by Joy Elbel
“It’s still your gift—we just want you to share it with him. You didn’t want to do anything fun on your birthday so we want you to celebrate yours with his. There’s still something left for you to do—have fun with Zach at the dinner.” She smiled as she said it, like it was obvious what I should do.
“Thanks…but, why are you guys really doing this for me? It has nothing to do with my birthday, does it?” Take that Shelly—you’re not the only detective in the family anymore!
The look on her face said it all—she knew she was busted. “Because we both think he’s a nice boy and he makes you so happy. All we want is for you to be happy. You’ve had a rough year—it’s nice to see you smiling again. Just seeing you guys together reminds us of our first loves. It’s a wonderful feeling, isn’t it?”
Stunned, I merely nodded my head in agreement. How could Shelly tell that my feelings for Zach went far deeper than anything I’d ever felt for Lee? Was it really that obvious? If my dad even noticed…. He never noticed anything. Wake up call. What I felt for Zach was the real thing. I was head over heels in love with him. Lee had to go away. Now.
My next tactic was to start the space clearing activity. If I broke the mansion down into smaller areas, I could do one area every night until I had the entire house covered. I started in the conservatory and worked my way forward on the first floor, going room by room clapping and stomping my feet in every corner and closet. When I got to Shelly’s study, I had to be more creative. As she sat at the desk, I paced the floor stopping in every corner to loudly ask her whatever dumb questions I could think of in an effort to make noise. When she asked why I was talking so loud, I opened the closet door and shouted back that my ears were plugged. She gave me a weird look then suggested that I ask my father for some medical advice. Once that wing of the house was covered, I went upstairs for my nightly call from Zach.
We talked for hours again that night. He shared all of the moments of his day and I shared almost all of mine. We talked about normal things like our favorite movies and books—things we hadn’t had a chance to share yet in the midst of all the drama. We talked about what we wanted to do after we graduated. I told him about the pressure my dad put on me to be a doctor but that what I really wanted to do was be a writer. He talked about wanting to be a veterinarian and how math gave him nightmares. I laughed and told him I’d been having bad dreams about phys ed since I was in elementary school. With him being two hundred miles away and the physical attraction angle of our relationship at bay, I discovered that I didn’t just love him—I really liked him, too.
He waited until the end of the conversation to ask me if I was still safe and I answered affirmatively and without hesitation because I was certain that by the time he got back, I would be. We both said goodnight and ended the conversation. Because I promised Zach that I would play the CD, I listened to a few songs then turned it off before I got into bed. There was no way I was going to listen to Cold Eternal tonight, awake or asleep. I settled myself under the covers only to crawl back out a minute later. I unplugged the CD player just in case, left the light on and got back into bed. I received my nightly ‘mwah’ and closed my eyes with a feeling that everything was going to be okay.
I was deep inside a wonderful dream of Zach when the crashing sound of broken glass shattered the stillness of my sleep. I bolted from my bed fearful of being bound to it again. A searing pain ripped through my bare foot as I was about to open my bedroom door. Looking down, I found the mirror I placed on my bedroom door crushed and spilling tiny, silvery shards onto the floor. And it was still facing toward the door. Diet soda in hand, I once again returned to the conservatory where I stayed awake the rest of the night. With the help of a few bandages and gallons of caffeine, I lived to see another sunrise.
Every day for the rest of those two weeks was the same. I got very little sleep and watched my attempts to rid myself of Lee fall apart in front of my eyes. The only bonus was that the incense did make the house smell good. Sometimes you just have to make a bright side even when there really isn’t one. You know, sew an aluminum foil lining to that pesky black cloud every now and again. But I was thoroughly exhausted and it was starting to show. I spent each morning cleaning up whatever was broken the night before, positive that tiny pieces of my shattered sanity were among the debris. My eyes were glazed and dark circles hung low beneath them. Zach would be home tomorrow and I was a complete wreck. The damage was nothing that one good night’s sleep couldn’t fix, though, so I finally broke down and went to Shelly for help.
