Double Bind

by Karen Bell

  Had she heard him correctly? Did he just offer her a job? Mila danced around the room for the next thirty seconds until Ginger stuck her head in and caught her like that.

  ‘It went well I presume?’ she asked without a hint of a smile.

  ‘Yes, Mr Arnett’s offered me a job starting this Saturday.’

  ‘Well don’t get excited. You’re only filling in while Bella’s off sick. And in case you have any ideas about Mr Arnett, he’s taken. He’s charming to all the girls but he’s happily married.’

  What an odd thing to say. ‘I wouldn’t dream of it,’ she replied sincerely.

  ‘Then you’d be the first. He might be old, but he’s rich, and that’s more than enough incentive for most.’

  Mila didn’t comment. She wasn’t about to let a snide comment bring her down. She was on a high. She was about to bring in her first paycheque since she was fifteen. It might be in a dubious profession. It might be the antithesis of where she really wanted to see herself but she had taken the initiative and was at least some way towards being able to support herself and hopefully keep herself and Holly out of danger.

  Mila was by then both hungry and exhausted. She dressed quickly, back into her own clothes, leaving on the wig and makeup as disguise. She wasn’t about to waste further money on a taxi home and dragged herself onto the bus. Sliding down in the seat she took out the million hairpins, before finally slipping off the wig and shaking out her hair.

  She went to send text messages to thank both Siren and Sarah and saw that she’d missed calls from Adie and Ryan. Too exhausted to type two messages, she typed one, and sent it to both of them saying that she’d call the following day.

  When Mila finally walked through her door, she barely had the energy to hang her dress and take a shower before collapsing in to bed. She was asleep in an instant.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  The following morning, still in the brain fog of semi-sleep she wondered if recent events had all been a dream. The cold light of day reminded her they were not. Mila was still thinking about the way her fortunes had changed on a dime in the course of a day. It seemed a lifetime since she’d woken in Ryan’s bed the morning before. No wonder she now felt really challenged trying to get through her stretches and gruelling exercise routine.

  Once again, her dreams had to be put on hold. What she had really wanted to do, following Robert’s death, but before all this had happened, was to somehow train as a call volunteer for a crisis help-line. She had no formal qualifications but a mountain of empathy to be of help to young girls who found themselves either pregnant or in an abusive home.

  It had been on the tip of her tongue to ask Adie for her opinion or some advice, but now it seemed pretty futile. Her nights would be unpredictable at best.

  She felt time and circumstance slipping again beyond her control and it was more than defeating, it was soul destroying. Having waited almost two decades since marrying, for her time in life, it was as if the rug had again been pulled out from under her. She was determined not to let this latest turn of events define the next two decades as well and decided that she would make some enquiries to Lifeline regardless. It cost nothing to ask, and maybe she could do some training by day.

  She finished exercising and sat thinking at the kitchen table, stomaching her first meal in twenty-four hours. With pen and paper in hand, she wrote in brief all the worries and commitments that were overwhelming her and draining her mental energy. She always found it helped to have it out of her head and on paper where she could sift through and get some perspective.

  She now had more to juggle, what with preparing her act for Saturday, possibly Sunday, a solicitor’s appointment today and all that it entailed, as well as maybe signing a real estate agent’s agreement. Then there was Ryan, who was taking up a good portion of her time and her thoughts. Her in-laws had been all but ignored – she felt bad about that - and finally Adie, who would soon become suspicious, if Mila fell off the radar for more than a day at a time. Come to think about it, both Adie and Ryan would start asking questions if she was out night after night without explanation. It would have been convenient to use Ryan as an excuse to Adie and vice versa but it was likely that they would one day meet and Mila was confident that lies had short legs, especially with Ryan on the chase.

