Hard Focus

by MariaLisa deMora

  “He raped her in the same club where I met him. Did you know that?” Taylor fingers tightened around hers painfully until she winced. “Yeah, my reaction, too. Is my tendency to go everywhere in a group the only reason it didn’t happen to me?”

  “You can’t do that what-if game with yourself. It’s not healthy.”

  “But isn’t that a valid lesson? Would things have been different if I’d been less cautious and headed somewhere, anywhere by myself? Sure I might never know, but it couldn’t have hurt that me and my friends are all careful. I mean—” She pointed towards the door. “—even when you and I are coming in from the pool during summertime, you think nothing of riding an extra couple of floors to make sure I get into my apartment safely. What if we could tell other women all these super easy precautions to take? Would it make a difference? Maybe that’s what I need to have as a take-away from this. Maybe it’s to teach others?”

  “Maybe, Connie.” He slipped down to lay on the comforter and she followed, rolling on her side to face him. “Maybe that’s what you do. Maybe that’s how you move forwards from this.”

  “Maybe. It feels like I have to do something. I know how lucky I was, Tay. With that knowledge, I can’t just toss all this aside and call it good luck.” She folded her hands under the edge of her pillow and stared at him. “I can’t just stand by for this to happen to someone else. I have to do something.”

  ***

  Cole

  He ran a hand through his hair, snarling at the dark. Restless, Cole turned to his side and stared at the glowing numbers on the face of his phone. His mind raced, thoughts and ideas crowding his head. “Dammit,” he muttered, flopping on his back, this change in position the third in as many minutes.

  Swinging his legs off the side of the mattress, he propped his elbows on his knees, face buried in his palms. Fingernails scratching at his scalp, he scrubbed them across his cheeks for a moment, working at the skin until it burned.

  He yawned so wide his jaw cracked, then dashed the wetness from his eyes.

  She hadn’t known.

  It didn’t seem right. Didn’t seem like it could be real. Something that had so impacted his family, torn his sister up from the inside out, bowed the backs of his parents with grief—and she’d had no idea.

  It wasn’t a small town, but they didn’t live in a city either. Hell, Audrey had found she could hardly step foot outside her house without running into someone who knew what had happened to her. And here was this woman, connected in a distant way, but still connected through her friends…and she’d heard nothing.

  How is that possible?

  Cole knew Audrey hadn’t wanted the notoriety of being a rape victim to color any part of her world, and he’d tried his best to make it happen for her. Still, everyone at the station knew. The staff at the hospital knew. Connie’s friend was Audrey’s lawyer, for Christ’s sake.

  All the energy he’d spent hating her for being with that asshole, and she hadn’t the first clue.

  He shook his head. That ain’t right. Something happened to Audrey that shouldn’t ever happen to a woman anywhere, and if asshole had his way, Cole suspected he would have done the same to Connie. Cole’s stomach twisted and he shot off the bed, walking to the window. Teasing the curtains to one side, he stared out at the houses across the street. Did anyone who lived next to the asshole know? Hell, even Cole didn’t know his neighbors well, those kind of friendly connections fell by the wayside with his job and demanding shifts.

  So much negative emotion aimed Connie’s direction, and she hadn’t earned any of it. The straight-shooter side of Cole wanted to figure out a way to make it right.

  The expression on her face haunted him, that moment when she figured out he wasn’t lying. When she heard the words and took it all in, understanding the meaning behind the sounds. Wrecked and devastated, she’d looked sick, horrified, and he could track the progress of her thoughts around to the what-if side of the tracks.

  I should talk to her, make sure she’s okay.

  His hand smoothed the curtains, closing out the night-shrouded street, allowing the houses to keep their secrets, whatever they might be.

  I’ll do that.

  Chapter Six

  “Cornelia Rowe, what are you doing here?” Connie stepped forwards and wrapped both arms around her little sister, tugging her close. “Oh my goodness, Nelly, it’s good to see you.”

