Books for Kids: My Fox Ate My Homework (A hilarious fantasy for children ages 8-12)

by David Blaze

  My mom patted her pants leg. That meant her cell phone was vibrating. She answered the call and held up a finger to me, signaling she needed a minute.

  Her conversation went like this: “Uh huh. Uh huh. Yeah. Uh huh. Okay.”

  She put a palm over the receiver and looked at me. “It’s Uncle Mike. Something about a job.” She took her palm away from the receiver and spoke into it again. “Yeah, I’m still here. Just a minute.”

  I loved listening to these kinds of conversations where I could only hear one person. Not. It was like trying to put a puzzle together, and all the pieces were the wrong sizes.

  “This is going to take a few minutes,” my mom said to me. “I need to step away. Can you handle the table?”

  I looked around at all the people at the farmers market. There had to be hundreds of them. None of them were coming to our table. “Yeah — I think I’ll be okay.”

  She stepped through the crowd to the other side of the park where there were empty benches. I hoped it was good news for my mom. She loved to work and be around people.

  “Hello, Orlando,” some girl said to me. I looked across the table and saw my only friend at school. I thought her name was Melissa. Yeah, that was it. She was the one with big dimples. She gave me a wide grin.

  “Hey,” I said. “What are you doing here?” I was happy to see her, but tried not to show too much excitement.

  “I like to get crazy on the weekends,” she said, bobbing her head to the slow country music playing overhead.

  I laughed because I knew she was kidding. At least I hoped she was kidding. She frowned like she was hurt, then burst out laughing. “Got ya!”

  “I’m glad you’re here,” I told her with a smile.

  She smiled back. “Are you selling a lot of eggs?”

  I was too embarrassed to tell her we had only sold eggs to one person. “We’re doing okay,” I lied.

  She shook her head. “No, you’re not.” I shrugged my shoulders like I was confused by what she had said. “Everyone who comes here on a regular basis knows these are Rita’s eggs.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked with my arms crossed. I didn’t know my great-grandma very well, but the people around here better not have said anything bad about her.

  Melissa picked up a half carton of eggs and studied them. “Rita always had rotten eggs in her cartons.”

  “She thought they were golden eggs,” I whispered.

  Melissa put the carton down. “So, did you start on your paper, Mr. Writer?”

  I shook my head. “Not yet. I’m working on something big.”

  “Can’t wait,” she said and clicked her tongue. “Do yourself a favor and stay away from Shane. He doesn’t do any of his own work.” She turned to walk away. “Someone has to stand up to him.”

  I had to agree with her. I just wasn’t sure if I was the right person to do it. I had never been in a fight, and I wanted to keep it that way.

  My mom came back to the table with a smile on her face. “Okay, so… Uncle Mike’s job had a position open up, and they want to see me right away.”

  “Today?” I asked, holding up my hands.

  She sighed. “I hope that’s not a problem.”

  It wasn’t a problem at all. I had another chance to talk to the fox, and I didn’t want to pass that up — but there was one thing I had to do before we left.

  “Those hamburgers smell good,” I said, holding my stomach as it growled. I don’t know how long we were there, but I had smelled the hamburgers grilling the entire time with spices like garlic and pepper.

  “I could use one too, but I’m not sure we made enough money for that…” my mom said, picking up the egg cartons.

  I was so desperate for a hamburger that I pleaded with her. “We made twenty-four dollars. How can it not be enough for two hamburgers?”

  My mom smirked and spoke in a very serious voice. “People around here are crazy. They charge six dollars for half a dozen eggs.” She shook her head like it was an unfair price. “If they charge for hamburgers the same way…” She started to laugh and couldn’t finish the sentence. So she tried again. “If they charge for hamburgers the same way, then it’ll be six dollars for half a hamburger.” She snorted and laughed like she had just told the funniest joke in the world.

  All I could do was shake my head. Maybe we had been in the sun too long.

