Disarmed by Love

by Gail Chianese

  “She wouldn’t mind.”

  They rode for next hour in silence. Dante would reach over every now and then to squeeze her hand, but otherwise they could have been two strangers on a train. Except they were in a car. Something felt off. Out of the corner of her eye, she’d catch glimpses of his expressions. She didn’t know if it was her situation with Sal that weighed heavily on his shoulders or if it was work or what. He’d skipped their afternoon session, but hadn’t said why. She made a mental note to ask when they finished with her appointment.

  A pleasant woman in her late fifties greeted them when they walked into the office. It was midsize, done in soothing colors and leather seats. Comfortable, without being over the top.

  Fiona introduced them and Angie, the assistant, led them straight into the next room. “Brody, Tawny’s friends are here. Holler if you need anything and I don’t mean coffee.”

  Brody chuckled and came around his desk. “Dante, good to see you.” The two of them exchanged a quick hug. They were practically family from what Fiona had heard. Tawny was Dante’s biological sister, but her husband was Brody’s best friend and therefore considered part of the family.

  “Fiona, I’m sorry to hear you’re in need of my help. Please, sit down and tell me what I can do.”

  They all took their seats, overstuffed leather seats and just like the outer office this had been painted a soothing blue-gray. Bookshelves lined the wall, filled with what looked like law books, a few paperbacks and a couple of photo frames. On the other side of the room were a long couch and more chairs.

  “My ex-husband, who until two years ago was out of the picture, is now suing me for full custody of our ten-year-old son. I got the papers in the mail today.” She fidgeted in her seat. What if he couldn’t help? Sal had filed in Connecticut where he lived, not Rhode Island. She’d have to start her search over and maybe not find an attorney who may or may not give her a break or let her make payments.

  Brody raised his brow and rested his chin on his steepled fingers. “I see. What is the current parenting plan like?”

  “There really isn’t much of one. Sal, my ex, didn’t want anything to do with our son Dylan when he was born. I had my attorney at the time add that Sal could have Dylan every other weekend, but he had to pick him up and he couldn’t take Dylan more than an hour away from where I lived without my consent.”

  “You said until two years ago, he wasn’t involved. He never took you up on his visitation before then?”

  “No. He’s in the navy and right now he’s stationed in Groton, Connecticut. His family is from New York so when he’d visit them I’d invite his mother to come up and see her grandson, thinking Sal would come along. But they never came. Then two years ago, he transferred to Groton. At first, he’d sporadically show up on the scheduled weekends, most of the time he made excuses. Then a year ago he got remarried and for the most part he shows up when he says. Sometimes out of the blue, too.”

  “Do you know what prompted his change of heart? Going from part-time dad to full-time is a big jump.” Brody’s eyes never left her.

  “At the beginning of summer he mentioned that he wanted to increase the time he spent with Dylan. Basically he demanded every weekend during the school year, all summer and both winter and spring breaks. I flat out told him no.”

  A sharp pain pierced her forehead. She pressed against it and breathed.

  “Sorry, a bit of a headache. Where were we?”

  “What caused his change of heart?” Brody reached for his phone. “Can I get you something for the headache? Or something to drink?”

  “No, thank you. I don’t want to bother your assistant.”

  “Trust me, you’re not. Angie lives to give me a bad time, but she has a heart of gold and no one else would put up with me. Except my wife.”

  “I’ll be fine.” God she hoped so. “I didn’t think Sal was serious. I mean with his past behavior and well, just him and his life. A kid doesn’t really fit in. I guess I thought his new wife, Mia had said something about wanting kids and knowing Sal, he figured if he brought Dylan around that would satisfy her.”

  “Sounds like a peach.” Brody turned to Dante. “When did you two start dating?”

  “Around the beginning of summer.”

  “And how is he around you?”

  “A peacock. Likes to strut, get in your face, and make sure you see him. He wants to be the alpha and while he’s got the muscle to maybe pull it off, he doesn’t have what it takes to lead and hold the position.”

