Evil Of Love

by Echeverria, N. L.

  “Not yet,” he responds to my frown so I continue to soap him and I have him turn so I can rub his back and I watch as the bubbles move down his tattoos. Once I step back he rinses off and then instantly grabs me and pulls me into him getting all my hair wet before turning off the shower.

  Grabbing two large towels from the towel rack he wraps one around me before quickly drying off his skin, still leaving his now wet boxers on. Guiding me to the lockers he digs through his duffle bag until he pulls out a dry pair of boxers. He turns, so I can only see his backside, which might I say is very nice, while he removes the wet boxers replacing them with the clean ones. I’m still standing here wrapped in the towel as he turns to me, and that burn, that fire that lights up his eyes is siring right through me. Eric grabs my towel and guides me over to a far corner where an old couch is pushed up against the wall. Who knows how many sweaty men have sat on it, but right now I don’t even care. He grabs my towel, laying it out on the couch.

  “Sit,” he whispers in my ear, holding my wet hair back.

  I sit down feeling a little awkward being exposed this way. I watch as Eric’s eyes run up and down my body before he crouches down to his knees on the floor before me. Any idea that I may have had at any point of running is now completely demolished as I watch him down in front of me. Green eyes peering up as he grabs my waist pulling me down so my butt is almost off the couch. Softly his long fingers trail along my knees, moving up my thighs and then moving back down to my knees, the whole while I’m going crazy on the inside detaining myself from grabbing him and releasing all my animalist nature. Gently he pushes my knees apart and now all of me is truly exposed. I quiver under the anticipation of what he’s going to do next. His wet blonde hair falls forward as he leans down kissing my knees and moving up until he reaches the inner thigh right next to my sweet spot. Instantly I tighten and hold my breath, preparing for what’s coming next. It’s not rough, he doesn’t take what he wants like Travis; instead he gives me what I need. His lips brush against the sensitive skin on my inner thigh and I grip the couch to hold myself in place. The coolness of his mouth reaches my pussy and I squirm under the sensation.

  Slowly his tongue glides over my lips and parts me, opening me up as he massages my clit. Instantly a moan escapes my mouth; the last time I was touched this tenderly was ten years ago, with him. His tongue continues to glide along my clit as his hands reach up finding my already hardened nipples and he pinches and turns them causing stimulation to surge all over my body. I can feel the orgasm building within and as he continues to lick and suck my clit he moves a finger inside me and it almost pushes me over the edge. Releasing the couch I grip his blonde hair bucking against him as I say his name in pure pleasure. One more movement of his talented tongue and I release the orgasm. He doesn’t stop sucking and moving his finger inside me until I’ve become still.

  “I forgot how fucking good you taste,” he groans looking up at me.

  My face is hot and flushed from the orgasm and his cheeks are pink as well. He doesn’t move though. Instead his eyes don’t leave mine as he slowly pushes a finger back inside of me. I watch him as he gently rubs my swollen clit with his other hand. Sitting straight up, he leans into me licking my hardened nipple and pulling it into his mouth as his fingers continue down below. My head falls back as that familiar feeling builds once more. My nipple falls from his mouth and he leans back moving another finger inside of me. I look up at him and his burning green eyes are watching me intently.

  “You’re so beautiful. I want to see you cum,” and as the words escape his mouth my head falls back as I let the orgasm build. His mouth licks my clit a few more times which is all it takes to send me over into ecstasy. A loud groan escapes me and his movements slow with the pace of my orgasm.

  I open my eyes and watch as he slowly takes his fingers out of me and places them in his mouth, sucking all the juices off. I’m damn near beside myself. I want to please him, I want him inside me. I sit up reaching down to tug at his boxers but his hands stop me.

  “Not yet, Steph. Not today and not here. I only wanted to pleasure you. I’ve missed you so fucking much,” he whispers into my ear as he brushes my wet auburn hair to the side. “I better get you back.”

