Contrasting Lives

by Leah Dempster

  “Could my little girl have her photo taken with you?” A woman stood in front of Emily, holding the hand of a little girl who looked to be about eight years old. The girl was holding a floppy rabbit in one arm, and her head was wrapped in a turban, a certain sign she was being treated for some type of cancer.

  Emily smiled. “Absolutely. She waved to the little girl, beckoning her over and settled the young girl against her side, wrapping one arm around her. “Hi, I'm Emily. What's your name?”

  “Tonia,” the little girl said quietly.

  “Hi, Tonia. It's great to meet you.”

  “You have really big shoes,” Tonia said, staring at Emily's feet.

  “Yep, they're tricky to walk in, too.” Emily laughed, but the sound died in her throat when she glanced up and caught sight of a group of children standing beside Tonia's mother, waiting their turn to come and visit with her. Emily glanced around frantically, while she couldn't see Matt anywhere, she felt the panic rising up in her chest. She'd worried Matt might be here today, but it was a big fair, and she'd been certain she could avoid him if he did happen to attend. Now, seeing his children, she wished she hadn't come.

  “Smile!” Tonia's mom announced brightly and Emily pulled herself together enough to smile for the camera, even though she felt as if she was dying inside.

  Pressing a handful of candy into Tonia's hands, she kissed the little girl on the cheek and then squeezed her fake nose, creating a loud honk that had Tonia breaking into a grin. When the little girl rushed off to her mother, Emily slowly got back up to her feet, wondering if she could escape without making it obvious that she was too frightened to face Matt's kids. After the altercation she'd had with Courtney at Matt's father's birthday, Emily couldn't be certain of what reaction she would face from the girl today. She wasn't certain she had the courage to face her now and took an awkward step backwards, running straight in Bud.

  “Easy, Em,” Bud spoke to her as if she was a flighty foal and he handed her a balloon, which he'd manipulated into the shape of a dog. “Millie'll love that. Why don't you give it to her?”

  Emily swung her head sharply to stare at Bud, but he was already motioning her forward. With a suspicious glare, she manipulated the giant shoes to propel her a few more feet, and offered Millie a weak smile. “Hi, Millie.”

  To her surprise, the little girl wrapped her arms around her waist, nearly causing Emily to topple over on the wonky shoes. “I missed you,” Millie announced dramatically. “We wanted to see you in the hostipal, but Daddy said you were too sick for visitors.”

  “Hospital,” Harper corrected. She gave Emily a little wave. “Hi Emily, how are you?”

  Emily swallowed heavily, handing the balloon to Millie before she nodded. “I'm… better, thank you.”

  “Hey, Emily. It's great to see you again. Later on, we're going to play mini-golf. Do you know where it is?” Brandon asked.

  “Um,” Emily began, scanning the nearby area frantically for Matt.

  “He's not here right now,” Courtney said quietly and she offered Emily a little smile. “He knew you might not want to see him, so he stayed back a little, to give you some space.”

  Emily swallowed heavily. She wanted to run, but she could feel Bud at her back, his hand against her lower spine, the touch reassuring. “I see.”

  “Emily, Dad's really sorry about everything that happened. And so am I. I was,” Courtney rubbed her fingers together anxiously. “I was having a tough time dealing with mom's death, and I wasn't handling things very well. I'm sorry for what I said to you, and I'm sorry for the way I behaved.” She grimaced a little and rolled her eyes. “Mr. Warren says I was behaving as if Mom died deliberately, just to mess with my life. He says I need to be aware that everyone, including Dad lost Mom, and while it's natural to be sad, I need to show some support for my family and be part of their support network. I wasn't doing that when I met you, and I'm sorry I took my anger out on you.”

  Emily blinked. “Mr. Warren? Mark Warren?”

  “Yeah, he's my psych. You know him?”

  Emily grinned, relaxing incrementally. “Really tall, skinny man, looks like he's made of noodles?”

  Courtney grinned and pushed her hair back behind her ear. “Yeah. How do you know him?”

