’s office with scratches all of her arms and bruises down her back? Although she’d be able to explain away the scratches, what could she say about her back? S
he didn’t want to be put into a position where she had to lie to Daniel.
Her best bet would probably be to spend the day in bed and allow her body time to naturally recuperate. Obviously, drinking on her meds was out of the question. Giving up alcohol wouldn’t be super hard; she wasn’t a big drinker anyway. However, it could become awkward with Peter. She probably had to tell him about her depression, otherwise he might question why she never wanted a drink. Deciding not to think about it anymore, she closed her eyes again to shut out the world.
***
Alice woke up Sunday morning to shouting. “What the hell?” she mumbled crawling out of bed. She hurried out of the bedroom and heard Peter and Ryan arguing at the front door.
“I’m telling you now, back off. She’s not your girlfriend anymore,” she overheard Peter yelling at Ryan.
“Where the hell is she? You’re not going to sit here and tell me I can’t see her. If she doesn’t want to see me, Alice is fully capable of letting me know.” Ryan wasn’t yelling, but Alice heard the edge in his voice. Ryan’s anger wasn’t explosive, but his temper could be just as dangerous.
“Not exactly the way I want to be wake up on a Sunday morning,” she yelled down to the men from the top of the stairs. They both turned to her. Although both handsome, they were strikingly different in appearance. Peter with his classically handsome face and build like a football player. Ryan with his edgier style sporting a five o’clock shadow and buzz cut.
“Ryan came to drop off Junior and he was just leaving,” Peter told her icily. After Ryan shot him a dirty look, he looked up at her. After a few seconds of a visual examination, a furious look took over his expression. He pushed past Peter and ran up the stairs.
“Alice, what the fuck? You look like hell.” Alice yearned for a time when people would tell her she’d looked amazing and not like hell each time they saw her. Ryan pulled her away from the stairwell and began examining her. Peter thundered up after him.
“You get your hands off of her or buddy I’m gonna break your arm,” Peter shot out in a deadly whisper.
“I’m not your buddy and someone better tell me what’s going on or I’m calling the police,” Ryan threatened.
“I’m fine,” she snatched her arms away from him.
“Then, why do you look like you’ve been run over from a truck? And what the hell are these scratches from?” His blue eyes were unyielding-he wasn’t leaving her until he got answers.
“It’s not what you think, seriously Ry, I’ve just been sick. I was actually going to see Daniel, but ended up feeling better by last night.”
“Get on your shoes, Alice. We’re going to the hospital,” he demanded. When she didn’t reply, he gave her an even and deadly look. “Now, Alice.”
“Hey asshole, don’t talk to my girlfriend like that. You don’t own her. She told you she’s fine, now leave.” Peter pushed between Ryan and Alice. With his left arm, Peter moved her behind him. He got right into Ryan’s face. Peter had about six inches on him and probably about 20 more pounds of muscle. There was no way in hell she was going to let him fight him.
“Both of you, just stop! This is ridiculous, I’m not a child. If I needed a doctor I would go to one, believe me.” She maneuvered between their bodies and turned to Peter. “Just give me a minute with him. Please.”
“Fine, whatever. I’ll be in the shower. He better be gone by the time I’m done.” He shot Ryan a disgusted look and pushed past them towards the bathroom. She saw Ryan clench his fists at his side, but was relieved that he held his tongue. She winced as the bathroom door slammed.
“Real charmer you got there, Alice,” Ryan said sarcastically. “What happened to your arms, Alice? If that fucker touched you, I swear to God…”
“No Ryan, that’s not what happened. It’s so stupid of me, I don’t even want to tell you,” she said shaking her head.
He tilted her chin up with his hand. She pushed down the thrill of his physical touch and instead focused her eyes on a point behind him on the wall. He commanded, “Tell me.”
“I drank on my medicine. I must have just experienced a serious bad reaction. I passed out and had a horrible nightmare. Apparently while I was sleeping, I got so worked up, I did this to myself. I was so sick afterwards, vomiting up everything in my stomach, headache, dizziness. I’ve been pretty much stuck in bed since it happened,” she lamented. Since he spent his days knee deep in vomit and snot, it kept her from feeling embarrassed by sharing her symptoms with him.
“Those are some serious effects. How much did you drink?” Ryan put his best medical voice on. It was hard to take him serious in his typical Sunday attire of ripped jeans and a concert t-shirt.
