Dream a Little Dream

by Joan Jonker

  ‘I have every intention of telling Nigel and Abbie tonight. I don’t relish the thought, because I feel I am as guilty as my wife. My weakness in allowing the situation to carry on for so long has deprived Ada and Joe of the love of their grandchildren and the pleasure of watching them grow into adults. I can’t bring back those lost years, but I can make sure that no further time is lost.’

  ‘Do it, Bob, and then yer’ll be able to live in peace with yerself. To hell with what yer wife thinks, she’s not worth worrying about. And you are not as guilty as she is, for Ada and Joe are her parents, not yours.’ Beryl saw the worry in his eyes and tried to shake him out of his sadness. ‘Milly will be over the moon when I tell her Abbie’s coming. How about Wednesday night, about eight, and I’ll make sure she’s in. And Bill will be made up to see you, he’s always asking after yer.’

  ‘How is Bill? And young Kenny?’

  ‘My husband is fine, and at sixteen my son is taller than him. I can’t keep the lad in clothes or shoes, he grows out of them in no time.’

  Robert handed his cup over before standing up. ‘I’ll look forward to seeing them all on Wednesday.’ After fastening his overcoat he reached for his bowler. ‘Thanks for listening to me, Beryl, I really didn’t mean to unburden myself to you. I think it was seeing the old house and remembering how much happier those days were.’ He gave her a peck on the cheek. ‘I’ll see myself out, you go back to your washing.’

  Beryl didn’t move for several minutes after he left. He was a lovely bloke, and it was sad the way his life had turned out. It just went to prove, she thought, that money really can’t buy you happiness.

  Chapter Eight

  They stood on the pavement outside the Higgins’ house and Alf thrust out his hand. ‘I can’t thank yer enough, Mr Robert, I feel as though I’ve been on me holidays.’

  It had been a mixture of a day for Robert. He’d been happy when he walked into Jeff’s office and saw Nigel looking calm and settled, as though this was just another day at work. Then there’d been sadness when telling Beryl of his troubles. He probably wouldn’t have opened his heart to her if it wasn’t for Abbie wanting so badly to see Milly. There’d also been a bout of anger against his wife for putting him in this position. But all that was his worry and had nothing to do with the man standing before him who got enjoyment just by being in a garden.

  ‘You must feel free to visit whenever you’re at a loose end, Alf,’ he said to the other man. ‘I won’t be able to chauffeur you, but the trams are handy. Pete would be glad of your company and the helping hand you gave.’

  Trams cost money, though, Alf thought, and that is something we don’t have. But to say that would sound as though he was hinting. ‘Thanks, Mr Robert, I’ll remember that. I will call up some time, but I won’t make a nuisance of meself.’

  ‘Are yer coming in, Mr Robert?’ Kitty was standing on the step with the key in her hand. ‘I could make yer a cuppa.’

  ‘No, thank you, Kitty. I’ve told Agnes to keep the dinner back fifteen minutes and if I’m later than that there’ll be some rumbling tummies and long faces.’ He doffed his bowler and opened the car door. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow. And I hope to see you in the near future, Alf.’

  The couple waved as his car pulled away from the kerb. ‘That is one hell of a nice bloke,’ Alf said. ‘It’s a pity there aren’t more like him.’

  Robert saw them in his rearview mirror, their arms around each other’s waists, and he felt a pang of envy. They probably thought that with his wealth he could have anything in the world he wanted. How wrong they would be.

  Knowing he was cutting it fine for time, he drove as quickly as he could. But when he entered the kitchen and saw the housekeeper’s face, he knew he was responsible for holding things up. ‘Very late, am I, Agnes?’

  She tilted her head and rolled her eyes. ‘They’ve been sat in the dining room like stuffed dummies for the last quarter of an hour.’

  ‘Then I won’t bother changing. I’ll just rinse my hands in the cloakroom and be in my chair in five minutes.’

  ‘Miss Edwina’s face is like thunder, so perhaps yer better had change, Mr Robert.’

  He turned at the door, shrugged his shoulders and spread out his hands. ‘Then her face will go with my head and my heart, because both are ready to burst. So don’t be surprised if you hear fireworks, Agnes, just be ready to duck.’

