Hard Focus

by MariaLisa deMora

  “Well, no.” Nelly tossed her hair. “That’s not the same.”

  “If a man stole a car and was arrested, would he have that car to drive around after he got out of jail?” Taylor pressed his case, and Connie loved him for that same persistence she knew was behind the successful rallies he’d planned.

  “No, of course not, it wasn’t his to start with.”

  “All we have to do is get people to apply that same thought process to the paternal rights in the case of rape.” Taylor nodded. “I think there’s something here I can create a campaign around. We could start with some stock photos of beautiful children, followed by simulated photos of battered women, then mockups of male models looking like they’re in police booking photos. Babies, victims, and mug shots. It would definitely make an impact.” His voice softened, slipping into a musing tone. “Something along those lines. Or a video clip of a car theft, chase and arrest, car returned to the owners, and then a picture of a child. All with voiceover and text.”

  Nelly grimaced. “What about maternal rights? Won’t you have to consider that, too?” She stared at them in turn, rolling her eyes at what Connie’s shocked expression. “No, it could happen, swear. Say some woman blue-pills a dude and rides him—”

  “Eww. Let’s not visualize that.” Connie shook her head and tried unsuccessfully to suppress a full-body shiver.

  “No, for real. I bet it’s happened. Does she have rights to the child she carried for however many months?”

  Alden walked into the kitchen and hooked a hand around Taylor’s hip, drawing him close. “We aren’t arguing maternal rights, because you’re right, that’s a different basket of crazy. In that situation, the intent could have been the pregnancy. In almost all cases of parental custody I’ve fought in court, the conception was not planned or intentional. It is usually either no protection or failed protection, but pregnancy was not the desired outcome.” He hummed and looked down at Taylor who smiled broadly, then Alden angled his gaze to Nelly. “I do like the way you think. Have you found a job yet?”

  “Not yet. I have two interviews this week, so hopefully soon.” She tossed Connie a glance. “I’ll pull my own weight, promise. I won’t be borrowing your clothes for much longer, either. Mom’s packing up a box and mailing it to me.”

  Connie laughed. “So that’s where my favorite shirts have gone.” Nelly looked sheepish and Connie shook her head. “Not a problem, baby sister. I’m just enjoying having you here.”

  “Do you have any interest in becoming a paralegal?” Alden held Nelly’s gaze, and Connie’s breath caught in her throat.

  Her sister cocked her head to the side slowly. “Maaayybe?” She drawled the word out, then asked, “What would it entail?”

  “More school, for both the accreditation and degree, but you could work while that happened.” Alden shrugged. “Come to work for me. I can put you in as an investigator and researcher at first, then legal assistant once you started classes. It’s not bad work, and you get to use your brain all day.”

  Taylor grinned. “I told him you hated not using your brain.”

  Nelly bopped her head side to side. “It’s true, check out the massive brain I happen to possess.” She studied Alden intently for a moment. “Why? Why me?”

  “Because I know your sister, and if you’re anything like her, you’ll fall into the cases naturally. Your father brought a lot of his work home in the form of legal puzzles to solve, and I know Connie thrives in that kind of environment.” He shrugged. “I’d be willing to take a chance you would, too.”

  Nelly strolled around the island and tucked her hand into Alden’s elbow, pulling him away from Taylor and into the living room. “Tell me more, oh wise one. This sounds interesting.”

  Taylor moved to where Connie stood and leaned against the countertop beside her as they watched Nelly and Alden take seats on the couch, talking animatedly the whole time. “This could be good,” he said softly.

  She leaned her head on his shoulder and smiled. “She needed this. Just look at her face. He’s creating a monster.”

  “A monster for good.” Taylor’s gentle teasing was comfortable, and something she’d missed.

  “Alden blindsided me today. I don’t usually do well with that.” She sighed. “I’ll forgive him if he can keep my sister smiling. See if you can make that happen, okay?”

  “I’ll do my best.” There was a light pressure on the top of her head and she knew he’d rested against her. She sighed, feeling supported and comforted in the same breath.

  “Thank you.”

