Exposed Affections

by Rene Folsom

  “I’m not really hungry, Coda.”

  “That’s probably because your stomach doesn’t even know what food feels like anymore. Please, let us take you to brunch?”

  “Can we just eat here? I really don’t feel like going anywhere right now. I have some eggs in the fridge—I think.”

  They both nodded and allowed me to stay in bed while they cooked me some breakfast. The fact they knew of just how broken I was made me feel a bit looser than before. Although minor, I was able to lie in bed and catch my breath for once in the past two days.

  After nibbling on some food, I was in dire need of a shower. Without saying a word, they followed me into the bathroom and began removing their clothes.

  “Guys, my shower is not nearly as big as yours and—” Aiden shut me up with his fingers to my lips.

  “Let us take care of you.”

  “But, I’m still bleeding and—” Again, I was cut off, this time from Coda.

  “No more talking. Let’s just be together, okay?”

  I nodded as Aiden turned on the shower and ran his fingers beneath the stream to test the temperature. Holding out his hand, Coda helped me climb into the tub.

  Two sets of hands lavished every inch of my body as the soap cleansed my skin. The warm water seemed to rejuvenate me, even if it was just marginally. My legs felt weak and shook while I stood between these two glorious men. The feeling of Coda’s hands massaging my scalp with shampoo made me moan and sigh with the relaxed feeling that overtook me.

  Thankfully, they gave me a little privacy as I washed the rest of my sorrow down the drain. After going through what Rob did to me several years ago, and going through the more recent loss, I knew it would be best for me to push my grief aside and keep my feelings of inadequacy to myself. It was really the only way to recover from such a situation.

  Walking out of the bathroom in my robe, I heard Aiden and Coda talking in the living room. Catching Sid’s voice next had me turning abruptly to search for her face.

  “Julia!” she hollered, springing up from the couch as she saw me in the hallway. Pulling me in for a hug, she whispered in my ear, “I’m so sorry, sweetie. I’m so sorry I wasn’t here for you.”

  Looking over her shoulder, I glared at Aiden and Coda. Not because she knew, but because I wanted to be the one to tell her something so private.

  The next few hours were spent catching up with my friend. The time spent with Sid, Aiden, and Coda had the color returning to my face and my heart feeling a little less wrecked.

  Finally turning my phone back on, I checked my voicemail box. I wasn’t surprised to find it full. All the messages were worried rants from Aiden and Coda, except for one from the hospital lab and another from Lib. The lab just said they needed me to call them back, while Lib explained she needed me back to work as soon as humanly possible. Her ass was getting handed to her and being short a waitress was likely making things stressful for everyone.

  “Why not just go back to work tonight?” Sid asked me, while shoving a piece of pizza in her mouth. “I’m going in at six tonight. Since we still have another two hours, you have plenty of time to get ready.”

  “I’m still feeling rather shaky and weak. Do you think I’d really be helpful if I’m tired and depressed?” Aiden and Coda headed to their house about an hour before, so I felt a little better about sharing my true feelings with Sid while we were alone.

  “I think it’ll be healthy for you to force yourself to be happy, even if it is just a façade. You don’t have to let everyone else know just how fucked up the past week and a half has been for you. Pretending might be your way to escape the issues, even if it is for only a few hours a day.” Her honesty was refreshing and she had a point.

  “Okay, I’ll call Lib.”

  A few phone calls later and I had confirmed two things.

  Number one: the doctor assured me I was pregnant, that it was definitely too early to be the result of the attack, and that I should come in immediately for a follow up regarding the most recent issues I had. I was in no hurry to step foot back into that hospital, so I told the doctor I would call him another time.

  Number two: I was going to have to put on a happy face for a bunch of college frat boys on one of the busiest nights of the week.

  Sid was right. Forcing myself to act joyous really did make me feel better while I was at work. I took the easier sections, making sure I didn’t need to carry any heavy trays or walk up and down steps often.