  The housekeeper grinned as the door closed behind him. There was nothing like a bloody good row to stir the old brain box, and if she’d read Mr Robert right, he was ready if one should start. She raised her eyes to the ceiling and prayed that if there was to be a row they’d wait until she was serving dinner. She’d go mad if she missed anything.

  Edwina was sitting up perfectly straight, a very disapproving expression on her face. ‘It really isn’t good enough, Robert. You’ve kept the whole family waiting twenty minutes and you haven’t even changed.’

  ‘You are right on both counts.’ Robert took his seat and glanced at each of his children. ‘Good evening.’

  The only replies came from Nigel and Abbie, and they were accompanied by smiles. ‘Not to worry, Dad,’ Abbie said. ‘We won’t starve.’

  ‘We might not starve, but some of us will be late for appointments,’ Victoria said, a haughty expression on her face. ‘It really is inconsiderate of you, Father. Charles is calling for me in half an hour.’

  ‘Then I suggest you telephone him and ask him to make it a little later. The whole family cannot revolve around you and your social life. You may use the telephone in the study if you wish.’ Robert unfolded his napkin when the door opened and Agnes came through. ‘Ah, here is the dinner. Perhaps you’d like to make your call while the soup is being served.’

  ‘No, it is hardly worth the effort.’ Victoria knew if she persisted she would look a fool that evening when Charles turned up late. He was never on time; sometimes he’d turn up an hour late, giving a cock and bull excuse she didn’t believe for a second. Although this annoyed her, she never let it show. Never made an issue of it because she knew Charles would just turn on his heel and walk away. So until she had his ring on her finger, she would continue to be sweet and understanding, to convince him she’d make the ideal wife. That he was a philanderer was well-known to her, but once married to him and his money she wouldn’t care. She’d be delighted if he found his pleasures elsewhere. ‘He can wait in the drawing room if need be.’

  Robert moved aside to let Agnes ladle the soup on to his plate and sniffed up, his face showing appreciation. ‘Smells delicious, Agnes.’

  ‘Made from home-grown vegetables.’ She looked suitably pleased at the compliment. ‘Except for the onions – I had to buy them. Pete doesn’t seem to have much luck with them.’

  ‘There was a strange man in the garden today, Robert,’ Edwina said. ‘Victoria and I thought he looked shifty and up to no good. Pete will have to be told he’s not to invite this person again. Or any of his other cronies.’

  Oh dear, here it comes, Agnes told herself. I thought it was too good to be true, ’cos this one doesn’t miss a thing. Fancy her saying Alf looked shifty and up to no good, though – that just showed what a bad mind she had. The housekeeper carried on serving, but held her breath waiting to hear what Mr Robert had to say.

  ‘The man in question is no stranger; he happens to be a friend of mine who was here at my invitation. And if you thought he looked shifty, then you were letting your imagination run away with you because he’s a decent chap.’ Robert tasted the soup and made a sound of pleasure. ‘Excellent, as always, Agnes.’ He wiped his lips on his napkin before looking down the table at his wife. ‘I gave Alfred an open invitation to come any time he pleases, so you will no doubt be seeing him in the garden again. And I would be most displeased if anyone were to question his presence.’

  That’s telling them, Agnes thought as she made her way out of the room with the soup tureen. Mr Robert had been throwing his weight around over the last week, and no
t before time. Still, better late than never, eh?

  For a few minutes the only sound in the room was that of the silver spoons coming into contact with china. Then Robert pushed his plate away and leaned his elbows on the table. This was a habit that irritated his wife as she thought it was bad manners. But common sense told her she would be unwise to mention the fact right now.

  ‘So how was your first day at work, Nigel?’ Robert asked. ‘You appeared to be getting on so well with Jeff I didn’t like to interfere.’