  She’d been half-dressed for a planned lazy day at home when the doorbell had rung, and thinking it was Taylor come back to check on her, she’d thrown on a robe. He’d only left about an hour before. They’d talked through the night, and then made pancakes for breakfast, which turned into brunch when Alden had joined them midway through the morning.

  “Mom and Dad called, said they were delayed with dad’s work by at least a couple of weeks.” Nelly’s arms closed carefully around Connie’s ribs. “I told them I’d come and work my mojo on you, get you to come home instead.” Her arms tightened until Connie made a pained noise, her ribs and shoulder still complaining about the pounding she’d taken in the wreck. “Girl, you look like death on toast.”

  “Gee, thanks.” Connie laughed and closed her eyes, holding her little sister close.

  They’d grown up in a tiny house, shared an upstairs bedroom for years, and fought over closet space, bathroom time, and whose turn it was to pick out the movie of the week, but the two girls had been really close. If you hurt one, you needed to watch out for the other, because they always had each other’s backs. It was only when Connie had followed her dreams of college away from their hometown that they’d been separated for the first time, and it had taken Nelly years to get over her snit about it. From the stories their parents told, Nelly had missed having an anchor, drifting through school with the most generic of degrees, and hadn’t found her place in the world yet. Maybe sending her out here had a two-fold purpose.

  Connie gave her a final squeeze and then pulled back. “You look gorgeous as always. Come in, I’ve got the spare bedroom made up in case Mom and Dad wanted to stay here instead of a hotel. It’s ready for you, I guess.”

  “You aren’t mad it’s me and not them, are you?” Nelly looped her arm around Connie’s waist and walked beside her into the apartment.

  “Of course not, silly. I’m overjoyed to see you. It’s been far too long.” Connie steered them into the kitchen. “Where’s your luggage?”

  “In the hallway.” Nelly thumbed over her shoulder. “I figured in a place locked up like Fort Knox, it would be safe there for like five minutes.”

  “Probably.” Connie opened the refrigerator and took out a bottle of water. “How long can you stay?” She grabbed Nelly’s arm and gave it a squeeze. “I still can’t believe you’re really here. I’m so happy.”

  “Uh, did you not hear the mo-jo part where I’m supposed to bring you back home?” Nelly opened the bottle and saluted Connie with it before taking a long swallow. “That’s the plan, Stan. Not me staying here. You’ll see when we grab the bag, because I only packed for two days.”

  “I can’t. I go back to work on Monday.” Shaking her head, Connie leaned back against the island. “They’ve been very gracious and gave me a week off with pay, but I can’t ask for more. Work’s piling up, and the legal system doesn’t care if I had a little accident.”

  “Little accident?” Nelly bugged her eyes at Connie. “That was a full-on wreck, sister mine. Have you seen the videos?”

  “Mom and Dad haven’t, have they?” Connie was suddenly terrified, but then her better sense got back into control. “No, of course they haven’t, or they would be here now.”

  “That was some scary stuff, the way your car just lifted up like that? Why were you trapped in the car? I didn’t expect you to have to be rescued, but if you did, you at least had the good sense to have the rescue be by a handsome hunk of a guy.” Flashes of the night Cole came to her apartment poured through Connie’s mind, and for a moment she was swept up in the emotion of f
inding out about Jonas’ actions again. He raped Audrey. She closed her mouth tightly to still the quivering of her lips and pulled in a shaky breath. Not understanding, Nelly reached out and covered Connie’s hand, firming her grip. “Hey, hey, hey. Honey, we don’t have to talk about it.”

  “No, it’s okay.” Connie pulled her hand back and tucked it under her elbow to hide the quaking that wouldn’t stop. “I’ve seen all the footage, I think.” She shook her head. “The seat belt jammed. The fireman who saved me, Cole Stewart, he signed something with the insurance company about it. Called it a flaw of some kind. He used some kind of tool to cut it free. Cut me free.” Recounting the accident tripped a different switch inside her, building on the emotions swirling through her until she felt like she were drowning in the river’s water again. The trembling spread, climbing through her chest to her throat. In her mind, she saw the empty car floating in place against the south bridge’s column, then upending and going under, and not coming back up. That was the image that haunted her dreams. Connie bit her lips to try and still the motion and knew she was unsuccessful when Nelly closed in on her, arms out. “It was so scary, Nelly. I didn’t think…well, I’m just glad he was there.”