  Aiden and Coda were displeased with the fact I went back to work so soon, but life didn’t wait for poor little Julia to feel better. The fact I let them pick me up and promised to stay the night at their house had them less argumentative than usual.

  That night after work, I stood in Aiden’s room and listened to the soft strumming of Dave Matthews Band as I began removing my clothing. After peeling my skirt and shirt from my skin, I stood in nothing but my bra and panties and looked down at my belly. I wondered what it would really be like to be pregnant—to have a life growing inside me. The fear I would never know that sensation consumed my soul.

  Cupping my hands over my stomach, I made a small heart shape with my fingers and thumbs over my bellybutton—a small gesture to remember the life I had lost and how much I wished my body would someday accept a baby.

  The clicking of a camera shutter made me look up in surprise. I thought I was alone, but Aiden had snuck up on me, camera in hand. Pulling my hands away from my stomach, as if to hide my thoughts from him, I backed away from Aiden and his picture box.

  “Please pretend I’m not here, Angel.”

  “That’s hard to do when you’re taking pictures of me, Mr. Stone.”

  “You’re just too beautiful not to photograph,” Coda said from behind me, startling me and making me gasp. He was slowly stalking toward me wearing nothing but a tattered pair of jeans lying deliciously low on his hips.

  Pressing his body up against mine, he tilted my face up and planted a gentle kiss to my lips. My stomach fluttered with the contact, making me realize how much I missed their intimate touch over the past few days.

  Coda gently turned me to face Aiden again, pressing his front to my back and wrapping his arms around my torso. He then placed his hands on my stomach and made the same heart shape I had just a few moments before. I nuzzled against his face as Aiden took our picture. It didn’t take long for Aiden to come forward and join us, pressing against my front and wrapping his arms around me.

  Oh, how I missed being the filling of a Stone sandwich. A small tear trickled down my cheek and landed on Aiden’s shoulder as I thought of what I was about to tell them.

  “It was yours.”

  Both men lifted their heads and looked at me as if they were asking what the heck I was talking about.

  “The baby—it was yours,” I repeated, staring off into the distance while speaking and never making eye contact with either one of them. “When I finally got in touch with the doctor, he said not enough time had spanned between the assault and when my blood was drawn for it to be his.”

  Grabbing my chin, Aiden forced me to look in his direction while we gently swayed to the music. “I had no doubt the baby was ours, Julia.” Pulling my face to his chest, he added, “Don’t worry about it for now. We’ll have plenty of opportunities again in the future.”

  I shook my head as my voice came out with a muffled sound against his chest. “I don’t think I can go through that again. It nearly killed me. Hell, it’s still killing me.”

  Grabbing my arm, Coda led me to the edge of the bed and sat me down. Both men knelt in front of me and held my hands.

  Before they could say anything to argue with me, I continued. “The doctor did say the trauma I had been through could have been the reason I miscarried, but I think he was just trying to make me feel better.”

  “Doctors don’t say things just to make you feel better, Jules. He probably told you that because it’s true,” Coda soothed.

  Looking at the cloc
k, I noticed it was nearing three in the morning. “I’m really tired. Think we can get some rest and talk about it in the morning?”

  In unison, they both nodded and stood up from the floor.

  After the shitty past few days, it felt good to be cuddled between Aiden and Coda. Unfortunately, the nightmares were the worst they had been in quite some time.

  Chapter 41

  “The devil may be associated with fire, but his evil stare was cold as ice.”

  I spent almost the entire next day in bed, not sleeping, but just lying there and thinking—feeling—mourning. At one point, I heard Coda on the phone with Detective Gowan, but he quickly made his way to his room and shut the door. Obviously, he didn’t want me to hear their conversation.

  Aiden had to spend several hours with Tanya at some hoity-toity function she was involved with. I felt petty with the fact that their pseudo marriage still bothered me. I shouldn’t be jealous, but the realization she got to spend time in public with Aiden made my insides tighten with envy.

