by L. J. Stock
With a grunt, Dustin moved faster, his lips brushing my shoulder as the heat between us brought beads of sweat to my exposed skin. The pressure in my stomach grew, and a feeling of pure joy rose inside of me. I could see why people liked sex so much,—why the need for more was always there. The pleasure that raced through the surface of my skin lit every nerve with happiness and euphoria. I never wanted to let it go.
I felt like I was standing on the very edge of a cliff about to jump, when Dustin barked out an indecipherable word and slammed his body against mine, the corded muscles of his neck straining against his skin. Then he collapsed on me.
I understood what this meant. I wasn’t completely oblivious to sexual stories, but I wasn’t upset, either. Running my hands through his hair, I allowed my trembling legs to slide to his sides. The only discomfort was that I felt like a bottle of soda all shook up with nowhere to go.
“I’m sorry. I’m such an asshole.”
“Not what I was thinking at all,” I whispered.
“You don’t understand…”
“I’m not that much of an idiot, Dustin.”
His body was still flush with mine, but he shifted slightly, his hand working down between us. I opened my mouth to ask what he was doing, but it slapped shut the moment his finger rubbed a tender spot that sent my blood soaring.
“Oh, God.”
“Having an older brother has its advantages, after all,” he whispered, claiming my lips and pressing down, rubbing in rough circles. Between one breath and the next, the universe lit up in white around me, and the world faded as pure ecstasy took over every part of my consciousness.
Chapter Seven
I woke up the next morning feeling warm, sore, and oddly content. There was an arm under my head, a hand on my boob and some very hairy legs that were tangled ungainly with mine.
Dustin hadn’t left during the night.
Peeling one eye open, I glanced over to the side of the bed he was occupying and grinned openly. Still asleep, Dustin looked more peaceful than I’d seen him in the week that I’d known him. His long, dark lashes brushed against his cheeks. His broad jaw was covered with an even thicker layer of rough stubble than the night before, and his swollen lips were curved upward at the corners like he was dreaming about something good. The peace lingering around his features was something I liked seeing, and I wanted to see him like that more often, while he was awake.
Slipping my hand from where it was trapped between our bodies, I moved cautiously, stretching my fingers with the need to touch his face to make sure he wasn’t just a glorious figment of my imagination.
“Are you staring at me?” he asked without warning, making me jump. With a slap against his bared chest, I rolled completely so I was facing him, a small chirp falling from my lips at the ache between my legs that the movement had revealed.
“I’m sorry, does that freak you out?” I asked, feeling brave and kissing his chin.
After our night spent together, there was a comforting familiarity between us, and the intimacy felt right. We had talked after we’d had sex. We’d shared even more hours of conversation about our lives as we dozed in and out of sleep. I’d discovered more about him in those hours spent alone together. Dustin loved animals. He had three horses, a pot-bellied pig, and a goat. His older brother was his idol, and when Dustin was in trouble, he went to Rett rather than his dad. Rett was four years older than him and was the golden child before he lost his ranch and land in some stupid altercation. That was the second time he’d mentioned that without going into detail. The only person in the team Dustin considered a friend was Troy Clifton. The two of them had been friends as long as he could remember, and Troy was the only person he’d told about his dad’s threat, his mom’s cancer, and the mysterious girl he was seeing. Me.
Everything Dustin revealed only made me like him more. He wasn’t the person everyone seemed to think he was. He was sweet, adoring, funny, and smart. No one, not even his dad, knew that he had an academic scholarship in the works at his top three schools. If he decided not to pursue football, he still had a very stable leg to stand on, and a way out of Childress for good—something he seemed as excited about as I was.
“No,” he said, pushing my hair back over my shoulder. “It actually turns me on.”
I laughed quietly, and sighed in contentment as he pulled me closer to his warm body, ensuring there was no air between us. Burying his face in my neck, I took advantage of the situation and folded my arms around his broad shoulders happily, my cheek resting against the top of his head as I tried my hardest not to think about what inevitably had to happen next. I couldn’t give him up now, even though it was technically a moral stain on my otherwise clean record… along with some of those little white lies to keep me out of trouble.
“Stop it,” he whispered quietly against my neck, his silken lips brushing against my skin reverently, and the whiskers of his unshaven face rough in comparison. I liked the contrast of sensations and took a moment to respond.
“Stop what?”
“Thinking about it.”
“About what?” I asked dreamily, completely lost in the sensation of him.
“About what comes next and what happens now. Whatever it is you’re thinking, it’s pointless, Mik. I can’t stay away from you now, and you can’t ask me to. You know as well as I do it’s not worth even thinking about. I also know you’re worried about how this looks for you, but shouldn’t it only matter that you and I know the truth? The relationship out there isn’t real. You and I are the real deal. You can’t deny that after last night.”
“Well, I wasn‘t thinking that in depth,” I admitted, rubbing my cheek against his hair. “I was thinking more that we should probably at least consider what comes next.”
“Well, now you know how I feel.” He chuckled and grabbed my breast, squeezing the flesh teasingly before rolling on his back and glancing up to meet my eyes.
