Ruined Plans

by Tracy Lorraine

  “I think that’s the doorbell.”

  “Sorry, what?” I have to ask after losing myself in my thoughts again. How do I lose all sense when I’m around him? It’s truly embarrassing. I’m an intelligent woman; no man should have the power to render me stupid like this.

  “The doorbell,” he says, pointing towards the house. If the strain on his lips is anything to go by, I’d say he’s trying really hard not to laugh at me. To be fair, if the situation were reversed I’d be laughing at me.

  “Of course. See you later.”

  “Later, baker girl,” I hear him say as I walk away from him.

  “Cara! Oh my God, it’s so good to see you,” I exclaim when I pull the front door open to reveal my childhood best friend. I reach my arms out and pull her into a hug. It’s a shame we never stayed friends but we were young and it was inevitable.

  “Mum said you were back and gave me your number, but I had a free couple of hours so thought I’d stop by.”

  “I’m so glad; come in,” I say, meaning every word of it. I think a friend is just what I need.

  I put the kettle on while Cara stands, looking amazed, by my barely started cake. “You still like to cook, then?”

  “Yes, love it. But I haven’t had much chance until now.”

  “I heard you were a big shot lawyer in London. It must feel like you’ve come back down to earth with a bump being back here.”

  “Not really. I never wanted to leave, but when my life went to hell in hand basket it was the only place I wanted to be.”

  “I’m sorry about your marriage.”

  “I’m not,” I say, shocking the hell out of her. “It was never going to last. I’m just glad I found out when I did that he was a cheating wanker. I’d have hated myself if I stuck around longer and found out it had been going on for years.”

  “You don’t miss your old life then?”

  “Nope.” I say, placing a mug of tea down in front of her. “I think I was always meant to be here but I needed something to happen to show me how true that was.”

  “What about you? Blake said you’re a designer now. That’s incredible. I remember how much you used to love to draw.”

  “Self-employed designer,” she says, pointing to herself. “I didn’t want to move to the city so I decided to do it myself. Everything that’s been rebranded in this town in the last few years has been done by my fair hands,” she adds with a proud smile.

  “Congrats, that’s awesome. You up for helping me out?”

  “Of course! What’s the plan?”

  “Cakes,” I say, gesturing to the pile of icing behind me. “For now, anyway. I’ve always wanted to own a bakery like that one we used to have in town.”

  “I remember,”

  “But that’s just a pipe dream for now.”

  We chat away like fifteen years or more haven’t passed since we spent any real time together. It’s only when there’s a bang from outside that the conversation slows down.

  “Oh, hey, Cara. Were your ears burning? We were only talking about you earlier,” Blake says when he appears with his mug. “Could you let Addy know that I haven’t finished but I need to go and get Sinead from school. She’s got swimming.”

  “Of course.”

  “I’ll try to get back tomorrow but if I can’t, it’ll have to be the weekend.”

  “Okay.”

  “Bye, Cara. Later, baker girl,” he says with a wave and a heart stopping smile that only I receive.

  When he’s disappeared and I’ve managed to get my butterflies under control, I look over to Cara, who has a shit-eating grin on her face.

  “What?”

  “Been back a few days and already trying to snag the most eligible bachelor in Northern Ireland,” she says with a wink.

  “No, don’t be stupid. It’s just Blake.” I try for nonchalant but the narrowed eyes I get in return tell me I didn’t hit the mark.

  “Well, maybe you’ll be the one to break him. Christ, all of us have tried, but other than a few dates, the guy’s lived like a monk since Kayleigh died.”

  “Oh?” falls from my mouth and it makes me sound way more interested in the situation than I should.

  “He’s hot though, right?” Another wink.

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  I continue to try to play it cool and evade Cara’s questions for another half an hour before she heads off after agreeing to meet for coffee in a few days.

  Without all the distractions, I manage to almost have the cake finished by the time Aunt Addy gets back.

  “Oh wow, that’s incredible, Addison,” she sings when she sees it.