  Dropping me off at work later that night, Coda promised he would be back in just a few hours. For the first time, I felt like Aiden and Coda were distant and not quite as overbearing as usual. The distance was just what I needed to get past this cornerstone in my life.

  As I was in my element, smiling kindly and getting tipped well for my efforts, a hand came out and brushed against my thigh. I quickly turned around to see who needed my attention and panic overtook every nerve in my body. My nightmares flashing back almost caused me to faint. I could feel all the blood leave my body as blackness enveloped my vision. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t see. I couldn’t think. I staggered backwards and bumped into other club patrons I had just waited on.

  I was in trouble and dread overpowered me.

  “I… Wha… Oh m-m… “ I began to stutter and my voice shook with fear. I felt the tears brimming my eyes, threatening to fall.

  “Hey, hon, you okay?” A guy behind me asked as he stood up and grabbed my waist, steadying me so I didn’t fall.

  All I could do was shake my head as I felt tears spill out and splash against my cleavage. I dropped my tray and covered my chest, pulling my shirt collar together in an attempt to hide.

  Within moments, Pete was next to me, holding me tight against his chest and asking everyone else to back away. I blinked and tried to focus on the nightmare that was in front of me.

  He was gone.

  Before I knew it, Coda was by my side. I didn’t know when he had arrived, nor did I care. I was just glad he was there. His voice and all the sounds around me were a muffled mess of confusion. I needed to get out of there.

  “Coda, it was Rob.” I was not just trembling, I was shaking so severely that I had a hard time staying in Pete’s arms.

  “Fuck! You’d think he’d take the damn restraining order seriously.”

  I interrupted him with urgency in my voice. “We need to tell Dex to catch him!” I was shouting and pointing toward the door.

  Looking over in Dex’s direction, I noticed he already had someone on the ground with his knee shoved into the man’s back. Hefting him up by his arms, Dex began to haul Rob out of the club. Leaving me with Pete, Coda sprang into action and barreled his way toward the man who haunted my memories.

  Dex knew what was coming—you could tell by the look of approval that flashed across his face moments before Coda’s fist met with Rob’s jaw. An audible whack and several grunts were heard over the loud music as Coda landed a brutal blow in a crude attempt to rearrange the bastard’s face. Several bouncers and patrons leapt up and held Coda back.

  Without realizing what I was doing, I ignored the chaos around me and approached the man who was intent on ruining my life.

  Dex yelled, “Julia, don’t you dare come any closer. Get your happy ass away while I drag this piece of shit out.”

  I was transfixed by the man—a sick man who was so dead-set on tearing me to pieces that he continued to dig himself further and further into his prison.

  “You won’t defeat me,” I said to him in a stern, yet shaky tone. The music was so loud, it probably drowned out the sound of my voice, but I was damn sure he had read my lips. An evil grin spread across Rob’s face before Dex jerked him into the direction of the door and disappeared.

  A chill ran through me. The devil may be associated with fire, but his evil stare was cold as ice.

  Coda approached me from behind, flexed his hand, and said, “The good thing about him showing up here is now his ass is going back to jail with absolutely no possibility of getting out on bail again.”

  “Christ. I can still feel his slimy hands on me. Why does he like to torture me?”

  “He’s sick, Julia. We’ll get him locked up. Don’t worry,” he said with a kiss to the top of my head. “It’s a good thing Aiden wasn’t here tonight, or we might’ve had to take a detour to the jailhouse. I have no doubt he would have tore that bilious bastard a new asshole. I’m going to step outside and call Detective Gowan—tell him to get his ass down here right away.”

  Of course, I had to talk to the police while Rob sat in the back of the cruiser. No one mentioned Coda hitting Rob, I guessed because no one blamed him. Poor Lib was probably going to fire me after all this negative attention had been brought to her club. It was no surprise when she let me go home early and asked Becky to take over my section on the floor. All I could do was apologize for the mess that was my life.