  “Okay,” I respond as he stands up from the cement ground reaching a hand out to help me up. My legs feel like Jell-O and I hold his arm bracing myself. He leans down kissing my mouth tenderly, his tongue finding its way between my lips, entangling with mine and I’m wet all over again. I run my hands up his arms, remembering every feel of his muscles as they move while holding me. I could stay this way with him forever. It’s a feeling that is natural, one that is not forced. This man makes me feel things I never dreamt were possible. Before helping me get my clothes back on he gives me one last kiss on my forehead.

  What he makes me feel is more than just sex. He loves me; I know it and he would never hurt me. Not like what Travis has done to me. I think about the bruise on my cheek and reach a hand up to it, forgetting Eric is watching me.

  “I swear to God if I ever see Travis I will beat the living shit out of him for doing that to you, Steph! You need to get away from him before something worse happens.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Why the fuck not?” he voice raises which causes me to take a step back, but instantly his hands are around my waist and he’s pulling me back into him. “I’m sorry. I just hate that he has you. I hate that he gets to wake up next to you and I hate even more that he takes you for granted.”

  “I don’t want to talk about this right now. I’m not ready.”

  “That’s fine. I’m here whenever you’re ready to talk. Please know though if he ever lays a hand on you again I will not restrain myself from hunting the bastard down.”

  I wince at his anger, but at the same time it makes me all warm inside. He actually cares about my safety. He isn’t mad with me and doesn’t blame me, he blames Travis.

  “I love you, Steph, always have.”

  “I love you too,” I whisper. How could I not love him? I never stopped loving him. I’ve spend my life trying to recover from the deep love that he had rooted within me.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Once in Thomas’ car the implications of what I just did come slamming into me causing tears to stream down my cheeks. I just committed adultery. This would hurt my husband and I never wanted to hurt him. This would ruin his reputation. Ruin mine! All for some high school love. I’m such a fucking idiot! I’ve made myself the slut that Travis enjoys calling me. The tears don’t stop as Thomas pulls into our driveway. I know I have to clean up before Travis arrives. I have to cover this up. I can’t show that anything’s wrong and I have to stop seeing Eric. As much as it hurts me, breaks me inside, I know it’s what I have to do. I’m married and if I continue to see Eric I will fall too deeply in love and I’ll never be able to get out. I can’t do this to Travis, no matter how bad our marriage has been. I still love him.

  Thomas parks the car and I wipe my cheeks before he opens my door letting me out. His brow furrow as he examines my red eyes. “Stephanie, are you alright?”

  “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

  “What’s wrong dear? Did that man hurt you?” his voice filled with concern.

  “No. Nothing like that. He would never hurt me. I’m just sad. I don’t think I should see him anymore.”

  “Well, I don’t think that Mr. Barnes would approve of your lunch dates, but sometimes you need to do something for yourself. You need to make yourself happy.”

  “I don’t deserve Eric and I can’t be making myself happy at the expense of Travis. It’s not fair to him.”

  “I know I’m only the driver, but I see the way Travis treats you. I’ve heard it and what he did to you this last time… it’s unacceptable. No man should ever hit a woman.”

  “You knew what happened?” Shock and embarrassment flood my veins.

  “I heard him and then I saw you with that black eye. Travis is a good man
, but you deserve better.”

  “Thank you for your concern Thomas, but he is my husband and maybe he is all I deserve,” I sigh walking away from him and I hear him respond from behind me.

  “No one deserves what you’ve gone through!”

  I don’t reply back, instead I keep walking until I’m safely behind the door to my house. Shutting it behind me I fall to the floor as sobs escape my mouth. What I did… what Eric and I did… felt so fucking good! I’ve spent the last ten years dreaming about him and he shows up when I’m married! Fuck! I can’t believe what just happened… I knew it would… deep down no matter how much I try to deny it I want Eric. I want him more than anything and I obviously don’t give a shit who gets hurt in the meantime. I only went with him as a friend and came back a slut! Oh… if my dad could see me now I bet he would be laughing in my face saying ‘I told you so’. He always said I was worthless and right now I feel that way.

