Crave the Darkness: A Shaede Assassin Novel

by amanda bonilla

  “Okay, before I cast and close the circle, I need you to tell me everything. If this spell is going to work, I’m going to need as many details as possible.”

  Pamela knelt beside the table and I followed suit, pulling out the picture Anya had given me and some notes that I had scribbled down with all of the pertinent information I’d need. She listened intently as I talked, absorbing every ounce of information like a sponge. She studied the pictures, sketches, and descriptions I’d written out and placed the visual aids on her altar while reading and rereading the notes I’d taken.

  “Okay,” Pamela said with a steadying sigh. “I think we’re ready. You just stay put.”

  Pamela fetched a worn leather drawstring bag and the dagger from her altar. I studied the blade, curious, because it didn’t look like it had ever been sharpened. Huh. She grabbed a handful of what appeared to be salt from the bag and used it to make a circle around us on the concrete floor. Once that was done, she fetched one of the colored candles from her altar, lit it, and placed it at the edge of the circle. She then held the dagger in both hands, raising it to the sky. Facing due east, she began some sort of ritual, calling on the element of water and the forces associated with it to bless her sacred circle and the workings within it. From there, she worked clockwise facing south, placed another lit candle at the circle’s edge and recited similar words, entreating the spirits and elements of fire.

  She continued on with another candle, this one facing west, calling on the spirits and element of earth, and closed her circle facing north, placing the last candle on the circle, calling on the air and its spirits, watchers, and whatnot. I’d never witnessed any sort of witchcraft in action before, and I have to admit the entire process was fascinating.

  “Hecate,” Pamela intoned as she crossed back to the altar. Instead of kneeling beside me, she went to the opposite side of the table and dropped to her knees. She lowered the dagger so that the handle hovered near her heart and the pointed tip almost pricked her chin. “Goddess of the dark moon and magick, I invoke your wisdom and your power to aid me in these magickal workings.” She cracked an egg over the chalice and, from a small container, poured what looked like honey on top of it. If I hadn’t known any better, I would have thought she was baking something based on the sprinkle of herbs and drops of liquid from an unlabeled bottle.

  It went on like this for a few more minutes, Pamela chanting some words or asking assistance from some unseen force. At one point, she lit a small pile of herbs on fire to use the ash for her strange concoction. When that was done, she took the dagger and pricked her finger with the tip—surprising, considering the thing looked more ceremonial than functional—and added a few drops of her blood to the chalice. She leveled her gaze to mine, her countenance serious, and held out her hand. I hesitated when I realized that what she wanted was a drop of my own blood to add to hers. My blood wasn’t exactly magical or anything, but blood was a very powerful element in Fae magic. It was ancient magic, older than the human race, and I wondered if Pamela truly realized the impact of what she was doing. And for that matter—did I?

  I swallowed against the lump rising in my throat, pushing down my fears and worries. Big picture. Protect Anya. Save Adira. Kill Kade. That’s all that mattered. I held out my hand and pulled back just before Pamela could poke my finger with the dagger. “I heal fast. You’re not going to get anything with a pinprick.”

  Pamela rolled her bottom lip between her teeth and finally said, “The athame isn’t meant for cutting. I need your blood to complete the spell.”

  Lucky for Pamela, my dagger was used for more than just show. I pulled it from the sheath at my thigh and dragged the blade across my left palm. A bright red ribbon of blood welled from the cut before it began to heal. I tipped my hand over the rim of the chalice and several drops spilled into the cup. I swallowed hard as the air pressure changed, almost as if something had sucked half of the oxygen out of Pamela’s circle. I found it hard to draw a deep breath, and my body felt like someone had just encased it in shrink-wrap.

  Pamela took the picture I’d given her, as well as all of my notes on Kade’s dead girlfriend. She set them in a cast-iron bowl that looked so much like a cauldron I almost laughed. Almost. I watched as Pamela plunged her dagger—athame—into the chalice and stirred the concoction she’d made. Then she held the point over the cauldron, and a single drop landed on the picture and notes and spontaneously burst into flames. She intoned a single word in a voice that no longer sounded like her own. “Evelena.”