She was seated at the desk in her study as usual. I slipped through the open door and sat down on the couch. “Shelly?”
She looked up from her laptop and sighed. “You look like you haven’t slept a wink since Zach left. I know you miss him but he’ll be back tomorrow. You have to get some rest before the cookout tomorrow night.”
“Yeah, about that—I was wondering if I could possibly get one of your sleeping pills for tonight. I promise after that I’ll be able to get some sleep.” Of course, I knew no such thing but if she thought Zach’s absence was the cause of my insomnia, I was sure she would buy it.
“Well…I don’t know….” She was using the same tone of voice she always used just before she said no, so I thought that was it. Then she took another look at the face ravaged by lack of sleep and she changed her mind.
“Okay, just this once though. God, I hope this boy never goes on vacation again!” She reached into the top drawer of her desk and tossed me a bottle. “One should do it.”
“Thanks,” I said as I dug out one small, blue elliptical shaped pill and chucked the bottle back to her.
“Take it about thirty minutes before you lay down. You’ll sleep like a baby. Don’t forget—we’re shopping for the cookout tomorrow, too.”
“Okay, thanks again.” I tucked the pill into my pocket sure that all of the smashed mirrors in the world wouldn’t wake me tonight.
Waiting for my nightly phone call from Zach was just plain torture but I clung to the fact that I would finally be with him again in less than twenty four hours. The Masons would be back in Charlotte’s Grove by late afternoon and at Rosewood by seven. They packed a lot of activities into their last full day there, so he sounded just as tired as I felt. Our conversation was shorter than any of the others—the sooner we went to bed, the sooner we would be together again we both agreed. I hadn’t played the CD in over a week but Zach could never know that. I pushed play long enough for him to hear the first few bars of music before we hung up. We said our goodnights and I popped the pill into my mouth. I washed it down with diet soda, unplugged the CD player, and got ready for bed. We texted our goodnight mwahs and I turned my phone off. I lay in bed thinking while I waited for the pill to take effect. I wasn’t just prepared to tell Zach the truth about Lee—I was actually looking forward to it. Once it was over, there wouldn’t be any more secrets or lies between us. Curling up with the teddy bear, I fell asleep with a smile on my face.
I woke up confused and disoriented from the sleeping pill. The room was frosty cold and a foggy haze seemed to fill the room. Something bad was about to happen. I sat straight up in the bed, my spine flattened tensely against the headboard. I didn’t know if it would follow me but I was going to do the smart thing this time—I was going to run. But not without forming a quick plan first. I slid my legs slowly over the side of the bed, waiting to feel the floor beneath my feet. As soon as my feet connected with the hard wood, I would propel myself forward and out the door. That moment never came. A hand shot out of the murky darkness and closed around my throat. Forcefully, it flung me into the wall above my bed, dragging me up until my head hit the ceiling. A sick gurgling sound rose from my throat. I couldn’t breathe—I just hung there with my feet kicking at the wall in mortal panic. My hearing became muffled, my vision hazy. Just as I was about to pass out, it released its grip, sending me crashing to the bed.
My throat throbbed with pain as I lay there choking and
gasping for air. Once I caught my breath, I tried to stand. Knees wobbly, body shaking, I took one step and something snatched me from behind and tossed me full throttle into the wall. The vaporous hand clutched me by the throat and dragged me slowly toward the ceiling again. I clawed frantically at my throat, trying to release its grip but my nails cut into my own flesh instead. The hand that held me so tightly had no substance—it was like trying to seize a handful of smoke. Stars danced inside my eyes as I started to lose consciousness. This time I didn’t fight it. Everything went black as I slumped to the bed.
Sunlight crept into the room, flicking at the corners of my eyelids until I finally opened them. I felt like crap but I was still alive. Painfully, I dragged myself to the bathroom to survey the damage. There wasn’t a single spot on my body that didn’t hurt in one way or another—there was no way there wouldn’t be visible signs of the attack this time. I knew it would be bad but I wasn’t prepared for what looked back at me from the mirror.
