by Tia Siren
Chapter 15
One Month Later
Will
Ever since Ella had come home for the summer, she had been watching Avery for me almost every day. The summertime was always a struggle since school was out, but I felt more comfortable leaving him with her than some daycare I knew he wouldn’t feel comfortable at. Even though Ella had been around almost every day, there was no dating, no flirting, and absolutely no sex. In fact, Ella had been increasingly distant from me, just showing up in the morning and then leaving in the evening without much dialogue between us.
I had found myself in a really tough situation. When I stopped things between Ella and me, I had been completely confused, not knowing whether I wanted her or the idea of her. After that, though, I almost immediately realized how wrong I had been. I did want her in my life, and Avery’s life for that matter. The entire last month had made me even more dissatisfied and less focused than I had been before I ever started anything with Ella. It took hold of my mind all day, at work and outside it, and when I was around her, I found myself searching for the right words.
It was finally Friday, which meant I wouldn’t need a babysitter. On top of that, my mother had come down and picked Avery up, taking him to her house for the weekend. That was always Avery’s favorite thing to do on the weekends, but I could tell he was a little sad to be leaving Ella, which pulled at my heart a bit. Before she had left for the day, I had asked her to come back over after Avery was gone so that we could chat. I needed to get her alone so I could attempt to fix what I had royally screwed up. When she got there, I smiled and led her into the living room, offering her something to drink, but she refused politely.
“I wanted to have you here to tell you just how grateful I am that you have been watching Avery,” I said. “He has been in a fragile state for a while now, and having him home, safe, and in the hands of someone he trusts makes me feel a lot better than if I had dropped him at a daycare. Having you here to watch him has really simplified things for me and allowed me to work more efficiently and not have to worry about whether my son is in good hands or not. It has made things so much easier for me and for Avery. I hope it has done some of those things for you, too.”
“It’s really not a problem,” she said politely. “I really care about Avery, and I am happy I can be here to make sure he stays safe when you can’t be around.”
“We are really going to miss you when you go back to school,” I replied.
“Yes, well, I will miss him, too,” she said, diverting the conversation back to Avery.
“Look,” I said, leaning forward. “I really need to be open and honest with you.”
“All right,” she said, shifting in her seat. “Hit me with it.”
“I miss being with you,” I said bluntly. “This last month has been extremely lonely, and I haven’t been able to get you off my mind, even when I know it is imperative for me to do so.”
“Well, I don’t know what you want me to say to that,” she said, anger in her voice. “If you remember correctly, you are the one who broke everything off with me. I’m sorry I have been distant, but this is my job right now, and I can leave the personal stuff behind. In fact, I think it is best for both of us if I do so. I mean, I don’t think I have to remind you that you are the one who pushed me away to begin with. You are the one who cut things off, telling me it was better for us if we just stopped what we were doing.”
“Look, I know that what I did was a complete mistake,” I said. “I got overwhelmed by everything going on, and I was trying to make sure you didn’t get hurt.”
“I don’t know,” she said angrily. “To me it seemed like you were trying your best to make sure you didn’t get hurt.”
“That is not true, Ella,” I said, defending myself. “I cared enough to know when I wasn’t sure if I could give you what you were going to want from me if we continued on the path we were on. I was trying to protect you from getting hurt.”
“I can’t hide it anymore,” she said, shaking her head. “I have feelings for you. I tried not to, but I do. They are blatantly there all the time for me. I never really questioned them, but you did.”
“I never forced you into any of this,” I said, avoiding talking about my feelings. “I never led you on in any way, not even in the beginning. I was open and honest about what I thought I might be capable of.”
“Yeah, well, it didn’t seem to work,” she said, standing up. “I just—”
I walked straight to her and put my hand around the back of her neck, pulling her hard into my kiss. My mouth moved wildly over hers, and although she stiffened at first, her muscles slowly relaxed and she leaned into me. When I pulled away from her, I looked down into her eyes.
“I think that kiss shows you all you need to know because words are cheap,” I whispered. “Actions always speak louder.”
She reached down and took my hand, tugging me toward my room. We went inside and shut the door behind us. As soon as our eyes met, we reached for each other, our hands moving all over the other as our tongues swirling wildly together. Any bit of anger that had been there quickly turned into passion, and neither of us could control ourselves.
I reached down and untucked Ella’s shirt from her shorts before pulling it up and over her head. I kissed her neck as I dropped it onto the floor. My hands immediately went back up and unclasped her bra, letting her perky tits bounce out into my hands. I dipped my head down and sucked on her nipples hard, feeling her breathing intensify. She pulled at the buttons on my shirt until it was undone and then tossed it across the room. As I fiddled with her pants, she tried to take off mine until we switched and quickly stripped ourselves down. I pulled my boxers off, watching as she peeled her silk thong from her body and stood naked in front of me. I took a deep breath, feeling my cock harden so much that it was almost painful.
I rushed toward her and squeezed her tits hard as my mouth sucked on her bottom lip. She moaned into my mouth as we crashed into one another, the pain turning to pleasure and the lust rising by the second. I smoothed my hand down her body and cupped her wet mound, massaging it as I backed her up toward the bed. She hit it and fell backward, me trailing right behind her. I quickly spread her legs and, lying next to her, began to finger her hard and fast. She let out a loud moan as she picked her hips up off the bed and let me in.
