Contrasting Lives

by Leah Dempster

  Dinner passed in a blur, with Emily alternating between the idea of being able to have this handsome man in her life, and warning herself it had no future. Jim and Clare Pendleton were pleasant and polite, asking Emily about her sister, her plans and discussing her life as if this was the first time they'd met. When dinner was finished, and they all made their way out to their cars, she was stunned when the Pendleton's wrapped her in more affectionate hugs and waved as they drove away.

  Matt helped Emily into the car, and leaned in to clip her seatbelt before he brushed a gentle kiss across her lips. “God, I've missed you,” he whispered against her mouth, before he withdrew and hurried around to the other side of the car.

  Emily scolded herself for allowing him to kiss her again. She'd regretted the kiss at the fair this morning, now she'd allowed him to do it again, and she mentally castigated herself for being so weak-willed. She should be telling him to take her home, and saying her final goodbyes.

  It took her twenty minutes to realize Matt wasn't driving towards Salacious. “Where are we going?”

  “My place.”

  Panic settled in Emily's chest and she clenched her fingers together. “I think you should take me back to Salacious.”

  Matt pulled over on the side of the road for a moment. “Is that what you really want?”

  Emily's eyes filled with tears. “Yes.” She shook her head. “No.” Desperately, she dropped her head into her hands. “I don't know.”

  “Come to my place, we'll sit and have a coffee, and talk. If you decide after that you want me to take you back to Salacious, I will,” Matt responded quietly.

  “Matt, we can't go to your house, what about your kids?”

  Matt smiled warmly. “The kids are at my sister's for the night.” He paused, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. “I mean it, Em. Coffee and talk, if that's all you want. And if you decide then you don't want to be with me, we call it quits.”

  For long seconds, Emily remained silent, worrying at her lower lip as she considered. “Okay,” she finally agreed.

  ≈≈◊◊≈◊◊≈≈

  Matt led Emily up the stairs to his front door, watching her carefully for her reaction. He'd considered leaving after what happened here three months ago – only his love for the house and the kids' unanimous agreement that they wanted to stay had kept him here. When he opened the door, she shivered uncertainly and he ushered her inside, quickly turning on the light. He'd left a small lamp on in the living room; he could tell by Emily's reaction that it wasn't enough.

  He'd thought long and hard about tonight, and whether bringing Emily back here after the events of that June morning was wise. But he'd decided that to move forward they both had to face the past, in more ways than one. Emily needed to face her demons, and Matt knew he needed to put a few of his own to bed.

  “The kitchen's through this way,” Matt said, taking control of the situation and clasping Emily's hand in his. Her eyes widened as her gaze fell on the beam that Collado had attached her to, and Matt knew she must have been remembering the agony she'd been subjected to in this very room. But it looked very different now, Matt had made certain of it. He'd had the carpeting ripped up, removed the bloodstained evidence of Collado's brutality, and replaced the carpet with polished oak floorboards. The evidence of where the meat hook had kept Emily restrained was gone – the hook removed, the beam repaired and Matt had painted the entire room in a soothing coffee shade that Courtney had selected.

  In the kitchen, Matt put on the kettle and pulled mugs out of the cupboard, inviting Emily to sit at the breakfast bar. He was pleased when she began to look around curiously, taking in the warm tones of the paintwork, the carved oak benches, and the copper saucepans that hung from the latticework above the bench. “This is a nice kitchen,” she remarked quietly.

  “Thank you. Caroline designed it; I haven't made any changes to her original plans. She loved baking.” He was delighted that Emily had opened the conversation, but he knew he still had an uphill battle to keep her here in Seattle. While she'd eventually relaxed at dinner with his parents, she still looked remarkably like a deer caught in the headlights. She was skittish, nervous and obviously struggling against her fight or flight response with everything she had. Matt was actually impressed, he hadn't expected to make it this far with her, not without a major battle on his hands. She'd been compliant, but Matt knew it was an illusion, that he was only hanging on to her with a wing and a prayer. He hadn't yet convinced her that he meant to keep her in his life permanently, that he was in this for the long haul. Peeking at her as she surveyed the kitchen, his heart swelled. God, how he loved her. If only he could convince her of that fact tonight, he'd be a very happy man.

  He made the coffee and gestured towards the living room. “Would you like to sit down on the couch, or are you happy here.”

  She shivered. “I like it here.”

  “Sure.” Matt settled at the breakfast bar beside Emily and blew on his coffee. “I imagine the living room will be tough for you to spend any time in for a little while.”

  Emily's breath caught in her throat, he heard it before she spoke. “Matt, I won't be coming back here again.”

  “I think you will, Emily. Or have you already forgotten I told you I loved you?”

  She blushed furiously, and lowered her gaze to her cup. “I… I haven't forgotten.”

  Matt leaned across and nudged her shoulder with his own. “I hope not. I've been waiting quite a while to tell you how I felt.”

  “It doesn't make any difference,” Emily added miserably. “I'm not the right woman for you.”

  Matt smiled softly. “How about you let me be the judge of that, sweetheart?”

  Emily shook her head infinitesimally. “Matt, you said it yourself.”

  Matt lifted an eyebrow. “I've said a lot of things, and some fucking stupid things. I'm pretty certain what you're alluding to is the idiotic things I said to you, when I was out of my mind with jealousy because I thought you'd gone out with Henry Austin.”