My neck was stained with deep bruises in the shape of a hand. Four ragged claw marks ran down into the hollow of my throat. I remembered the pain as my fingers dug into my own flesh, flesh that was still caked under my bloody and broken nails. I undressed fully and found random bruising on my arms, legs and back as well. I was a hot mess. And at the worst possible time too—Zach would be knocking on the door in about nine hours. He couldn’t see the damage until after I told him the truth. If he saw any sign of it before I had a chance to explain, he would jump to the wrong conclusion. Again.
I showered gingerly then rooted through my closet for an outfit that would conceal the multitude of black and blue marks. I was planning to wear the cute new denim shorts I bought when Shelly and I went shopping but a mark about six inches above my knee made that impossible. I pulled on a pair of capris instead then when back to find a top. I could wear something with a three-quarter length sleeve but no matter what I put on, my neck was always exposed. A turtleneck in July would be a dead giveaway. As I dug, I found the perfect solution—a scarf! I pulled out a red fringed scarf and whipped it around my neck, rock star style. It worked perfectly. I layered a black tank over a red one and with one look in the mirror; I nearly convinced myself that everything was fine.
I fed Mimi and Coco their breakfast, amazed that they didn’t seem to be affected by what was happening here. Thank goodness. If anything were to happen to them, I would never forgive myself. I patted their tiny heads and went downstairs.
What I needed to do was find a way to keep myself occupied. Reading was a perfect way to waste time so I picked up a copy of Shelly’s first Cinnamon Jones mystery novel while waiting for her to go shopping. I always thought her books were stupid and never bothered reading any of them. Boy was I wrong—I was engrossed from page one. It was so good that I vowed to make time to read the whole series.
Once the shopping was done, we returned home with one hour to spare before our guests arrived. Only one more hour without Zach. I planned to take him for a walk after we ate so I could tell him the truth. It was finally time to trust him with the worst secret of my life.
16. Grave Misunderstandings
Zach shot me a text just as they left their house. Knowing it would only take a few minutes for them to arrive, I went outside eager to see his face as soon as possible. Dad already had the grill going and Shelly was busy carrying everything from the kitchen to the back patio. I watched excitedly as three cars made their way down the oak lined drive to the mansion. Zach was first and clearly in a hurry to get here. Rachel and Boone came next, followed by Garrett and Diane.
Zach barely had the car in park but I was already at his door waiting. He stepped out of the car more tanned than when I last saw him but every bit as hot. He wrapped his arms around me and whispered, “God, I’ve missed you,” into my ear. He gripped me where I was bruised and it hurt but I wouldn’t flinch. I wouldn’t let him find out that way again.
I hugged him back enthusiastically. “I missed you, too.” I wanted to be alone with him to tell him everything but I had to wait for the right moment.
“There’s so much I want to say to you.” He took my face in his hands and stared into my eyes. “But I’ll start with this—mwah!”
The beauty of his face was overwhelming. When I looked into the liquid blue of his eyes, I knew that telling him the truth about Lee was the right decision. Once he knew, everything would be okay.
“Mwah!” I replied, and leaned in close to him.
Just as we were about to kiss, Rachel bounced up to us. “Careful, Mom and Dad are watching.” She was right, of course, but it didn’t make it any easier for us to pull back and behave ourselves.
“Later,” Zach whispered as his parents came into view. When he smiled and winked at me, my stomach filled instantly with butterflies. It didn’t matter how many times I saw him because every time felt like the first.
Shelly came to greet everyone and ushered them around back to where Dad was busy flipping the burgers. Garrett strolled up to the grill and offered his assistance which my dad gladly accepted. Diane followed Shelly into the kitchen to help grab the last few things as the rest of us gathered around the table. Zach scooped up my hand and slid it under the table with his. After two weeks without him, I felt nervous again like it was the first time he’d held my hand. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him and he seemed to be having the same difficulty taking his from me. He was the one—I felt it in my heart. I wanted to share every part of me with him. But before we could share any more of the good things, we would have to share the worst.