  ‘It was a pleasure working with him, Dad, he’s so patient. There was an extra chair at his desk for me and everything he did he explained to me. He probably only got through half the work he usually does, because every entry he made in the books he gave me all the details of what it was for, and why it went in that particular ledger. I really think I learned a lot today, although I know I’ve got a long way to go. I may be as green as grass right now, but I’m convinced it will all come together with Jeff’s help. He’s very efficient, anyone with half an eye could see that, but he’s also very humorous and I’m going to enjoy working with him.’

  ‘Good! That’s what I was hoping to hear. If you are not going out tonight, I’d like you to come along to the study and go through a few things with you myself. Call it homework if you like. Then tomorrow you can surprise Jeff with your knowledge.’

  ‘I haven’t any plans for tonight, Dad, so I’d like that.’

  ‘And you, young lady.’ Robert turned to Abbie. ‘I’d like you to come along and make a list of books you’ll need for starting at college next week. I believe you mentioned you had to have one on shorthand?’

  ‘Yes, there’s a few books I need. I’ve got a list upstairs so I’ll bring it along to the study after we’ve eaten.’ She gave her father a broad wink. ‘I noticed you never asked me if I had any plans for tonight. I’ll surprise you one day and say I’ve got a date.’

  ‘I’d be delighted, my dear, because I worry that you don’t have much social life. A young girl your age should have plenty of friends, male and female.’

  Had he been able to read her thoughts, Robert would have found out that she didn’t try to make friends because she would be afraid to bring anyone home to suffer the indignity of being eyed from head to toe by her mother. The one friend she had, Rowena, had never said it in so many words, but she wasn’t comfortable in the Dennison house. ‘As I said, Dad, I’ll surprise you one of these days.’

  ‘It won’t be a surprise, my dear, it will be a pleasure.’

  ‘Oh, it will be a surprise, Dad, ’cos I’m hanging back for Prince Charming. And when he calls for me he’ll be riding a white charger and will lift me off my feet to sit behind him, and he’ll carry me off to a beautiful castle in the country.’

  Ignoring the snorts of derision coming from his wife and eldest daughter, Robert covered Abbie’s hand and grinned. ‘That would make me a very happy man, as long as he didn’t take you too far away from me.’

  ‘Dad, wild horses wouldn’t take me far away from you.’ Abbie heard the tuts and snorts and decided not to ignore them this time. If they wanted to sneer, she’d give them something to sneer about. So, letting her eyes move from her mother to Victoria, she said, in a very clear voice something she’d never said in front of anyone before – not because she hadn’t wanted to, but because the air of hostility in the house didn’t encourage words or acts of affection: ‘You see, I love you too much.’

  The words lifted Robert’s heart and brought a lump to his throat. ‘And I love you, too, sweetheart.’

  Robert and Nigel left the dining room together and went along to the study, while Abbie, growing more excited as the time drew nearer, dashed up the stairs to get her list of the books she would need when she started at commercial college. It was only fourteen days off, and the time would fly over.

  ‘If you wish to smoke a cigarette, son, then do so because I will be lighting my after-dinner cigar.’ Robert wasn’t looking forward to the next half-hour, but it was something he couldn’t put off any longer. Not only couldn’t put it off, but didn’t want to. He glanced at his son through the smoke rising from his cigar and wondered how he would take the news.

  The study door burst open and Abbie came in waving what appeared to be a form. ‘Here it is, Dad, names of books and shops that stock them.’

  ‘Leave the form on the desk, my dear, we’ll go through it later. I want you to sit down now as I have something of great importance to tell you and Nigel. It is something you should have no need to be told, you should have been aware of it all your life. When you hear what I’ve got to say, I hope you won’t think too badly of me for leaving you in the dark for so long, thus depriving you of something very precious.’

  ‘You would never do anything to hurt us, Dad,’ Abbie said. ‘So whatever it is, Nigel and I won’t think badly of you.’

  Nigel could see the concern in his father’s eyes. ‘What is it, Dad?’

  ‘You are both aware that my parents died many years ago, although neither of you will have any recollection of them. Victoria was a little lass of three when they died, Nigel was only one and you weren’t even born, Abbie.’ Robert paused, praying he could find the right words. ‘Have neither of you ever wondered about your mother’s parents?’

  ‘Well, I know they died a long time ago, Dad,’ Nigel said. ‘But that’s about all.’