  Fiona looked at Dante with her mouth hanging open, and then turned back to Brody. “He nailed it.”

  “Can I see the papers you received?”

  Fiona passed them over and sat back while Brody read through. Her head continued to pound. She should have taken him up on his offer of water.

  Brody dropped the papers on the desk and looked her in the eye. “Is there any basis to his allegations?”

  “No.” Dante responded before she could. “Fiona is a great mom. Bro, talk to Jason or Dave, they met Dylan. They can vouch he’s a happy, healthy kid.”

  “I’ve never knowingly put Dylan in danger. He’s never even really been hurt before, but last week he was in a car accident when Dante was driving. Sal is under the impression that Dante is a danger to our son. He’s heard talk and thinks that…” she hesitated, not wanting Dante to take the comments the wrong way.

  “Go ahead, Fee. Tell him everything,” Dante urged.

  She rubbed at her forehead and Brody got up, walked across to a mini-fridge she hadn’t noticed and pulled out a bottle of water that he handed to her.

  “Thanks. He thinks Dante has PTSD and he’s going to snap, that Dylan will become collateral damage.”

  “Dante?”

  “Who in the military doesn’t have some form of PTSD? It’s a shit world we live in these days, but no, I don’t suffer from it like Rossi thinks. A few nightmares a month, that’s all. I do have TBI—traumatic brain injury—and there are side effects and meds.”

  “Were you found to be at fault for the accident?”

  “No. The other guy blew just below the limit. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t partly to blame.”

  “Didn’t hear that, man.” Brody turned back to her. “Full custody is out for the father, and I can’t see a judge granting it, but are you willing to give up some of your time to compromise?”

  She got up from her chair and walked the length of the room and back. Her head spun and she wanted to run. Negative energy flowed through her, interfering with her ability to think and she needed to run, to burn it off, and find her inner strength. This wasn’t just her life they were talking about disrupting it was Dylan’s. He should get some say.

  Turning back, she met Brody’s intense gaze. “Maybe, if I have to. I’d like to talk with Dylan, but right now he’s mad at his dad.”

  “Okay, do that and let me know. In the meantime, if you want I can file a response, put my name down as attorney of record.”

  Oh, thank God. But first she needed to know if she could afford him. “I’d like that, but there’s the matter of your fee. If I could make payments—”

  “I’ll cover it.” Dante squeezed her hand.

  “No. I’m not a charity case. This is my mess.”

  “I thought it was ours?”

  “Well.” Brody sat back in his chair, which should have come across as relaxed but it reminded Fiona of a tiger about to pounce. “If you made a small contribution, of your choosing, to the local legal aid, I’ll take it pro-bono. Your ex-husband sounds like a bully, and I love taking down bullies.”

  Holy smokes, she hadn’t seen that coming. Maybe it was a sign things were looking up.

  * * * *

  He held back for a minute to presumably talk family stuff while Fiona gave her information to Angie. Once she was in the other roo
m, he turned to Brody.

  “Be straight with me. Is my being in the picture a problem in any way?”

  Brody shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. “I don’t know, Dante. Depends on the judge and what proof Rossi has that you’re a danger to the kid and those around you. Give Angie a list of your medications for me, if you don’t mind. I’d like to research any side effects, just in case. Also, what are the side effects you mentioned?”

  “I get the shakes.”

  “Yeah, I noticed that.”

  “Then there’s the brain fog.”

  At Brody’s arched brow, Dante explained in detail, leaving nothing out including how he couldn’t remember pulling out into traffic that day, and that he’d been to the doc twice in the week leading up to the accident.

  The ride home was long, with Fiona a jumble of nerves bouncing from elation to doubt. As for him, the day had started out shitty and gone downhill from there. Even with the increased medication he hadn’t slept last night. His hands shook and he hadn’t been able to make it through his lecture that afternoon. Then the doc’s bombshell.

