My Safe Place

by Steph Poe

Now the warm hand expands to two warm arms wrapped around me. I lay my head on his shoulder. I'm in my safe place, Cal's arms.

  His breath tickles my ear. "You fainted, pretty girl. You fell and hit your head on the sidewalk."

  I don't want to move, but I need to see his face. I pull away from him and there it is. Golden brown eyes, perfect soft lips, dark brown full beard with just a few flecks of gray. His skin is smooth and tanned. The way he is looking into my eyes makes me feel like I'm the most important person in his world.

  "Cal? Where is he?" My eyes dart past Cal and start searching my surroundings.

  Cal smoothes my hair and cups both of his hands around my face. "He's gone, baby. Don't worry about anything. He's not going to hurt you. I won't let him."

  "I've never fainted in my life. One minute I was waiting for you, and then it was him and not you. He tried to grab me." I feel myself start shaking. Cal squeezes me tighter against him.

  "Shh, I took care of him. Here, let's get you inside so you can warm up." Cal stands up while still holding onto me. He doesn't let go of me, even for a second. Even though he's holding me tight, I still feel wobbly. If he releases me, I know I'll fall. "Lake, I think maybe we should take you to the hospital. This bump looks pretty bad." He touches my forehead above my left eye softly and it makes me wince in pain.

  "I don't need the hospital. I'm sure it's fine. Maybe I just need an ice pack and some aspirin." I hate hospitals. I spent too much time in one when my mom was sick. It was so hard watching someone I love slowly lose their battle with cancer. Although I appreciated all of the doctors and nurses who helped her, I still can't stomach being in a hospital right now.

  Cal looks worried. I manage to give him a reassuring smile. "Really, Cal. I'm fine. Will you please take me home?" He lets out a sigh and then smiles at me. I'm relieved to be getting my way. I hear Ashton's voice coming towards us.

  "Oh my God! Lake! What the hell happened?" She rushes over and pulls me away from Cal to hug me as I stumble a little.

  "It was Chris. He was here. He tried to grab me, and then I guess I fainted and hit my head on the ground." I flash Cal an appreciative grin. "Cal was here and stopped him."

  "What? What the hell was Chris doing here? What's going on, Lake?" I squeeze my eyes shut because now, with Ashton's loud voice, my head is starting to hurt worse.

  Thankfully, Cal steps in and wraps me in his arms once again. "Ashton, everything is fine. But Lake did get a pretty big bump on her head. I'm gonna take her home so she can rest. She'll talk to you about what happened tomorrow."

  Ashton glares at Cal, like she isn't sure if she wants to trust him. I know she's being overprotective. She knows everything that Chris did to me, and more importantly how it affected me afterwards. It's pretty amusing watching her tiny five-foot, four-inch body turned towards six-foot-two Cal like she wants to rip me from his arms and take me away.

  I reach out and touch her arm. "Really, Ash. I'm fine. I just want to get some ice on this bump and go to sleep."

  Finally she turns and looks at me. Her expression softens and she reaches out to pull me in a hug again. She speaks softly in my ear. "I'm sorry that Chris was here, honey. And I'm sorry that I wasn't out here with you. I never should have let you come out here alone."

  "It's not your fault, Ash. No worries. And don't worry about Cal either. He's a good one. He'll keep me safe." We release each other and Cal immediately grabs me again. "I'll call you tomorrow." I reassure my friend.

  Matt puts his arm around Ashton. "Sorry, Lake. You're in good hands." He leans in and kisses my cheek.

  "Thanks, Matt. Sorry our evening got ruined."

  "No problem. There's always next weekend." He shakes Cal's hand and then he and Ashton turn and walk back into the bar.

  I lean my head into Cal's chest and he pulls me closer. "Let's get you home."

  Chapter 17

  There's only one place I want to be right now, and that's in the comfort of my own home. As soon as we walk through my door, I walk through the kitchen and over to the french door that leads to the backyard. I give Tubbs a quick pat before I open the door and let him run outside. I close the door behind him and stare out into the yard.

