Hard Focus

by MariaLisa deMora

  “Okay, then.” He thrust a hand out to Alden who shook it, looking confused. “I’ll go. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  “Why did you come?” After how he reacted once he’d realized who she was, Connie felt justified in asking the question.

  “Like I said, I just wanted to make sure you’re good.”

  “How do you know Alden and Taylor?” She reacted to Taylor’s warning squeeze around her shoulder. “No, Tay, I’m not getting upset. I just want to know how you know each other.”

  “It’s work-related, Connie.” Alden shook his head. “That’s all I can say.”

  “Why are you here?” She turned her gaze back to Cole and watched as the corners of his mouth turned down. “You saved me, and for that, I will be forever thankful. I’ll make a donation to whatever charity you want. I’ll write a letter to your boss or the mayor. I’m that grateful. But,” she leaned forwards slightly, “why are you here?”

  “Judy told me you had something to say that I should hear.” Connie blinked. “Judy.” She shook her head. “The ER nurse? That Judy?”

  Connie remembered how the friendly caring of the nurse had changed once she knew Connie’s association with Jonas, and then how it had changed again once she told her she’d broken up with him. That has to be it. Decided, she moved forwards with the information she thought he’d come to hear. “I broke up with him. Nearly two weeks ago now. Days before the wreck. I broke up with him.”

  Taylor made a surprised sound, then asked, “What does this have to do with your jerk of a boyfriend?”

  “Cole’s sister was his ex.” Even as she spoke them, Connie wondered how those words would explain anything, then Cole took it a step farther, his words even more bewildering to her.

  “She was dating Jonas Thompson.”

  Alden sounded like someone had punched him in the stomach and she looked at him. His face had gone gray and he was holding a hand out in front of him in a defensive move. Taylor’s reaction was also audible as he whispered, “Oh my God,” with none of his usual humor. She twisted to look at him. His eyes were wide, whites showing all around. “You were dating Jonas Thompson?” Connie nodded slowly. Taylor’s mouth flattened to a thin line. “You never said his name, and I didn’t ask. I just called him a jerk.” His gaze flew to Alden, and his next words confused her even more. “I swear I didn’t know, baby. I didn’t know.” Taylor’s arm loosened, and he was off the couch and beside Alden within two long strides. “I didn’t know it was him.”

  “Alden? What’s going on?”

  “Connie.” Cole called her name. “You really don’t know? Judy said you didn’t, but I…that’s just hard to believe.” Shaking her head, Connie dragged her gaze from Alden to Cole and saw he was back to studying her, his expression intense. He asked again, “You have no idea?”

  “No. I don’t know what’s going on.” Connie pulled the blanket around her shoulders, huddling into the illusion of warmth it offered. She felt naked, shaking, trembling as she sat there on the couch with three men staring at her in disbelief. “Someone, please. Tell me what’s going on.”

  “Audrey Stewart is my sister.”

  She nodded at Cole. “I know. But I don’t know what me dating Jonas has to do with anything.” Connie shrugged helplessly. “They share a child. That’s nothing to do with me.”

  “Don’t,” Alden said abruptly. “Don’t tell her like this.”

  Cole ignored him and took a step towards Connie. Balled fists on either hip, he glared at her with that hateful expression she was most accustomed to from him. “Jonas Thompson attacked and raped my sister.” She gasped, and he pulled in a ragged breath. “Adrianne, little innocent Addy. Addy who I love with every breath in my body, she’s the product of that rape. They weren’t dating, weren’t a thing. She didn’t even know him before he forced her. My sister is being made to share custody of that little girl with the animal who assaulted her. The most heinous act a man can do, and you were dating him as if he were normal. Just like any other man. He’s not, though. He’s a monster.”

  Connie stared at him for a moment, mouth open in shock.

  Jonas raped Audrey. The thought circled round and round inside her head without finding anywhere to land. She felt lightheaded, dizzy as her breathing sped up. So many things suddenly made so much more sense.

  The fear she could sense from Audrey.