  He was never going to be one hundred percent again.

  It was time to rethink his long-term career goals. Find an occupation that didn’t require steady hands, and he probably should avoid any heavy machinery or power tools, too. The navy wouldn’t discharge him, but the best he could hope for was desk duty and maybe one more tour after this one. At that point he wouldn’t make rank because he wouldn’t qualify for the billets he needed.

  And now this crap.

  Brody hadn’t come out and said he was a problem, but sometimes it’s what a person doesn’t say that holds the most weight.

  They entered the apartment and Fiona dropped down onto the couch. “Oh man, I feel so much better after talking to Brody. It’s going to be a pain, fighting Sal in court and I’ll have to talk to Dylan to see what kind of compromise we can work out, but at least I don’t have to worry about losing him.”

  She hoped. It was there in her voice. Even she wasn’t convinced by what Brody had told them.

  “Fiona, we need to talk.” Regret filled him the moment the words tumbled from his mouth, but he had to do this… for her and for Dylan. “I think we should give each other some space for a while.”

  “Why? You heard Brody. No judge is going to give Sal full custody and those allegations are pure bull.”

  “Are you really willing to test that theory out? Let’s look at the facts. Sal is married and can offer Dylan a home with two parents. He’s gainfully employed. Mia’s a lovely person, so you’ve said yourself, and she loves Dylan. And neither of them have mental health issues. I do and let’s be a hundred percent honest, people still look down on us.”

  “You’re not crazy or unstable, Dante.” She jumped up off the couch and walked over to him.

  “You know that and on most days, so do I, but you can’t prove it to a judge. If I’m out of the picture, Brody has a better argument. You on your own? You’re perfect. Dylan couldn’t ask for a better, more loving mom than you. You’re worth two parents alone. Hell, you’re better than a whole village raising a child.”

  “What about us?” She reached out to lay a hand on his arm.

  “There is no us, if there’s no you and Dylan. I can’t be the reason you lose your son. It would tear you up. Hell, the thought is tearing me up. Dylan’s a great kid and he shouldn’t have to be put in this spot because of me. And maybe it’s for the best anyway.”

  She stepped back, crossed her arms.

  “Fiona, I can’t say that the accident wasn’t my fault. A few seconds earlier and that guy would have slammed into my door. If Dylan hadn’t sat on the other side… God. I have nightmares, Fiona. Not about what happened in the sandbox, about the accident.”

  “You know that’s normal, right?” He heard the tears behind the words and hated himself. “But I’m not going to beg you to stay or try to convince you you’re wrong. I can see you made up your mind. I just wish you had made this decision last week before we took that little family vacation.”

  “Fiona, it’s not like that—”

  “Sure. I get it.” Tears welled in the corner of her eyes. “This is all in Dylan and my best interest. I just wish you hadn’t made me fall in love with you.”

  “You love me?” Oh, fuck me. He wished she hadn’t said it, hadn’t said the words he’d been holding in, words he’d been wondering if she’d been thinking.

  “You know. You’re right. Brody probably won’t even have to fight this in court this way. And don’t worry, Dylan and I’ll be fine. This summer was fun, but we’re used to it being just us.”

  He reached for her, but she stepped back and shook her head. “Maybe when the custody fight is all sorted out, we can try again?”

  “I think it’s better if I’m on my own. You should probably go now.”

  He didn’t want to go. This wasn’t what he wanted. He didn’t want to end things. Just take a step back until Rossi cooled off; maybe get his head figured out so it couldn’t be used against him. He started to tell Fiona but she’d walked to the door and held it open.

  “What about Dylan’s swimming lessons?”

  “I’ll talk to Sally again and if not, I’ll make sure he keeps practicing.” She looked him dead in the eye, tears streaming down her cheeks, and smiled. “Thanks, Dante. For everything.”

