Box of Hearts (The Connor's Series Book 1)

by Nikki Ashton

  “Millie, I’ve been castrating calves since I was thirteen years old. I could do it with my eyes closed. A late night in Knightingale isn’t going to hurt me.”

  “No, but that horrible nut nicking contraption might if you’re tired.”

  Jesse’s dropped his menu and grinned at me. “’Nut nicking contraption’? Shit, Millie, where do you get this stuff?”

  “Well I don’t know what it is,” I grumbled, lifting my own menu. “What is it called, anyway?”

  “It’s a Burdizzo, but to be honest, I’m liking nut nicker. I dread to think what you call the dehorner ‘contraption’.” He laughed softly and continued reading his menu.

  “I know that’s a hot iron,” I said proudly.

  “Yeah, and how on earth do you know that, sweetness?”

  I looked up at him and sighed. How could one man turn me to a hot, needy mess just by calling me sweetness?

  “Well? Or is it a secret?” He smiled over the top of the laminated pictures of burgers, ribs and fries.

  “Oh, sorry, Garratt told me,” I replied, quickly pulling myself from my Jesse daydream.

  “Yeah well, I could work both the Burdizzo and the Hot Iron perfectly well, on two hours sleep if I had to.”

  I sat back in my seat and watched him decide on what to eat. His brow furrowed with deep concentration while his hair fell boyishly over his forehead. He looked handsome and sexy, as his tanned biceps flexed under the sleeves of his plain white t-shirt.

  “Keep looking at me like that, Armalita, and we’ll be going home with empty bellies,” he said in a low voice without looking at me.

  “How do you know I’m looking at you? You’re reading the menu.”

  He looked up at me and there was a twinkle in his eyes. “Because your breath hitched and I felt you push your thighs together.”

  God, he was right, and calling me out on it had only increased the throbbing between my legs.

  “I can’t help it,” I sighed, dreamily. “You’re too beautiful not to look at.”

  Jesse let out a laugh and, lifting up from his chair, reached a hand across the table to the back of my neck. He captured it and pulled me to meet him before kissing me softly and nibbling at my bottom lip.

  “I think you’ll find you’re the beautiful one,” he whispered before flopping back into his seat. “I think I’ll get the Tower burger, what about you?”

  “I’m going to get the same.” I put the menu down on the table and looked up to see Jesse grinning. “What?”

  “A Tower burger? You know how big that thing is, right?”

  He reached for my hand across the table and took my fingertips in his, while his other hand played with the sugar dispenser.

  “Yes, your mum and I came in for coffee when we went shopping, and there was a guy eating one. It looked really nice, so I asked Cynthia what it was.”

  “You think you’ll eat it?” Jesse asked incredulously.

  “Well, you obviously don’t think I will.”

  Jesse sat back in his chair, keeping a hold of my hand. “I know you won’t.”

  My eyes widened and my mouth gaped open. “Jesse Connor, that’s practically a bet.”

  “No way, I’m not taking your money from you.”

  “You may not win, and anyway, who said I was going to bet money on it?”

  I gave him a cheeky wink, kicked off my shoe, and lifted my foot to brush it up the inside of his thigh. Jesse’s eye’s darkened and his breathing became labored as I edged my foot further up his leg.

  “You sure you know what you’re doing?” he asked, his grip tightening on the sugar.

  I nodded. “Yep.”

  “So,” he grunted out on a deep exhale. “What’s this wager going to be?”

  I licked my lips while I pretended to think about it. I already knew what I was going to offer as my stake.

  “Okay,” I finally said. “I eat it all, you have to give me a lap dance back at your cabin later. If I don’t eat it, then I give you one.”

  I pushed my bare foot against Jesse’s rock hard cock and gave it a rub before pulling back. As I did, Jesse grabbed it and held it against his hardness. His jaw was tight and I could see that he was having difficulty keeping control; I loved it.

  “That’s a no lose situation,” he said, moving my foot up and down his length. “If I dance for you or you dance for me, I still get to fuck you afterwards.”

