Ruined Plans

by Tracy Lorraine

  “And you’re drunk. Let me up, please.”

  “I’m not that drunk. I know what I’m seeing,” he says, bringing one giant hand up to hold my cheek. “And I know I want you.”

  The gentle hum he ignited in my body when he first appeared jumps up a notch and a steady throb starts between my thighs.

  “Blake,” I say, but I have no idea where I’m going with it.

  “I’m serious. I’ve never wanted anyone like I want you.”

  “Okaaay.” I manage to scramble out from under the blanket and off the sofa, only to have my wrist grabbed by his giant hand. A giant hand that feels so good against my skin.

  Our eyes connect once again and hold. His telling me exactly what he wants to do without words, and mine pleading: although I want what he’s offering, I know it’s not a good idea. He’s too close to Aunt Addy. I’ve just formed some kind of bond with his daughter. I can’t do that to her when it doesn’t work out. Maybe if tonight hadn’t happened I could have. But it has, and I can’t.

  “This is a bad idea, Blake,” I say, tugging my wrist away.

  “It would be so good though.”

  Suddenly, he’s on his feet and backing me up to the wall. I go to dart to the hallway, but he once again cages me in.

  He leans forward and runs his nose down the length of my neck, breathing me in. All the air in my lungs comes rushing out as I hold on to my last threads of sanity.

  “Blake, we can’t.”

  “You need to leave right now then.”

  “What?”

  “Leave. Now.”

  I don’t question him this time. I duck under his arm, and grab my boots and handbag from the hallway before running from the house.

  The car unlocks as I get closer and I thank God for Aunt Addy having a new one with keyless entry. I jump in and throw my bag and boots on the passenger seat. Placing my hands on the wheel I rest my head back while trying to get my breathing under control.

  I’ve no idea how long I sit there, but eventually the cold starts to get to me so I press the button down to start the car while somewhat awkwardly pulling my boots on so I can drive.

  I just go to look in the mirror to back off the drive when I see movement in the window. He’s stood there staring at me. Has he been there the whole time?

  I look at his darkened figure for a few seconds. An apology for leaving or not staying, I’m not sure. I have no idea what I want. All I know is what’s for the best, so I pull my eyes from his and back off his drive.

  Blake: Did you get home okay?

  Me: Yes, thank you.

  Blake: Sleep tight, baker girl. Sweet dreams xxx

  I stare at that last message for the longest time. Firstly, because it reminds me that I just left boxes of cakes a client is expecting tomorrow in his kitchen, and secondly, those three kisses. I lift my fingers to my lips trying to imagine what his lips might feel like against them. Would they be as soft as they look?

  Blake and Sinead turn up first thing the next morning with my cupcakes. Sinead is practically buzzing as she shows Aunt Addy and tells her all about how we made them. I think she’s still running on last night’s sugar.

  Blake, on the other hand, hardly says anything. He stands in the corner of the kitchen and silently watches as Sinead chats away before she turns to see what I’m working on. My next bake is a chocolate fudge cake decorated with hearts and flowers for a teenage girl’s birthday tomorrow. I’ll make the cake in the morning; I’m spending today making all the decorations in dark, milk and white chocolate.

  “Are you okay, Blake?” Aunt Addy ask when she notices his mood.

  “Yeah.”

  “He’s hungover,” Sinead helpfully adds, much to Blake annoyance.

  “I’m fine,” he snaps.

  I keep looking over to him but he avoids my eyes. I try not to think too much of it but it’s so unlike any other time we’ve been in the same room that it’s clear the issue is me.

  “Excuse me,” I say, putting my flower down and leaving the room.

  Blake being off shouldn’t affect me. I’m the one who keeps saying it can’t happen. I was the one who insisted on walking away last night for reasons that I still stand by, but his coldness hits me deep.

  “Did something happen with you two last night? I heard you come in. It was late.”

  “What? No!” I say, making myself look guilty. “Blake was just late, and drunk. He probably does have a hangover.”

  “I think it was more than that.”