  As I’m curled up on the floor with my back against the front door, the images of Eric’s lips on my skin and his long fingers inside me flood my senses and heat me to my core. I know if I see him again, it’s all over. I can’t contain myself around him. The love I had for him at seventeen never faded… if anything it intensified over the years of not being with him.

  I wipe the tears from my cheeks pulling myself up. Travis may be home shortly and I can’t have him seeing me this way. I have to end this thing between Eric and me, but I fear it’s going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

  I take a shower, washing off all my makeup and clean up, applying fresh mascara and I put on one of my yellow summer dresses and some sandals. I know Travis prefers to see me in a dress so I hope this puts him in a good mood. By the time I’m in the kitchen pouring myself a glass of chardonnay I hear Travis’ car pull up and I grab a glass for him as well. With shaky hands I pour his wine. I’m beyond nervous. I feel like he’s going to see right through me. Taking a deep breath I walk with the glasses in hand to greet him at the door. He’s already walking through the entryway by the time I round the corner from the kitchen.

  “Hey, baby. I heard you pull up so I poured you some wine. How was your day?”

  I can see in his eyes he’s tired and stressed and his hair is a mess like he’s been pulling at it all day.

  “It was rough. I had several meetings of which were not pleasant ones. Thank you for the wine. I need it.” He leans into me taking the glass from my hand and placing a soft kiss on my lips and that’s when I smell it… the alcohol on his breath. He’s already been drinking. Whenever he’s had a hard day he typically will have several drinks before leaving the office so I’m sure he’s full of alcohol, but the way Travis is… he can never have too much. “I like the dress. Is it new?”

  “Not really,” I respond as he places his black suit case on the ground and grabs my hip with his free hand.

  His alcohol breath fills the air as he leans in kissing my neck right below my ear lobe. I shudder in response, almost disgusted by the gesture, but he must think I shuddered from pleasure because his lips don’t leave my skin. Instead they move down my neck, kissing my collar bone and then back up until he meets with my mouth.

  I feel stiff and awkward. I don’t want this to go any further after what I just did with Eric earlier. It isn’t right.

  “Here…” I say grabbing for his glass of wine, “let me take this for you while you go on upstairs and shower. I’ll take it to the back and we can sit outside for dinner tonight.”

  “I don’t want to go upstairs Stephanie. I want to fuck you,” he whispers in my ear and the chills run up my back as I’m reminded of Eric’s lips on my pussy and the intensely satisfying orgasm he gave me in the men’s locker room. I can’t… I can’t do this with Travis right now… not tonight.

  “Here, drink this glass and I’ll go get you a refill for when you come down,” I respond quietly, hoping to bribe him with the alcohol.

  He moves his lips from my neck to lean back and puts the glass to his mouth, swallowing all the contents within, before handing it back to me.

  “Fine,” he responds, bluntly.

  I watch as he walks up the stairs and I’m praying like hell the shower will calm him down a bit. This is going to be tough because when Travis wants sex he gets it and I’ve never denied him. I don’t how he would react if I did, but I’m sure it wouldn’t be pleasant.

  I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t know that I can play this game of being the good wife after what I did with Eric. It’s eating me up inside, but I know I have to be the stronger person. I have to forget what happened and cut all ties with Eric. Let him know it can’t go on any further. I’m fucking married! It should never have gotten to this point in the first place and there is no one else to blame but myself.

  I move to the kitchen taking a placing my wine glass to my lips, drinking down all the contents and then proceed to refill both our glasses with the crisp, clear fluid. I straighten my shoulders ready to take on the evening. I will do all I can to keep the wine flowing and his hands off me. If there’s alcohol I might be able to distract him long enough until he’s too drunk and passes out. If it comes down to it I’ll have to give in. I can’t let him suspect anything, but I will try my hardest to keep my distance.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The computer screen flashes on which automatically causes me to peer around the darkened room to verify no one’s watching me. After dinner and many glasses of wine Travis finally went to bed and didn’t request me to follow him. I stayed up reading a novel for an hour just to make sure he was sound asleep before I got on the computer. I instantly log into my email and already have an unread message from Eric. I hesitate to open it, but can’t resist. No matter how much I know it isn’t right I can’t hold myself back.