  I shrugged. “Not all bets have to be a poor investment.”

  “You are the most…”

  Before he had time to finish, a woman I didn’t recognize bounced over. She was probably in her mid-thirties, but the lines creased around her mouth and eyes meant she could have been older. Her waitresses’ uniform was unbuttoned a little too low, displaying a neon green bra that pushed her chest almost to her chin.

  “Jesse, honey. How ya doin’?” she asked, flicking her tongue along her top lip.

  She’d obviously read somewhere that it was a sexy move, but it had no effect on Jesse, whose eyes remained on me. His hand was still clutching mine, but neither that nor Jesse’s apparent lack of interest bothered her.

  “Not seen you since Founders Day,” she giggled, landing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing it.

  Jesse looked up at her and flashed a quick smile before gently shrugging away her hand.

  “Hey. Janet, been busy,” he answered. “So, we’ll have two Tower burgers, fries, and salad.”

  “You going to Rowdy’s later? It’s open mic night.”

  No, she was still openly panting for him, despite his brush off.

  “Not sure, depends what Millie wants to do.”

  Jesse nodded towards me, and finally Janet noticed me. Her smile slipped momentarily when she noticed our joined hands, but it was quickly back when she turned her attention to Jesse.

  “Thought maybe we could get together some time. It’s been a while.”

  Jesse’s nostrils flared and I felt nauseous at what that meant. Surely he hadn’t slept with Janet? Angie I understood; she was an attractive, if not a little bit brassy, girl. But Janet was definitely older and apart from the huge breasts, wasn’t particularly attractive. Her bleached hair was the color and texture of straw, and besides the lines of a well lived life, she had poor skin and uneven teeth. Yep, it was official; I was a nasty, jealous bitch!

  Jesse looked up at her. “Janet, I don’t want to be rude, but you can see I’m here with my girl, so if you wouldn’t mind taking our order and then leaving us alone.”

  That still didn’t do it and Janet giggled, poking Jesse in the arm. “You always was a kidder. So, Rowdy’s, you gonna sing, darlin’? And then maybe we can get a beer together.”

  I could see that any control Jesse was holding on to had now firmly disappeared. He let go of my foot under the table and gently pried his other hand from mine. Turning in his seat so that his knees almost touched Janet’s, he took a deep breath.

  “Okay, I’m sorry about this, but you obviously aren’t getting what I’m saying.” He paused, giving her time to respond. When she didn’t, he continued. “We had one night over a year ago, a night that you know full well was when I was a mess in my head. I told you then and I’m telling you now, it was a one-time thing and would not and will not be happening again.”

  I held my breath as I watched the exchange, wishing that Janet would just turn and leave to get our order. The way she was looking at Jesse told me that whatever scrap of hope she had, she was going to hang onto it until the very last. There was a need in her eyes, a look that I was sure was in my own more often than not. She was in love with him. One night had given her that, and she couldn’t give it up.

  “We had a good time,” she protested, still smiling, but it was more forced now.

  “Janet,” he sighed. “It’s not going to happen. I’m with Millie, who to be honest, you’re kinda disrespecting by doing this.”

  Janet glanced at me and her smile finally slipped.

  “Now, do you wa
nt to go and get our orders, with two beers, so I can enjoy a meal with my girl before I take her over to Rowdy’s to drink and dance and maybe sing, then depending how things go with the food, there’s going to be some more dancing back at my cabin, and well, then you can guess what happens next. Do I make myself clear?”

  Janet looked between us and then nodded. “Two beers and two Tower burgers with fries. Gotcha.”

  Then she was gone.

  “You sing?” I asked.

  Jesse stared at me and burst out laughing. “Everything that just went down, and all you took away was me singing?”

  “Really, you sing?” I breathed.

  “Yep and play guitar, why?” he asked, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

  “Oh shit, I may need fresh knickers.”

  Jesse roared with laughter again, then reached forward and took my mouth in a long, sweet kiss and bang went another brain cell.