  “He saw me for a few weeks after…” Emily voice trailed off and she shivered.

  “The kidnapping.” Courtney finished the sentence for her and offered Emily a sympathetic smile. “Yeah, I bet that really messed with your head. That guy was evil.”

  Emily nodded. “Thank you, for helping me that day.”

  “You're welcome. I'm just sorry, because it was my fault you and Dad had fought.”

  Emily shook her head. “No, Courtney… it wasn't your fault. Your Dad and I… it just wasn't meant to be…”

  “I think your wrong, Em. I think we were meant to be, but we were both too frightened to follow through,” Matt said quietly.

  Hearing his voice made Emily jump and she instinctively stepped backwards searching for a way to escape. With Bud at her back, she had nowhere to go, and she was surprised when Courtney gripped her hand, squeezing her fingers. “Please, Emily. Just talk to Dad. Let him explain.”

  “Come on, kids. Let's leave your Dad and Em to chat and I'll take you guys down to the food stalls, we can grab a hot dog,” Bud announced. Emily didn't miss the wink he gave Matt as he herded the kids in front of him, and she had to wonder when Matt and Bud had spent enough time together to become friends. She began to smell a conspiracy.

  “Can we grab a coffee?” Matt questioned softly. Without waiting for a response, Matt took her hand in his and started leading her away, heading in the opposite direction to Bud and the children. Emily instantly found herself assaulted with a wave of emotions she had no control over, and she was totally overwhelmed by the feel of Matt's large hand, wrapped around her smaller one. Memories of their time together, of how wonderful he'd been, assaulted her as they walked.

  “You look beautiful,” Matt murmured quietly as he directed her towards a concession stand. “I've missed you. God, I can't tell you how much I've missed you.”

  Emily shivered and stumbled a little in the shoes, suddenly recalling how ridiculous she must look. She pulled the enormous glasses off her nose and tucked them down into the front of the ridiculous striped pants, suddenly self-conscious.

  “Relax, little subbie,” Matt commanded quietly. “We're just two adults, going to have a coffee and talk.”

  A shiver ran up Emily's spine, and she averted her eyes, trying to avoid looking at Matt. He was still so incredibly handsome, and she had missed him so much. She'd accepted weeks ago that she had fallen in love with him, but she'd never expected to see him again. Now, having his hand wrapped around hers, seeing the strength in his body as he casually guided her along, Emily knew she was lost. She would never stop loving this man, and couldn't imagine how she would survive the rest of her life without him. But that was exactly what she intended to do, no matter what arguments he put up today. She couldn't go through this again. Couldn't let Matt into her heart, only to have him thrust her aside when he realized again, how much baggage she came with.

  “Coffee?” he questioned when they reached the stand.

  She nodded, swallowing heavily as her mouth dried out. “Black, two sugars.”

  Matt ordered the coffees and then directed her towards a makeshift seating area to the left of the stand. He handed Emily her coffee and settled beside her on the wooden log. He kept an inch or two between them, but Emily could swear she could feel the heat radiating off his thigh, where it lay aligned besides her.

  “How have you been, Emily?” Matt asked after sipping his coffee for a minute or two. The silence had lulled Emily into a false sense of security and her hand trembled when she lifted her own cup to her lips.

  “Okay. Some days are better than others.”

  “I imagine.” Matt let his gaze wander over the nearby crowds and Emily ignored the urge to
peek at him while he wasn't looking. She kept her gaze lowered, focusing on the coffee cup resting between her hands.

  “Matt,” Emily began shakily, and settled the coffee onto the log beside her to avoid spilling it over her costume. “What happened with William… you should never have been placed in that position. It was my fault—”

  Matt frowned. “You gave Collado the key to my house and let him in?”

  “Well, no, not exactly…”

  “You told him where I lived?”

  Emily shook her head, frustrated by Matt's questioning. “No, of course not… but—”

  “I'm not seeing how any of it was your fault, Em,” Matt responded calmly. “You weren't responsible for that bastard making the choices he made.”