  She’d have to take the initiative to see them when she could, in the hope that it would reduce the chance of them calling at night when she was at the club. She picked up the phone to call Adie and was lucky to catch her before her first appointment. It had been a few days and Adie wanted to be brought up to speed on the state of affairs - or the affair with Ryan to be precise. Mila was cagey but admitted to having spent the night with him, which unleashed a barrage of excited questions. ‘When, where, in what positions?’

  ‘You’ll just have to wait until we next meet to hear details,’ answered Mila coyly.

  ‘I can’t wait that long! Come for dinner tonight.’

  ‘But I might be seeing him tonight.’ Mila had hoped that Ryan would call, not only because she was falling hard for him but also because she knew that both weekend evenings would likely be taken at the club.

  ‘That’s moving fast isn’t it?’

  ‘Now you’re starting to sound like Holly, who was singularly unimpressed when I mentioned him.’

  ‘You didn’t tell Holly you’d slept with him did you?’ Adie sounded horrified.

  ‘No, of course not. But the whole idea of me dating went down like a concrete cloud, so best if we keep it between us. I know that you and Holly talk behind my back.’

  ‘Holly is the daughter I never had but we’ve both got your best interests at heart and rest assured your secrets are safe with me – it’s the psychologists’ code of conduct, or privacy protocols or some such.Anyway, Carlos and I are just dying to meet this elusive man. Why don’t you bring him for dinner on Sunday night then?’

  Mila had to think fast. ‘Oh, so your Carlos falls outside of all privacy protocols? I will have to edit the steamy bits if I know you’re sharing them with Carlos. Anyway it’s maybe too soon to be showing Ryan off and he works all sorts of un-godly shift hours so he may not be available. Are you free to catch up for lunch today and leave the introductions for another week or two?’

  ‘I can see a snow job a mile away, but today for lunch is good. Hey, but don’t think you’ll be able to keep him from us for too long.’

  ‘If things get serious you’ll be the first to meet him, I promise.’

  ‘Okay, I’ll see you at my office at one. We’ll go to that nice café on the corner – bring photos.’

  ‘There are no photos!’ Mila laughed.

  ‘So take some, that’s what your new phone is for. Hasta luego.’

  ‘See you then.’ Mila hung up with a smile on her face. Adie was good at that.

  Mila had also promised to call Ryan but could see herself being late for the solicitor if she did. By the time she’d showered and dressed she was already behind schedule.

  She was driving when her mobile buzzed and she pulled over to answer it. ‘Hi you,’ she answered, sounding flustered, ‘I meant to call but I’m running late for an appointment. I’m driving there now.’

  ‘You’re on hands-free I hope.’

  ‘No officer, but I’ve pulled over, so you don’t need to issue a ticket.’

  ‘Actually I was ringing to issue a ticket. Two in fact, to see Pink at the Entertainment Centre tonight. Are you interested? They’re just above the mosh pit so they should be great seats.’

  ‘I wouldn’t have taken you as a Pink fan?’ she replied.

  ‘I’m not really but the tickets weren’t originally mine. My partner at work, Amy, you met her after the break-in, is a huge fan, and she bought them but she can’t go because her father’s sick, so I snapped them up. I tried to call you last night but someone didn’t pick up or return my call.’ He said it lightly and Mila didn’t feel she was really in trouble. It was probably a good thing that she’d
unintentionally played hard to get.

  ‘Sorry, I do have a life you know. But I’d love to come with you tonight. I’ve never been to a live concert before.’

  ‘Really,’ he tried to keep the surprise from his voice. ‘You mean you’ve never been to a Pink concert.’

  ‘No I mean any concert.’

  He didn’t miss a beat. ‘Then this will be the perfect initiation. And next time I’d love to take you to a Chilli Peppers concert to show you another side of rock or maybe Santana or something classical if you’d prefer?’

  ‘Sounds great.’ Mila was delighted to hear his excitement and the chance of further time to be spent in his company.

  ‘What is your preference in music,’ he asked, ‘and don’t say opera – I’m no Richard Gere from Pretty Woman and hopefully you’re no Julia Roberts because opera goes straight over my head.’

