Intoxicate

by Tessa Teevan

  “We don’t need time,” Xavier growls, and she just smirks at me. “We’ll do it.”

  “No,” I insist. “We’re not making a rash decision like this.”

  “Twenty-four hours. Even I can give you that,” she says, standing. “Oh, and, Xavier, it’s been lovely meeting your wife. It’d be a shame if Lily was taken away from her new mommy.” With that, she walks away, leaving Xavier and me sitting there in an uncomfortable silence.

  I lean forward and place a hand on his arm. “Xavier—”

  He wrenches it away from me and stands. “I’m not doing this here. Go home, Kalliope. We’ll discuss it there.”

  With that, he turns and walks away from me, anger radiating off him in waves. Part of me thinks I should just give in, allow him to pay her off, but the other part, the stronger part, refuses to let that woman win.

  XAVIER’S NOT home when I get there, so I shoot Lucy a text message telling her that everything’s fine and ask if she can keep Lily through dinner. I’m still pacing when he finally walks through the door.

  “Why couldn’t you just let me pay her off?” he asks angrily, shocking me to my core. “I don’t want to fight her, Kalli. I don’t wish to go to court. I want this over with and I want her gone. I’ll do anything to make it go away, even if it means paying her off. Money isn’t everything. It’s money Lily doesn’t even know about.”

  I throw my hands up in exasperation. “Of course money isn’t everything. But where does it end? You pay her now and then she becomes a leech, always wanting and coming back for more. Not to mention, it was a dying woman’s wish that the money went to Lily. Who are we to disrespect that?”

  “That woman could’ve had a relationship with Lily any time she wanted. Excuse me if I have little care for the wishes of someone we don’t even know.”

  Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes, wondering how I can get through to him. “Xavier, she’s been absent for eleven years. Do you really think a judge is going to look at this situation and grant her custody? There’s no way.”

  He doesn’t look convinced. “I know how these things go, Kalli, and she’s already made it clear she’ll use my service and my mom against me.”

  Sighing, I know I’m not getting through to him, so I rack my brain trying to think of ways to make him get it. “Think of it this way. What does Angela want? Money. What will it take for her to fight for custody? Money. From where I’m sitting, we’re in a much better position than she is. That’s why I wanted to get you away from her. So we could think about this rationally.”

  “But she’ll only have to spend a little to potentially gain a lot. I have no idea what would make her go away short of just doing what she wants. But you’re right. It might not be enough. What the hell am I going to do?” he asks, sounding defeated.

  “We’ll figure it out. If necessary, we’ll go to the JAG, have termination papers drawn up, and we’ll fight her every step of the way.”

  “I don’t know if it’s that easy. That’ll take time, money, and will eventually get Lily involved. If I do it Angela’s way, then it’s done and over with and Lily will never know.”

  The confliction on his face is palpable, and I know he needs to figure this out on his own. Part of me wants to agree with him to get the monkey off his back so he won’t have to deal with her or the pain she’s causing. But I also know that one check will never be enough for someone like Angela. A woman who puts a price tag on her child’s head will be willing to do anything. I’m afraid that, if we get that ball rolling, she’ll never actually go away.

  “This is your decision, Xavier, and whatever you decide to do, I will support you, no matter what. I know I’m not Lily’s biological mother, but I love her and I only want what’s best for her. I just don’t think giving Angela what she wants is the way to go.”

  His eyes soften, and he crosses the room, pulling my face into his hands. “I once told you that you’re not Lily’s mom, and at the time, maybe you weren’t, but you are now. You are her mother, and we’ll do this together. You have every right to voice your opinion, and I’m grateful that you were able to have a clear enough mind to separate us from the situation before I blindly agreed.”

  “Xavier,” I whisper, choking up at his words.

  “As angry as I want to be at Angela, I’m almost grateful for her leaving because it brought us you. I’m lucky you’re in my life. So is Lily. To have a mom like you. You are the absolute best thing that’s happened to us. Never, ever question your place in this family. Because that’s what we are—family.”