  ***

  “I don’t ask much.” Taylor laughed through the words, telling everyone in earshot he knew the truth was the opposite of what he’d just said. “I just want what I want, when I want it.”

  “So you’re basically a toddler,” Nelly told him as she yanked the door open on the storefront restaurant she’d picked off an app on her phone. “You’re kinda pushing the maturity thing with that, buddy.”

  “Oh, shut up.” He stuck his tongue out at her, and Connie smiled at the two of them. Some days they acted more like siblings than she and Nelly did. “You’re a nerd.”

  “And I own it,” Nelly crowed, turning to the hostess’ stand. “We need a table for three, and one of us might need a booster seat.” She thumbed over her shoulder. “TayTay is getting cranky. It’s past his naptime.”

  Connie rolled her eyes and pushed past her sister. “Three, please. And I’d tip a lot for two gags.”

  Laughing, the hostess gathered silverware and menus. “Follow me. I’ll see what I can rustle up in the way of markers and coloring books for the little ones.”

  “Hey.” Taylor tried to sound convincingly annoyed but lost the edge on that emotion as he squealed when Nelly dug into his ribs with her fingers. “Ow,” he laughed, dancing away from her. “You’re a beast.”

  Connie followed the hostess, paying little attention to the other diners as she listened to the growls and laughter coming from behind her. They were seated and had placed drink orders with the waitress when she glanced around the room. Everything felt like it came to a screeching halt. Her ears felt filled with cotton and her stomach bottomed out.

  Taylor noticed first, leaning close and asking her, “Are you okay?” She nodded, then shook her head and he followed her gaze with his, a muttered, “Oh, Jesus,” telling her she wasn’t imagining things. “We can go, honey.” He covered her hand with his, curling his fingers tightly around hers. He gave her a squeeze. “Right now. Come on, get up, we’re out of here.”

  “What is it?” Nelly asked, her neck twisting to look around the diner. “What do you see?”

  It was at that moment Jonas looked up from his intense conversation with a petite, dark-haired woman. From the way his gaze locked onto hers, Connie knew he’d tracked her from the moment she’d entered the diner, probably had seen her climbing out of Taylor’s car in the parking lot, since they were parked in front of the window he was seated beside. Jonas glared at her unblinking, his upper lip curved in the sneer she’d seen several times when they were dating, always aimed at someone else, never her. Dismissive and confident, he gestured to the woman seated across from him, and she stood, gathering her purse and scarf.

  “Who is that?” Nelly asked, her voice sounding far away, and Connie heard Taylor murmur something in response. “Oh, shit.”

  Jonas deliberately picked a path to the door that carried him past their booth. He didn’t stop, something she found herself unspeakably thankful for, but he did rap a knuckle on the edge of the table as he stalked by. Her name hung in the air, “Connie,” clipped and angry, and then he was gone, sweeping out the door and to an unfamiliar SUV. Connie watched the woman hand him keys before going to the passenger side. Jonas never took his gaze off the window nearest her, and the last she saw of him was a reflection of his angry eyes before the vehicle turned into traffic, swallowed in moments.

  As it had when she’d learned Jonas’ secret, her mind shifted in
to a self-accusatory overdrive, crowding her thoughts with accusations and a determination that she needed to make it better for other women.

  Jonas raped Audrey and I didn’t know. I didn’t see what he was.

  The menu on the table in front of her swam, colors blending into chaos. Hot tears pricked her eyes, and she lifted her gaze to Taylor and Nelly, seated side by side watching her. “I-I-I…” Connie swallowed hard then reached for a glass that had miraculously appeared on the table, dropped by their overworked waitress on her way to another table. Her hand shook, but she lifted it and drank deep, forcing the tears back down her throat. “I dated that man.”

  “Connie.” She heard the warning in Taylor’s tone and shook her head.

  “No, that’s a statement of fact. I dated him.” She looked at Nelly, staring back at her with a wounded expression on her face. “I slept with a rapist. Willingly. What was it about me that made him pick me? Why woo me instead of forcing me? That might be the single thing that bothers me the most, at night when I can’t sleep. Why me?”

