Crave the Darkness: A Shaede Assassin Novel

by amanda bonilla

  “This is standard when a death occurs?” Shaedes didn’t die often, but Jesus Christ, it was easy for someone as wealthy as Xander to procure a site for a funeral pyre, but how in the hell would an average Shaede family take care of a funeral? Burn the body in their backyard?

  “Not always,” Raif said. “But I told you, this is an old tradition, and Dimitri was held in high esteem. It is an honor to send his soul to the shadows in this way.”

  More vehicles arrived to join Xander’s own extensive motorcade, and the mourners milled about the clearing, taking their places at the edge of the circle by the burning torches. Dimitri’s body had already been placed on the top of the pyre and had been swathed in more of the same black fabric that Anya’s robes were made from. I coordinated with my team, setting them a few feet from the clearing, out in the trees surrounding the area. I wanted to see, but not be seen. No need to further distress Anya by reminding her just what had brought about her husband’s death.

  I stood at the opposite side of the circle from Anya and watched as the sacred ceremony began. A priestess of some sort, garbed in the same flowing robes as Anya, stood before the pyre and spoke words in a language probably older than anything spoken in the world today. I couldn’t take my eyes off of Anya and watched as tears slid silently down her face. She looked upon her husband’s body with her chin held high, so proud and beautiful and devastated all at once. Xander stood to one side of her and Raif at the other. At one point, the priestess paused, and Anya spoke through her tears, repeating the words in the same haunting cadence. Then, the funeral attendees took their turn, reciting the same words, their many voices echoing into the dark night.

  One by one, they each took up a torch. Anya, Raif, and two Shaedes—a male and female that I didn’t recognize—joined the priestess at the pyre. Anya stood at her husband’s feet with the priestess while the remaining three surrounded the pyre in a sort of triangle. Anya was the first to set her torch to the straw at the base of the structure, and then Raif and the others. Once they stepped back, the other Shaedes moved in, each touching their torch to the structure to add to the building flames. Once the pyre burned bright, illuminating the entire clearing, they retreated, but only enough to give Raif and the other three Shaedes surrounding the pyre a little room.

  I held my breath as I watched Raif’s eyes drift shut. He bowed his head and exhaled a deep breath. The priestess began chanting again and the other two Shaedes bowed their heads with Raif and exhaled their breath. Glistening tendrils of shadows—known as soul shadows—crept from their mouths like mists of delicate ribbon. The soul shadows searched and twined like graceful serpents, winding and crawling up the pyre as it burned. As the shadows merged with the flames, they darkened from bright orange to red, and then from crimson to black. I gasped in surprise as the black flames flickered, their tips lightening to gray.

  Lightning streaked a path across the sky, followed by a peal of thunder. Moments later, the patter of raindrops echoed in the clearing but did nothing to tame the black flames raging from Dimitri’s pyre. Above the din of the rainfall, the priestess chanted, and the Shaedes left their corporeal forms. They swirled and circled the pyre as it burned, climbing high in the sky with the smoke and ash that rose above the flames.

  “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

  Tyler came up beside me, no doubt appearing out of thin air. He could always find me, no matter where in this world I happened to be. We were bound by magic, blood, and at one time, love. Nothing could compare to the bond made by love. Did any of that love remain? My gaze fell on Anya. She stood by her husband’s funeral pyre, her shoulders shaking as she wept. She alone couldn’t leave her body behind to help elevate Dimitri’s body and soul to the heavens, and my heart broke for her. “It’s very beautiful,” I answered through my own grief. “What are you doing here? I would think you’d be with Adira right now.”

  Tyler tipped his head toward the clearing. “I came to pay my respects. And also to tell you that I don’t want you to go after Kade. He’s become far too dangerous.”

  “Doesn’t matter.” I refused to look at him. “I’m going to kill him.”

  Tyler turned me to face him. “What if I begged you to let this go?”

  “First, you pay me to kill Kade. Now you’re begging me not to?”

  “I can’t protect you, Darian. I thought I could, but this is just too far out of hand now. If something happened to you . . .”