  Sniffing, I smile through my watery tears. “I’m just as lucky, Xavier. And you’re right. We’re family, and family sticks together. So whatever you decide, I’m in. All the way.”

  He leans in and presses a kiss to my forehead. “I just . . . I need time to think, okay? I hear what you’re saying. I’m just . . . I’m terrified, Kalli. God damn terrified.”

  “I know,” I tell him, wrapping my arms around his waist. “I trust you. You’ll do the right thing.”

  “Fuck . . . I hope so.”

  I could say more. I could make promises that we’ll fight her, we’ll never let her win, and any number of platitudes, but I don’t. It’s not what he needs to hear right now. I’ve said my part. It’s up to him to decide how he wants to play this. If he wants to talk this out, he knows I’ll be there for him. If he needs to clear his thoughts on his own, I’ll respect that, too.

  But no matter what he thinks, what he chooses, I’m not leaving his side. Not for a second.

  THE NEXT day at school, I’m entirely on edge. After our discussion, Xavier went to the gym to clear his head, and I picked up Lily, trying to act as normal as possible so she wouldn’t sense that anything was off. By the time Xavier came home, he seemed better, and I’d hoped he’d made up his mind. We didn’t talk about it the rest of the night, instead opting for family time on the couch and then adult time in the bedroom after she went to bed. I could tell he wasn’t in the mood to talk, so instead, we connected in an intimate way. And then he held me all night, much like he used to do when he’d crawl into my bedroom seeking comfort and warmth.

  Just as I dismiss my students for recess, I hear my phone vibrating from my desk. Usually, it’s on silent, but I’ve been waiting to hear from my husband all morning. When I check it, I see a text from him with an address.

  X: Meet us at this address at three. Kale and Lucy will get Lily. This ends today.

  A sinking feeling settles in my stomach as I try to analyze those three words. This ends today. I get it. I understand that he’s had nearly eleven years of pent-up worry, anxiety, and anger where Angela’s concerned. Sweeping it under the rug and having her gone once and for all would be a dream come true. I just worry that it’ll never be enough. But I trust Xavier, and I’ll support whatever he’s chosen to do.

  The rest of the afternoon, I can barely focus. I’m suffering from clammy skin and heart palpitations, and I’m sick to my stomach with nerves. By the time I get to the address and see that it’s a lawyer’s office, I’m on the verge of a panic attack.

  As I walk into the lobby, I see Xavier and Angela sitting on opposite sides of the room. His leg is nervously bouncing up and down, his combat boots squeaking against the linoleum floor. She, on the other hand, looks cool as can be as she checks out her manicure, ignoring Xavier’s presence.

  Was it really only twenty-four hours ago that this woman threatened to turn our worlds upside down? For a split second, I want to tell him to just give her the money, to get her out of our lives so she can crawl back into whatever miserable hole she came from. So that we can get back to being a family without Lily being any the wiser. Because Angela has another thing coming if she thinks there’s any way I will allow her to be around Lily. That may sound selfish, but as far as I’m concerned, any ties—biological or not—she had to Lily were severed when she put a price tag on her head.

  When I’m closer, he rises and greets me with a kiss on the ch
eek. “Hey baby. You ready for this?” he asks.

  I gaze up into his eyes, searching for something, anything, to tell me what he’s decided. Before I can respond, I hear our names being called, and I turn to see a distinguished, older-looking gentleman waiting. We follow him to a conference room before taking seats at a small, round table. He sets two documents in front of Angela and another little piece of paper that looks suspiciously like a check. My heart falters and my stomach twists as I stare at it, but I try to calm myself down. I promised I’d support him, and I will.

  Angela gives me a smug smile, and I swear Xavier’s avoiding my gaze. I want to jump up in protest at this miserable woman who’d abandon her child for an insignificant amount of money. However, I stay rooted to my seat, my throat dry as I avert my eyes, not wanting to watch this unfold.

  “What the hell is this?”

  Her angry tone catches my attention, and I glance up to see her looking at Xavier in disgust.

