Evil Of Love

by Echeverria, N. L.

  I bury my face in an attempt to clear the tears and take steady breaths as he continues to violate me. This is not love. This is infatuation and control. The pressure builds inside me and I want so bad to fight it. I don’t want to give into the satisfaction. He doesn’t deserve it and I don’t deserve it after what I’ve done. I clench my teeth gripping even harder to the silk sheets and he slams into me several more times before a deep groan of satisfaction sounds from his lips and he begins to slow. Before moving out of me he tugs my hair pulling me up so that my back is almost pressed against his chest and as he grips my hair tighter he leans into my ear.

  “You belong to me,” he whispers and chills run up my spine, his tone harsh and dominantly controlling, as if I have no free will. He releases my hair, roughly pulling out of me and I bury my face in the bed as I hear the bathroom door close. At least I didn’t cum, but now I’m itching for relief. I refuse to gratify myself though.

  Chapter Fifteen

  I look back at the clock that hangs on the wall of the tiny coffee shop, waiting impatiently for Eric to arrive. He’s already five minutes late and the uncontrollable tapping of my foot is causing a clicking sound on the grey cement floor and it’s drawing attention to me. Facing reality that he’s not coming, I grab my purse and walk out hearing the bell on the door chime behind me. Thomas isn’t supposed to be back for another hour so I have no clue what I’m going to do with myself. The thought that he stood me up has tears brimming the corners of my eyes. I wipe them away before they can roll down my cheeks. This was the last time I was going to see him and he failed to show. I feel like my heart’s been ripped from my chest. I continue to walk in the direction of more office buildings, farther away from the market. I don’t know where I’m going, but I just need to walk. I feel as if I’ve been crying nonstop for days now and I want it to end. I want all this pain I’ve felt for so many years to be done with.

  I find myself coming up to the alley near the coffee shop. The alley Eric pulled me into the first day we were out here. The thought of the way his hands felt on my body as they ran up my thighs at the gym, has my cheeks burning with fire. Facing the empty alleyway I begin to realize just how empty my life is, like this alley. No matter what, Eric will never be mine and Travis will always treat me like I’m not worth more than the dirt on his shoes. I will forever be lonely. The tears begin to roll down my cheeks uncontrollably and I can’t wipe them away fast enough. A firm hand grabs my wrist pulling me around and a scream escapes my mouth.

  “Steph! What are you doing back here?” The sight of Eric has me breaking down; I wrap my arms around his neck barring my face into his green shirt. I take in his musky scent of cinnamon and a man that’s been working out.

  “I’m sorry I’m late Steph. I got caught in traffic. Why didn’t you wait in the coffee shop? I was pacing up and down the sidewalk looking for you,” concern ringing through his voice.

  “I thought you weren’t coming,” I cry into his shoulder where my face is still buried.

  “How could you think that? No way am I going to let you go that easily! I didn’t sleep all night after I got your email. I couldn’t believe you would just run away again. I won’t let you, Steph!” he says, pulling me by my arms away from him, forcing me to look him in the eyes. “I love you! Why don’t you see that? I won’t hurt you, Stephanie, and I definitely won’t let anyone else hurt you.”

  “It’s just… I can’t hurt him… not like this Eric. I’m not that wife. Even if he’s hurt me several times over the past two years, I refuse to be like him. I can’t be with you while I’m married to Travis, and I can’t leave him,” I whisper the last part because I don’t know if I’ve ever said that out loud. I see Travis as the one who saved me from my misery of not having Eric. How can I betray him?

  “Give me time Steph, please! Don’t end it now. It’s too soon. You’re not seeing me because you’re a bad wife. You’re seeing me because you deserve so much better. You’re betraying Travis because that’s what he deserves. You have to see that. Leave him! Don’t look back. Come with me. I’ll take care of you.”

  “I can’t…” I whisper as tears stream down my cheeks, he pushes completely away from me fiercely running his hands through his mangled blonde hair.