  Jesse

  Sweet fucking Jesus, she ate every damn bit and I have no damn clue where she put it all. The last few mouthfuls were a struggle, I could tell. She practically had to push the last bite in, but props to her, she did it. Shit, that meant I was going to have to give her a lap dance! Never mind, I could do that knowing what I’d get afterwards.

  “You sure you want to go to Rowdy’s?” I asked as Millie unbuttoned her jeans and groaned.

  “Hmm, yep.” She breathed heavily and took a huge gulp of water. “Just give me a few minutes.”

  I started to laugh and waved to Janet for the check. Thankfully, she’d delivered our food without saying much else, other than asking if we needed any relishes. Yeah, she’d been one massive mistake when my head was fucked over Melody, but that was how I used to get through the days; sleeping around, getting drunk, and ignoring my family, especially Addy. At least I’d come through that and things were changing for the better.

  “Okay,” I announced. “You’ve had long enough, I’m taking you dancing to work off some of that food. I don’t want you falling into a meat coma later.”

  Millie gave me a small smile quickly followed by a grimace. “I may lose my jeans, I don’t think I can fasten them.”

  “I’ll help you when we get outside,” I replied in all innocence.

  “Yeah, I’ll bet you will,” she scoffed.

  At that moment, Janet appeared and quietly placed the check on the table. I picked it up and fished my wallet from my back pocket, thumbing a couple of twenties and a ten out, placing them on the check; a good tip was the least I could do after what I’d said to her.

  “I want to pay,” Millie protested, fishing around in her purse.

  “Nope, not a chance. Now shift that sweet ass, we’ve got dancing to do.”

  When we got over to Rowdy’s, the place was starting to fill up. It was Saturday night and most people, unlike me, didn’t have work the next day. With Millie’s hand in mine, I moved through the locals that were gathered and pushed to the bar.

  “Hey, Janelle, busy night,” I stated.

  Janelle smiled and threw a bar cloth over her shoulder. “It’s open mic’ night, and it’s a Saturday, never changes. So, what can I get you, honey?”

  “Two beers, but make one light would you?”

  Janelle nodded and reached into the refrigerator for two beers; she popped the caps and placed them on the bar.

  “You singing tonight?” she asked, taking the money I handed over.

  I glanced at Millie, who was still holding my hand but was talking to Cynthia and Tommy.

  “Maybe, depends how much I need to impress the lady,” I said, nodding my head to the side.

  Janelle looked down to see Millie’s hand in mine. “Wow,” she said with a huge smile. “That’s a change. For the better.”

  “We’re just taking it slow,” I replied.

  “Pleased for you, honey. But, hey, didn’t she come in here with Brandon a few weeks back?”

  My back stiffened and my grip on Millie tightened.

  “Yeah, it was just a date.”

  “Well whatever. Like I said, pleased for you, Jesse. Okay, Frank what can I get you?”

  With that, Janelle moved a little further down the bar to the next customer in her section.

  “You okay?” Millie asked, placing a hand on my forearm.

  “I’m fine.” I forced a smile and passed her a beer. “Let’s go find a table.”

  I hated that she’d been on a date with Brandon, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it now. I just dreaded telling my buddy that there would be no more dates, because Millie was mine now.

  We were lucky to find a high table free, right next to the small dance and stage area. But, as soon as we sat down, I wished it hadn’t been vacant. At the next table was Angie and another girl, Wanda, who had been on the cheerleading squad with Melody. I sat Millie with her back to them; if Angie decided to pull any shit I wanted to be the first to see it coming. I nodded at her and sat down once I knew that Millie was comfy.

  “It’s really busy in here,” Millie said, leaning closer to me. “Is everyone here just to hear you sing?”

  “Hah, doubt it,” I laughed. “I can throw a tune out, but I’m not some local celebrity, you know.”

  She had a wicked glint in her eye as she quickly glanced over her shoulder. “Amongst the ladies you are. Any more likely to creep out of the woodwork tonight?”

  Thankfully, she was smiling, so she wasn’t upset – at least I hoped not.