  My backyard is fenced in so Tubbs can run around and play without me worrying that he will escape. Beyond the fenced area, there is a row of tall maple trees. I love being able to just look outside and focus on nature. It helps me relax. The patio just off of the french doors is only a concrete slab. I have a small wrought iron bistro table and two chairs where I like to sit and drink my coffee when the weather is nice. Someday I would love to have a deck built with a pergola where I could have lush vines growing all around the wood.

  "I made you some tea. I grabbed a couple aspirin and all I could find in your freezer was a bag of tater tots. I know it's not a frozen bag of peas, but it should work okay." Cal comes up behind me and wraps his arm around my waist. I lean my head on his shoulder. "Come on, let's go sit down."

  "I need to let Tubbs inside."

  "I got it babe. Go sit down and relax." He kisses me on the forehead and walks over to the back door.

  I sit on the couch and grab the blue fleece blanket that is draped on the armrest. I pull my feet under myself and wrap the blanket around me. Cal hands me my tea and sits down right by my side. He puts his arm around my shoulder and I curl my body closer to his. He has the frozen tater tots that he wrapped in a towel and gently presses it against the bump on my forehead. Taking a sip of my tea, I begin to feel the chill in me subside despite the ice-cold, makeshift compress on my head. Tubbs is already asleep on the floor in front of the couch. In this moment of contentment, I can almost forget what happened tonight. But I have questions for Cal about what happened when I fainted. Curiosity wins out over my comfort.

  "I don't remember much of anything. I know Chris was so close to me and I panicked. I think I was in shock. I haven't seen him face to face in three years." I lean forward to set my mug down on the coffee table in front of me. Then I curl back into my position next to Cal and he places the ice pack back on my forehead. "He asked if I got his letter. I didn't answer him. Then I saw his hand reach out to touch me. It was like slow motion. I didn't know if he was going to grab me and take me somewhere." I shudder at the thought and Cal pulls me closer to him.

  "I didn't let him touch you. I was walking up to the door of the bar when I looked over and saw him hovering over you. I didn't even stop to think. I just knew I needed to protect you." He kisses my forehead on the opposite side of my bump and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

  "I walked up behind him and saw him reaching out for you, so I grabbed his arm and spun him around to face me. He swung at me and missed. He was obviously drunk. I punched him in the face. I was so pissed off." Cal shakes his head as he looks away from me. "He got away before I could say anything to him. I saw that you were lying on the sidewalk and I rushed over to you. I turned back to where I left him and he was already gone. I'm sorry I let him get away, Lake."

  I lean my head on his chest, right over his heart and listen to the soft rhythm. I wrap my arms around his trim waist and hold him tightly. "Thank you for protecting me Cal." I close my eyes and breathe in his clean, soapy smell. He tightens his hold on me, letting me know that I'm safe.

  *****

  When I wake up in the morning, I'm in my bed and I am too warm. Sweating, in fact. I open my eyes and see that I'm laying on my side with my arm around Tubbs and Cal is spooning me with his arm around me. I'm a Lake sandwich and even though I'm burning up, it warms my heart. It feels so comforting and normal to wake up like this.

  I don't want to get up, but my bladder isn't giving me a choice. I give Tubbs a couple of pats and tell him to get up. He turns his head and looks at me that says I'm too comfortable, Mom. Don't make me move.

  "Sorry, buddy. It's time to get up." I nudge him off of the bed and he reluctantly jumps down. I try to get up, but Cal pulls me back down against him.

  "Where yo
u going?" he mumbles as he kisses the back of my neck.

  "I've got to let Tubbs outside." I turn and give him a kiss on his cheek and climb out of bed. My feet hit the hardwood floor and it's freezing. I grab a pair of socks and put them on quickly before heading to the back door where I let Tubbs out to do his business.

  There is a light fog over everything and the sun hasn't quite risen yet. I can barely see the maple trees beyond the fence. Tubbs runs around and I lose sight of him beyond the fog. I head back into my bedroom and see that Cal has fallen back asleep. I decide to let him rest as I head into my bathroom. I grab my toothbrush and wet it before putting a bit of toothpaste on it, wetting it again before I start brushing. I think back to last night and feel so strange about what happened. I've never had a situation where I felt outside of my own body. I remember my vision going blurry and Chris's voice sounding...off. Like he was ten feet away from me and yet, he was barely a foot away. I can't remember exactly, but I feel like he said something...strange before I fainted. Or was I imagining it? I search my brain but come up with nothing. I spit and rinse my mouth out and place my toothbrush back in the cup right next to the sink. I take a quick look in the mirror and my hand goes to the bump on my forehead. It's still sore, but it's not as bad as I thought it would be. It's a lot smaller than I imagined as well, just a little raised, slightly bruised bump that's tender when I touch it.