  “WHY?!” he growls, and I recoil from his tone, ducking my head in reaction, afraid of his anger. “Don’t! Don’t be scared of me. I’m sorry. I’m not angry with you. This isn’t your fault. I blame your dad and the asshole you’re with now. They’ve taught you that you don’t deserve to be treated with respect. You’ve grown to hate yourself, Steph, and I can see it in your eyes. Why don’t you see how special you are? Please, give me the chance to show you. I promise, I won’t let Travis hurt you and if you truly don’t want to be with me then I’ll let you go, but you have to give me the chance to show you how life with me could be.”

  He pulls me back into him, kissing my forehead, and I’m grateful for his comfort. I’m torn. I want him, always have, but to betray my husband, I just don’t know if I can do it. His hands move to my hair brushing it behind my ears as he tilts my chin up and I see him, I see the pain in his eyes. I can’t do this. I can’t leave him again. Not only will his heart break, but so will mine and I don’t know if I could ever recover from the endless torture it will cause both of us.

  “Please,” he pleads and I melt beneath him. How can I stop seeing him? I will die inside. I’m tired of being the one hurting, tired of letting others abuse me. Maybe, I can be with Eric. If what we have is love and Eric doesn’t change his mind, running the other direction, then maybe, just maybe, I can finally be truly happy. I’ll finally know what true love is. It’s the fear of him coming to the realization that I’m not worth his time and that he was only infatuated with me these last ten years, that it never was love that has me scared.

  “You don’t understand Eric…”

  Before I’m able to finish my sentence his mouth is crushed against mine and he’s moving me deeper into the alley. I attempt to fight against him, stopping him, but deep down I really want this, I want him and he knows it, so I give in. His hands grab my hips as he guides me against the cement wall where he almost kissed me for the first time.

  His large hands moving up my hips and under my tank until they reach my bra and he pulls it down allowing by breast to pop out and then moving my shirt up so both my nipples are exposed to the air instantly hardening. Both his thumbs run over my buds, rubbing them and pinching them causing a surge of pleasure to move from my breasts down to my needy place. Finally his lips move from mine as he takes one of my breasts in his mouth and I’m able to catch my breath, but the pleasure doesn’t stop there. After taking my nipple in his mouth, sucking and nipping, he moves to my other one while twisting the exposed bud with his fingers. Quickly he moves back to my lips and as he presses against me I feel the hardness in his jeans. It’s overwhelming. I can feel the desire.

  Swiftly he turns me around so that my nipples are firmly pressed against the cool cement which almost puts me over the edge. Lifting my skirt he grab’s my underwear pulling them all the way down to the ground, gently running his hand up my thighs on his way back up, spreading my legs slightly. He leans in and his lips brush my ear as I hear the zipper of his jeans and I know what’s about to happen, but I don’t want to stop it. I can’t bring myself to tell him no. I want him, badly.

  “I can’t wait any longer, tell me now, tell me now, Steph, if you don’t want this I’ll turn around never bothering you again,” he whispers in my ear, and I can feel his bare hardness pressed against my ass. Both of us panting, out of breath, I want it. I need to feel him inside me. I arch my back so that my ass presses harder against him. “Oh baby, you feel so fucking good,” he groans, as he presses harder against me and I’m pinned between him and the wall.

  He runs his finger between my legs, spreading me open as he trails kisses along the back of my neck. His finger enters me and he rubs my juices around, massaging my clit. “You’re so w
et,” he whispers between kisses. A deep moan escapes my lips as he slowly enters me, filling me. As he gently moves in and out of me I quickly begin to build, tightening around him.

  “Cum for me,” he whispers, and I shudder under the feel of his breath on my neck as he trails kisses down. Pounding harder inside me and I can’t hold back any longer and I give in, relishing in the sweetness of his body, screaming his name aloud, “Eric!” He continues moving in and out of me until he knows I’ve finished and then before I know it he’s turned me around lifting me up the wall and I straddle his hips, holding onto his neck as he continues.