  Steph,

  Have I ever told you that you taste like sweet strawberries in the middle of July? Today was incredible. I can’t wait to see you again. I can’t wait to taste you again. Please, let me know when we can meet. Tomorrow? I can’t wait long.

  Love,

  Eric

  The words cause me to squirm in the leather computer chair, but I know I have to cut it off with him. I can’t keep this going without hurting Travis. I won’t be the tramp that everyone thinks I am. I won’t give them the benefit of being right. Before I can ponder over Eric’s lips and tongue and the way it moves along my delicate skin, I quickly type an email back.

  Eric,

  We can’t see each other again. I’m married to Travis Barnes and I don’t want to hurt him. I won’t be able to see you and please don’t email me anymore. It’s best if we don’t talk.

  I will always love you and you will always have my love but this is not the lifetime for us.

  Steph

  I sigh as I hit send; hands shaking and tears already forming in the corners of my eyes. I hate that I have to say goodbye to him in an email, but I know that face to face I won’t be able to deny my feelings. I love him. I stare at the screen before me, a part of me hoping he’ll respond back and the other part of me knowing I need to turn away. Let’s just say the first part took control and within a few minutes the screen has a pop stating new message. Nervously I click on the email.

  No. Please, please I’m begging you. Don’t do this Steph. Don’t let that bastard run your life any longer. I know he’s your husband and maybe I shouldn’t have come on to you but I don’t regret it. I love you. Please just let me see you. Let me talk to you one last time. Don’t end this the same way you did ten years ago. I can’t take it again. PLEASE! Tell me when we can meet tomorrow!

  Eric

  I can feel the pain in his words like a sword in my chest. I clutch at my heart doing all I can to steady my breath as the tears now stream down my cheeks. He’s right! I can’t do this all over again. It wasn’t the right way then and it isn’t the right way now.

  Eric

  You’re right. It isn’t fair to you or me. I’ll meet you. Tomorrow at noon at the coffee sh
op. But please, this has to be the last time. It has to be to say goodbye. I don’t have intentions on leaving Travis. I made the decision to marry him and he takes care of me. I can’t hurt him. Tomorrow is only to say goodbye.

  Steph

  With the send button I shut down the computer erasing any evidence of me being online and quietly sneak up to the bed that once was filled with trust and warmth.

  ***

  Stretching my arms and yawning I suddenly feel a hand firmly placed on my hip and a hardness pressed against my behind. At first I picture Eric and I squirm a little closer and then instantly open my eyes, realizing it’s Travis.

  “Shhh… don’t move baby. Your ass feels so fucking good in the morning,” he whispers as he pulls my long auburn hair away from my neck trailing kisses up the side. Thank god he can’t see my face right now because it’s filled with disgust and worry. I’m scared as hell that he’s going to find out there’s something different about me.

  His hand moves around to my belly sliding easily against my white silk night gown. I don’t move and don’t dare push away from him. His hand scrunches my night gown up until my bare ass is exposed and he presses against me again and I can feel he’s unclothed as well. Instead of prepping me, getting me wet to make it more enjoyable, he goes straight to rolling me on my belly and spreading my legs open on either side of his knees. I grunt in response, but he pays no attention. With no preparation he pounds into me once and hard, I cry out as he stretches me. A tear falls down my cheek as I realize this is always about him; everything is for his pleasure. As he pounds into me several more times more tears begin to escape me and as they do that sensation down in my gut begins to build. My body responds to my husband appropriately, but my mind is somewhere else. My hands fist into the sheets as he grips my hips tighter slamming into me again and again.