Desperate Intentions (HQR Intrigue)

by Carla Cassidy

  For the next hour they checked all the walls in Katie’s room. Thankfully the conversation remained light and there was no mention of the night they had spent together. He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to think about it—or the fact that sooner or later he was going to break her heart.

  They found two hidey-holes in the walls. Both were empty. By that time the kids were coming home from school. He walked with her only to his house and then stopped. “I’ll try to get over tomorrow, but I’ve got several big jobs going on right now and can’t promise anything.”

  “You know what I said about your work.” Her gaze held his for a long moment. “And I know this is probably a difficult week for you so whatever time you want to give me, I’ll take. But I also understand if you need time alone.”

  God, why did she have to look so damned beautiful with the afternoon sun shining in her hair? Why did she have to be so damned understanding?

  “Then I’ll see you later,” he finally said.

  He intentionally didn’t walk with her to the bus stop. He not only had to begin distancing him from Eliza but he needed to distance himself from her children as well. Still, the very thought made his heart hurt.

  He should have never gotten so involved with Katie and Sammy knowing he had no plans to be in their lives long term. He knew they adored him, but they deserved so much better than him.

  Minutes later he sat in his recliner and stared blankly at the television. He was trying hard not to think about the anniversary approaching on Saturday, but being in Katie’s room had evoked memories of Annie.

  She, too, had loved pink and her bedroom had been filled with pink ruffles and lace. She’d liked to climb trees and play rough-and-tumble, but she also liked a fancy little tea party now and then. She, too, had loved her dolls, especially one he had given to her when she’d turned three. That particular doll had been buried with her.

  He shoved away these thoughts, knowing he would be immersed in and tormented by memories when Saturday came. He would wallow in those memories all that day and then he’d push them away for another time.

  He went to bed early that night and tried to keep his mind completely empty. He didn’t want to think about his daughter and he didn’t want to think about Eliza and her loving, beautiful children.

  Thankfully he’d scored another big commercial job for landscaping that should occupy him for the next couple of weeks. It was a new office complex that not only needed sod, but the owners also wanted several ornamental trees and hundreds of rosebushes and flowers planted. He was meeting a team of his men in the morning at the site to begin the work of laying sod.

  For the next two days Troy worked until late and then wound up each evening at Garozzi’s for dinner. Throughout each day it was thoughts of Eliza that intruded.

  He missed seeing her. He wondered how her days had been and if she’d suffered any more nightmares. How well was Sammy getting along? Did Katie still have a crush on a little boy in her class named James or did she already have a new boyfriend?

  He didn’t like that he missed them all. He’d definitely allowed his emotions to spiral out of control where they were all concerned.

  He was reminded of how much he’d always wanted a family of his own. His own parents had divorced when he was eight and he’d always sworn that when he got married it would be forever. He’d wanted a forever woman and children he would love and guide into adulthood. Eliza and her kids had renewed that longing inside him, but it was a longing he refused to fulfill.

  Been there and done that, and fate had decided he couldn’t have it and had ripped it all away from him in a single moment of looking away.

  Thursday night he’d just stepped out of his truck when Eliza came out her front door with a plate in her hand. She hurried toward him, her smile warming him despite his wish to the contrary.

  He couldn’t help the way his heart lifted at the sight of her or the smile that curved his lips. “What have you got there?”

  “Cupcakes for a hardworking man,” she replied. As she got closer he saw six cupcakes on the plate. “I hope you like chocolate chip cupcakes with chocolate frosting.”

  “Sounds good to me. Thanks.” He took the plate from her. “How have things been at your place?”

  “Good. I managed to clear the guest room and the bathroom. I didn’t find anything in either room. No hidey-holes and no precious gems.”

  “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to help you out, but this new job has me working from dawn to dusk,” he said.

  She smiled at him. “Don’t apologize. You told me you’d landed a new big project. How is it going?”

  “It’s going, but there’s still a lot to do in a short amount of time. Is Katie still in love with James?”

  She laughed, the sound wrapping around his heart like a ribbon filled with warmth. “No, apparently she saw James pick his nose and that grossed her out so badly she has now decided that she hates all boys except her brother and you.”

  “At least I’m in good company,” he replied even as his heart cringed. How could he make those two kids stop loving him?

  Her gaze softened. “I’ve missed seeing you. How are you doing?”

  “I’m doing okay. I’ve just been really busy, but I should get away for a little while tomorrow. We only have to get through your bedroom and then the second level will be done.”

  “If you can’t get away, don’t worry about it. I can clear my bedroom. I do wish you’d come by for dinner. The kids miss seeing you. I miss seeing you.”

  “I’ll see what I can do,” he replied noncommittally.

  She looked back toward her house. “I’ve got to get back inside. I hope you enjoy the cupcakes.” She gave him another one of her bright smiles. “Hopefully we’ll see you tomorrow.”

  He watched as she headed back to her house and cursed himself for not putting an end to things with her. He should have told her that he intended to be a good neighbor and friend, but that’s all he would ever be. He would never be a permanent part of her life in a romantic way.