  My heart races as I wonder what he’s done. He leans back in his chair and places an arm around the back of mine, looking extremely too calm and casual for this setting. Shrugging, he watches her with a steely gaze.

  “What you’re looking at is an invoice of sorts. A calculation of all the money you owe in back child support.”

  “Did you forget what this was about, Xavier? I’m the one here asking for money, not you.”

  The lawyer’s jaw ticks, but he doesn’t say a word. He just glances at Xavier, who looks unimpressed. Gone is the worried man who was ready to just give in. In his place is a confident father who will not allow this disgrace of a woman to blackmail him. .

  “You aren’t getting a single cent from me or Lily’s trust fund. I refuse to allow you to threaten me at the risk of my daughter. If you want to fight this in court, we can.” He sits up and takes my hand, placing our joined ones on the table. “You may think you have a chance, but Lily already has two parents who love her. If I actually thought you were sincere in getting to know her, I’d never keep you from her. However, since you decided that threatening me for money is more important than knowing her, you’ve given up that right. So what will it be, Angela? Are we fighting this out in court, or will you sign those damn papers and get the hell out of our lives for good? In fact, I’ll make the deal even sweeter for you. Sign the termination papers, and I won’t sue you for what you owe me.”

  Her gaze on Xavier remains steadfast, as if she’s waiting for him to waver, but he doesn’t. My heart swells with pride, and I feel silly for having even questioned what he was doing. Deep down, I knew that, at the end of the day, he’d do what is best.

  My eyes flick back and forth between Xavier and Angela as I take in their standoff. Unlike during the scene in the lobby, he’s the one who looks relaxed, like he has all the time in the world for this. She, on the other hand, seems skittish. As if she hadn’t expected him to pull the “child support” card. In reading her expression, I can tell that it never crossed her mind that, instead of gaining money, she’d end up owing it.

  Finally, she lets out a deep breath and tears her eyes from him. She picks up the papers and glances at the lawyer. “Are these legally binding? I sign these and we’re done with this. He can’t come after me for child support?”

  For the first time, the lawyer speaks. “Yes. He can’t sue you for child support, and you forfeit any and all parental rights over the child.”

  It sounds so clinical, and even though I know she’s better off, my heart hurts that Angela is so callously throwing this away. As angry as I want to be, I almost pity her because she will never know the beautiful, intelligent little girl she brought into this world.

  Without a second thought, Angela picks up the pen and signs the first document. She smirks when she picks up the other and reads the top. It’s too far away, so I have no idea what it says or why it brought on that reaction.

  She slides it across the table towards me and stands. “Congratulations. You officially have the family I never wanted.”

  And just like that, any pity I was feeling towards her melts away and is replaced by a confusing mixture of anger, gratitude, and confusion.

  She turns to Xavier, her expression steely. “And congratulations to you, too. You’ll never see me again.”

  Not soon enough, she leaves the room, not even giving Xavier one last parting glance. Just like that, she’s out of our lives as quickly as she came. Thank the freaking Lord.

  “Bitch,” I mutter under my breath.

  The lawyer and Xavier both laugh, causing me to give them a sheepish grin with a shrug.

  “Well, I had no idea what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t that. Now that it’s over with, let’s celebrate!”

  The triumphant smile on Xavier’s face nearly takes my breath away. He picks up the document Angela slid towards me and holds it out for me.

  “There’s just one more thing,” he says as I take it from him. “This one needs your signature.”

  Knitting my brow, I look down in confusion. My heart beats wildly as realization washes over me. Lifting my gaze to meet his, my mouth opens in shock.

  “Is this . . . ?” I ask, dumbfounded.

  He nods as he takes my hand again. “I know you once said you don’t need a piece of paper to show what’s in your heart, and you’re already Lily’s mom. But I’m selfish and I want it to be official. I don’t want you ever feeling like you’re less than equal as a parent or in our family. I love you, Kalli, and I will for the rest of my life. Will you do me the honor of being the mother of my child once and for all?”