“Yes,” she gasped.
She looked down, watching as I bit my lip and moved my arm forward and back as fast as I could, her juices flowing over my hand. I put my other hand on her clit and began to swirl circles around the hard nub. She arched her back and shook her head as she reached up and grabbed the bedspread above her. She continued to rotate her hips against my hand as her body stiffened, readying herself for the orgasm that was racing toward her.
As my thumb moved faster against her clit, she screamed out quietly and then took in a deep breath and held it, coming hard on my hand. I watched her writhe and twitch from the feeling of my hand and knew this was not going to be her only orgasm. This was only the beginning. Before she had even untensed from the orgasm, I scooted down and off the bed, pulled her forward against the edge, and spread her lips wide. Her pussy glimmered from the flowing juices, and I looked up, smiling, before diving my head down and licking her from top to bottom.
She squirmed and wiggled on the bed, but she wasn’t going to get away from this one. I reached up and pushed her down before returning to my previous position with my hand on her clit. My tongue fluttered up through her juices, and then I pulled my head up and began to rub her clit hard and fast. Her eyes flew open, and she looked like she was struggling to keep herself from exploding all over again.
“I want you to come again,” I whispered. “Right now.”
With that, I rubbed her clit as fast and hard as I possibly could. She was so frozen that she couldn’t say a word. Her body flailed around, trying to fight the urge to come again, but it looked as if the rolling orgasm was starting to take over. I smiled as she reached d
own and gripped my hand, her body convulsing as the orgasm that floated just at the edge took hold and threw her body into another dimension of pleasure. I let her hand stop mine, but I didn’t take it away. I liked exploring her body. When she calmed a bit, I stroked my cock and climbed up on top of her.
Slowly, I moved my shaft through her juices and pushed in. She gasped, her body exhausted. I hooked her trembling thighs over my arms and held on to her thighs, pushing my cock in slowly before pulling it almost all the way back out. She lay there moaning softly as our bodies collided. She sighed deeply, and her nipples hardened even more than before. I unhooked her legs and leaned over her, looking deep into her eyes.
I began to push faster, finding myself at the edge, needing her, wanting her, wanting that release I had been thinking about for over a month. She reached her arms up and let out a deep breath, tilting her head back and closing her eyes. She spread her legs farther apart, giving me even more depth than I already had. I knew I couldn’t hold back any longer, and I didn’t even try.
I grabbed her thighs and pushed deep inside, leaning over and pressing my mouth against hers as I groaned loudly, letting the orgasm take hold and wash over my body. The feeling of my cock pulsating against her pussy was arousing, and I gripped down, feeling myself release deep inside her. It was sensual and erotic as she wrapped her legs around my waist, intertwining our bodies.
When it was all over with, I lay there next to Ella, holding her tightly in my arms and attempting to recover. It felt absolutely amazing to have her so close to me, to feel us building a connection. It didn’t take long for us to fall asleep.
Chapter 16
Ella
The sun from the windows cascaded across the bedroom and right into my eyes. Slowly, I shifted, remembering quickly that I wasn’t alone. I turned and looked at Will, who was yawning and reaching over for me. He sat up slightly and kissed me gently on the lips before getting out of bed and dressing. I watched as he disappeared into his bathroom before coming back looking like a million dollars. It was going to take me more time than that to not look like the oversexed, complete mess I knew I looked like. Will walked over and kissed me on the forehead.
“I’m going to go make breakfast,” he whispered. “Take your time getting ready. I’ll meet you out there.”
I nodded my head and smiled, looking around the room to find my clothes flung everywhere. It seemed we had been a bit more pent-up than I had thought. After Will left the room, I got out of bed, pulled all my clothes together, and put them on. I went into the bathroom and brushed my hair before pulling it back into a high ponytail. I stood there looking at myself in the mirror. My cheeks were flushed, my face was glimmering, and the look on my face was unmistakable. I looked beyond happy.
When I went out to the kitchen, I walked up behind Will and put my arms around his waist and kissed the back of his neck. He smiled and leaned his head back, allowing me to kiss his lips.
“I really enjoyed having a woman in my bed and falling asleep with her last night,” he said. “You are the first woman I have slept with in my bed since my wife passed away.”
A shot of electricity went up through my chest as I looked deep into his eyes, but something in the back of mind also screamed at me to back away, and fast. I shook that part from my thoughts and took in a deep breath, refusing to let this moment have any negativity attached to it. I had given in to him, given in to the fact that I had feelings for this man, and really strong ones at that. He had started out as nothing more than a crush, had grown into a fantasy, and now he was more than that. Still, as he opened his mouth to continue talking, I couldn’t help but feel like I was falling into a trap, like I hadn’t thoroughly read the whole story before racing to the end.
“I still can’t express to you how grateful I am that you have been here, through thick and thin, to help me through everything,” he said, kissing me again.