  ‘And you, Abbie, have you never wondered?’

  ‘Yes, I did, but when I mentioned it to Nigel a few years ago, he told me they had died.’

  Robert sighed. ‘They are not dead. Your Grandma and Granda are still alive and living in the same house your mother was brought up in.’

  While Abbie gasped, Nigel’s face drained of colour. ‘I don’t understand. Does Mother know they are still alive?’

  ‘Yes, she knows.’ Robert’s cigar had gone out and he placed it in the ashtray. ‘Before I say any more, I want your promise that you will not confront your mother until I’ve had a chance to tell her about this conversation. Do I have your promise?’

  Nigel looked stunned. ‘You mean Mother lied to me?’

  ‘I wasn’t aware your mother had deliberately lied until now. I believe she thought that by not ever mentioning them, you would automatically think they had passed away.’ Robert ran a hand across his brow. ‘I must take some of the blame because I should have insisted she visited her parents and taken you with her.’

  ‘Are you saying that, knowing they were still alive, she hasn’t visited her own parents since we went to live in Balfour Road?’ Nigel was shaking his head in disbelief. ‘But why, Dad?’

  ‘That is something only she can answer. I visit them on a regular basis and have done since we moved out of the little house in Arthur Street. She wasn’t aware of this until I told her last week. And as you will have noticed, the air between us since then has been decidedly cool. Over the years my relationship with your mother has been going downhill, but since being told I keep in touch with all my old friends and neighbours, including her parents, things have reached a point where I can no longer keep quiet. Her parents, Joe and Ada, are old now and haven’t many years left to them. She refuses point blank to visit them, but I’ll no longer allow her to deprive them of the pleasure of knowing their own grandchildren.’

  Tears rolled slowly down Abbie’s cheeks. ‘That’s wicked, Dad. Our Grandma and Granda are still alive and she never told us? How could she?’

  There was colour in Nigel’s face now, brought about by his rising anger. ‘I’ll tell you why she’s disowned them. They’re not good enough for her – she’s ashamed of them!’

  ‘I asked you for a promise before, which you never gave,’ Robert said. ‘Can I have it now before any more is said?’

  ‘You have my promise, Dad,’ Nigel said. ‘But I’ll never forgive Mother, never!’

  ‘Me neither.’ Abbie wiped the tears away with the back of her hand. ‘I won’t say anything, Dad, not until you tell me I can. But I’ll never feel the
same towards her, and I hope God pays her back for being so cruel.’ A thought struck her. ‘Does Victoria know?’

  ‘That is a question I can’t answer. But I will try and make you see why I think your mother has behaved the way she has. When we were poor, we were as happy as any married couple could be. She was a good wife and was always kind and helpful to our neighbours. It was when I started to make money that she gradually began to change. They say money doesn’t always bring happiness, and in our case this has proved to be true. The more money I earned, the bigger the house we lived in, the greater the change in your mother. In my opinion she has reached the stage now where she believes she has never known any other life than the one she enjoys now. And this is what she wants our newfound friends to believe. Our life before we moved into Balfour Road has been erased from her mind, and that includes family and friends. In my heart I can feel some pity for her because she has lost more than she’s gained.’

  ‘I can’t feel pity for her, Dad, because she deliberately lied to me,’ Nigel said, ‘and about something that affected my life and the lives of her own parents! I would never have neglected them if I’d known they were still alive, and I am determined now to make it up to them. I mean, what must they think of grandchildren who never come to see them?’

  ‘Ada and Joe know the whole story, Nigel, I’ve never kept anything from them. Even though your mother has treated them so badly, they never fail to ask after her, and yourselves.’ The worst over, Robert picked up his cigar and held his lighter to it. He puffed on it several times until the tobacco had caught, then faced his children again. ‘What I have just done is about the worst thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. It hurts me to criticise the woman who is my wife, and your mother. And I ask you not to repeat to her anything we have talked about. I am not being deceitful or underhanded, but I need to find the right time to bring everything out into the open with as little unpleasantness, and hurt, as possible. In the meantime, though, I must ask you if you would like to see your grandparents?’