  Mila laughed, appreciating his honesty. ‘No, opera’s not for everybody –it’s not even an acquired taste for some but I do think you might enjoy Carmen. I grew up hearing it at home and it’s pretty catchy.’

  ‘Well for you, I’d subject myself to anything, but I’d probably rather spend two hours with the dentist having root canal work, truth be told.’

  Mila had been caught up in the conversation but suddenly realizing the time, she rushed to get going again.

  ‘Was that your car engine I just heard?’ he asked.

  ‘No.’ she squeaked by way of a lie ‘But I have to go, I’m now seriously late.’

  ‘Okay. Just lucky you’re not under oath. Go, and I’ll pick you up at seven.’

  The solicitor had Robert’s will and a copy of her house title deed prepared when Mila, apologizing, rushed through the door. She handed over all the papers from the day before and sat herself down while he read over everything. His brow was furrowed and his occasional tutting noises were beginning to unnerve her.

  He was not one to pull punches and Mila braced herself for the inevitable as he looked over his glasses.

  So, it sounds like yesterday was already a reality check and I’m sorry to say I don’t have any better news for you today. The house was, as you know, solely in Robert’s name. I’ve had a forensic accountant run a search for any other property or shares that Robert might have owned and I’m sorry to say that he’s come up empty.

  ‘I know,’ she replied bravely.

  ‘Have you had a valuation of the house yet?’

  ‘No, but the bank is arranging it.’

  ‘Good,’ he answered. ‘Robert has drawn up his will so that the house is in trust for Holly, with me as the executor and trustee until she reaches the age of twenty-one.

  ‘Where would that leave me?’ she asked.

  As his wife, and next of kin, you would be entitled to live in the house for your lifetime and in any subsequent home purchased with the money but it’s a messy way of going about things and I tried to discourage your husband at the time but he was adamant. Of course I didn’t know then, about any of this debt either. You’re listed as the residual beneficiary, meaning that you could rightfully sell his car and any other assets if there were any.’

  ‘He mentioned more than once that Holly would have the house but I always thought that the proceeds of my parents’ home would be more than enough to live on.’

  ‘You know if the will were to go to court, it probably wouldn’t stand up. A husband can’t just bypass his wife and gift solely to his children. There has to be enough for his spouse to live on, so we could fill out a family provision application but it could take up to a year to challenge and given the debt on the home, I don’t know if it’s really worth it.’

  ‘I can’t wait a year,’ there was panic in her voice, ‘I don’t have the money to make this month’s payment, let alone catch up on those missed. Besides which, I don’t want to take from Holly what was intended for her.’

  ‘Well, as executor of the will, I could approach the bank and ask for three months to put the house on the market rather than waiting for them to take it as a mortgagee sale. Unfortunately, you’re listed on the loan document, so you would be deemed liable for outstanding payments.’

  ‘What? How can you be liable for a debt but not be a beneficiary?’ The unfolding information was doing nothing to assuage Mila’s mounting anxiety.

  ‘You’ve signed documents apparently at some time. Maybe when the term deposit was first opened?’

  Mila had been made to sign all sorts of papers during their marriage. She was squarely to blame for not reading them, for stupidly believing that where money was concerned at least, Robert was above reproach. He’d always been so damned frugal, who would have thought he could somehow blow his way through over a million dollars in equity. ‘Could the bank come after Robert’s superfund too?’ Mila could feel her cheeks on fire.

  ‘No I don’t believe so, the trustee of the superfund would be obliged to see that in the absence of a nominee the money comes to the next of kin. But in this case, you and Holly are both listed as equal beneficiaries. Unfortunately, regardless of whether you contest the split, it is likely to take several months before you receive the money, especially as the trustee of the fund will most likely insist on probate.’

  Mila was unable to respond. The lump sitting solidly in her throat precluded speech. She had been shredding the tissue that she held in her hands, twisting it in knots until little bits began to fall into her lap.