  His lips meet mine and our tongues get tangled, roaming within each other as he keeps his rhythm, allowing me to build again. “I didn’t want to take you like this, Steph,” he whispers against my neck as he begins to pound harder inside of me and another moan escapes my lips. “I have to have you, all of you,” he grits between his movements, and with that he pushes in and out a few more times climaxing me to the point of no return, and I release calling out his name again in pleasure and I feel his body shudder against mine as he reaches his climax at the same time, filling me with his ecstasy.

  He doesn’t release me, just presses his forehead against my chest, both of us out of breath, him still inside me. He looks up with those mesmerizing green eyes and I know there’s no hope, I’m lost in him, and there is no return.

  “I love you, Stephanie.”

  “I love you too.”

  Gently he places me on my feet, then pulling his jeans back up as I fix my skirt. He bends down grabbing my underwear that is on the ground and stands up stuffing them in his pocket. “Hope it’s okay if I hold onto these?” he asks, grinning with satisfaction. I reply by pulling him back into me and kissing him passionately in a way I don’t think I’ve ever kissed Travis.

  Finally, I move away, a tear falling down my face, but I don’t care, I let it because it’s a tear of love and passion.

  “Promise me, you’ll give me a chance, and that once you see I truly love you and want you, then I’ll help you leave that asshole. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

  I don’t want to make promises because I don’t know how this is going to end. “I can only promise that I will give you a chance, Eric. I can’t promise anything more.”

  “I’ll take what I can get,” he replies pulling me in, hugging me and placing a delicate kiss upon my forehead. “Now, how about that coffee?”

  “Sounds good, but I’ve got to use a restroom first,” I say shyly, but he just smiles as he wraps his arm around my waist and we walk towards the coffee shop.

  ***

  As I sit across the small square table from my blonde haired, green eyed knight in shining armor, I can’t help but get the feeling that this is where I belong. With him. As he talks about his fight that’s coming up I watch his tattoos that move with his arms and every muscle that flexes as he gestures his hands. Those hands! I quiver at the mere thought of them touching me. My pussy already feeling moist again as I sit here crossed legged trying to focus on his words and not his delicious mouth. I take another sip of my coffee and am brought back to reality when a waitress comes by our table.

  “Can I get you two anything to eat?” she asks, her voice piercing my ears and making me wish even more that I was alone with Eric.

  “No, thank you,” Eric replies, turning his attention back to me. “So, give me till my fight. Four weeks, that’s all I need to show you where you belong, Steph.”

  Four weeks! Four weeks, to make a life changing decision. I don’t know if that’s enough time. I love this man, but he’s asking me to divorce my husband, the man that’s given me everything. Even if he disagrees with the way Travis treats me, Travis was still there for me when I had no one. Four weeks, I can do this!

  “Okay,” I reply quietly and I watch as his eyes light up with joy.

  “You’ll come to my fight and I’ll take you to dinner afterwards. We’ll celebrate my victory and your freedom from the asshole!”

  I giggle at his overeager confidence. “What makes you so sure you’ll win the fight and me?” I question.

  “Because, we belong together, Steph. You’ll see soon enough, and the fight, well that’s inevitable. I’ve spent too many years using my rage and loneliness in the rings to allow anyone to beat me. I fight for you Stephanie, and when I’m fighting for you, I can’t lose.”

  “I want to be with you Eric. I’m just not sure how, and I’m not sure how to leave Travis,” I take a breath not wanting to say the last piece, “he scares me.”

  He reaches out his arm grabbing my hands in his and the small ounce of me that was beginning to tremble quickly subsided. “I won’t let him hurt you. I’ll let you make your own choice. Like I said, if you don’t want to be with me after these four weeks, then I will leave. I’ll never bother you again. But I’m not walking away until I at least show you all I have to give,” he whispers, leaning across the small table, placing a sweet kiss on my forehead.

  “Four weeks,” I reply.

  “Four weeks, that’s it, and then the rest of our life.” He winks.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Eric

  God, she makes me lose control. The last time I was driven mad was when she left me ten years ago, no explanation. I’ve been crazy about her ever since, but seeing her, feeling her, I can’t get enough! I won’t let her go. I hate that I had my way with her in that alley. I’ll never forgive myself for just taking her like that. She deserves so much more. I couldn’t help myself though. I won’t let her run away. The feel of her silky skin beneath my fingers as she orgasms in my arms, is something I never want to lose.