  “No baby, no more.”

  I dropped a kiss to her shoulder and thanked God that I’d only shit on my own doorstep twice; the other women I’d slept with over the last two years lived out of town.

  We talked and laughed for a while, all the time I kept an eye on Angie, but apart from throwing me the stink eye occasionally, she behaved herself and I was grateful she wasn’t spoiling our night. The more time I spent with Millie like this, the deeper I was falling. She was fun to be with, not caring about laughing at herself, or me for that matter. Too many women that I’d been with tried to be something they weren’t, but not Millie. We’d laughed hysterically when she’d belched the alphabet for me; some friend of hers had taught her apparently – go figure.

  A few people had started dancing when a slow number came on and I knew it was an opportunity to have her in my arms.

  “Wanna dance, Miss?” I asked, holding out my hand as I got up from my seat.

  Millie gave me the most beautiful smile and nodded.

  I led her onto the dancefloor, and all eyes were upon us. Most folk around here would probably be thinking she was another of my one night stands, but some, like Janelle, those who knew me, would know this was something more. They’d know because they’d seen us talking and laughing and being affectionate. I was never like this with Janet or Angie. They were lucky to get three words from me, which were usually ‘just one night’. The eyes of Angie, on the other hand, were probably crossed with being so bat shit crazy mad at me.

  As I pulled Millie into my arms and we swayed to Ed Sheeran’s ‘Thinking Out Loud’, I listened carefully to the words, and the face in my mind was Millie’s. The thought that it wasn’t Melody took my breath away, but she would never be the one I grew old with, could never be. Millie could, and the fact that I wanted her to be, scared the shit out of me

  Millie

  Once the Ed Sheeran song had finished, I expected Jesse to lead us back to the table, but he held me tight as Elvis started crooning ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love’. I thought my heart had stopped beating when Jesse started singing along, his raspy voice deep and melodic in my ear. I could not think any more of this than him just singing along to a classic song. I would not think any more of it. But how could I not let my heart just have a little hope?

  He was starting to mean everything to me; he was the man who I could see all my tomorrow’s with, the one I wanted to share my future with. My Grandma Armalita always said that I would know when I’d met the man worthy of trusting my life with, and for a time I’d t
hought that was Dean. As time had gone on, I realized that we didn’t have that deep, passionate love that pulls you by the seat of your pants through life. I now know why, but at the time I thought we were comfortable and lacking in spontaneity because we were so attuned to each other.

  With Jesse things were immeasurably different right from the first moment I saw him. There was the amazing sex for a start, and the fact that he obviously liked women and not men, but it was more than that. The chemistry and passion were evident, but he took my breath away with every look, every touch, and every word. I was falling more in love with him every day, and while he wasn’t at that place, I knew that I couldn’t give him up. I was just like Angie and Janet; in love with a man whose heart was with a dead woman, and just like them, I couldn’t give up hope. Hope was still all I had.

  “Your voice is beautiful,” I whispered.

  Jesse laughed quietly. “I’m beautiful, my voice is beautiful. Shit, my head will be too big to get out of the door soon.”

  “Well, you do have some faults,” I sighed.

  “Oh yeah, and what are they?” he asked, pulling me closer as another slow song kicked in.

  “You’re grumpy before you have your first cup of coffee,” I answered. “Oh and you’re bossy, and you hate losing at cards to your four year old daughter.”

  Jesse’s head went back as he let out a deep belly laugh. “Okay, I’ll try and work on those areas for you, ma’am.”

  “Good,” I sighed and snuggled back against him.

  His body was hard from working on the ranch, but even the softest pillow wasn’t as comfortable as laying my head on his chest. I breathed in his scent and linked my arms around his narrow waist. As we danced in one spot, Jesse bent his head to my ear.

  “What do you want me to sing to you, baby?” he asked softly, smoothing down my hair.

  “Anything.” I looked up at him, my chin resting against his chest. “But you don’t have to, I just got a personal rendition.”

  “Ah, but that wasn’t a song of your choice, or mine for that matter.”