  “Thank you.”

  “How have you done it so fast?”

  “I have no idea,” I answer honestly, because what with Blake flaunting himself around and then Cara’s visit, I haven’t exactly had much time.

  “Angie loved your cake. And here,” she says, handing me a couple of bits of paper. “I have some more orders for you.”

  “No shit,” I squeal, taking them from her. “Who for?”

  “Angie’s sister wants one for her grandson based on some kids’ TV show I’ve never heard of, and a friend of Angie’s daughter—her dad’s fifty soon and she wants a golfing cake.”

  Aunt Addy walks off to hang her coat up and put her stuff away in her workshop, leaving me to freak out. Could this actually work? Could I make money doing something I love?

  “See, I told you it would all be fine, didn’t I?” she says with a smile when she comes back to the kitchen and finds me grinning like a Cheshire cat.

  “You did.”

  After dishing up dinner, I sit and listen to Aunt Addy tell me about the costumes she’s been making for the local theatre group for their performance of Macbeth. She tells me she was given two tickets to their opening night in a few weeks’ time and invites to me to with her.

  “Oh, I forgot to ask. What was that all about on the phone last night?” Her question reminds me of the less exciting part of my life.

  “Ugh, some problem with the place I wanted to rent. I’m pretty sure it’s a mistake on their end, but I’m taking it as a sign it wasn’t meant to be. Blake made me see that maybe I was rushing into things.”

  “I told you: stay here as long as you want. I can have a shuffle around in my workshop and we can get you another bed.”

  “No, no no, that’s what I don’t want, you changing your life for me. As soon as everything’s sorted with the divorce and I have some decent money, I’ll find the right place. I’ve got the best solicitors working on it so it should be pretty quick. Edward hasn’t really got a leg to stand on as I caught him red-handed.”

  “Just don’t rush anything because of me, okay? I like having someone else in the house again.”

  Her words bring up an image of a smiling Kayleigh as a child with bright blonde hair and ice blue eyes. “How are things now? You seem to be coping okay.”

  “Some days are harder than others,” she admits. “I miss her every second but I try to focus on all the joy she brought to my life while she was here. It’s no use dwelling on the sad stuff. And, she gave me Sinead. That girl is so precious and does her mum proud every day.”

  “She seems like a good kid.”

  “She is. I just wish she’d had longer to get to know how incredible Kayleigh was.”

  Kayleigh’s death was a shock to everyone three years ago. I was in London so only heard what happened from Aunt Addy, but it seemed that she was fine one minute and then gone the next. They found out after she died that she had some rare condition that when mixed with the contraceptive pill that she’d recently changed to she developed a blood clot, which caused a pulmonary embolism. Both Aunt Addy and Sinead have been tested to see if they carry the gene but thankfully both of them are fine. Unfortunately though, that means it’s on Kayleigh’s dad’s side and Aunt Addy hasn’t seen sight nor sound of any of them for years. She tried hunting them down to let them know but without much luck.


  I can only imagine what it must have been like for them all, but I know Kayleigh would be so happy to see them now getting on with their lives and smiling as much as they can.

  “Enough of that,” Aunt Addy chastises when she sees the morose look on my face. “Have you heard from that mother of yours lately?”

  “Ugh, not for a while. You?”

  “I had a postcard from…Atlanta I think, a while ago, but nothing other than that. It said that she was happy and enjoying life.”

  “Yeah, I bet, she’s spending all toy boy Tim’s money,” I say with a laugh.

  When my stepdad died from a stroke, Mum played the grieving widow card for all of about a month before she found Tim. I’ve only seen the odd photo of him but I wouldn’t be surprise to hear we share the same birth year. His model worthy looks and hefty bank balance are more important to my mother. They’ve been swanning around America for the past six months. Every now and then I’ll get a selfie of them on a beach somewhere with some elaborate cocktail between them, but that’s about as far as contact between us goes. She doesn’t know my marriage has gone down the pan or that I’m even in Ireland—not that she’d care. She never made a secret of the fact she hated this place, and once she left she made it very clear she had no intention of returning.