  “But by knowing me, it put you in danger. And your kids—”

  “The kids are fine,” Matt interrupted smoothly. “They bounced back within a few days—”

  Emily was growing frustrated. “Matt, I'm no good for you!”

  “By whose definition?”

  Emily wanted to throw her hands up in the air, but didn't want to make a scene in public. “By anyone's definition! Matt, you know what I am!”

  Matt glanced down at her, his brown eyes twinkling. “A clown?”

  “Don't be facetious.” Emily moved to stand up, but Matt caught hold of her arm. She struggled, determined to walk away but Matt spoke again.

  “Emily. Sit down. Please.”

  The tone in his voice dissolved her insides to a mushy pile of jello, and she knew she was lost. She needed to walk away, but she wasn't certain she could. She slumped down beside him, curving her shoulders in on herself miserably.

  “Now listen to me. I know what you are, Emily. I've always known what you are. You are a beautiful, kind hearted, generous and wonderful woman. And I'm in love with you. I have been, probably from the moment I first set eyes on you in that hotel room. I was just too stupid to realize it.”

  Emily had opened her mouth to argue, but she stopped, her eyes widening when she heard his confession.

  Matt decided to push the advantage while he had it. “I don't care what you did in the past; I only care about what you and I can do, together, in the future. I know what you did for a living and you know what? I don't care. I'm going to accept you and love you, every day for the rest of my life, if you'll let me, because you're incredibly special and I want to show you how special for the rest of our lives.”

  “But your family—”

  Matt pressed a finger to her lips, silencing her. “My kids think you're great. It'll take time, but they'll learn to love you, I'm certain of it.”

  Emily was already shaking her head before he'd finished the sentence and he threw her a warning frown, shaking his head infinitesimally. She was damn well going to listen to him this time, even if he had to tie her up to get her to listen. And judging by that look in her eyes, the necessity to tie her up was going to come sooner, rather than later. He had to admit to himself – he could hardly wait.

  “There's a lot more I need to say, and a lot more we need to discuss, but for now, I'm going to let you get back to work. I'll be at Salacious to pick you up, seven pm sharp. Don't try and back out of it, because Sally will kick your ass if you do.” Matt winked at her and leaned forward, plucking the big red nose from her face. “Promise me, you'll be there.”

  Wordlessly, with her eyes wide, Emily slowly nodded and Matt swept her into his arms. “Good answer, little subbie.” He brushed his lips over hers, and then drew her closer, claiming her mouth with his own. When he drew back, he was breathless and aroused. Matt settled her back onto the bench beside him and stood up. “Bud's waiting right over there for you,” Matt said with a grin. “And I'll see you tonight, seven sharp. I love you. Don't forget.”

  And with that, he strode away, leaving a very confused and frustrated Emily in his wake.

  * * *

  Chapter Twenty Six

  It was like déjà vu, Emily mused, as Bud escorted her out of Salacious and into the street at seven. She'd done this once before, and spent an amazing night with Matt. The same thing couldn't happen again tonight. Emily was determined to get Matt to see reason and tomorrow, she would fly back to New York and make some decisions about her future.

  Emily wasn't even certain why she'd agreed to Matt's request – other than the fact that she was apparently a masochist who insisted on creating more pain for herself. She was a bundle of nerves and rubbed her hands together nervously.

  “Relax, Em. You'll have fun, I'm certain. Matt's a great guy.”

  Emily glanced at Bud sharply. “Since when have you and Matt been such great buddies?”

  “Since we started running a security business together.” Bud looked down at her and laughed when he caught the shocked expression on her face. “Hey, the guy's an ex-cop. He knows some shit, I know some shit. When he got out of the police force, we got together and started a security company. We provide bodyguards to people, run security for events in the city, that sort of stuff.”

  “Your own business?” Emily said blankly. “What about being head of security of Salacious?” She wasn't certain why that was the information she'd hooked onto, rather than the fact that Matt had left the Seattle Police Department. She'd been jumpy and anxious all day, and now things had taken on a surreal note.