  “We’ll never know, lovely lady.” Taylor stood and shoved her across the seat. “We’ll just forever be grateful that’s how it went for you.”

  “It’s not how it went for Audrey.”

  “No, it’s not. She’s got her own demons to fight, Connie. You can’t fight those for her. What you have to focus on is the positive side.” He gripped her hand, and the heat from his palm told her how cold hers had to be.

  “Oh, God, that woman. That woman with him. I should have said something. Anything.” Connie tore her hand free from Taylor’s hold. “She’s like me. She doesn’t know. I should have said something. What if it happens to her?”

  “You can’t tell the future,” Nelly said, and Connie looked up to see tear tracks glistening on her sister’s cheeks. “You can’t.”

  “What if he—” She choked on bile rising in the back of her throat. “God.”

  “Stop, Connie. You’re here, and you’re safe. It’s like riding in a car after that damned accident. A one-in-a-million chance for it to happen again. I say it’s the same with that man. One in a million.”

  Chapter Eight

  Connie yawned, jaw opened wide until it cracked, the shock running through the joint. “Oh, man.” She barely got the words out, addressing an empty hallway, before she yawned again. It was barely seven, but she was exhausted and struggled to get the key into the lock on her door, blinking through bleary eyes until she was able to twist the key and open the door.

  Standing just inside the apartment, she dropped her computer bag and purse, then toed off her shoes and shoved them under the side table where they wouldn’t be a trip hazard when Nelly got home. She’d gotten a text about an hour ago that her sister would be working even later tonight than Connie. Alden’s firm had taken on a new pro bono case, and it seemed Nelly had a knack for investigating whatever it was they were digging into, because even Taylor had sounded in awe when he talked about Nelly’s persistence and success.

  Connie yawned again, ending the motion with a quick headshake to try and throw off the tiredness that was riding her bones.

  It had been weeks since she’d slept much, and what little she did manage to get wasn’t restful. Last night alone she remembered waking three separate times from nightmares. Dreams she couldn’t remember, but each time she rose to wakefulness feeling pursued by dark things inhabiting her sleep. It was wearing on her, and even Patty had noticed, asking her today if she planned to pack those bags under her eyes.

  Connie drifted through the apartment, pausing for a moment in the kitchen, but everything she could think of for dinner took more effort than she felt worth it. Even eating a container of yogurt would require opening it, which meant exercising a level of physical dexterity she couldn’t muster. She was staring blankly at the closed pantry door, trying to dredge up the memory of what quick food options hid behind the smooth surface when someone knocked on her door.

  Tipping her head back against the cabinet, Connie wondered who it could be, confusedly going through the short list of people who could get into the building without buzzing up. Another knock startled her, and she realized how close she was to falling asleep on her feet. Yawning again, she made her way to the door and stared through the peephole for a long moment, not believing her eyes.

  Connie opened the door and stood there, looking up into Cole’s face, shocked into silence.

  He studied her for a moment, then shook his head and said softly, “Damn, you look tired.”

  She nodded and then shook her head. “Sorry. Come in.” She stepped to one side, holding the door open for him. “What can I do for you, Mr. Stewart?”

  “Call me Cole, please.” He paused opposite her and tugged the door out of her grip, closing it gently. “I just wanted to talk for a bit, but I can come back.”

  “Talk—” Connie covered her mouth as she tried to suppress a yawn, blinking through the wetness it left in her eyes. “About what?”

  “You know what? It doesn’t matter. I’ve caught you at a bad time.” He turned back to the door and Connie suddenly didn’t want him to go, feeling a zinging pull of disappointed energy ripple through her at the idea.

  “No, stay.” He looked at her and she smiled. “Truly. I was trying to decide if eating was worth the energy, but talking I can do. Come, sit.” She paused, then gave him what he’d asked for. “Cole.” He smiled at her, and Connie was nearly staggered by the wave of emotion flooding through her. He’s an interesting man, she thought, and returned the smile. “Would you like something to drink?”