  SATURDAY AFTERNOON

  As soon as we got home, I opened the back door to see if I could find the fox. He was nowhere to be found. Maybe he was by the chicken coop again. “I’m gonna check on the chickens,” I told my mom.

  “Not right now,” she said, buttoning up a fancy dress shirt. “Close the door and come here.” I sighed and closed the door slowly, hoping to catch a glimpse of the fox.

  Nothing. Nada.

  “Listen to me carefully,” my mom said when I joined her in the living room. “I need to go take some tests for this job. I may be gone for a few hours.”

  I didn’t have any problem with that. It would give me more time to find the fox. It could also be my only chance to use the outhouse.

  “Do not leave this house for any reason,” my mom stressed. “I want you to stay right here and write your paper for school if you haven’t done it yet.” She nodded her head slowly like she wanted me to nod with her to show I understood.

  “Okay,” I murmured. It wasn’t fair, and I couldn’t tell her why, but I did need to write the three paragraphs about my best friend. This would be the perfect time to do it.

  She put on some lipstick and headed for the front door. “Call me if you need anything. Don’t forget there’s a pizza in the fridge.” She hesitated after she opened the front door. I thought for sure she wasn’t going to leave.

  “Love you, Mom,” I encouraged her. “See you when you get back.”

  She smiled and said she loved me too before closing the door. I waited until I heard the car pull away before I rushed out the back door. The chickens were roaming their fenced area. The coop was empty. I searched the entire yard. My heart sank when I knew for sure the fox wasn’t there.

  I went back inside and grabbed another two sheets of paper from my backpack. I sat on the couch and placed the paper on the coffee table in front of it. I didn’t know what had happened to the one from the night before, so I started over again with My Best Friend written across the top of one sheet.

  I couldn’t go any further. I wasn’t sure if I even had a best friend.

  A large car or truck skidded in the driveway in front of the house. A loud horn honked. I didn’t move because I had no idea who it was. My heart stopped when someone banged on the front door. I tried not to move, hoping whoever it was didn’t realize I was there.

  They banged on the door again. I shook every time their fist hit the door. “Delivery for Jonah Johnson!” a man’s voice shouted from outside.

  Me? I had a delivery?

  Oh yeah! The candy!

  I jumped up and raced for the door. I was scared I was too late when I heard the delivery truck start back up. I threw the door open and yelled, “Wait!”

  A big man wearing shorts jumped out of the truck. “Jonah Johnson?” I nodded my head. “Almost missed you, buddy.”

  He walked over to me with a large box in his hands and a tablet shaped like a clipboard. He set the box on the ground by me. “Sign here.” He was pointing to a spot on the tablet as he handed a pen to me.

  I signed it, thanked him, grabbed my box of candy and went back inside. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face because I was so excited about all the money I was about to make. I ripped the box open and pulled out two smaller boxes full of chocolate candy bars.

  I’d have to write my paper later because it was time to get down to business. I stepped out of the house with the boxes in both hands and closed the door. I didn’t have a key so I couldn’t lock the door. I doubted it would be a problem since we lived in the country and there were only a handful of houses on this road.

>   My mom said I couldn’t leave the house, but I had to do it for both of us. She was going back to work to make some money, and now I had the chance to make some money too. She’d have to be proud of me for helping out. Together, we could get this house back.

  I walked out of the yard with my candy and headed down the dirt road. There were two more houses on the right side and three on the left. I’d stop at each one and sell as much candy as possible. If it went well, and I sold all the candy, I’d do this every Saturday.

  No one was home at the first house. I was disappointed, but I refused to give up this early.

  Maybe they went to the farmers market. I could check back later.

  No one was home at the second house either. Now I was getting worried. There were only three more houses on this street. I wasn’t willing to go down any other streets because I didn’t want to get lost.

  A young man opened the door at the third house. He was wearing a motorcycle jacket and had earrings in both ears. There was a cigarette in his left hand. “Yeah?” he said.