  Thankfully, I don’t have time to sit and dissect the Blake situation with Aunt Addy because I have forty-eight cupcakes to deliver to the local community centre for a wedding. I notice the spare ones Sinead and I made haven’t been brought back, so I can only imagine how many she’s eaten this morning.

  I intend to go alone to give me some thinking time about this whole Blake situation, but Aunt Addy insists on tagging along because she wants to take me to lunch to say thank you for babysitting for her last night. I tell her it’s not necessary but she won’t have it.

  I want to say that it’s not because of me and what did—well, didn’t—happen at Blake’s last Friday night, but he’s kept away from Aunt Addy’s ever since the morning he dropped the cakes off. I know he’s been busy because Aunt Addy has been looking after Sinead more than usual, but that doesn’t stop me worrying that it’s because of me.

  I’m also annoyed because I’ve heard diddly squat from the solicitor who’s meant to be sorting my divorce out. Every time I ring, I swear her assistant just fobs me off with some crap about having issues pulling everything together. I hired her because I was confident she’d be able to get it sorted quickly, and fairly pain-free, but it doesn’t seem to be turning out that way.

  “Happy thirtieth birthday, sweetheart,” Aunt Addy sings when she comes into the living room and pulls the curtains back. I groan and roll back over. I was up late icing last night; I’m not ready to get up yet. “What, did you think I’d forget?”

  I knew she wouldn’t. She’s the only person I have religiously received a birthday card from all my life, so now I’m here, I knew she’d be on top of it.

  “Here,” she says, passing me a card and present.

  I pull the card open to see a glittery cake looking back at me and smile. The present is a dainty silver bracelet that has a shamrock hanging from the chain with a small emerald in the centre. It’s simple and perfect: just the reminder I need of what I’m doing here. I immediately remove it from its packaging and place it over my wrist. Aunt Addy sees what I’m doing and comes to sit down next to me to help.

  “It’s good to see you smile again. I’ve been worried about you the last few days.”

  “I’m fine. Thank you for this—I love it.”

  “It’s not much but it had your name written all over it.”

  “It’s perfect.”

  “Now get up and dressed. We’re going out for lunch at the hotel on the cliff and then Blake and Sinead are coming to Belfast with us tonight for dinner. I’ve booked this new restaurant that’s been getting amazing reviews. It’s one of those TV chef’s ones, you know.”

  I do know. It’s been all over the local papers and internet. “Thank you. It will be amazing.” I hope so, anyway. With Blake keeping his distance, I really have no idea how it might go.

  Lunch is gorgeous. We’re greeted with glasses of Champagne, followed by afternoon tea. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten so much in two hours, and by the time we leave I’m feeling seriously bloated. Thankfully, the weather’s lovely, so Aunt Addy suggests a walk, which I am more than happy with. I don’t even want to think about the number of carbs I just packed away.

  “Addison, you’ve got a visitor,” Aunt Addy shouts through to the bathroom.

  “Shit,” I mutter as I look down at myself dressed in only my underwear as I stand doing my hair and make up for tonight. I wait thirty seconds while my last strand of hair curls before pulling my dressing gown on and going to see who it
is.

  I barely know anyone here, so there aren’t many people it could be. I’m not surprised when I walk into the living room to see Cara sat on the sofa waiting for me.

  “Here’s the birthday girl,” Aunt Addy sings when she spots me.

  “Happy birthday,” Cara says, getting up to pull me into a hug.

  “Thanks, you shouldn’t have,” I say when she hands me a bunch of flowers and a gift bag.

  “It’s nothing.”

  I sit down next to her and begin opening it while Aunt Addy goes to put the kettle on. I place the card and box of smellies down on the coffee table as I thank Cara for them.

  “There’s something else,” she says, nodding towards the bag.

  I grab it and pull out an envelope I didn’t see before, looking at her questioningly, but she just smiles before saying, “I just did it quick so I understand if it’s not right.”

  More confused than ever, I rip open the envelope and slide out the single piece of paper inside.