  When I come back out, Cal is turned towards me and his eyes are open, looking at me seductively. The blanket is only covering his bottom half, so I have a great view of his naked chest. I can't help but smile at him. He looks so damn good in my bed.

  "Come here," he says is a low, sexy voice. The sound of his voice alone makes me shiver. As I walk over to him, I pull my t-shirt over my head and throw it on the floor. He pulls back the blanket giving me a glimpse of his full naked body before I crawl into bed and into his waiting arms.

  He pulls me close to him and my face nuzzles his bare chest. The comfort I feel just from inhaling his scent is glorious. I have never felt as secure as I do when I'm with Cal. I start to kiss his chest and he runs his hand lightly up and down my back. I move my kisses to his left nipple and I run my tongue over the tip in light stroking motions. Cal moans and grips me tighter against him, and I feel his hardened length rub against my stomach.

  I reach down and stroke him. He takes both of his hands and grabs my hips and lifts me up so I'm straddling him. He reaches down between us and softly strokes me before positioning me over him and pulling me down onto him in one fierce movement. I cry out at the instant feeling of fullness and fall onto his chest and let him move in and out, in and out again, slowly this time. He pushes me off of his chest so I'm sitting up on him while he grabs my hips again and guides me to move the way he wants.

  I love it when he takes control. I never thought I would like that, but being with someone I love and trust, I feel like I crave it. I want him to be in complete control of me in bed. I have naughty thoughts running through my head. I want him to hold me down and do what he wants with me. Wait. What? I find myself shaking my head.

  Cal notices and holds me still for a minute. "You okay, baby? Is it your head?"

  "No, my head is fine. I was just thinking too much." I shake my head to try to forget the confusing thoughts. How could I desire something that once led to one of the worst things that's ever happened to me?

  "You can talk to me. Whatever you are thinking, just tell me."

  I bite my lip and hesitate for a moment. I'm not sure what he will think but looking into his eyes, I feel like I can trust him with anything, even these crazy thoughts.

  "I...I really like...when you...take control of me...in bed." His eyebrows rise a little, but he stays quiet waiting for me to continue. His eyes study mine, reaching deep trying to understand me.

  "What are you asking me, Lake?"

  I can't look him in the eye when I say quietly, "I want you to tie my wrists...and do whatever you want to me." His hand comes up and grips my chin softly bringing my eyes to his. They are burning with desire.

  "Are you absolutely sure you want this?" I bite my lip again and slowly nod my head.

  "I feel like this is the way to heal me, to help me move on from my past." I tell him. "I trust you, Cal. I want to show you that I trust you."

  I need to face my fears. I trust Cal to be the one to help me do it. I know that he'll stop if I need him to. He won't hurt me.

  He sits up and kisses me, removing me from him and setting me on the bed before walking into my closet. I am in a little bit of disbelief. I'm confused at my body and my mind. I never thought I would be at a place where I could do this; where I could face my fears head on and move on from the past.

  I look up and watch Cal emerge from my closet in all his naked glory and he has something in his hands. It's the red silk belt that goes with my robe. He has it wrapped in his hands. His tanned fingers hold the red silk, and he's blazing fire at me through his eyes as he stalks towards me. I feel thrilled and excited. I feel anticipation rush through me. I don't feel any fear or hesitation, which surprises me.

  "Lie down in the middle of the bed and put your hands above your head." I do as he tells me. He climbs on the bed and kneels next to me. He grabs my left wrist and then my right, bringing them together. I feel the silk belt wrap around my wrists, binding them together. It feels cool against my heated skin. He pulls on the belt and it makes my fingers touch the wrought iron headboard. I can't see what he is doing, but it feels like he is tying the belt to the headboard. He finishes his task and brings his face close to mine.