  “Like what happened to Dimitri?” My anger mounted, the sight of Anya standing alone among the swirling shadows as she cried weighing heavy on my conscience. “Maybe I will die taking Kade out. But it’ll be worth it. I owe Anya, anyway. She’d be safe, Adira would be safe. It’s a win-win.”

  “I can’t let you risk your life, Darian. I won’t let you.”

  I looked away, focusing my attention once again on Dimitri’s death rites. The fire burned hot and fast, unnaturally so, and the pyre collapsed, the black flames dying down. But the shadows of the many Shaedes still swirled high in the sky, continuing to lift smoke, ash, and the soul of Anya’s husband to the heavens. “Why are you saying this now, Tyler?” Lord, I wanted off this emotional roller coaster. “Do you know what the past few months have been like for me? I’m barely keeping my head above water. And just when I feel like I can start to think about getting on with my life, you show up here and beg me not to risk it. Why, in the midst of all this sadness, after I just told you that I needed to separate my personal life from this job, are you saying this?”

  “Because I still love you.”

  His words cut straight through me, twisting my heart into a tight, unyielding knot. “You left me for another woman.”

  “Darian.” Tyler took a deep breath and held it for a moment before exhaling in a sigh. “I left because I was hurt. I needed to take a step back as much as I needed to give you space. Our relationship was slowly suffocating, and I couldn’t bear to see us self-destruct. Damn it, I regretted leaving you the moment I walked out the door. I never meant to be gone as long as I was. Adira needed help. She needed me. And you didn’t. As for my relationship with Adira, it’s not what you think. It’s . . . complicated.”

  As the pyre folded in on itself, Anya went to her knees. I took a step forward and Tyler grabbed me by the arm, hauling me back. “I can’t deal with this right now, Tyler.” I tried to jerk away, but he held me tight.

  “Are you in love with him?”

  My shoulders slumped. “This is not the time or the place to talk about us. Go back to Adira, Tyler. Protect her. You said it yourself. She needs you. She needs your protection more than me right now.”

  “Darian—”

  “Go, Tyler. Before I wish you out of here.”

  I stalked out of the trees toward Anya. I refused to turn back to look at Tyler, but I felt a familiar ripple of energy in the air signaling—I hoped—his departure.

  Chapter 30

  “How’s it look, guys?” I said into my mic. “See anything?”

  One member at a time, my team checked in, none of them noticing anything out of the ordinary in the woods surrounding the circle. It figured that Kade would keep to his word in all things. He’d given Anya forty-eight hours, and she was going to get it. I leaned against a tall evergreen, the bark biting into my shoulder. Dimitri’s funeral pyre was nothing more than smoldering ashes now, the magical black flames dying to glowing gray embers sizzling in the rain. The shadow forms of the many Shaedes descended from the sky, swirling in a graceful formation. As they came to earth, corporeal forms were regained, and the mourners took their turns in expressing their condolences to Anya.

  I felt the prickle of tears at my eyes. No amount of “I’m sorry for your loss” could bring Dimitri back. Even well intentioned, those condolences were nothing more than hollow words. “Goddamn you, Kade.”

  “I suppose your Jinn came here tonight to try to make amends?” Xander’s velvet voice was warm in my ear, though his tone held an edge, as if Tyler had kille
d Dimitri himself. He did nothing to hide the outrage and utter contempt in his tone. “His presence here tonight was yet another insult to my kingdom. Insults I’ll no longer tolerate. He’ll rot in a PNT prison for assaulting a high king. I’m bringing the charge before Adare in the morning.”

  “No.” I turned so I could look at him. “Promise me that you’ll let this go, Xander.”

  “I can’t,” he said simply. “He assaulted a king. In public. At a dignitary function. If I let this go, others will perceive it as a weakness in me. I will become vulnerable in my detractors’ eyes, and my strength to rule will come into question.”

  The thought of seeing Tyler thrown into some PNT jail caused my heart to beat much too fast. I’d seen what PNT jailers could do to a prisoner. I couldn’t bear to think of Tyler suffering the same fate, sitting in one of their dingy cells for god-knew-how-long. “Xander.” I tried to keep the tremor of fear from my voice. “I’m still bound to him. He’s compelled to protect me. If the PNT throws him in one of their jails . . . I don’t know everything about our bond. It could be dangerous for me if he was locked away.”