  “Yep, still doing that too. The only difference is, now security at Salacious comes under the banner of being handled by Pendleton & Spencer Security.”

  Emily stared at him for a long moment, as if trying to decide whether he was kidding or not. “Really?” she finally said.

  Bud grinned and directed her towards where Matt had just pulled up in his truck. “Really, kiddo. Now get in the damn car, go and sort out your problems with Matt, and let us all get on with our lives, okay?”

  Matt leaned across and pressed a gentle kiss to Emily's cheek, before he straightened up and pulled out into the street. “You look gorgeous, Emily.”

  Emily brushed at the sleeve of her jacket self-consciously. Since arriving back at Salacious after the fair, Emily had wavered between dressing up for tonight's date, and just throwing on anything. After all, she wasn't trying to impress Matt, and as she'd reminded herself a hundred times, this wasn't a date. This was two people getting together to finalize why they couldn't be together, and saying their goodbyes.

  Matt seemed happy to let Emily lapse into silence and he drove silently, pulling onto the highway and driving out towards the suburbs. It took nearly twenty minutes before Emily worked up the courage to speak and she swallowed heavily to overcome her dry mouth before she did. “Where are we going?”

  “There's a little restaurant I like, in Dawestown,” Matt said quietly. “They do great steak.”

  Emily stared out of the window for the rest of the trip. She thought of a million things to say, and discounted each and every one of them as being an unsuitable start to the conversation she and Matt needed to have. By the time they reached the restaurant, she was a nervous wreck and thought she might be sick.

  That sensation only worsened, when Matt led her into the restaurant and the maître-de escorted them to their table, where Emily was shocked to discover Matt's parents were waiting for them.

  “Emily, it's so good to see you again.” Clare Pendleton wrapped Emily in a warm hug and kissed her cheek. “How are you doing now? Have you fully recovered from what that horrible man did to you?”

  Emily found herself released from Clare's arms, and immediately wrapped in Jim Pendleton's, before she had an opportunity to respond. She accepted their hugs in shocked silence, settling uncomfortably into the chair Matt held out for her at the dimly lit table.

  Clare Pendleton sat to one side of Emily, Matt on the opposite side and Emily found herself facing Jim Pendleton across the table. This situation was surreal, and Emily wondered if she was dreaming. Surely, Matt hadn't decided it was a good idea for her to meet with his parents again. What was he thinking? They no doubt knew the enti
re sorry saga of her past, after what had happened with William and Emily couldn't imagine what Matt had said to them to get them to come along tonight.

  “Would you like wine, Emily?” Jim Pendleton was holding up a bottle and he raised an eyebrow at Emily, waiting for her response.

  “No, thank you,” Emily declined politely.

  “What would you like, sweetheart?” Matt asked quietly. “I can get you some lemonade? Or water?”

  She was touched that he'd remembered she liked lemonade and she agreed she'd enjoy a glass. She would need the sugar fix to survive tonight.

  “Matt wanted us to come along tonight, so we could ease your mind about how we feel about you, Emily,” Clare began, and Emily cringed, wondering what was coming.

  “I'll admit, we were initially a little shocked, but we can see how much Matty loves you,” Jim Pendleton added. He took a sip of his wine and smiled across the table at Emily. “You've had an unfortunate set of circumstances which have brought you to this point, Emily. Don't let what that man did to you; what your parents have done, cause you to avoid the opportunity to love. Don't let your past color your future.”

  Emily shook her head. “I don't think you understand…”

  Clare leaned across and placed her hand on Emily arm. “We do, Emily. We know everything and we still want you to be in Matt's life, if you'll consider it. Matt hasn't been the same since you left. We were so concerned about his state of mind after Caroline died, but things improved when you came into his life. Matt needs you, Emily. Just as I think you need him.”

  Emily squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. Could they really mean it? Did they know what she was, what she'd done and still accept her despite it? When she opened her eyes again, Matt was looking at her sympathetically and she felt his hand come to rest on her thigh.