“I don’t know, just a couple of glasses of wine, I think. I just don’t want to go to the hospital because I’m embarrassed. Not to mention, I haven’t told Peter that I’m taking something for the depression.” She folded her arms across her chest.
He looked at her skeptically. “Alice, I never heard of someone reacting like that after having a couple of drinks on antidepressants. The dangers of drinking on antidepressants are that you could become tired and experience a blood pressure spike. Some doctors even permit the occasional drink.”
“Why would I lie to you, Ry? That’s what happened,” she stated firmly. She threw a glance over her shoulder at the bathroom door. “Thanks for bringing Junior by. I’m sure you’re bummed to not have him anymore, but it’s good to have him home.”
“So, that’s it? You’re dismissing me?” He shook his head and gave her a disbelieving stare.
“Well, what else is there to say? I told you what has been going on and I feel much better today. I’m not going to drink anything while on the pills and I’ll talk to my therapist this week about maybe switching medications. I had to cancel with her this week because I was so sick to my stomach.”
He blew out an angry breath. “This is what you want, Alice? Some dick who tries to control you, tells you who you’re allowed to talk to. What happened before doesn’t need to define you. It’s horrible, I know. But you have your whole life in front of you and you deserve to be happy.”
She heard the shower turn off. “Ryan, just go. Peter is just trying to look out for me. Don’t make this harder on me. You have Bethany now-she should be your concern, not me.”
“You know what, Alice, keep painting me as the villain. One day you’re going to need to wake up and face reality.” Before she could reply, he darted down the stairs and out of the apartment. Junior ventured out from under the kitchen table to bark at his departure. She came down to her knees and rubbed his ears. A few minutes later, Peter exited the bathroom wearing only a towel.
He walked over to her leaving behind a trail of water. “Well, what did you say to him?”
“I told him that I’ll be fine and that he doesn’t need to worry about me anymore.”
Peter nodded satisfied. “I didn’t mean to come off like an ass, but I just don’t think he deserves to suddenly act like he gives a shit about you. If he cared so much, why did he leave? Now he’s interested again when you have a new boyfriend?”
“Peter, let’s not talk about him. I’m just so tired,” she said weakly. She grabbed his hand. “It’s Sunday, let’s go back to bed.”
“I thought you were feeling better?” he looked at her skeptically.
“I am, I just don’t feel like fighting about Ryan. We have the whole day together and look Junior isn’t even bugging out about you. We could relax for a bit then take him to the park,” she suggested.
“I don’t want to argue about Ryan either. The guy just gets under my skin and I’m not going to let him play head games with you. I’ve been the one here for you and I’ll be here for you as long as you let me,” he said earnestly.
“I know you have and I really don’t know what I would do without you,” she smiled at him. He could say just the right things sometimes. Whenever she had doubts and thought about the night at the stairwell, she would counter h
er misgivings with all the niceties he had done over the past couple of months.
“Come here,” he invited her into his arms. He smelled delicious and she couldn’t help breathing his scent in. His arms felt strong and safe surrounding her. She wondered at how she got to this point after only a few months of dating? Why had she allowed herself to rely on Peter so much already? He had proven to be unpredictable, but here she was completely dependent on him. With her mother miles away, Ryan with another girl and Jennifer’s calls unreturned she seemed to have nobody without Peter. “I’ve missed you this week.” She felt him harden against her thigh. A mixture of dread and lust coursed through her.
“Me too,” she said into his chest. He smiled and led her into the bedroom.
Chapter Seventeen
“You stupid bitch! I hate you and him! How can anyone ever love you? You’re so pathetic! You just let this piece of shit walk all over you. It’s so sad…you’re so sad.”
Alice flew out of bed. The room was dark and she found herself completely disoriented. Her heart pounded in her chest and she couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t tell if the words that were screamed at her were real or part of a dream. As her body trembled, she feared she was dying. She noticed the sleeping figure of Peter next to her. “Peter, wake up!”
Seconds passed by and she still couldn’t get a grip on things. She felt completely disconnected from reality. Peter finally stirred. “Alice, what’s going on? What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know,” she wheezed. “Maybe I’m having a heart attack.”
He came over to her and gently rubbed her back. “Alice, just calm down. Breathe in and out slowly. You’re not having a heart attack.”
“Someone was screaming at me,” she cried. “Saying the ugliest things. I couldn’t see their face, but I knew they wanted to hurt me. I don’t know why I keep having these nightmares.”