  “You would rather I look weak to my people?” His eyes grew cold like frozen amber, and his voice, hard.

  “No.” Think, Darian. Defuse. Deflect. “What about . . . in-house justice?”

  Xander quirked a brow. “Such as?”

  “I wouldn’t want you to lose face in front of anyone.” Even I knew the importance of maintaining one’s reputation. Sometimes it was all that stood between you and an ass-kicking. “But promise me you won’t bring the PNT into it. Let Raif take him into custody. You can mete out your own punishment.” That I would work like hell to reduce to nothing more than a slap on the wrist. “No one would doubt your power if you let it be known that you don’t run to the PNT for protection. The Shaede Nation can take care of its own problems.”

  A corner of Xander’s mouth quirked in a half smile, and I knew that I’d won a battle, if not the war. “Clever girl. Very well,” he said as if making a benevolent proclamation. “I won’t involve the PNT. But the Jinn will be held accountable for the insult done to me.”

  I let out a shaky sigh of relief. “Thank you, Xander.”

  He looked into my eyes as if trying to coax some hidden truth from my mind. I stared back, careful to betray nothing. Xander leaned in as if to kiss me and I put my palm against his chest to stay his progress. No more games. A gust of icy wind blasted my back, and I pulled away, rubbing the prickling hairs on the back of my neck as I looked around. I thought he’d left, but the odd shimmer, like a ripple in the fabric of reality not far from where I stood, made me wonder just how much of our conversation Tyler might have heard.

  I still love you.

  Ty’s words seared my mind like a brand. I thought about the feelings his touch, his kiss evoked in me. No one would ever make me feel the way Tyler did. Ever. “Go to Anya, Xander. She needs you.”

  Xander’s expression became hard, almost sullen, and he turned to leave without saying a word. I watched as he walked away, thinking that for the second time tonight, I’d sent a man I cared about into another woman’s arms.

  * * *

  “If I have to tell you no again, Ash, I’m going to gut you.”

  “You can’t make me stay here,” Asher snorted, folding his arms in front of his chest. “I could follow you and you wouldn’t even know I was there.”

  “You’re a pain in the ass, you know that? Fine. You tell me how you do that little I’m-here-but-not-here trick of yours, and inform me as to why in the name of all that is holy I should trust you for any reason, and I’ll let you ride shotgun. Otherwise, I could just wish for you to stay put and you won’t be following me anywhere.”

  Silence answered me. Figures. “See ya later.”

  I strode toward the front door and pulled it open only to have Asher reach in front of me and slam it closed. “Does anyone know where you’re going or what you’re about to do?”

  Raif had been busy arranging for extra guards to watch over Xander’s house for the next eighteen hours, and I’d urged Xander to stay with Anya in her apartment after the funeral rites had been concluded. For all I knew, he was asleep on her couch. “I know where I’m going and what I’m doing. That’s enough.”

  The only way this was going to work was if no one close to me knew my plan. And when I’d agreed to watch over Anya to begin with, it had been under the condition that when it came to killing whoever was threatening her, I worked alone. Levi knew what I was up to; he was the one who’d set up the meeting and helped me come up with a plan of attack, and of course his ex, Pamela, was in on it as well. Since I didn’t think Kade would know that Levi had hooked me up with the witch, I was relatively safe.

  Asher stared me dead in the eye. “You’re going to meet with the witch, aren’t you?” It was my turn to clam up but he continued to press. “Darian, you don’t want to mess with human magick. It’s not natural. They try to control forces they don’t know shit about. It’s trouble.”

  “Oh, yeah? You know that firsthand, Ash?” Again, that insufferable silence. He must have been taking lessons from Raif on how to get under my skin. “Stay here. Guard Anya. That’s an order. If I find out that you’ve left the house or gone after me, it’ll be treason. I doubt Raif’s punishment would be light.”

  Asher’s jaw took on a stubborn set. No way would he risk Raif’s anger. “It’s your funeral, Darian.”

  Little shit. I eyed his palm, still lying flat against the door and then slowly dragged my gaze up to his face. He pulled back and gestured in front of him with a sweep of his hand. “Better get going. Wouldn’t want to be late for your appointment.”