  Why the door didn’t open until someone was there to stand between her and the man standing on her front sidewalk.

  The disdain the Stewarts held for Connie.

  Even Adrianne’s tentative manner around Jonas made sense. His complaints that Addy only opened up when Connie was there. His demand that Connie be available on the weekends of visitation. How his visitation would be curtailed if he didn’t toe the letter of the law.

  The controlled rage of Audrey’s brothers, forced to witness their sister’s repeated interactions with the man who had hurt her, but unable to retaliate any other way.

  Jonas raped Audrey.

  Connie’s mind flew to her last interactions with him. How angry he’d been at her. He’d threatened her, followed her, forced his way into her apartment. He’d been filled with an anger he’d physically directed at her. Connie rubbed her wrist, flinching at the faint ache of the bruising.

  Jonas raped Audrey.

  Oh, God. I’m going to be sick. Her stomach lurched and, throat burning, she forced the bile back down.

  “Out.” She flung the covers aside and stood abruptly, pointing towards the door. “Everyone out. I want everyone to leave.”

  “Connie.” Taylor started to speak, and she silenced him with a shout.

  “Out!” I was dating a man who raped a woman. “Get out, Taylor.”

  Oh, God. I slept with him.

  “I’m not leaving.” Alden’s voice was firm, and she whirled on him, staggering sideways as she tried to recapture her abruptly elusive balance. Nothing made sense, and the room reeled around her.

  “Get out. Get out now.” She placed both hands against Alden’s shoulder and shoved. I sympathized with him. “Get out.”

  “We’re not leaving you like this.” Taylor was behind her and he tried to wrap his arms across her chest. She gripped his wrists and flung them away, turning and backing away. “Connie, what’s going on?”

  “Get out!” I was the girlfriend he shoved into the face of that woman. “Go.” Someone he’d hurt so badly. Forgetting about the bandage covering the stitches behind her ear, she raked her fingers through her hair, crying out in pain as the tape pulled free. “Please, God. Get out. Go away.”

  Her back hit something solid and immovable, and beside her head, she heard the deep voice from her dreams, soothing and calming her. “I’ve got you.” Arms swept under her knees and behind her back and she was lifted from the ground.

  She thumped him on the chest as she shouted, “Let go. Put me down.”

  Looking up, she saw Cole’s neck and chin as he stared at Alden. She remembered his voice coming from behind Audrey’s door. “That woman.” He swallowed hard, the muscles in his neck moving, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down with whatever emotion plagued him. Connie twisted and pushed, shoving to try and regain her feet. His arms tightened and he barked, “Dammit, Alden. Where’s her bedroom?” Alden’s arm lifted and pointed, and without another word, Cole turned and stalked up the short hallway, angling through the open door. It closed behind him and he bent to place her on the edge of the mattress.

  Connie lunged to her feet only to encounter his hand on her shoulder as he shoved her back down. “Sit.”

  “Get out.” Instead of a shout, her words escaped as more of a whimper. Her voice shook as she ordered, “Get out now.”

  “Not going anywhere until you calm down.” He reached for her. “You pulled out a couple of stitches.” Something tickled her neck and his hand came back bloody. “Let me take care of you.”

  “Why? Oh, God. Why would you be nice to me? I was dating him. That man
.” She couldn’t even bring herself to say Jonas’ name. “He hurt her, your sister. Why would you be nice to me?”

  “Because you didn’t know.” He stated this calmly, as if ignorance absolved her of any wrongdoing. “Let me get my first aid kit.” He stood and grabbed a handful of tissues from the box on her nightstand. He pressed them into her hand and guided her to put pressure on the painful area behind her ear. “Hold that tight. It’ll stop the bleeding.” Staring into her eyes, he told Connie, “I’ll be right back.” A pause, then softly, he said, “I’ve got you.”

  ***

  Connie quietly closed the lid on her laptop, leaning over the side of the bed to rest it on the floor. Eyes burning, she lay on her side, knees curled to her chest, chin pressed tight to her throat. Without really seeing it, or anything, she stared at a tiny scuff mark on the bedroom wall.