“And this means we have a relationship now?” I asked, my stomach flip-flopping happily. “And here I was hoping for some cheap sex.”
“Now you get a sense of humor about it all?” he asked, the words fading into a chuckle. “I would give you anything you wanted. Well, anything but freedom to date other people, anyway.”
“No one else knows I exist, Mr. Hypocrite.”
“Jesus, I know,” he whispered, every trace of humor falling away. “And believe me, I know how lucky I am to have finally seen you. If I didn’t have to follow my dad’s fucked up rules, I would be taking you to school on Monday so everyone could see just how lucky I am. Libby is nothing to me. She never was when I think about it. I was just a convenient accessory for her, and I let her get her own way because it was easier.”
“For sex?” I asked shyly, my thighs rubbing together of their own volition.
“Mediocre sex, but yes. I was a stupid teenage boy.”
“You still are.” I paused and waited for a beat before continuing. “Not stupid, but a teenager.”
I grinned so he’d know I was just messing with him.
“Just much smarter now.” He brushed some stray hair from my face with his index finger and smiled sadly.
“I don’t mind us being a secret,” I confessed with absolute honesty.
“I do.” He kissed my temple before extracting his arm from below me and rolling from the bed to a stand.
Once on his feet, Dustin strode into the bathroom, completely unabashed by his nakedness. It was only when the door closed behind him did I cover my eyes and let the giggle of sheer joy escape from me. My whole world had been turned upside down by one person, and I was sitting there like a giddy child allowing my imagination to go wild. I was also oddly unfazed by the fact that I’d lost my virginity on a whim to a guy who was—fake, but officially—dating another girl.
I understood I should have felt some semblance of remorse about that, but he was right about the extenuating circumstances. Both of them knew their dating was only to give Libby the boost she
needed to win the title of homecoming queen, and whatever title the Winter Formal would give her. Dustin had informed me of the latter deal, not knowing that I’d overheard the agreement for myself at the game. Dating him was still wrong, but his sentence with Libby was only a couple of months at best. If she was vapid enough to get her titles through a lie and blackmail, then who was I to punish Dustin for that? He hadn’t made that decision, nor had he agreed to date her outside of blackmail and collusion. It wasn’t as though I wanted the attention that constantly surrounded him. I wanted to keep my anonymity, and I was going to be forced into another year at Childress High once he’d escaped to college. Maybe our agreement would work out better for the two of us this way – a clandestine love affair—the thing of great romance novels.
“You’re doing that thinking thing again,” Dustin accused as he leaned against the frame of the door that led to the bathroom, a towel now hanging low on his hips. I blinked up out of my own thoughts, not even realizing he’d opened the door again.
“They’re all good thoughts, believe me.” I smiled, a gesture that was returned with just as much enthusiasm. When his smile reached his eyes, I basked in the look and took pleasure in knowing I’d been the one to put it there. I don’t think I’d ever been so happy in my life.
“I’ll let it slide then.” He pointed with his thumb over his shoulder. “Can I use your shower?”
I nodded in agreement and watched as he pushed away from the frame and disappeared back into the bathroom. My cheeks were red, and my heart raced at the thought of him naked… in my shower. I rolled, burying my face in the pillow the moment he was out of sight, and I laughed at my own ridiculousness. This was actually my life. Dustin Hill was naked in my shower, and I was naked in my bed after we’d spent the night together. How the hell could so much change in twenty-four hours?
A hum of appreciation sounded from behind me as my legs scissored, and I stiffened, wondering just how long Dustin had been standing there watching me again.
“You could join me. You know, conserve water and shit,” he said in a deep baritone. Lifting my head, I glanced back at him once again standing in the doorframe and naked in all his glory—a state he seemed to be utterly comfortable in. “And I admit it, I’ve always been curious about shower sex.”
He wandered back into the bathroom, and I dropped my head back on the pillow the moment he was gone. This time I squealed into the thick fabric. One night. One night with this guy was all it took for me to see the world in a whole new set of colors. I felt braver, stronger, more passionate about every breath I took than I had before. Wrapping my courage around myself, I threw the comforter from my body, bounced out of the bed and sprinted toward the bathroom with a quiet peal of laughter.
Dustin left me with regret late in the afternoon. Neither of us seemed inclined to say goodbye. Whether we chose to acknowledge it or not, there had been a line in our relationship that had been crossed, and the previous state of shy boldness had given way to intimate familiarity. Sex hadn’t complicated whatever connection we had together. Intimacy had clarified the boundaries, and taken away the inhibitions that had kept me at a distance.
I couldn’t get enough of Dustin now. When we were within a foot of one another, we had this insatiable need to be touching. Whether that meant simply holding hands or our bodies pressed tightly together as we made out. The magnetism was now a permanent part of the air between us, something that had become abundantly clear in the few hours we’d had together that morning.
I hadn’t so much as thought about the other aspects of my life since I’d surrounded myself with him. Those aspects namely being my best friend, godmother, or the groceries I was supposed to have picked up the morning before. If I’d allowed myself think about my ignorance too much, I wouldn’t have been quite so surprised when Megan came crawling through my window just before five that afternoon.