  She was, of course thinking of the other debt that she’d hoped to part pay using that money. What she really wanted to do was to bang her head on the table, scream and throw herself on the floor but she was obliged to keep her composure and learn if it could possibly get any worse as the solicitor continued.

  ‘The insurance money, the fifty thousand is yours and it should be paid to you quickly. You are the beneficiary listed there, so assuming we accept the offer that was made in this letter, no one can touch that.

  No one of course except the loan sharks circling outside her door, she thought bitterly, but at least, at last, something she could offer as a part payment. Nothing, she now realised, had been a given. Robert could have listed Holly or even his parents as the beneficiaries of his life insurance instead of her, but small mercies, the policy had originally been taken out when Holly was still a child.

  ‘Would you like me to contest the payout figure? There’s a chance that the courts might agree with Robert’s assessment that the cancer was present while premiums were being paid. I’ve heard that pancreatic cancer can be growing without symptoms for a long time. It is a long shot but plausible.’

  ‘No, thank you,’ she answered in a whisper. ‘I don’t think I could cope with a court case. I’d rather just know what I can count on now.’

  ‘Fair enough. It sounds like your husband was a gambler and you’re not.’

  You have no idea how close you are to the truth. It was all getting far more complicated than Mila could have imagined and her head was ready to explode.

  ‘Mila, you can leave a lot of this to me. I knew your parents for almost twenty years. They were honest, hardworking people and you were the apple of their eye. None of us would have suspected Robert of this and it’s the least I can do to help you out now. Please don’t worry about my fees in all this. We can work them out over a hundred year plan.’

  Once again, Mila was indebted by someone’s kindness and it was all she could do to nod gratefully while gulping back tears.

  He gave her a handshake, which turned into an awkward hug when she stood to leave. Mila’s leaden limbs reminded her how very exhausting this rollercoaster had become.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Ryan had finally found a few spare minutes to look further into the slippery character that was Robert Taylor. He was working on an educated hunch. Mila’s accidental admission that her finances were not as healthy as she’d once thought, had immediately flown a red flag, that in Ryan’s experience could only allude to a few possibilities. Gambling, drinking, cocaine, fast cars and expens
ive women were the typical ways men blew large amounts of cash, and none of those possibilities augured well for Mila.

  There was no quick way of finding out which was his vice, but Mila did mention that he travelled frequently for business and Ryan intended to put in calls to Star, Crown and Jupiter Casinos to see if his name rated a mention.

  Often, the high-rollers were known to them, and sometimes, addicted gamblers actually had themselves banned in order to prevent recurring losses. Then there were those blacklisted for trying to cheat the system.

  A single phone call was all it took. Eureka, he said to himself with no joy on learning that Robert Taylor of Randwick NSW was on a ‘deny entry’ list that was shared between every major casino in the country.

  ‘For what reasons?’ he’d asked.

  ‘Suspected card counting in blackjack and aggressive behaviour when asked to leave the premises,’ came the reply.

  Ryan knew how easily money could be withdrawn from an account and how much more quickly it could disappear when it was held in the form of gaming chips. He wondered how much of their money he’d blown.

  Asking for more information, Ryan was put through to the head of security.

  ‘Oh yeah I remember him alright. He started off about five years ago as a regular player, didn’t raise any alarms, so we don’t know if he was winning or losing, but I suppose about two years ago he graduated to high-rollers and started putting down big bets – ten, twenty thousand per hit. He was always well dressed and we assumed he could afford it. We suspected right off the bat that he was counting cards but he actually seemed to blow more than he made, so we let it go for a while, but then he started drinking and he’d accuse us of rigging the decks, he’d turn into this psycho, anything from passive aggressive to totally out of control. Eventually it wasn’t worth it. We didn’t want to scare away the other patrons, so we put a ban on him.’

  So that was it. Ryan had to ask another question, more for his own interest. ‘Womaniser?’