  He should have told her not to expect him for dinner ever again, but he hadn’t. Dammit, he should have told her to stop smiling at him like he’d hung the moon. He carried the cupcakes into the house and set them on the island in the kitchen.

  He then went back outside to get his mail and grab the morning paper that he hadn’t had a chance to read that morning. He made himself a cup of coffee and then sat at the table with a cupcake and the mail.

  How did you break up with a woman without breaking her heart? Could he get on the internet and find the answer? If he talked to Mike, would he have some advice on how to make everything better?

  It couldn’t be done. There was no way to break it off with her without breaking her heart. Maybe the best thing he could do was to be a total ass and piss her off so that she was the one who broke things off with him.

  He sighed and took a bite of the cupcake. It was delicious, just as he’d expected it to be. Everything about Eliza Burke was delicious.

  He finished the cupcake and then tackled the mail. An electric bill, a gas bill, three flyers that were garbage and then a plain white envelope addressed to him in block letters. There was no return address and no stamp.

  Staring at the envelope, he tried to figure out who might have put a piece of mail in his box without sending it through the post office.

  A sense of dread swept through him that he tried to tamp down. Maybe it was some sort of a party invitation from a neighbor. Very doubtful. He didn’t know any of his neighbors other than Eliza well enough to be invited to any party they might be hosting.

  Advertising that had been hand-delivered, kind of like the flyer he’d found on his door the other day? No way.

  He wouldn’t know what it was until he opened it. He slid his finger beneath the seal, surprised to feel a photo tucked in
side a folded piece of paper. He read the paper before looking at the photo.

  HAPPY ANNIVERSARY. I MADE SURE YOU GOT A GREAT PRESENT.

  He frowned at the bold block letters and then picked up the photo. He gasped in stunned surprise and immediately threw the photo to the center of the table.

  He closed his eyes and drew in several long, deep breaths to get over the horrifying shock that rippled through him. He opened his eyes, steeled himself and then reached for the picture once again.

  Dwight Weatherby was in a bed and obviously dead. His throat gaped open from a mortal wound and a V had been carved into his forehead. The blood was a vivid splash of red against the man’s skin.

  He was dead. The man who had kidnapped and raped Troy’s daughter had been killed by one of the men with whom Troy had made the murder pact.

  Which one of the men had killed him? Who in the group had taken the photo and then put it in his mailbox? The picture with the note felt gleeful and...sick. It was as if the killer was gloating and that bothered Troy.

  Their pact had never been about torturing the men they wanted dead. It had always been about justice. But this murder didn’t feel like justice; it felt like somebody enjoyed it.

  Still, any normal human being would feel at least a little bit sorry for the horrific way the man had met his death. Troy had hated Dwight Weatherby more than anyone else on the face of the earth, but he’d always envisioned him dying by a single gunshot to the head or the heart. These were supposed to be clean kills, and there had been nothing clean about Dwight’s death.

  Still, he was glad the man was dead and that was why he couldn’t...he wouldn’t be with Eliza and her children. Because ultimately he was responsible not only for his daughter’s death, but also for Weatherby’s murder.

  Chapter Ten

  Eliza read about Dwight Weatherby’s murder in the Friday morning paper. Instantly her thoughts were for Troy. What was he feeling? With the anniversary of Annie’s death tomorrow he had to be relieved that Dwight Weatherby would never prey on a little girl again. Even she was glad that kind of man no longer walked the earth.

  She’d been a bit disappointed all week by Troy’s absence. She certainly didn’t expect him to come over during his workday. But she had thought they might spend the evenings together, especially after the night they’d shared.

  She’d thought about that night a lot during the past week and each time she did a rush of sweet warmth overtook her.

  For the first time in years she wasn’t afraid of the future. Owning the house without a mortgage had assured her a certain amount of financial stability, and having Troy in her life had filled an empty place she hadn’t believed would ever be filled.

  She was excited about the future, especially the one she envisioned with Troy. He was everything she could have ever dreamed of for herself and her children.

  It was just after noon when the man of her dreams knocked on her door. “Hi,” she said, and gave him a quick hug. He either hadn’t worked that morning or had worked and then showered before coming over.

  He smelled of sunshine and minty soap and the cologne that somehow always made her feel safe and secure. “I wasn’t sure if I was going to see you today or not,” she said.

  “We need to talk.” His gaze didn’t quite reach hers.

  “Okay. Why don’t we go into the living room?” She thought she knew why he was so sober and...oddly distant. She’d seen the information about Dwight Weatherby’s murder in the morning newspaper and he’d probably seen it, too. And the anniversary of his daughter’s murder had to be playing with his head.

  Moments later the two of them were seated on the sofa. “I saw it in the morning newspaper,” she said. “You must be relieved...and satisfied.”

  One eyebrow quirked upward as he gazed at her in surprise. “You think I should be satisfied that a man was brutally murdered?”