  “Toy boy Tim,” Aunt Addy repeats with a laugh. “That’s perfect!”

  “I can’t believe it’s lasted this long. I thought he would have been bored of her by now.”

  “Maybe there’s more to him than his looks and money,” Aunt Addy muses, but when she catches my eye we both start laughing. “Or not.” They were friends for years; she’s well aware of what my mum’s like.

  Chapter Five

  The next week flies by. I spend every minute baking and taking on more cake orders. It seems that as soon as one gets delivered, another two orders come in. It’s crazy and way more than I ever thought.

  Today’s cake is a big number one for a baby’s first birthday. It’s almost done—I’ve just got to pipe around the edges and add the icing animals on top. It’s being collected in just over an hour for tomorrow’s party.

  “Oh, that’s perfect,” Aileen exclaims when I show her the cake. “Thank you so much.”

  She pays me for it before I follow behind her with the cake as she wrestles with her almost-one year old. I’m just waving her off when Aunt Addy pulls on to the drive. I can see from here she’s not looking too good.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask when she opens the door.

  “Vertigo,” is all she mumbles as she plods towards the front door.

  “Get to bed,” I instruct, following her.

  “Can’t; babysitting Sinead tonight. I’ll just have a rest on the sofa. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

  “I can do it.”

  “No, you’re busy.” I look around the kitchen as she says this and see the bombsite I’ve created. I’ve still got more to do.

  “It’s fine. I don’t mind.”

  “Let me have a lie down and we’ll see.”

  When Aunt Addy reappears an hour later, she looks horrendous and is clinging onto the worktop like she’s about to go down any second.

  “Go back to bed. I’ll look after Sinead.”

  “Really?” Aunt Addy asks, sounding very grateful.

  “Of course.”

  She walks back to bed after giving me Blake and Sinead’s address, and once I’ve packed up a load of baking supplies, I load them all into Aunt Addy’s car and head off.

  I haven’t seen much of Blake this week. He came over during the weekend while Sinead was with his parents to finish the fence, but Aunt Addy was in so it put pay to any gawking out of the window. She may have given me the green light where Blake is concerned, but I’m still not convinced anything but looking is a good idea.

  When I pull up to their house, I’m surprised to see the driveway’s empty. I’d psyched myself up to see Blake and I kind of hate that I’m now disappointed he’s not here. It appears his maintenance business is thriving as he rings Aunt Addy to help look after Sinead a couple of times a week.

  I jump out the car and ring the doorbell, questioning if I’m at the right house.

  After a couple of seconds, I hear footsteps heading my way before the door opens and Sinead’s head pops out.

  “Addison, where’s Nan?”

  “She’s ill so I offered to come over.”

  “Oh,” she replies, sounding disappointed.

  “I really need your help though.” That gets her attention. “I’ve got to deliver forty-eight cupcakes to a wedding tomorrow and I’m running out of time.”

  That has the desired effect because in seconds, Sinead has a pair of shoes on and is helping me get my stuff from the boot of the car.

  I’m impressed by Blake’s house as I follow Sinead through to the kitchen. It’s modern and homely. I’m not sure what I was expecting but it wasn’t this. I glance into the living room and see a giant comfortable looking sofa with loads of cushions on that looks perfect for reading or napping.

  “Come on,” Sinead calls when she sees I’ve stopped.

  “You’ve got a lovely home.”

  “Thank you. Dad did all the work and I picked all the colours and furniture,” she states proudly.

  “Really?”

  “Yep, I spent ages looking through all the catalogues picking everything. It was great fun.”

  “You’ve done a great job.” She beams at my praise and it makes my heart swell. “Come on then, have you got an apron? We’ve got some baking to do.”