  Power slammed into me, the feeling of my skin shrinking over me intensifying to the point that I cried out in pain. I fell backward, unable to take a deep enough breath to satisfy my aching lungs. Darkness invaded the periphery of my vision, and my mind dulled as unconsciousness threatened. Pamela jumped to her feet, rubbing her hands over her arms as though chilled. And how she could feel cold was beyond me. Holy fuck! Heat devoured me, searing through my body as if I’d been injected with liquid fire. I screamed, unable to remain silent as I burned from the inside out. Something was wrong. It had to be. Oh. God. “Pamela!” I shrieked through gritted teeth. I was losing my grip on consciousness; could feel it slipping away by small degrees. I couldn’t stop the pain, the darkness that descended on me. I was going to black out. “Make it stop!”

  “I can’t,” she said as she knelt beside me. “It’s too late.”

  Chapter 31

  My thoughts cleared as the pain began to ebb. What had been the equivalent of acid racing through my veins was nothing more than a warm pulse. I still couldn’t take a deep breath, though, and thought I might hyperventilate and pass out again. “Why do I feel like someone just stuffed me in a vacuum seal bag?” Without thinking, my hands flew to my throat. Holy shit. Was that actually my voice? “Why the hell do I not sound like me?” Panic laced my tone as I pushed myself to a sitting position. Pamela’s face swam in and out of focus and I cradled my head in my hands. Except they were not my hands.

  “Are you okay?” Pamela asked, clearly unfazed by my freak-out and subsequent blackout. “There’s something seriously off about you, Darian.”

  “What are you talking about?” Don’t panic. Don’t fucking panic. Shit! I stretched my arms trying to banish the sensation of being encased in Saran Wrap. “Did something go wrong?”

  “No,” Pamela said with awe. “It worked too well. I’ve got power, but not enough for such a convincing spell. It’s like you have some sort of magical boost or something. The illusion is amazing.”

  Great. No matter how amazed Pamela sounded, this couldn’t be good. Maybe I should have listened to Asher. Too late now. I had no choice but to finish what I’d started. “How long was I out? What time is it?”

  “Almost five o’clock. You were out for a little over an hour.”

  “Shit!” I had only seven hours to find Kade and trick him into breaking his bond with Adira. Otherwise, he’d be going after Anya and there wouldn’t be anything any of us could do to protect her. “I’ve got to get out of here.” I jumped to my feet, instantly regretting the sudden movement. I toppled over, sprawling out on the floor. Jesus, it was like I’d never walked before. Not a great way to start the evening.

  “You can’t leave the circle until I close it,” Pamela said. “And before you leave, there are a few things you need to know.”

  Awesome. This just got better and better. “Such as?”

  “This spell isn’t going to be easy to break. Like I said, it’s stronger than I expected. The only way to shed the glamour is to have someone recognize you.”

  What the hell was that supposed to mean? “Recognize me how?”

  “Someone has to be able to see past the glamour and recognize you for who you truly are. Not the person you appear to be.”

  Okay. Couldn’t be too tough to pull off. Sometimes I felt like Raif knew me better than I knew myself. Once Kade was dead, I’d just go to Raif and explain. Surely he’d know it was me and break Pamela’s spell. “Gotch
a. Anything else?”

  “Just a warning,” Pamela said, her words as ominous as her expression. “This is human magick, Darian, and you’ll be subject to the rules of that magick. Everything you do has consequences. Levi told you that sometimes the price you pay has nothing to do with money. The effects can be immediate; other times it takes years to catch up with you. You’ll pay threefold for what you do tonight. Every action, every spell has a counteraction. Whether good or bad, what you do will come back to you three times, better or worse. Do you understand?”

  Well, wasn’t that just a cheery disclaimer? Might have been nice to have that information before the spell had been cast. Again, it was too late to lament what might be one of the shittiest decisions I’d ever made. What was done was done. Time to move on. “I understand. Don’t worry, Pamela. I wouldn’t have come here if I wasn’t ready to accept the consequences. But, seriously, I’ve got to go.”