  I gulped. I couldn’t say anything. I had pictured this moment perfectly in my head. I was supposed to introduce myself and be friendly. That didn’t happen.

  “Are you okay, kid?” the guy asked.

  I cleared my throat and held up one of the boxes. I could only say one word, and it was in a squeaky voice I didn’t recognize as my own. “Candy?”

  The man sighed. “Ah, man. I bought a box of chocolate the other day from another kid.”

  Strike three. This was the third house, and I still hadn’t sold any candy. I lowered the box and turned to walk away. I felt embarrassed for some reason.

  “Hold on, kid,” the man said. He threw his cigarette down and stomped on it before blowing a puff of smoke out his mouth. “How much?”

  I faced him and cleared my throat again. “A dollar a bar.”

  He huffed. “Give me five of them.” His voice was raspy like he didn’t want to do it. He reached for his wallet and pulled out a five dollar bill.

  I handed him the five chocolate bars and accepted his money. “Thank you!”

  He just said, “Yeah,” and slammed his door.

  Okay. Now I was getting somewhere. There were two more houses to go. Thank goodness I didn't give up earlier. Things were looking up!

  No one was home at the fourth house. I rubbed my forehead and panicked. The two boxes had twenty bars of chocolate each. Forty bars in all! What was I thinking? I had thirty-five bars left and there was no way I could sell them all at one house.

  I still had to sell as many as I could. My mom would be home soon and I’d have to explain all of this to her. I did not want to do that. I couldn’t give up.

  I knocked on the sixth door. No one answered. It was over. It was all over. I was going to be in so much trouble.

  “Hello,” said an old man’s voice before I turned away. “I don’t believe it. You’re the kid who stole Rita’s eggs.” He waited a second, laughed, and then turned to someone behind him. “Martha, come here. It’s Rita’s great-grandson.”

  Mrs. Hunter was by his side within seconds. She smiled. “Oh, dear child. Come in, come in.” I wasn’t supposed to go into strangers’ homes, but I had met these people with my mom just a couple of hours earlier. Not that it mattered — I had to get home before my mom did.

  “I can’t stay,” I told them.

  Mr. Hunter narrowed his eyes. “What brings you here, Joe?”

  I was surprised he remembered my name and said it right. “I’m selling some candy and wanted to see if you wanted any.”

  Mr. Hunter shook his head. “I love chocolate, but my doctor won’t let me touch it.”

  And there it was. Did you hear it? It was the sound of my complete failure. I did everything I could to keep from crying. “Thanks anyways,” I told them. My mom was going to kill me.

  “Wait a second, child,” Mrs. Hunter said. “Why are you selling the chocolate?”

  I hesitated. “I want to help my mom.”

  Mrs. Hunter made a sound from her throat that sounded like awwwww. “You’re a good boy.” She turned to her husband. “It’s up to you,” she said to him. “Rita was my best friend.” She walked away and left Mr. Hunter in the doorway facing me.

  “Come to think of it,” Mr. Hunter said, “I never liked my doctor much.” He pointed to the boxes in my hands. “How much is the chocolate?”

  “One dollar each,” I told him. He was only going to buy one — so it didn’t matter. I wished he’d hurry up, though. My mom could already be home. She’d call the cops because the door was unlocked and I wasn’t there.

  “How many do you have left?” he asked. He needed to stop wasting time and just ask for a bar.

  “Thirty-five.”

  He whistled. “That’s a lot.” No kidding. I needed him to tell me how many he wanted, or I’d have to leave and race home.

  He said the one thing I never expected. “I’ll take them all.” He pulled out his wallet and handed me thirty-five dollars!

  I didn’t know what to say — I couldn’t move. Never in a million years did I think someone would buy all my chocolate. I certainly didn’t think Mr. Hunter would be the one to buy most of them.

  “So now you’ve got my money…” Mr. Hunter said, rubbing his chin. I knew he was going to ask me to do something for him, like wash his car or lick his boots. I won’t lie — I was willing to do it. He had saved me from certain death.

