Vice in its Proper Shape

by Anonymous

  CHAP. IV.

  _The Transmigration of Master_ STEPHEN CHURL _into the Body of a littleCur._

  In the next apartment we entered, we saw a little snarling cur, whoimmediately saluted us with a surly grin, and barked and yelped as ifhe would have torn the house down. He was indeed very securely chainedto a small kennel; but my daughter Betsey happening to venture too nearhim, he snapped at her and tore her apron. "Take care, miss, said Mr.Wiseman, and keep out of his reach; for though he is but a cur, he isvery mischievous. His body is the contemptible residence of the soul ofthe late Master _Churl_. Poor miserable youth! he was a wrangler fromhis infancy; and his litigious temper gave him as just a title to thename of _Churl_ as his birth. Even when he was a child in arms, he wassuch a peevish and noisy little brat, that his mamma could not find awoman who would undertake the trouble of nursing him; and as soon as hewas able to speak and run alone, he began to wrangle with his brothersand sisters, upon the most trifling occasions, and seldom forgot tosupport his argument by exerting his little hands and heels with themost malicious activity; so that to mortify his pride, and give a checkto his ill nature, they bestowed upon him the disgraceful title ofyoung _Kick and Cuff_. Poor Stephen, however bid defiance to all theirridicule, and was so far from being reclaimed by it, that histurbulence increased in proportion to his strength and stature. He wasafterwards as quarrelsome at school as he had been at home; and inevery party at taw, or trap ball, or any other innocent diversion inwhich he happened to be engaged, he was always remarkable fordisturbing the game by his frivolous disputes: Nay, when he was only alooker on, he would betray his wrangling impertinent temper, by callingout, such a one does not play fairly; such a one counts too many; andsuch a one goes in before his turn. The usual reward he received forhis trouble was, a handsome drubbing, sometimes from his master, butmore frequently from his school fellows. He was equally notorious forhis great forwardness to give a challenge, upon the slightestprovocation, and very often from mere wantonness; and sometimes hewould very unfairly begin an engagement without giving any previousnotice, that he might make sure of the first blow. But his strength andskill being unequal to his pretensions, the many mortifying defeats hereceived, soon taught him the despicable cunning of assaulting none butthose, who, he believed, were either too weak to contend with him, ortoo cowardly to stand in their own defence. The speedy consequence ofsuch a dirty conduct was, that the bigger boys despised and laughed athim, and those who were less than himself, carefully shunned hiscompany; so that at last poor wrangling Stephen, for want ofplay-fellows, had no other diversion left for him, but to take asolitary ramble through the fields. His parents being informed of thedisagreeable situation into which he had brought himself, and what ashy reception he met with from all the boys in the neighbourhood,thought it adviseable, after giving him a strict caution to behave in amore peaceable manner for the future, to remove him to a genteelboarding school, at a distance from home. If he had thought proper tofollow their advice, and make a diligent use of the excellentinstructions he received from his new teachers, he might afterwardshave cut a shining figure in the world; but, as what is bred in thebone, seldom gets out of the flesh, so it fared with _Stephen Churl_.Though he was a little reserved at first, as being entirely amongstrangers, a short acquaintance with them made him very familiar--theaffability and good nature with which they listened to every thing hesaid, soon encouraged him to be pert; and from pertness he proceeded toopen rudeness and ill manners--until at last happening to be verymildly reprimanded by one of the young gentlemen, whose tenderness hemisconstrued into cowardice, he commenced hostilities, as usual, bygiving him an unexpected blow on the face. But his antagonist beingpossessed of as much spirit as politeness, returned the compliment inan instant; and conducted the engagement on his side with such vigourand activity, that our hero soon retired from the field of battleheartily drubbed, to make his complaint to the master, who, after aminute inquiry into all the circumstances of the fray, thought properto reward him for the unnecessary trouble he had given himself, withthe severest flogging he had ever received in his life time. Thusmortified and disgraced, the unfortunate _Stephen_ resolved upon anelopement; but, being ashamed to return to his parents, he rambledthrough the fields and woods, and scrambled over hedges and ditches,until at length having torn his clothes to rags, and being almost readyto perish with hunger, he eagerly listed himself into a gang ofgypsies, and supped very heartily upon the remains of a roasted cat.The intolerable hardships he suffered, and the coarse fare he wasobliged to put up with in this new situation, together with thefrequent bangs and thumps which he received from the younger part ofhis strolling comrades, who were as quarrelsome and mischievous ashimself, but abundantly more robust, soon broke his heart; so that hedied in a barn, and was buried, like a beggar, at the expense of alittle country parish." While the Bramin was concluding the history ofMaster _Churl_, my son _Jackey_, whose temper was rather too fiery,looked very sheepish; which his sister _Betsey_ observing, and easilyguessing the cause of it, she desired him with a good natured smile,when we were leaving the room, to think on poor _Stephen_, and be sureto take warning.