  “Oh my God,” I gasp. “It’s gorgeous, and perfect!”

  “Really? I didn’t have much to go on but I had this idea while we were talking and I had to do it.”

  “It’s really perfect.”

  I look down at the paper in my hands and smile. Staring back at me is the most perfect logo. There’s an outline of a shamrock but it looks like flour, and then the company name on top in a script font that has the texture of hessian, I guess.

  Baker Girl.

  It’s utterly perfect.

  I feel myself tearing up as I stare at it. This is something I’ve dreamed about for as long as I can remember. I used to watch that old couple in the bakery when I was a child and imagine it was me back there baking cakes and pastries. Once we moved and I was forced down a certain path, I thought it was unreachable. I’m almost grateful for Edward and everything between us because it led me back here to discover my dream.

  “What’s that?” Aunt Addy says when she comes back in the room with a tray of tea. “Oh, that’s gorgeous.”

  “You really like it? I don’t mind changing it.”

  “Don’t you dare change any of it! I seriously love it.”

  “We need to get you a website set up, plus social media, if you haven’t already. Then, stickers to go on all your boxes, business cards, flyers…all that kind of stuff to get the word out.”

  I’m totally lost for words, so instead of replying, I lean over and pull Cara into a hug. This is beyond anything I could’ve ever imagined.

  Cara only stays for about thirty minutes because we need to finish getting ready to go out. Aunt Addy tries to convince her to come with us, that she can ring and increase the table number, but Cara already has plans. A date with a guy she met in the supermarket, apparently.

  “Adds, are you ready? Blake and Sinead are here,” Aunt Addy calls through to the bathroom again, where I’m finishing off getting ready. I’ve pulled my long curls around over one shoulder and put a slide behind my ear to keep them in place before sliding into my little black dress. It’s the only fancy thing I brought with me because I love it. It’s a simple black dress that fits me like a second skin. It has thick straps before dropping to a cowl neck that shows off a hint of cleavage. It’s the back I really love, though. The zip that runs from the base of my neck to the backs of my knees is really unexpected for such a demure dress. It makes it modern and edgy, different to all those other preened women I used to have to spend time with.

  Slipping my classic black Louboutins onto my feet I give myself one last look in the mirror. Pleased with what I see, I pull the door open and step out. They hear me coming as I walk towards them in the living room. The second I step into the doorway, all eyes are on me, although the only ones I really see are a dark blue pair as they widen before dropping to take me in.

  “Wow,” Blake says, although I’m not sure he’s aware of saying it as he takes his fill.

  Aunt Addy and Sinead both smile at him before bringing their eyes back to me.

  “You look gorgeous, sweetheart.”

  “Thanks. I love your outfit, Sinead,” I say, complimenting her black and white polka dot style prom dress.

  “Thank you,” she beams.

  “Great accessories too,” I add, noting her matching red pumps and bag. I’m pretty sure her smile couldn’t be any wider.

  “Are we ready to go then?” Aunt Addy asks, but Blake is still away with the fairies.

  “I just need to put my jewellery on.” I walk over to my stuff behind the sofa and locate my necklace and earrings. I stand in front of the mirror and pop the simple diamond studs into my ears before going to put the chain around my neck.

  “Let me,” I hear from behind me. I look up and my eyes lock onto his.

  When he holds his hand out I pass him my necklace and pull my hair up out of the way. He laces his hands through the gap I’ve left before gently placing the single solitaire diamond against my chest. When he moves back to do it up, his fingers brush the skin of my neck and goosebumps race across my skin. Our eyes connect again in the mirror, his darkening the longer we’re stood there.

  “Do you need me to do it, Dad?” Sinead offers when she realises it’s taking too long.

  Blake clears his throat and breaks his gaze from mine before saying he’s got it.

  Although we’re going in Aunt Addy’s car so she can drive back, Blake insists on driving to Belfast and I get pushed into the front seat so Sinead can chat to her nan about school on the journey.