  He whispers softly, "Is this okay?" I nod my head. "If you want me to stop, just say it and I will stop immediately. Do you understand?" His eyes are intense and the tone of his voice serious. I nod my head in response. "Tell me."

  "I understand. I trust you," my voice comes out in a small whisper.

  Cal moves his body to cover mine. His eyes don't leave mine as he brings his hand up to my face and runs his finger over my lips. My mouth starts to water and I have the desire to taste him. I lean my head into his touch and pull his finger into my mouth and suck on it, hard, as I keep my eyes on his and I see his pupils dilate.

  "Fuck," he groans, before pulling his finger out of my mouth and trailing it down my chest and using it to circle my breasts. His mouth covers my hardened nipple and I have the urge to reach down and run my fingers through his hair and I pull at the tie and it barely gives, reminding me that I'm bound to the headboard. I am completely at his mercy. He can do what he wants to me. It feels...exhilarating...freeing. I don't have to over-think, although my first instinct is always to over-think. But I don't this time. I can just feel. And right now, I feel a burning inside. I feel like I'm on fire. Every part of me is flaming in anticipation of what he will do next.

  His warm mouth is exploring my skin. He's moving so slowly, taking his time with each kiss. I can hardly stand it. I'm already so ready for him. I move my hips against him trying to get him to give me what I need. I feel his dick hard against my thigh and it's driving me mad.

  His mouth moves to my hips. When he runs his tongue from my hipbone to the inside of my inner thigh, I practically scream at him.

  "Please, Cal!"

  "Hold still, baby. I'll take care of it." His finger glides across me. Up and down he draws a line over and over until I feel like I can't take anymore. This is torture. But torture never felt so good.

  I breathe a sigh because I know my relief is coming soon—literally. He climbs in between my legs, nudging them farther apart with his knee.

  I'm fighting myself to stay quiet with my eyes squeezed closed. I want to tell him to get inside of me, now. But I wanted him in control. I always try to control everything. Part of me wants to regain control of this situation, but a stronger part of me is wanting to just let go and enjoy everything he is giving me. Every sensation, touch, kiss, lick. I want to just feel.

  "Let go, baby. Relax. You're thinking too much. Open your eyes
. Look at me." I open them and focus on his.

  "I want you to let go." He moves up to me and puts his lips over mine slowly. I'm frantic and fighting the urge to shove my tongue in his mouth, but I don't. I wait as he kisses me so softly, with no urgency. I let go. I let him guide me. His tongue caresses my upper lip and then my lower before finally parting them and finding mine to begin a slow dance. It's a sensual kiss. I'm really enjoying it now that I've stopped over-thinking.

  His hands run up and down my body as we kiss. His right hand grips my hip tightly as he pushes himself against me. I feel his breathing increase and I know that going slow is hard for him too. It makes me feel better about my impatience.

  Finally his hand disappears in between my legs and when I feel his fingers enter me, I practically jump off of the bed.

  I cry out, "Yes, oh yes, Cal!" He glides in and out, finding the spot inside that intensifies the tightening of my core. I'm right at the edge. I feel my muscles tighten and, right before I fall, his mouth is down there on me, stroking his tongue over me as his fingers continue their assault as he guides me to an amazingly powerful orgasm that I feel all through my body, to my fingertips.

  He doesn't give me any time to recover before he's lifting my legs so my ankles are by his neck, and then he slams into me, making us both cry out. He's so deep in this position and it hurts a little at first before it turns into a slow burn of pleasure.

  I feel his body tense up in that familiar way before he finds his release and pours it inside of me. I want to run my fingernails down his back and pull him against me. I want to be as close to him as I possibly can, but my hands are bound.

  His body goes limp and he collapses on top of me. We lay together until our breathing returns to normal. His head turns up to study my face.

  "How do you feel?"

  "Satisfied."

  He chuckles at my response before rising up on his elbows, pulling his weight off of me and moving to my side where he reaches for my bound hands. He unties them from the headboard and lowers my arms down. They feel a little numb, but it goes away quickly when he massages them to get the blood flowing again. He unties the silk from my wrists and runs kisses along the pink marks on my skin.