  “That particular man, yes,” she replied. Troy’s features were drawn, as if he hadn’t slept the night before. “You have to be glad that he’s dead and will never be able to hurt a little girl again. The earth is far better off without him.”

  “I am happy, and I’m glad he probably suffered.” The words seeped out of him on a whisper, as if he was ashamed of his feelings.

  “Troy, don’t feel guilty for that. It’s perfectly understandable that you would feel that way about him. He did a horrific thing that destroyed your life and left you forever bereft. Besides, it’s not like you’re the one who murdered him. Somebody else couldn’t stand the idea of that man being alive.”

  He frowned and stared down at the floor. “I’ve wished him dead over and over again for the last three years.” He released a deep sigh and dragged his hand through his unruly hair. “But that isn’t why I’m here or what I wanted to talk to you about.” His voice held a touch of frustration.

  “Then what did you want to talk about?” She wanted to reach out and touch him somehow. But his stiff posture didn’t invite any kind of a touch. What was going on? A flutter of anxiety shot through her.

  “I need to make sure we’re both on the same page.”

  “And what page is that?” she asked slowly as the touch of anxiety swelled even bigger inside her. He looked so serious and once again his gaze didn’t quite meet hers, but rather lifted to stare at a place just over her shoulder.

  “The one where we’re just having fun spending time together and you don’t expect anything else from me.” His gaze finally found hers and in the depths of his beautiful eyes she saw a distance she’d never seen there before.

  Her heart dropped to the floor as all kinds of emotions began to bubble inside her. “I... I don’t understand. I thought we were moving toward something really special.”

  Was he trying to break things off between them? Was this because of some crazy negative emotion that had him in its grip because of the murder of Dwight Weatherby or the anniversary of Annie’s death?

  Maybe if she told him how she felt about him it would stop whatever negative voices must be talking in his head. “Troy, I’m in love with you.”

  The words hung in the air for what felt like an agonizing eternity. He finally released another deep sigh. “Well, that’s unfortunate.”

  His response to her heartfelt confession was like a slap in the face. His callous words momentarily stole her breath away. Unfortunate? That was his response to her baring her heart and telling him she was in love with him, that it was unfortunate? Confusion battled with hurt inside her and the pressure in her chest grew greater.

  “Troy, why are you doing this? Why are you saying these things?” She wanted to shake him until the distance in his eyes cleared. She needed him to really look at her while he explained what was going on in his head.

  “Because they need to be said. Eliza, I don’t intend to get married again. Hell, I don’t even want a long-term relationship in my life. I’ve enjoyed our time together, but I wanted to make sure you were clear about what to expect from me.”

  He looked so cold, with his features pulled taut and his eyes holding a hard glaze she’d never seen there before. Tears burned at her eyes as a sense of devastation filled her.

  “You might have told me that before you took me to bed,” she finally said.

  “As I recall, you practically jumped into my bed without much prompting from me.”

  She gasped as his words stabbed through her like a knife. A rich anger filled her. “Don’t you dare try to make me out as some kind of a whore. I slept with you because I’d fallen in love with you and I believed you felt that way about me, too.”

  Her voice trembled with her hurt. “Don’t you dare try to cheapen me like that.” She stared at him for several long moments, hoping he’d tell her this was all some kind of a bad joke and he hadn’t meant any of it. But he remained silent and stoic.

  “You’ve told me what page you’re on
, so I think we’re done here.” Once again hot tears pressed at her eyes as she stood.

  She felt utterly blindsided and completely heartbroken. All she wanted now was for him to leave before her tears began to fall. She refused to allow him to see her cry.

  He got up from the sofa and once again he didn’t look at her as they walked toward the front door. When they reached the door he turned and gazed at her. He raised a hand, as if to touch her, but then dropped his arm back to his side.

  “I’m sorry if I hurt you, Eliza. That was never my intention.” His gaze turned soft and for just a moment she could swear she saw love there. It was there in his beautiful blue eyes only for a heartbeat and then gone as his eyes became shuttered and unfathomable again.

  “I should have never let things get to the place they did without letting you know that I had no intention of having a deep and meaningful relationship. The very last thing I wanted was for you to fall in love with me.”

  She opened the door and remained silent. She didn’t have any words left to respond to him. She was in a state of shock.

  “I guess I’ll see you around,” he continued. “And you know if anything happens I’m right next door.”

  She gave him a curt nod and he walked out the door. She closed it after him, set the alarm and then leaned with her forehead against the wood.

  In a single five-minute conversation, he had dashed all her hopes and dreams for the future. For several long moments she was too weak to move. The tears she’d fought against now released with explosive sobs.

  How could she have been so wrong about him? About everything? There had been no red flags, no little alarm bells, absolutely nothing to warn her that this was coming. She should have known he was too good to be true.

  She finally made her way back to the sofa where she collapsed in a heap. What had just happened? Why had it happened? She’d been so sure he was falling in love with her, that they were on the same page, but she’d believed it was her page where they continued to build to a marriage and her happily-ever-after.