  “How about we do this, instead? Let me cook for you.” He started walking towards her kitchen. “You haven’t eaten, and neither have I. I’ll figure out something for supper and we’ll chat over the meal. Sound good?”

  “You don’t have to do that, Cole.” Her protest rolled off his wide shoulders without making an impact, because he kept walking. “Seriously. It’s late for dinner.”

  “Yeah, but you said you were hungry. I like cooking, and I’ll get the pleasure of your company. In my mind, that’s a win-win.” He rounded the island and glanced around. “Pantry?” Bemused by his persistence, she pointed to the correct cabinet and he opened the door, studying the contents for a moment. Nelly had been stocking the shelves for the past few weeks, and Connie watched as he pulled out one of the many box meals stacked there. He looked at her over the top of the container, then asked, “You got any chicken in the freezer?” She nodded.

  Over the next half hour, he made himself at home in her kitchen, searching out pans and utensils while he waited for the chicken to defrost in the microwave, then cooking the meat in some concoction that smelled mouthwatering, conjured from what she had believed to be limited spices in her cabinets.

  He added the chicken to the box contents, already simmering in a saucepan on the stovetop, and Connie decided to move the conversation past the brief, polite exchanges they’d shared so far. “So, Cole. What did you want to talk about? You came here for a purpose, and it wasn’t to feed me.” She reached for the pan and laughed when he moved it out of reach. “Hey.”

  “You’ll burn yourself.” He gave her a tiny grin. “I’m enjoying this, honestly.” The smile faded. “I got so caught up in having fun cooking for you, I forgot why I came.” Staring down at the pan, he slowly stirred it for a moment. “Give me a few more minutes before we go there, okay?” Cutting his gaze at her, he asked again. “Can you give that to me, Connie? A few more minutes spent just hanging out with a beautiful woman, and no agenda?”

  “But there is an agenda, right?” He nodded, and she took a breath, disappointment settling in her chest. “Sure, we can take the time. Like you said, there’s time enough for serious talking when we’re done here.” She turned to the cabinets and took out her toaster. “It looks almost ready, I’ve got some French bread I can toast and butter. Sound good?”

  “Yeah,” his response was soft, and she glanced to see him watching her with a gr
ateful look on his face. “Sounds really good, Connie.”

  For the next few minutes, they moved around the kitchen as if they’d always shared one. He slid behind her to get a plate out for the bread just before she was about to reach for one, and he had turned with his mouth open in an unspoken question to see she was holding out a serving bowl. Comfortable and easy, having him around felt like a boon after a long day, and she realized without his visit, she would likely have gone to bed without eating, and felt even worse tomorrow.

  Plates and silverware on the table, she watched him settle the bowl of savory-smelling food on top of the trivet she’d placed between the place settings only a moment before. As if we’ve done this a thousand times. Connie couldn’t ever remember doing this with Jonas, and that pulled her up short. She’d cooked breakfast for him occasionally, but their time together had never been infused with this kind of intimacy.

  “We work well together,” Cole observed, and she smiled at how closely their thoughts were aligned.

  “We do.” She placed the beer she’d grabbed for him on the table and laughed out loud when he shifted it to a coaster, sliding it closer to his plate. “Ready to eat?”

  “I’m starved,” he said, but he was looking at her not the food, and the flush of pleasure that raced through her at the gentle flirting was unexpected. Surprising, because since she’d broken up with Jonas, she hadn’t even looked twice at a man, but now this one standing here in front of her seemed bent on awakening urges and desires she’d tried to bury.

  “Look,” she said softly, shaking her head slowly. “I’m probably misreading things, but I don’t want any misunderstandings here.”

  “What, Connie?” His hands flexed around the back of the chair in front of him, and she watched the muscles in his forearms move underneath his skin in a dance of controlled strength.

  “I’m not in a place right now to…explore anything.” She tried for delicacy, stumbling over her words under the intensity of his gaze. He kept his gaze on her face, eyes tracking back and forth over her features. “You know, in case that’s what this is.” He swallowed, and she bit her lips for a moment, shame and embarrassment flooding her face with red. “I got it wrong, didn’t I?”