  Pamela nodded, apparently satisfied that I understood the risks inherent in dabbling in human magick. It took another twenty minutes for Pamela to close her circle and end whatever it was we’d started. I much preferred Fae magic to the human version. It was more immediate, a shitload less painful, and had a hell of a lot fewer strings attached.

  * * *

  It was almost six o’clock, I was down to six hours, and I’d be cutting it close. Deciding that it would be safer to stick close to home, I chose to lure Kade into Belltown. The Bell Street walkway was public enough to offer a small amount of safety, while close enough to my apartment that I could easily bring Kade there to sink Ty’s dagger into his black heart without having any witnesses. Fingers shaking, I pulled my cell out of my pocket and dialed Tyler’s landline. I’d made a lot of assumptions in my planning—one of them being that Ty and Adira would be at his apartment—and hoped that my plan wouldn’t sink before it even got a chance to float.

  After the fourth ring, Tyler answered the phone. My mouth went suddenly dry as I remembered the way I’d sent him away from Dimitri’s funeral. I’m doing this for you, Ty, I thought as I locked down my emotions tight. Please just don’t give me any trouble.

  “Hello?” he said again.

  “I need to speak with Adira.” God, it was weird to not recognize my own voice. This one was higher pitched. Softer. Seemed odd that someone as evil as Kade would hook up with such a sweet-sounding woman.

  “Who is this?” Ty said with suspicion. I’d blocked my cell number before I dialed. No doubt he was already on high alert.

  “Please.” I knew Ty would be a sucker for a sad-sounding girl, and I poured on the theatrics. “I need to speak with her. I know she’s there, just please put her on the phone.” I made sure to hitch my voice just right at the end so it would sound like I was close to tears. The line went silent, no doubt Tyler trying decide what he should do. The muffled sound of him putting his hand over the receiver answered me, followed by muted voices. Come on, Ty. Just for once can you not be so damned stubborn.

  “Hello?”

  I sighed in relief at the sound of Adira’s voice. “If you want to be free of Kade once and for all you need to listen closely and do as I say.”

  “Who is this?” Nice. Like her alarmed tone was going to do anything to downplay Ty’s overprotective nature.

  “Jesus, Adira. How about let’s not get Ty on high alert. And for god’s sake, make sure he can’t hear this conversation. This is Darian.”

  “No, it isn’t.”

  “Yeah, it is. I just don’t . . . sound like myself right now. Listen, I know that you’re the Jinn who found Ty in Sudan, walking around the desert. You came to Xander’s to tell me all about how happy you and Tyler were together. And”—no way to put this delicately—“I also know that you’re sleeping with Kade, and whether involuntary or not, he’s slowly killing you as he drains your life essence. Is that enough to convince you?”

  “What do you want?” Her tone had softened, which meant she probably believed me. And if I had to guess, she’d be keeping the conversation down to a minimum so as not to clue Tyler in on what we were talking about.

  “I need you to get Kade to meet me at the Bell Street walkway. Only I won’t be me. Tell him whatever you can to get him there. Make something up but make it believable. Tell him . . .” This was a huge gamble. Too big, the lie would be unbelievable. Too small, the lie would be unconvincing. “Tell him he’s finally circumvented every rule. Tell him if he goes to the walkway, he’ll find Evelena there.”

  “What?”

  “Just do it. And hurry. We don’t have much time.”

  I hit END and stuffed my phone back into my pocket. If Kade didn’t bite, I was fucked. But in the meantime, I ran through every piece of information Anya had given me, going through my mental cache so that if Kade did show, I’d be a convincing replica of his dead lover. A strand of black hair blew in front of my face, and I captured it between my thumb and finger as I inspected the dark, corkscrew curl. No way was I going to look in a mirror. It would just be too damn weird to see a foreign face staring back at me. As long as Kade bought the illusion, I didn’t need to know how I looked.

  Several minutes later, my skin prickled as I felt the weight of someone’s stare. I turned around and leaned against the railing of the walkway to find Kade standing a hundred or so yards away, watching me. Eyes wide and wondrous, he looked even more angelic than usual.

  I smiled.