  “Me, too. God, I can’t imagine not having this conversation. Laughing about what happened.” She forced out a tiny laugh. “And day drinking until it’s really funny.”

  “Day drinking sounds perfect to me.” Connie returned to the refrigerator and brought out a bottle of wine. “I’ll show you where you’ll be sleeping, and then let’s waste no time getting set up in the living room.”

  “Deal. But I vote we start the drinking first, if my vote counts for anything.” Nelly walked to the cabinet closest to the stove and opened it, taking out two wine glasses. She paused and laughed. “Oh my God. That’s hilarious. I knew where the glasses were because you set up your kitchen just like home.”

  “Guilty.” Connie shrugged as she set a tray of snacks on the island, one of several Samantha Matthews had sent over. “Mom has a good system. I see no reason to let all her hard work and research go to waste.”

  “God, you’re a freak.” Nelly grinned at her, and Connie returned the expression.

  “Bigger freak.” She pointed to the door, lifting the wine and tray to follow Nelly into the living room.

  “Did you even grow up? You don’t act like you grew up at all. I’d expect someone who graduated from college and has a real job to act more like a grown-up.” Nelly snorted with laughter as she shook her head, throwing herself onto the couch. “Sorely disappointed in you.”

  They’d started on a second bottle when there was a knock at the door. Topics covered had ranged from their cousin three times removed coaching the local high school into what Nelly called the “football season debacle,” to an award their mother had received from the city council for work raising money to fund a foundation dedicated to helping survivors of first responders lost on the job. They’d covered Nelly’s college years, and what Connie had done since graduating, her job, and Nelly’s lack of one, which was driving their father crazy. The sisters had shared an eye roll at that, knowing how Big Tony felt about being productive.

  “You want to get that?” Nelly flicked a brightly painted nail at the door. “I’m not sure I can get up.”

  “It is my place. I should get the door.” Connie leaned forwards and set her glass on the coffee table, giggling when it took her a moment to settle it firmly on the surface. “Seems only right.”

  “Well then, only right, go answer and tell them you don’t want any.” She cocked her head to the side. “How would someone get up here anyway? Don’t they have to be given the code for the elevator?” That question set up an uneasy buzz in Connie’s gut, but she ignored it in favor of gaining her feet.

  “Yeah, but it’s probably Tay or Alden.”

  “Your gay neighbors.”

  “My neighbors. Their sexualized…sexual orientation doesn’t matter. They’re my friends, Nelly. Be nice.”

  “I’m always nice.” Nelly pouted and then crossed her eyes, and Connie laughed at the expression on her sister’s face.

  Whoever was at the door knocked again, and Connie called, “Coming. Keep your pants on, Taylor.” Silence. “Thanks.”

  “Want more wine?” She heard a clink of glass against glass and knew Nelly was already pouring.

  Shaking her head, she unlocked and opened the door, mouth open to greet Taylor. A broad chest was directly in front of her and Connie angled her head up to see Cole Stewart standing there instead of her friend. “You’re not Taylor.”

  “No, I’m not.” He paused and angled his head, sniffing once. “You have a closed head injury and are on pain medication. Are you drinking?”

  “I haven’t taken the pills. I don’t like them.” She waved her hand around her head. “And my head is fine. No more headache or anything.” He took a step forwards and she retreated. “They said it was mild, the head thing.” He took another step, and she lost her grip on the door when she took another matching step backwards. “Are you coming in?”

  “You’ve been drinking.” The flat statement held an edge of anger to it. With brusque motions, he retrieved a half-filled duffle from the hallway and then closed the door. She watched as he left the deadbolt unfastened.

  She pointed to it. “I always lock that.”

  “How much have you had to drink?” He leaned over and stared into her eyes. “Blink for me a couple of times.” She did and he nodded. “Okay.” Straightening to his full height, he looked down at her. “Do you have a minute to chat?”