  As I stepped through the door, sunlight peered through the fluffy white clouds, remnants of last night’s storm. My skin tingled, and I allowed the light to permeate my skin as I left my physical body behind and joined with the day. The door slammed behind me, and I would have felt smug over getting the upper hand on Asher. But as I left Capitol Hill behind, I couldn’t help the sense of foreboding that settled in my stomach like a heavy stone. I hoped that by going out without him, I wasn’t digging my own grave.

  * * *

  When I arrived at Pamela’s retail-space-turned-place-of-worship, she was already there, set up and ready to go. She was alone, which seemed to intensify my anxiety. I don’t know what I expected, maybe an entire coven of Goth-looking kids with piercings all over their faces and enough black eyeliner to permanently blind them if they blinked wrong. But Pamela was so . . . normal. The only “witchy” thing about her was a pewter pendant of a raven clutching a pentacle in its talon that she wore around her neck.

  She couldn’t have been older than twenty-five, with long honey-blond hair that reached her shoulder blades and almond-shaped, dark brown eyes. Tiny freckles dotted her nose and when she smiled in greeting, her face lit up with a girl-next-door expression. I bet she and Levi looked like the prom king and queen when they’d been together.

  “You must be Darian.” Her voice was the only thing that didn’t fit her cute coed persona. It was deeper than I expected and hinted at wisdom she was too young to possess. “I’m Pamela. Nice to meet you.”

  She held out her hand. I paused, realizing that she expected a friendly greeting, and took her hand in mine. God, I really was a freak. I was so detached that a simple handshake took a moment for me to grasp. Fantastic. Way to display your superior people skills. When our hands met, Pamela sucked in a breath through her teeth. “Wow, you have a super strong aura. Even for a Shaede. I’m tingling clear up my arm!”

  I let go of her hand and rubbed my palm down my pant leg as if I could banish whatever tingle of power Pamela had felt. “Not to be rude or anything, Pamela, but I’m sort of rushed for time.” It was already almost two in the afternoon, which gave me about ten hours before Kade went looking for Anya—and his demon bible. “How long do you think this will take?”

  Pamela’s mouth puckered as she seemed to be
concentrating on something. “Depends,” she finally said. “Magick isn’t something that can be defined in hours. The effectiveness of a spell depends on the power of the caster, and your receptiveness to the magick.”

  I couldn’t answer to my own receptiveness. Since I’d never dealt with human magick, I had no idea what to expect. But I had an open mind. Shit, I’d been to realms that didn’t exist on this plane. What was a little witchcraft? “Well then, I guess we’d better get started. I’ll try to be as receptive as possible. The rest is on you.”

  “No worries,” Pamela said with a smirk. “I’m a powerful caster. The best in my coven.” She said it as if she’d just won Miss Congeniality at a beauty pageant, which didn’t bother me at all. Pride in your ability is a good thing, especially when you’re trying to win over a client. And that’s what I was: a paying customer.

  “Levi said you usually work out your fee after a job is done?”

  “Yeah, I never know how much it’s going to take out of me until after the spell is cast. I’ll just bill you, if that’s okay?”

  I wondered if she had personalized invoices printed out on pretty pink stationery. Something with a cute slogan like, WITCH FOR HIRE! HAVE BROOM, WILL TRAVEL.

  “Levi told you it’s not really about the money, though, right? I mean, I’ve got to make a living and all, but it’s about so much more than that.”

  Levi had, in fact, mentioned it. At this point, I didn’t give a shit about the nonmonetary costs. Whatever it was would be worth it if it meant I’d get to kill Kade. “I don’t care about what this will cost me. I’m ready for whatever risk is involved.”

  Pamela led me to the center of the room where a low, rectangular table had been draped with a black cloth. Resting in what looked to be a very specific order were various items: a dagger, which looked more ceremonial than functional; a chalice; a shiny, black-surfaced mirror with a pentagram etched onto its surface; a strange-looking wand; candles of varying colors; and bottles filled with liquids and herbs. Huh. Guess I could add tonight’s experience to my supernatural lexicon. File this one under: human esoteric rituals.