  Forcing the fact that Kade was nothing more than a rapist and a murdering sack of shit from my mind, I adopted a relaxed posture. In my human life, I’d had to pretend often. And if my performances weren’t entirely convincing, I’d pay for it later at the hands of Henry’s brutal abuse. I could do this. I’d give Kade a show worthy of an Academy Award.

  Evelena was pretty much what you’d expect from Kade’s mate, Darian. Anya’s words echoed in my mind. She came across as . . . innocent. But underneath that facade was a calculating mind and a cold, heartless soul. Kade loved her because she was unpredictable. She’d grace an enemy with one of her girlish, winsome smiles and then run a knife through his gut. He was absolutely obsessed with her.

  “Kade!” I called out, still startled by the voice that wasn’t mine. I ran toward him, funneling contrived joy into my expression.

  He started toward me, his steps hurried, but wary. You didn’t get to where Kade was by running headlong into potentially dangerous situations. I’d have to earn his trust. Evelena wasn’t shy, but she never showed her feelings to others. Kade would never expect any PDA. I slowed my pace to more of a brisk saunter and stopped short of throwing my arms around him when we finally came face-to-face. I let my expression do the talking: wide eyes, drinking him in, a blinding, seductive smile to show him just how happy I was to see him, and the icing on the cake? I focused on my own emotions until my eyes glistened with tears. Just when I felt like one tear would spill over my lid, I reined myself in, showing him instead that I refused to outwardly show him how I felt. A corner of his mouth lifted into a smirk as if he expected no less. Academy. Fucking. Award.

  “How did you do it?” I asked, breathless. “How did you bring me back?”

  “Evelena?” Kade took my face in his hands, his expression intent as he studied my face right down to the last pore. “No. This is a trick. You’re not really here.”

  I reached out the way Anya had shown me and brought both of Kade’s hands up between us. One by one, I touched my fingertips to his and then pressed our palms together. His mouth twitched, and recognition lit in his eyes. Slowly, I laced our fingers together and lowered them between us. “I’m here,” I whispered. “And nothing will ever separate us again.”

  Kade leaned his head toward mine, but I narrowed my eyes and shied away before he could kiss me. Uh, uh, buddy. No PDA. He smiled as if I’d passed his test and continued to study my face, rapt. “I thought it was a trick,” he mused, his thumbs drawing circles on the webs between my own thumbs and forefingers. “She said if I released her, I could keep you.”

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nbsp; Indignation flared but I was careful to mask my reaction. Adira. No doubt she’d seen an opportunity to be rid of both Kade and me. She’d be free and could keep Tyler all to herself. Well, it shouldn’t have been much of a surprise. Levi said that Jinn are attracted to like souls. Guess Kade and Adira were more alike than I’d thought. “The Jinn?” I asked. “She bound herself to you, didn’t she?”

  “She’s protected me,” Kade said. Yeah, like that response wasn’t misleading as hell. He stared off in contemplation. “But now . . .”

  “Now you have me,” I finished, giving his hands a little squeeze. “I can protect you. Anya betrayed you, sent you to your father’s hellhole prison. I’ll help you take your vengeance in a way the Jinn never could.”

  Kade’s eyes darkened, and my stomach did a nervous flip as his expression clouded over. Shit. It might not have been a good idea to bring up the subject of Anya and what Kade may or may not want from her. Not while it was so close to his imposed deadline. “This isn’t real,” he murmured.

  Not good. I was losing him. I wracked my brain for something, a tiny nugget of information that would help reel Kade in. “Kade, I don’t have much time. The magic that brought me here can send me away just as easily. You have to break the connection you have with the Jinn so she can’t send me away.”

  “I—I can’t think,” Kade stammered. He tried to pull away, but I held his hands firmly in my grip. “I need to find—”

  “You need me,” I said, infusing my tone with steely strength. “Not her. Your father imprisoned you for no reason! Kade.” I looked into his eyes, willing my expression to shine with anger. “Our son is dead. If you don’t break your bond with her, she’ll send me away, and I will be denied my own vengeance. Is that what you want for the woman you claimed to love?”