  “Are you going to give me my candy?” he asked.

  I looked at the two boxes in my hands and realized in my excitement I forgot to give them to him! I shoved them in front of me. “I’m sorry. Here you go.”

  He grabbed them and said, “These are mine now, right? I can do what I want with them?”

  That was a silly question. Of course he could do whatever he wanted with them. For all I cared, he could throw them in the trash. “Yes, sir. They’re yours.”

  He smiled. “I’d like to welcome you and your mom to the neighborhood with these two boxes of chocolate.” He handed them right back to me.

  I wasn’t sure what to do. I already had his money. Now I had the candy back too? I stared at him, confused.

  “Please take them,” Mr. Hunter pleaded. “I’ll never hear the end of it from my wife if you don’t. There’s not enough Aspirin in the world for that.” He smirked. “Trust me — you’re doing me a favor.”

  “Thank you,” was all I could say to him. He wasn’t a bad guy. I was liking the neighborhood more and more and wished we didn’t have to leave.

  SATURDAY NIGHT

  My mom wasn’t home yet when I got back. I was drenched in sweat and out of breath from running home. It was worth it, though. My mom would be so proud of me.

  I heard her car door close in the driveway. She came inside and didn’t even see me. “Hey, Jonah,” was all she said before she went straight to the computer.

  “Mom, what’s going on?” I asked her. I looked over her shoulder and saw she was on the bank’s website.

  “I got an alert on my phone from the bank,” she said. “It says the account balance fell below twenty dollars.” She sounded frustrated. “I don’t know how this happened.”

  I smiled because I was about to make her day. “I can tell you what happened.” I held the two boxes of chocolate in front of her like a trophy.

  She stared at me and shook her head. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her look so disappointed. “You used my card to buy candy?” She put her hands on top of her head. “Please tell me this is joke. Because I know you would not use that card unless it was an emergency.”

  I swallowed hard. She was speaking slowly again, and she never spoke that slowly unless I was in trouble. I had a feeling I was in trouble no matter what I told her. “It’s okay. I know you didn’t want me selling candy door to door, but that’s what I did while you were gone. And I made a lot of money!”

  Her face turned red.

  I reached into my pockets and pulled out the
money I had collected. “Look. I sold it all and even got to keep some.” I showed her the money, but she wouldn’t stop staring at me.

  She said something she had never said before. “I don’t know what to do with you. Go to your room until I can figure it out.”

  I handed her the money, but she wouldn’t take it — so I set it on the desk next to the computer. I marched toward my room, with every intention of slamming my door shut and locking myself in. I went out of my way to help, and that was the thanks I got for it? Never again!

  “Jonah, wait,” I heard my mom plead. I stopped and turned around. What else was she going to yell at me about?

  She stared at me and grinned. “I got the job.”

  I couldn’t help but grin back. “I knew you would.”

  She stood up and shook her head. “I don’t want to be mad at you. Things are hard right now.” She walked over and hugged me. “Thank you for trying to help out.”

  As I lay in my lumpy bed that night, I wondered how much more our lives would change. We didn’t have a lot at the moment, but at least we had each other.

  SUNDAY MORNING

  I woke up to a rap on my bedroom window. I smiled when I saw the fox’s blue eyes staring back at me, standing outside with his face pressed against the window and his tongue sticking out again.

  I sat up and stretched, trying to get the kinks out of my back. The sun was out, so there wasn’t any crunching under my feet as I walked to the window. I unlocked the window and pushed it up.

  “Good morning, fox,” I told him. My voice was shaky because the air outside was cool.

  “Wanna have some fun today?” he asked, wagging his tail. His smile was so big I had to laugh. He made me feel good about myself for some reason.

  “I don’t think I’m allowed to have fun today,” I told him, hoping I was wrong. I had never seen my mom as mad as she was the night before. And I didn’t know what she had planned for me that day. “I’m in trouble.”