  In contrast to the endless chatter in the back of the car, the front remains relatively silent. I feel his eyes flick over to me every few minutes, but I fight to keep my eyes ahead and not engage with him. My body’s humming just being this close to him but I can’t forget that his daughter is sat mere feet away.

  When Sinead starts getting even more excited about whatever it is she’s telling Aunt Addy, Blake decides to talk.

  “You look beautiful,” he says quietly.

  “Thank you,” I whisper back, blushing profusely. I look to my left, attempting to hide my reaction.

  “I’m sorry about what happened before. I was drunk and then hungover, and ashamed of my behaviour,” he says.

  “It’s fine. I knew it was the drink talking.”

  “It might have been the drink making me so forward, but it was all true.”

  My words get stuck in my throat and I thank the heavens when Sinead asks Blake a question and puts an end to our inappropriate conversation.

  Chapter Six

  “That was incredible,” I say, licking the fork clean of the salted caramel cheesecake I just devoured. I look up to find Blake’s spoon halfway to his mouth and his eyes locked on my lips.

  “Never would have guessed from the noises you were making,” Aunt Addy says, making Sinead laugh around her mouthful of ice cream.

  As expected, the meal was out of this world. All of us polished off every scrap of food, along with a bottle of Chardonnay for the adults.

  “Can we have the bill, please?” Aunt Addy asks when the waiter comes to clear our plates.

  “You’re not paying for all this,” I say as I imagine how much it’s going to cost.

  “It’s your birthday present.”

  “You already bought me presents and paid for lunch. This is too much.”

  “I’m making up for all the ones I missed,” she explains, making me feel guilty for staying away so much after we moved.

  After an argument Blake gets involved with by saying he’ll pay, they eventually settle on a happy medium and pay half each after refusing to let me contribute.

  The waiter assists Aunt Addy into her coat while Blake helps me. I want to say that the hand he runs up my arm’s an accident, but I’m pretty sure it isn’t.

  “Right, Sinead and I are going home. You two are going to enjoy your night,” Aunt Addy announces as she opens the passenger door for Sinead to jump in.

  “But—” I go to argue.

  “No buts, Add
ison Kennedy. You two go and do whatever it is you young’uns do these days and enjoy yourselves. You both deserve it.”

  “Let’s go then,” Blake says, grabbing my forearm and making me step away from the car. “There’s a wine bar just down here.”

  We say goodbye and once Aunt Addy’s pulled away from the kerb, Blake slides his hand into mine and tugs. I fall into step beside him, trying to ignore the electric sparks shooting up my arm.

  “Wow, this place is flash,” I say as I get ushered on to a high bar stool at a table for two. I look around at the black and cream decoration and can’t help thinking that this isn’t the sort of place I would have put Blake in. I had him down for a more local pub kind of man.

  “I know how to treat a lady,” he says in my ear, sounding affronted before pouring us both a glass of wine from the bottle he just bought. His breath skates across my skin, making me shiver. I look over at him. His hair’s pulled back into a bun; it’s the first time I’ve seen him without it hanging around his face. If you’d have asked me what I thought about man buns a few weeks ago, I would have told you they were the worst thing ever invented, but sitting here looking at how chiselled it makes his cheek bones, and how it makes his lips look even fuller, I can’t help thinking they’re pretty awesome. Okay, so maybe it’s just Blake with a man bun that I like so much. He’s wearing a fitted white long sleeved shirt. I’ve no idea how the buttons are staying on, because they’re straining across his wide chest. That shirt is then tucked into a pair of black trousers that hug his arse in the most insane way. It’s come to my attention that I’m not the only one who’s noticed, either. When he excused himself to the bathroom in the restaurant earlier, there were at least five sets of female eyes on his behind.

  “I didn’t doubt it. I’m just surprised by this place, that’s all.”

  “Addy said to enjoy ourselves so I’m at your service to make sure you have the best birthday night ever.”

  I swallow and try to banish any inappropriate thoughts his words muster up in my head. I don’t think that was the kind of thing Aunt Addy meant when she told us to enjoy ourselves.