  Chapter 19

  The sun glittered on the water like diamonds on a blue background, as a breeze cooled her skin. Seagulls squawked overhead before diving to snatch discarded bits of food off the restaurant deck. This was her jam, her happy place, but she felt nothing.

  It had been a week since her life had taken an abrupt turn down a dark, dreary, despondent road. She’d spent all last weekend rearranging her house and purging closets. She’d cleaned her Bug, inside and out until it sparkled and shone. Then she’d cleaned the yoga studio. Everything around her looked fresh and promising, except her future.

  Still she hadn’t cried.

  She’d kept it together, all those emotions swirling through her, as Dante ended their relationship. She’d hadn’t railed or thrown things. She hadn’t called him names or begged for him to stay.

  What would have been the point?

  He was doing what he felt he had to do and wanted to do. She couldn’t hold that against him. Still, it had hurt. He’d walked out her door—like she asked—and took her dreams with him, and he probably didn’t even have a clue.

  Dylan had come home sulky and tired, slamming his bedroom door without so much as a hello. Sal at least had the sense to send Mia to the door with their son. So there was one highlight: she didn’t have to see his smug face.

  And here she was five days later, tired and empty. Work hadn’t brought her the peace she’d been hoping for. Her heart wasn’t in it; even the classes had noticed that the Mistress of Pain had lost her groove. She’d caught a couple of the class instructors watching her with their sad, puppy dog eyes and she figured since Dante had been absent all week, he’d filled them in.

  Not that she cared.

  She’d get over it, get back to living her life—she and Dylan doing what they always did, surviving. She hadn’t needed a man before Dante walked into her life and she didn’t need one now to make it complete. He’d just been the sprinkles on her cupcake.

  “Hey, there you are.” Risa bent down and kissed her cheek before dropping into the chair next to her. “Sorry I’m late. Adalyn didn’t go down for her nap on time and then when we got to your mom’s she was hungry. How are you doing?”

  “Fine.”

  “Just fine?” Risa waved the waiter over. “Hi, luv, can you get us a couple of…”

  “Water for me,” Fiona said.

  “Bugger that. This is a pity party. We can’t have water. How about two cranberry cosmos and a menu, plea
se?”

  “Ris, it’s one in the afternoon.”

  “Which makes it seven in London and we’re behind for happy hour.”

  Fiona rolled her eyes. “I don’t want to get drunk.”

  “What do you want to do?” Risa asked as she perused the menu.

  “Nothing. Forget the past couple of months and get my life back on track.”

  She put the menu down and leaned back. “I believe when I made that comment you reminded me that I’d have to forget all the great sex that I’d had during that time period. You willing to do that?”

  Fiona wrinkled up her face and stuck her tongue out. “Sometimes I hate you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  The waiter arrived with their drinks and Risa ordered a couple of greasy hamburgers, fries and put in an order for the sundae for two with extra chocolate sauce and whipped cream.

  “Are you trying to get me fat or cheer me up?”

  “If I thought I had a chance of fattening you up, I would. But no, the secret to getting over heartbreak is carbs. Trust me.” She paused for a moment. “Have you heard from him?”

  “Nope. Guess he’s giving me time so we can keep it professional.” Not that she would have caused a scene in the middle of the gym. “Or so I don’t break down in tears in front of everyone.”

  “Hmm, maybe. How’s Dylan doing with all of this?”

  “Prince Charming, he’s not. Do you want a second kid? He’s potty trained.”

  Risa smiled, but it didn’t light up her eyes like normal. “He’ll come around.”

  “He’s mad at Sal, me, the world right now. His dad told him that he wanted Dylan to come live with him full time. Somehow my son got the impression I was okay with that arrangement. So first he thought I was sending him away so I could be with Dante.”

  “Oh, shit. The poor kid. That had to be a mind-fuck.”

  “Risa!” Fiona waved her to tell her to forget it. Her best friend had the worst vocabulary around when she was upset. “Trust me, I corrected that assumption. But when he found out Dante walked away, he shifted his anger to his dad.”