It was a testament to how well she knew me that one look was all she needed to know something was going on. Standing with her hands on her hips and her purse hung diagonally over her body, she gave me the once over as I sat up and impaled my bottom lip with my teeth to stop the smile that had been plastered there all day.
“Okay, I expected to walk in and find you half-starved and emaciated, and here you are looking as ecstatic as you did when you discovered emancipation of a minor was a real thing. What the hell put the happy in you?”
I started laughing. The notion was silly, immature, and utterly childish, but I was so giddy it was hard to keep a straight face when the connotations were so crudely obvious to me. I felt like anything dark and moody had been taken from my life, leaving me only with light and happiness to hold close. I couldn’t stop the laughter even when I pulled my knees to my chest and rolled onto my side.
Megan’s laughter joined mine easily. Even as perplexed as she was by my behavior, she kicked off her shoes and dropped onto my bed, shaking her head in disbelief. I couldn’t believe I was so miserable on a daily basis that I warranted that kind of incredulousness. At least I hoped I wasn’t.
“Have you been overtaken by an alien? Pod people? Have you discovered pot?” she asked, gripping my arms as her laughter died and a grin took its place. “I’m your best friend, asshole. Spill the details.”
“You won’t believe me even if I tell you,” I choked out, slowly sobering. My smile was still firmly in place, but reality seemed to be licking at the sides of joy, grounding me just enough to meet her gaze.
“Of course I will. You’re my best friend. If I don’t, you can always convince me later. My curiosity is becoming painful here.” She slapped my arm playfully, her eyes widening in her way of persuasion.
Blowing all the air from my lungs, I tried to catch my breath and straighten my face. There was no way I could put this into words. I could barely admit what had happened in my own head. Megan was the only person in the world I wanted to even tell about what had happened the night before, and I was having a hard time finding the words to do that.
“Mikayla Elise Quinten,” she said in a perfect imitation of her mom. The smile ruined the effect, but the intention was enough to pull my attention back to her.
“I…” I put up my hand and asked for another minute as the words stuck in my throat.
“Goddammit, Miki. Give me a hint.”
“Boy.”
Megan’s eyes opened wide, her smile growing just enough to see that she was finding the path I was attempting to lead her down. “You met someone?”
“Yes,” I said, the words becoming more accessible, even as my finger moved to my mouth and I nibbled on my nails. “And you know him.”
“Girl, if you don’t start talking, I’m gonna wring you like a washcloth. Who is it?”
“Dustin Hill.”
The silence between us was absolute. With the last syllable of Dustin’s name leaving my lips, even her breathing stopped. Unable to read the blank mask of shock she was wearing, I tried to wait her out and show her the patience she hadn’t offered me, but after a full minute lapsed, I began to panic.
“You don’t believe me.” Not a question and I didn’t phrase it that way. In that long minute of silence, I’d managed to put myself in her shoes and actually thought the same thing. Dustin and me, we didn’t make sense. Disbelief was the only logical conclusion she could have.
“No. I mean… it’s not that I don’t… I mean.” She looked up, meeting my eyes and holding them for the longest time before a full-bodied laugh escaped. “You’re not fucking with me are you?”
I shook my head and gave a giddy chuckle.
“Start from the beginning and tell me everything.”
I told her as much as I could without giving away anything I knew Dustin wouldn’t want me to say out loud. He’d explained to me last night that only one person knew about his mom, and that was Troy, so I kept that and other personal things he’d told me to myself. Instead, explaining as best I could, that his dad was holding something over his head, but it wasn’t my
story to tell what exactly that was.
Megan, always a great listener, said nothing until I was explaining my morning to her. Even then her interruptions were only to clarify little pieces of what I’d said. Apparently, I still had the ability to shock her, which was refreshing, considering how much I’d shocked myself. By the time I was finished, her eyes were the size of tractor wheels.
“You kept this to yourself this long?” she accused, pushing her bottom lip out in a pout. “Why would you do that?”
“Meg, come on. What was I supposed to say? I never dreamed something would come of my time with him. Up until last night, all we’d done was talked.”
“You mean Friday.”
“Yes, I suppose I do.” I grinned at her and shrugged my shoulders. “Am I being stupid?”
“Emphatically, no,” she said throwing her arms out in exclamation. “We’re talking about Dustin Hill, Mik.”
“You talk about him like he belongs in Hollywood.”
“Well, to be fair…”
“Meg.” Shaking my head, I grabbed her hands and squeezed. “Okay, you’re right, he has a look about him that everyone appreciates. And he’s the center of attention everywhere he goes because he’s a genius on the field, but none of that matters to me. In fact, if this were based on his popularity alone, I would never have paid attention to him. He’s so much more. He can talk about anything. He’s funny and kind and so smart. He likes the same kind of music I do, but more than any of that... he sees me, Meg. Really sees me, even when I’m doing my best to hide. It’s exciting and scary all at the same time.”
“About time someone saw how amazing you are,” she said, pulling me close and wrapping her arms around me with a squeeze. “I really love seeing you this happy and hopeful. Just… promise you’ll be careful. Libby has always been territorial about Dustin, and if she sets her sights on you, you’re fucked.”