  I’m lucky she agreed to give me till my fight to make up her mind on what she wants to do. Four weeks, that’s all I have to show her she’s worth so much more than the asshole she married. She’ll see she isn’t broken; she just needs someone who can give her all she deserves. It’s hard to focus, pounding away at the bag in the gym, when all I can see is me brushing her long silky auburn hair out of her face and placing my lips against her, taking in her sweetness.

  “Eric!” Marcus shouts in my ear and I’m brought back to reality.

  “What?”

  “Dude, if you’re going to win this fight you better fucking focus! What the hell’s going on with you lately?” he growls.

  “Nothing! I’m fine!”

  “Yeah, I’ve heard that before. I’m not going to be cleaning your body off the mat when you get the shit beat out of you by Andres Parker because you have your head to far up your ass to pay attention!”

  Now I know he’s mad. He doesn’t understand though. Every moment of the day I’m thinking about her. I won’t be whole until I know she’s mine.

  “You know better, Marcus. I’ve never been beat and I’m not about to start getting my ass kicked now! Even if I don’t train I’ll still win. Andres has nothing on me. He’s to fucking slow.”

  “I don’t care if you think you’re the shit, Eric, if you don’t start focusing, your luck is going to run out. Now what’s on your mind? Is it the girl you brought here?”

  “I don’t want to talk about her, Marcus. I’ll focus. Just do your job and train me. Let me worry about the fight.”

  “Fine, but the last girl you got serious with had you out of focus for a month and I never even met her.”

  “Keep your fucking opinions to yourself! You don’t know anything! I still won my fight and will this time as well. I’m done talking. Let’s finish here!” I growl back at him, done with hearing his opinion. He doesn’t know anything about that girl, Melanie. I thought I loved her. Thought she was the one who was going to break me of my sorrow of losing Steph, but it turned out she was a backstabbing whore who slept with one of my friends while we were dating. The only reason I was even upset after breaking it off with her was because it made me realize just how much I needed Stephanie. That was four years ago and it only hurt because I couldn’t have who I truly wanted. I have her now thoug
h and I’m not letting her go.

  Marcus doesn’t say anything else to me and we train for the next two hours. I imagine every time I hit the bag that it’s Steph’s husband I’m pounding on. I actually find it helps me focus during my training. I may have to start using this technique until I have Steph to myself. Helps me relieve some tension. God, what I would give to beat the shit out of that bastard for hitting her.

  ***

  Pulling into the parking space at my condo, I put my pickup into park, and images of Stephanie’s tight body start coming to me. The way her hard nipples feel against my tongue has my manhood standing to attention. Taking a deep breath, running my hand through my hair, I pull the keys out of the ignition, grab my bag and head inside. Locking the door behind me I toss my bag to the floor and once in the living room, fall onto my suede sofa. Lying back, all I can think about is her. I didn’t make love to her, I fucked her, and that’s not how I wanted it to happen. Next time I’m bringing her here. I’m not going to fuck her in some alleyway like a whore. The only problem I have though, is every time I see her, touch her, I want to be with her no matter where she is. Feel her tight pussy around me. Before I end up releasing right here on the sofa, I jump up and walk to my computer room switching my desktop on. While it boots up I change out of my clothes into some grey sweat pants.

  If I’m going to cum to the thought of Stephanie then I better be chatting with her at least. I look over at the clock on my desk, four o’clock. Her husband can’t be home yet and I know she won’t be anywhere else. I just hope she’s on her computer. I decide I’m buying her a phone tomorrow if she’ll let me. I’m tired of not being able to call her.

  I sit down in my leather computer chair opening my email, and it’s in this moment that I realize I won’t be able to go even a day without seeing her, without losing my mind. There are no new emails in my inbox. I click ‘compose’ and type in Steph’s email address.