  I blink twice as my eyes fill with tears. I swear I’ve cried more since I moved to Tennessee than I have in my entire life. Fortunately, they are nearly always happy tears, and that’s what they are now. Pure elation runs through my veins as I look from the adoption papers to him.

  “I’m beginning to love these little pieces of papers,” I whisper, laughing and crying at the same time. “Of course, Xavier. I couldn’t be more honored that you chose me. That you both did.”

  “We’re the lucky ones,” he whispers.

  Even though I want to protest, I know we could argue this point back and forth all day long. We’re all fortunate to have each other.

  After signing quickly, I chuck the pen at the table and throw my arms around him. “Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

  A chuckle rumbles his chest as he holds me tight. Pulling back, he cups my chin. “Crazy girl, I’m pretty sure I do. You were right, Kalli, and I’m glad you were there to talk some sense into me. It’s just . . . For a second, I wanted to take the easy way out. And then I realized that, with you, I could fight anything. For our family, I’d do anything. I hate that Lily’s gone so long without having a mom, but I’m so grateful that she has you. Blood or not, she’s yours. Just as I am. And always will be. Because I love you, Mrs. Cruz.”

  “Always have?” I ask.

  He grins, pressing a sweet kiss to my forehead, a move I will never tire of. “Always will. And now that you’re a Cruz, I think we should add a little something to that.”

  I look up at him, eyes narrowed. “Oh really?”

  His eyes shine as he places a kiss on my left cheek. “Always have.” Then a kiss to my right cheek. “Always will.” And then his lips hover just above mine as he gazes into my eyes. “No matter what.”

  AND THAT’S how I became Lily’s mom. That’s how we became a family. Sure, we may have done things in an unconventional way, but it was real, it was us, and nothing’s ever felt more right.

  What they say is true. Patience is a virtue. Every day, as I look at my husband and daughter, a swell of pride fills my heart. Because this is my family. For better or for worse. In sickness and in health. I’ll cherish them for the rest of my life.

  Although I may not technically be a Montgomery any longer, the mantra still rings true.

  I love them. Unconditionally. Wholeheartedly. Without measure.

  Always have.

>   Always will.

  No matter what.

  “MERRY CHRISTMAS, baby.” Xavier’s hand slides over my flat stomach and into my panties, causing shivers of anticipation to flow through my body as his warm breath tickles the skin at the nape of my neck.

  Ever since our first kiss, he’s continued to live and love his anticipation rule, and ever since, he’s proven himself right. No matter how long we’ve been together, I still anticipate his touch, his kiss, and my desire for him grows stronger every day. Even though it may have taken us a while to get here, it was entirely worth the wait.

  “Mmm. Merry Christmas indeed. How long do you think we have until she gets up?” I ask, squirming, trying to get his hands to go lower.

  He chuckles and pulls his hand out, eliciting a protesting whimper from me. “Wish we had time, but we have to go to your brother’s soon and I want to have enough time to enjoy our first Christmas as a family before all the chaos begins.”

  “It’s not nice to tease your wife on Christmas morning, Cruz,” I tease, turning over to catch his sly grin.

  “You love me,” he says, and I grin back. “I promise I’ll make it up to later.”

  “You better.”

  His gaze softens as he brushes my bangs out of my face. “I love you, Mrs. Cruz. This has been the best year of my life.”

  I smile. “‘Mrs. Cruz.’ I don’t think I’ll ever tire of hearing that,” I admit. “And I love you, too. Best year ever, and it’s only the beginning.”

  The words barely leave my mouth before I hear the chiming of the beads on Lily’s doorway, indicating that she’s up and moving. I lift the covers to ensure we’re properly clothed just in time for our door to fly open. We installed the system a couple of months ago after one mishap where she was too fast and we’d forgotten to lock the door. Considering that she’d just gone through sex education in health class, the scene led to a few interesting weeks in the Cruz household. Lily is crazy inquisitive and embarrassed by nothing—much to Xavier’s horror. Needless to say, we’re much more careful now.