  Connie had been holed up inside her bedroom for hours. The weak thumb lock was surely the smallest deterrent, but it was all she had to keep Taylor and Alden out. Cole had come back in before she’d had the idea, and he’d cleaned up the small amount of blood from the ripped stitches, removing the broken strands of thread from her scalp and replacing them with tiny pieces of tape. Connie hadn’t looked at him, kept her chin angled down and away, and closed her eyes when he lifted her chin.

  “You’ll be okay,” he’d said in his deep, graveled voice, and then walked out without giving her a chance to offer thanks, quietly closing the door behind him.

  His voice had rumbled in her living room for a moment, and the instant she’d heard Taylor’s footsteps headed her way, she’d jumped from the side of the bed to the door, twisting the lock. Taylor hadn’t argued much, just rattled the handle and then promised her through the door, “I’ll be right here.” She knew he hadn’t left, even though silence had descended on the apartment after Alden went home.

  Still sleepless, about midnight Connie had the idea about researching Jonas online. She’d spent six hours digging through a variety of information and documents, all public record. It all was readily available, and when assembled into a chronological narrative, told the entire story.

  First were a series of legal notifications about the crime itself. The police blotter, a daily log of all calls taken by the police department, had noted a female in distress calling from her apartment. Then an entry noting the dispatch of an ambulance to the same address.

  A brief news article the next day about a possible rape occurring at a downtown dance club, the same one where she’d met Jonas. She’d shivered at the idea. The news media posted distorted security footage of the bathroom hallway and called for anyone who could identify the suspect in the attack. It showed a female figure going in alone, followed a few seconds later by a male figure who glanced furtively over his shoulder just before opening the door. The camera had only caught his profile, but Connie convinced herself she could tell it was Jonas.

  Another news report dated a few weeks later stated the police had failed to locate a suspect, but declined to give out any additional details on the case. There was an election cycle in progress, and the news feeds were clogged with reports of candidates posturing and controversial stances over causes designed to have a reaction from the public.

  Eight and a half months later, there had been a two-line birth announcement for infant girl Stewart in the newspaper, no father noted in the record.

  Just over a year later, there’d been a huge outcry over various charges leveled against a dozen influential politicians, officials, and high-profile citizens who’d gotten caught up in false accusations resulting from DNA profiling without their permission. Hidden behind that series of articles about the evil of personal medical data in the wrong hands were three arrests. Three men who had raped women, and left behind samples of their DNA in the form of living children. One of them was listed as Jonas Thompson, charged with five counts of rape. The DNA used to identify him had also pinged against DNA in a number of other rape cases.

  A couple of months later, there had been an anonymous interview of one of the women involved. She’d stated the authorities had not asked permission to use her child’s DNA in any database search, but because she’d qualified for medical care under an act intended to help victims of violent crime, they had forced the matter to try and identify her child’s father.

  The trial was strung out for more than a year as the defense attorney tried everything to get the case thrown out. He couldn’t argue against the validity of the DNA, so he instead attacked the victim Connie now knew was Audrey in every possible way. Excerpts posted in online blogs made it sound particularly brutal. Connie knew that every rape accusation came with scrutiny of the victim, but the viciousness in this examination was horrendous.

  Finally, Jonas had been found guilty and sentenced to five years in prison.

  Adrianne was over four years old when he went into jail. She was not yet five when he was released on parole.

  Six months later there was a summary judgment in family court awarding joint parental rights to Jonas.

  That had been two months after Connie met him.

  She blinked.

  How did something like this even happen?

  Why hadn’t she seen the signs? What were the signs that the man you were dancing with was a convicted felon?

  Eyes burning, she’d stared at the wall until she couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer.

  That night, Connie dozed and dreamed she was walking along a sidewalk. Each man passing her had a placard around his neck with various labels. One read “Good kisser.” Another proclaimed “Calls his mother.” The next man who passed her didn’t look any different, but his sign read “Killed his baby sister.” The man behind him was “Kicks dogs.” The next was “Raped Audrey.” She stopped stock-still and looked up at the man’s face to see Jonas staring back at her.