  Coda clutched my elbow and led me to the car in silence. Putting my hair up, I rode with the window down, enjoying the feel of breathlessness as the wind hit my face.

  As Coda drove me to his home, he sighed. “Julia, I know tonight came as a surprise to you, and I really don’t want to upset you more—”

  “Then don’t,” I said quietly, cutting him off before he could give me even more bad news.

  “You need to hear this from me,” he responded with a stern voice.

  Looking over at him with a sluggish gaze, I hoped the pleading in my eyes would be enough to get him to just drop it. No such luck.

  “Jules, your parents are the ones who posted bail.”

  You’d think I would have been shocked. I wasn’t. You’d think I would have felt betrayed. Well, yeah, but it just added to the years of treachery. I suddenly had no emotion, no feeling of the knife that was embedded into my back. The compounding disloyalty from my own parents no longer phased my heart of stone.

  My shrug and lack of concern seemed to fuel the fire in Coda’s veins.

  “Fuck, Julia!” he exclaimed as he hit the palm of his hand against the steering wheel, causing me to jump involuntarily with the loud thump that resonated through the small cab of the car. “I don’t understand how they can defend that fucker. I wish I could—”

  “Don’t bother,” I interrupted in any attempt to stop his irate outburst. “They’ve never stood by my side, Coda. I don’t expect them to now. Rob is the golden boy in their eyes. They believe every single lie that slithers its way from his lips. They always have. It doesn’t surprise me one little bit that they would be behind all this. They just have no idea what he’s put me through.”

  “Have you ever told them?”

  “I did, once. They accused me of trying to get attention and scolded me for almost dragging Rob’s good name down. At that point, I knew I couldn’t confide in them,” I explained with another shrug.

  “Well, if I have anything to say about it, they’re going to see the hell you’ve been put through and just what they’ve allowed to happen right beneath their noses.”

  Before I could argue, Coda shut the car off. I assumed Aiden and Tanya weren’t home yet and the thought made me frown. I wanted nothing more than to be wrapped up in a Stone taco at that moment.

  As we made our way up the stairs toward the bedroom, I had a thought.

  “Did you text Aiden and tell him what happened tonight?”

  “No. The function is really important to Tanya and I figured things were handled
without his hotheaded, barbaric response. He’ll likely be pissed at me for not telling him right away though,” he said with a shake to his head.

  “No doubt.”

  “I know you had something to eat before work, but are you hungry?”

  Setting my things down with a loud clop on the floor, I shook my head. “No. I couldn’t eat a thing. Water would be great though.”

  “Okay. I’m going to grab myself a snack, and I’ll bring you up some water in a bit,” he said before surprising me with a kiss that made me weak in the knees. His warm tongue tangled with mine with fierce urgency as if his life depended on tasting me one more time.

  “I’ll be right back,” he whispered against my lips, leaving me gasping for air.

  Even though his kiss seemed to stir some sort of life inside me, I was still thankful to have a few moments to myself. The bleeding and cramping had ebbed quite a bit since Thursday morning, but I still felt like a walking crime scene.

  Taking a much-needed shower, I crawled my panty-clad ass into Aiden’s bed with a wet head and buried my face into the pillow. I briefly noticed a bottle of water sitting on the bedside table, but there was still no Coda. I didn’t think I was tired, but must’ve fallen asleep much sooner than anticipated because I woke up to someone grabbing at me from behind.

  My body tensed with uncertainty as I roused with a startled jolt.

  “Shh, Angel. It’s just me.”

  Aiden.

  Without saying another word, Aiden held me tight for several minutes. Coda’s quiet descent into the bed was so gentle, I almost didn’t notice. With Aiden’s arms wrapped around my body and Coda’s hand stroking through my hair, I felt safe—complete. I longed for the day I would feel safe again without the assistance of any man, but for now, I took comfort in knowing these two brothers would be there for me.

  Chapter 42

  “I only felt more pain—agony that my new friend had to go through the heartache I was dealing with.”