  “My sister’s here.” His eyes flicked towards the living room and Connie saw a wash of relief cross his face. “Why does that make you feel better?”

  “Because I was afraid you were here alone, drinking, and opened your door without even looking to see who was on the other side.” She heard footsteps behind her and knew Nelly wasn’t waiting to see who had come to visit. Then Cole said the absolute worst thing he could have said, given her sister’s presence and Connie’s current plan on hiding everything about what had happened with Jonas. “It could have been that asshole, and you would have let him into your apartment. Taylor told me how he forced his way in once, and just now you opened your door to whoever was knocking. At least you have someone here.” He tipped his head behind her. “And from the look on her face, you haven’t told your sister anything.”

  “You’re worse than Taylor.”

  “Not sure that’s an insult.” Cole chuffed a laugh. “Not in this situation. Not if it gets you to pay attention to what matters.”

  “I like him. Hey, you’re familiar.” Nelly’s arm slipped around Connie’s waist, and she leaned heavily on Connie’s shoulder. “You’re the guy from the videos. The fireman.”

  “I am.” His lips curled crookedly, and Connie caught a flash of teeth behind his smile. “And you’re the sister.”

  “That’s me.” Nelly thrust her hand out and Cole met her palm with his. Connie felt a thread of jealousy wind through her chest. He hadn’t touched her since walking through her door, but here he was holding Nelly’s hand. “You and me are going to be besties. I need you to…” Nelly released Connie and leaned forwards, pulling Cole towards her with the retained grip on his hand. She stage-whispered the next part, and Connie felt her face flame with embarrassment. “Tell me everything about the asshole, so I can tell Daddy and he’ll put the fear of Jesus into him.”

  “Think your Dad could do that?” Cole’s smile was wider now, and that thread of jealousy thickened, growing stronger, because that was aimed Nelly’s direction, not hers. “He a magician? No one has managed it yet.”

  “Oh, yeah. Daddy’s been a cop for years and years. He’s going to have a field day with this when I tell him Connie’s been dating someone, and that someone’s an asshole as described by the hero fireman our parents both want Connie to marry and bear his children.”

  Cole’s head dropped back, and he laughed, corded strength of his
neck moving with the deep, amused sounds pouring from him. Even with that, when he righted himself, his eyes were somber, his gaze only for Connie and she felt pinned to the wall at the scrutiny. “Sounds like a deal to me.” Her belly warmed, and blood raced through her veins at what might be a declaration in other circumstances. Cole reached for her, and she realized he’d dropped Nelly’s hand at some point, because his palm was now cupping the back of her neck. “That’s an idea I’d definitely want to explore at some length.” His fingers squeezed. “But now’s not the time, and I know it.” He took a step closer, his heat radiating all along Connie’s body. “I just wanted to check on you, Connie.” She tipped her head up and her belly clenched when his gaze dropped to her mouth, slowly raking up her face to hold her eyes again. “I’m glad you’ve got family around you. Makes me feel better with how Jonas has gone off the deep end.”

  “What do you mean?” Her voice sounded strange, trembling and quiet.

  “He hasn’t picked up Addy in a couple of weeks. Probably since you broke up with him. Hasn’t called.” He shook his head. “When I asked a friend to check up on him, I found out he’s not keeping his PO appointments, either.”

  “PO?”

  “Probation officer. Not something a felon forgets if he wants to stay outside.”

  “Felon?” Now it was Nelly’s turn to sound strange, and her voice squeaked when she gasped out the one word.

  “You—” Connie turned to face Nelly, part of her mind registering how Cole didn’t lose his grip on her, but adjusted with her movement. “—are going to keep your big, fat, baby sister mouth shut.”

  “Baby sister?” Cole asked, at the same time Nelly shook her head saying, “Nuh uh. No, I’m not. You know what Dad would do to me if I keep my mouth shut on something like that? I’m not the one with a death wish.”

  “Yes, you are. You tell him, and I’ll kill you.” Connie took a breath. “Listen, Nelly, if you want to hear the story from me, it will only be with your promise you won’t tell Dad.”