The picnic was amazing. Andy wasn’t able to make it but Dad and Garrett were old friends and Shelly and Diane acted as though they were, too. Rachel and Boone were as happy to see each other as Zach and I were. It was the best night I could remember spending with my family. My family. It was the first time I ever considered Shelly as anything more than just someone my dad married. And even though I barely knew them, the Masons all felt like family too. We ate until we were ready to burst. Even Boone had to say no to one more hotdog. The weather was perfect—hot but with low humidity. It hadn’t rained in weeks and the sky showed no sign of ending that streak. A light breeze and the sound of crickets made it a flawless summer night. It was the kind of night where nothing could go wrong.
Just after nine, everyone started to go their separate ways. Dad and Garrett went inside to play pool. Diane talked at length about gardening so Shelly took her to see the conservatory. Rachel and Boone said their goodbyes and left for Boone’s house. Zach informed me that Boone’s parents were out of town for the night so I could only imagine what they were going to do there. I decided that I should give Zach his birthday present early so he would have enough time to prepare for the dinner. I made him wait for me on the patio and I ran up three flights of stairs to the attic to grab the tickets. When I returned a moment later, Zach gave me a funny look.
“Wow, that was fast. Too fast, actually. I was hoping you’d be gone a little longer. I don’t suppose I could talk you into going away for a few more minutes, could I?”
What was that supposed to mean? How was I supposed to respond? Suddenly, I felt awkward and began to question whether or not tickets for the fundraiser were such a good idea after all. Had I misread his signals? Was I mistaken about the kind of relationship we had? Confused and hurt, I quietly turned and started walking back into the mansion. I was about two seconds away from crying.
“Ruby, wait! I didn’t mean it like that!” Zach called after me. “Come back!”
First he asked me to go away, now he was begging me to stay. He really needed to make up his mind. Boys. Are. Frustrating. He was giving me a serious case of emotional whiplash. I turned back around half expecting him to change his mind yet again.
But instead, I saw there was now a small box wrapped in silver paper and tied with a blue bow sitting on the table in front of him. Instant relief. When Lee and I were together, never once did I fear that he would break up with me. We had some
sort of unspoken vow that we would be together forever. With Zach, though, that fear was never far from the surface. There was always that tiny voice in the back of my mind telling me it was bound to end eventually. Nothing this amazing could last for long. But all that mattered for now was that it wasn’t ending tonight.
“What’s this?” I asked as I sat down at the table beside him.
“Just something I found while I was in Erie. As soon as I saw it, I thought of you.” He smiled and handed me the package.
“Oh Zach, you didn’t have to get me anything! Just having you home is enough of a present for me.”
“I didn’t do it because I had to—I did it because I wanted to. I just wanted to give you something to let you know that all I did was while I was gone was think about you.”
“You’re the best boyfriend ever, do you know that?” I said as I threw my arms around him and squeezed hard. Leaning my head on his shoulder, I lingered there enjoying the feel of his body next to mine.
“Only because I have the best girlfriend ever,” he whispered back. How did he always know the perfect thing to say? I was the luckiest girl in the world. Or I would be once my secret was out in the open.
He was about to kiss me when the sound of his mother’s voice floated toward us from the rose garden. Instead, he raised my hand to his lips and kissed it gently, never taking his eyes away from mine as he did it. I didn’t want to break the mood but I couldn’t wait a second longer to see his reaction to my gift that I slid the envelope across the table to him.
“I’ll open mine after you open yours.”
He stared at the envelope. “What’s this?”
“This is your birthday present. I have to give it to you early so you have enough time to prepare.”
Curiously, he asked, “Prepare?” He picked up the envelope and held it to the light, trying to discern its contents before opening it.