“How could I not be?” I asked, laughing. “I have these two amazingly handsome men asking me for help. Any girl would be stupid not to jump right in on that. Besides, the perks have been well worth every runny nose and board game I have partaken in.”
“Hey, those board games are pretty amazing,” he said, smiling. “And my son is becoming a wiz at them. I’m pretty sure he whooped my ass at Monopoly the other night, and he can’t even count yet.”
“You have to start them young, get their minds moving,” I said, smiling. “Besides, I don’t see it being too hard to beat you at a board game. You tend to overthink things.”
“That is very true,” he said, turning back to the eggs as I walked over to the breakfast bar. “But in reality, you really did provide me with the distraction I needed so desperately. It was absolutely perfect timing. I don’t know where I would be right now without you.”
I shifted and the smile completely disappeared from my face. Did he just call me a distraction? I was almost positive I was not misunderstanding what he had just said to me. I took a deep breath, anger welling up in my chest. I was deeply disturbed by pretty much everything he had just said. What otherwise were sweet words immediately took on a completely different meaning when coupled with a word like distraction.
The voice I had pushed to the side suddenly became loud and vibrant in my mind. God, I was so stupid. I had actually thought I was falling in love with this man. I had thought it was all falling exactly into place. Now, though, from what he had said, it sounded like he wasn’t falling for me at all. It sounded like his feelings were the exact opposite of what mine were. Maybe I had misunderstood him the night before. Maybe he hadn’t been telling me he missed me or wanted me because of his feelings for me, but instead because, without me around, he fell back into his depressive, widower state where he moped around and forgot about the beautiful things in life.
In fact, I was pretty sure he had just told me I was nothing more than a distraction from his dead wife. I was keeping her ghost at bay so he could feel like a normal person again. I was a means to an end, a tool he was using to get his life back on track. It was quite obvious now that he did not feel about me the way I felt about him. For the first time in my life, I felt like a complete piece of trash. I had been taken advantage of because of my feelings for him. After everything I had done, everything I had said to him, he had tossed me to the side, thought of me as nothing more than an antidote for his aching, grieving heart. I didn’t want to be someone’s antidote. I wanted to be their drug.
“I don’t need a plate,” I said, stopping him before he could pull two down. “I won’t be eating breakfast here. I have a polo match to attend with my family. I should be getting back because they will be waking up soon.”
“Oh,” he said, turning around as I stood and walked toward him. “Well, text me later then, okay?”
“Sure,” I replied, reaching up and kissing his cheek.
I turned and walked to the door quickly, holding my emotions inside. It wasn’t a lie. I did have to go to a polo match that day. It just wasn’t as detrimental as it sounded. I went home and tried to put everything into perspective while showering, dressing, and heading over to the match. When I arrived, everything seemed to move in slow motion around me. My father made some pointed observations about my sister going to law school, but even then I didn’t pay much attention. My mind was on Will and everything I had been told that morning. I still couldn’t believe what he had said. My mother shushed my father for me, though, before he could continue to make digs at me. She was actually paying attention that morning.
“Are you okay, honey?” she asked.
“Yeah,” I said, trying to shake myself out of my haze. “I’m fine, Mom.”
“Are you sure?” she asked. “I mean, you’ve been spending a lot of time away with Will and Avery lately. You just seem, well, different.”
“I’m just making some extra money babysitting. That’s all.” I smiled. “Between that, the graduation, and my upcoming senior year, I’m just a little tired. I seem to always be so busy.”
That answer seemed to appease my mother, but that was normal. She would ask the tough questions but never wanted to hear the tough answers.
Later on, Taryn and I went for a walk around the arena, silently strolling through the crowds. I knew Taryn could tell something was going on, but I didn’t have it in me to start the conversation. So, we walked in silence for quite a while, just trying to get through the day together. We never did like these kinds of events.
“What’s going on?” she finally asked after we finished a lap around the arena.
“God,” I said, putting my hands to my face. “I made a mistake, Taryn. I think I might be falling in love with Will, and I am pretty sure he doesn’t feel the same way. It’s a really awful feeling. I thought love was supposed to be all butterflies and rainbows.”
She chuckled. “Since when in this life that you and I live is anything all butterflies and rainbows? Things, even the good ones, are always more like machetes and grenades.”
“Wow.” I laughed at her comparison. “Harsh, but so true.”
“Have you told Will how you feel?”
“God, no,” I said, shaking my head. “But for a split second, I thought he felt the same way. After this morning, though, I can’t be sure of anything except the fact that Dad is still a douchebag.”
“Well, some things are constant,” she said. “But in all seriousness, I really want you—no, I need you—to be careful with yourself around Will. Guarding your heart in a situation like this might not be a bad thing.”
“Really?” I was surprised by her answer. “But I thought you were totally down for this. I mean, a month ago you were pushing me toward Will rather than away from him.”
“True,” she said with a sigh. “But at the time, I didn’t really see where you were mentally. I’m concerned you are falling for the fantasy of Will, the man you think he is or hope he is, instead of the man he really is. That kind of love can end really badly. There can’t be much that’s worse than falling for someone and then finding out that person never actually existed. I can see that being something that would crush you.”