  Emily's eyes widened. “You've… how do you know…”

  Matt put his cup down and leaned forward to press a kiss to Emily's temple. “Because the night Paul telephoned to see if I'd heard from you, he set me straight on a few things. He told me what a fool I'd been, and that if I didn't get my shit together, I'd lose you forever.” Matt inhaled heavily. “Let's get some stuff out on the table here. I need you to drop some of this baggage you're carrying around, before it destroys us.”

  “There is no us,” Emily countered.

  “There damn well is an 'us', and don't you forget it, young lady.” Matt turned on the stool so he could watch Emily before he spoke again. “I love you, Emily. I want to spend the rest of our lives together. I don't intend to have you leave me again, and I'm fucking certain I'm not leaving you. Not now, not tonight, not ever.”

  “Matt, please,” Emily begged, with tears in her eyes. “What we had… what we shared. Ultimately it was just sex.”

  “I don't believe that for a minute.”

  “It was… it is…” Emily protested weakly.

  “I'll be the first to admit, the sex is abso-fucking-lutely amazing – but that's not why I want to be with you, Em,” Matt protested quietly. “Remember all those conversations we had? Remember sitting out by the shoreline after our first dinner together? Remember the way we talked and laughed together on that bench in the park?”

  “But it led to sex,” Emily said quietly. “Each time.”

  “And why wouldn't it?” Matt countered, equally quietly. “You are a beautiful woman, Emily. Any man would love to be with you, and you know what, I'm counting myself lucky that you chose to spend time with me. That I was the one and only man you agreed to make love with, without protection. Do you know what an honor it was, to hear you admit that?”

  Emily shook her head, her throat swollen and tight.

  “And that's what it was, Em. That's what it's always been with you and me.
Making love. Not sex. Not fucking. We've made love to each other, every time.” Matt moved closer and entwined his fingers through Emily's, pleased when she didn't resist. “I love you. I love that you didn't get fazed by the fact that I've got four kids. I love that you took my kids bowling, even though I'd been an ass and frozen you out. I love that you sat with my daughter, and discussed candy decorations over my Dad's birthday cake. I love that despite everything, despite what happened to you here – you had the courage to come back here with me tonight.” He leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss on Emily's cheek. “Stay with me tonight. Please.”

  Seeing Emily begin to shake her head, Matt was quick to reassure her. “I give you my word, Em. No sex. No domination. Just a man, who loves his beautiful woman, very much. A man who wants to hold her in his arms and keep her safe from danger. A man who wants to wake up in the morning, staring into the face of the woman he wants to wake up beside every morning, for the rest of his life.”

  Matt held his breath, as he watched Emily waver over the decision. God, how he wanted to beg her to stay, beg her to let him love her. But he knew, in this crucial moment, it had to be Emily's decision. The relief swamped him when she nodded infinitesimally, offered him a ghost of a smile.

  Abandoning the coffee, Matt drew her into his arms and kissed her, keeping the kiss gentle and not overwhelming her, even though he wanted nothing more than to take her, possess her, and mark her as his. He drew back and smiled down at her warmly as he took her hand in his, drawing her down the hallway towards his bedroom.

  She stood awkwardly in the doorway, resisting his attempts to get her to step foot in the bedroom, and stared up at him, her eyes wide.

  “Have you changed your mind?” he asked softly. If she had, the blow would nearly crush him, but he'd sworn to make this about Emily. About what she needed, to grow comfortable with being with him. She'd been badly hurt, beaten, traumatized and disappointed in the past. Matt had sworn to himself that situation would stop and from now on, she'd be treated with nothing but respect. He'd laid his own demons about Emily's past to rest– now he needed to prove to Emily that he wouldn't run again.

  She shook her head, and her gaze darted towards the bed. “Your bedroom…” She colored beautifully in the lamplight. “Caroline…”

  Suddenly, he knew what she was alluding to and shook his head, holding back a smile. Still worrying endlessly about others – it was one of the things he most loved about his Emily. His Emily. God, how he loved the sound of that, the possession, the knowledge that she was his to treasure. He hoped. “Sweetheart, it's okay. I replaced everything in here.” Matt glanced around the room at the new furniture he'd bought a few months ago. He'd gotten rid of everything in the bedroom, started with a blank slate. With Emily firmly in mind, he'd chosen the furniture to suit her, starting with the gorgeous carved antique mahogany furniture, and finishing with the hand hooked rugs on the floor, and the beautiful patchwork quilt on the bed, which Grandma Irene had given him. The simplicity and charm of it made him think of Emily, and he'd finished off the room with two antique lamps, which he'd left on before going to collect Emily for dinner.

  He watched as Emily crossed the room slowly, trailed her fingers across the quilt. “This is beautiful.”

  Matt stepped lightly across the floor, placing his hands on her shoulder. “Grandma Louise gave it to me; she thought you'd like it.”

  Emily turned her head and Matt tamped down the desire to kiss her again, giving her time to acclimatize to the room and the newness of being with him. He was thrilled when she smiled. “That was very kind of her.”

  Matt drew her into his arms, grateful when she didn't resist, and even more thrilled when she tipped her face up towards his and her blue eyes sparkled in the soft lamplight.

  “I love you, Matt. I think I always have.”

  Matt lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her gently, tasting the salt of her tears as she began to cry. He lifted her into his arms and laid her onto the bed, toeing off his shoes before he joined her and wrapped her in his arms.

  “I love you, sweetheart. And I'm going to keep you safe, forever.”

  The End

  Dear reader,

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