  Five hours and sixty cupcakes later, Sinead and I flop back on to the sofa. I’d discovered Blake had already left to sort out whatever job he’d been called out on. Sinead said he doesn’t mind her being home alone now she’s twelve, but not all night, which is why either Aunt Addy or Blake’s mum comes over on the evenings he works.

  I look over to Sinead and can’t help laughing. She looks exhausted and she’s covered in icing sugar.

  “What time are you meant to do to bed, by the way?” I ask, thinking I should probably try being a little bit responsible.

  “I don’t really have a bed time at the weekends.”

  “Okay, well, I think it’s probably best you get yourself up in the shower.”

  “Yeah, me too,” she says as she wipes a bit of butter icing from her chin and licks her finger. “I’m pretty sure I’ve eaten too much sugar to be able to sleep tonight.”

  “Maybe we can find a film to watch or something. What time does your...dad usually get home?” I stutter because it feels so weird calling Blake a dad. I know he’s the same age as me, but I feel far from ready to be a parent, so the fact he is—to an almost teenager—is a little weird for me.

  “Late. He’ll have gone to the pub with Nate and Jason.”

  “Oh, I thought he was working.”

  “Yeah, but sometimes he goes to the pub afterwards.”

  “Okay.” I guess I can’t argue with that, seeing as he’s a single dad who works a lot. “Go and have a shower, you,” I say, tapping her knee. “I’ll finish the kitchen and have a hot chocolate waiting for you when you get down.” That thought perks her up a bit. I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t be giving her any more sugar, but what the hell?

  “Here you go,” I say as I place the two mugs of steaming chocolate, cream and mini marshmallows on the coffee table. “I didn’t think I’d find all this.”

  “Dad makes them for us when it’s cold.” Of course he does. I can see him sitting here drinking this to make her happy. I bet he’s a great dad.

  I sit myself down on the sofa next to Sinead and pull the blanket over my legs when she offers it to me.

  We sit in a comfortable silence, sipping our chocolate and flicking through the channels. I stop when I see a movie I haven’t seen in years.

  “Have you seen it?” I ask Sinead, nodding towards the TV.

  “Miss Congeniality? No.”

  “It was one of my favourites when I was your ag
e. And the main guy’s hot,” I explain, but one look at Sinead’s face tells me she’s not impressed, maybe she’s going through that boys are gross phase.

  “Addison…?”

  “Yes, sweetheart.”

  “Are you going to be Dad’s girlfriend?” I splutter but just about manage to keep the hot chocolate in my mouth.

  “Um…uh… what makes you say that?”

  “It’s just how he is when you’re around. He smiles like he used to. Like I remember from when Mum was here.”

  My heart’s pounding as I take on board what she’s saying.

  “No sweetheart, we’re just friends.”

  “Okay. Well if you’re ever not just friends, I think that might be okay too.”

  “Good to know. Thanks, sweetheart.”

  I have mixed feelings about Sinead’s approval of whatever relationship Blake and I have. On one hand, it’s nice to know she’s aware her dad might not want to be alone, but also makes me start to picture what it might be like being with him, and that’s dangerous ground to be on. I just about contain the smile that wants to spread across my face, but instead, I focus on the film and try to put images of Blake out of my mind.

  Sinead ends up going to bed before the film finishes because she can barely keep her eyes open. I was having a similar problem, so went and made myself a strong cup of coffee, knowing I was going to have to drive home once Blake appeared.

  A bang brings me to, but not enough to open my eyes. I’m just drifting back off again when I feel movement next to me. My eyes fly open and I put my arms up in defence. When I look to see who it is, my gaze lands on a shining dark blue pair.

  I lower my arms and sit there while his eyes run all over my face and down to the blanket I’m covered by.

  “Wha’re you doin’ ‘ere?” he slurs.

  “Aunt Addy was ill so I’ve been looking after Sinead. She’s in bed.”

  “I’d hope so.”

  “I should go,” I say, trying to pull the blanket off, but Blake cages me in with hands both sides of my waist.

  “You’re beautiful, Addison.”