  Connie woke with a gasp and rolled to her back, surprised to sense the presence of someone in bed with her. She looked over to see Taylor lying on top of the comforter, eyes wide open as he stared back at her. The expression on his face was a mix of worry tinged by fear, and before she could say anything, he shook his head.

  “Cheapest locks on the planet. Took me like three seconds to pop it when I was ready to come in.” Connie rolled her eyes, and he smirked at her, but the expression faded fast. “I don’t think you ever told me his whole name. I can’t remember you saying anything other than just his first name and for some reason that didn’t resonate with me. I didn’t have any cause to think…Alden talked about his case, but I didn’t put two and two together. I’m so sorry, Connie.”

  “Why are you sorry?” She pushed up in bed and plumped a pillow before placing it behind her shoulders. “I’m the one with the terrible taste in boyfriends.”

  Taylor mirrored her position and reached out, taking her hand in his. One by one he slowly threaded his fingers through hers, then clasped her hand tightly. “It scares me sometimes.” Connie waited, knowing this was just the opening statement for whatever was eating at him. “How vulnerable you are. How vulnerable my sister might be.” Taylor was the baby of his family, with an older brother and sister. “You’re both physically weaker; it’s a fact of life. I mean, you’re like a buck and a half soaking wet, and if you run into a guy who’s a bad dude, he could really hurt you.” Taylor twisted and glanced at her face, then back down at their joined hands, corners of his mouth downturned. “Thompson could have hurt you. I knew who he was and what he was capable of, but didn’t know enough to warn you off.”

  “Would you have told me? If I’d come home from the club the night I met him and talked about him, would you have told me if I’d mentioned his name?”

  “Hell, yeah. No doubts.”

  “Then you aren’t to blame for anything. And he didn’t hurt me.” Taylor released his grip and traced the bruises around her wrist with one fingertip. “He didn’t, Taylor.”

  “He could have. He’s hurt people before.”

  “I looked him up online
.” Taylor raised an eyebrow and Connie rushed to reassure him. “Not before, but tonight. I had no idea. I’d never even googled his name. First, we were just dating, and then when things got a little more serious, I think I believed I knew him. Trusted in my instincts, you know?” Taylor nodded. “But look at how wrong I was. How could I be so wrong?”

  “Well, for one you aren’t psychic.” He stared at Connie as she wrinkled her nose at him. “Seriously. You met him in a public place and hit it off. It’s not easy to get to know someone while simultaneously distrusting they are who they seem to be. With online dating, we know a lot about what they want to share, and set-ups are usually friends recommending other friends. Meeting in a club like that? It can be a crapshoot. Plus, if it wasn’t for Alden, I wouldn’t even know where to go to get a real background check. Half the online things are just scams looking for suckers to plug in a credit card number. It’s not part of our normal process for dating, right?”

  “Right, but even without the papers or data to tell me ‘oh, hey, this is a bad guy, you might want to avoid him,’ why didn’t my gut tell me something was wrong?” She sighed, pushing out the air in her lungs on a huff. “It’s like my radar is bad.”

  “Or maybe he’s just good at hiding who he is?” Taylor shrugged. “I don’t see where this is your fault. Sure, it’s more likely now that you would ask the next guy, ‘hey are you a closet rapist?’ But back then? Why would you?” He tightened his grip on her fingers and shook her hand up and down. “And even if you had, would a guy like him admit to being a bad actor? Again, unlikely. I say we sort out what the real lessons are here and toss the self-recrimination aside.”

  “How much do you know about what he did?” Connie worked her jaw side to side, chewing on the inside of her bottom lip. “About what he did to Audrey?”

  “Not much. Just what Alden’s shared, but he tries not to bring all the ugly details home. When we talk about things, it’s mostly about how a case is making him feel.” He looked at her. “Why?”