Brace for Impact

by Becky Harmon

  “I had to have one last doughnut. Strawberry and cream filling together is heavenly.”

  “I remember from yesterday. Did you get one for me too?”

  “I did, but you should eat it now. It might be hard to enjoy while you’re driving.”

  Dex pulled the doughnut partially from the bag and bit into it. Lucy was right; it was heavenly. She didn’t normally eat sweet things and certainly not doughnuts, but she was stuffing the last bite into her mouth when Lucy pulled up beside her.

  Rolling down the window, Lucy called to her, “I got directions from the valet so follow me.”

  She didn’t give Dex a chance to respond, not that she could have with her mouth still full of doughnut. She followed Lucy out of the parking garage and down the main street. The rental car office was a small glass building hidden behind a brick five-story building that fronted the main street. Luckily they had a sign on the street or maybe the valet had explained to Lucy how to find them. A few minutes later, Lucy slid into the passenger seat beside her.

  “That was easy enough,” Lucy said as she buckled her seat belt.

  “Good. Sometimes they can give you a fit about returning somewhere other than where you rented.”

  “He said normally people do one way from here to the airport so they lose a lot of their vehicles. He seemed happy that I was leaving mine.” She paused for a second. “So what did you fly in the military?”

  Dex took a deep breath to settle her own nerves before answering. This wasn’t the conversation she had planned for their drive back. Talking about her past wouldn’t make for a relaxing time for her. If she could keep it to general answers, though, she wouldn’t have to share the worst of it. “I started with helicopters and then moved to fixed wing.”

  “Army, right?” She continued when Dex nodded. “I didn’t think they had anything but choppers.”

  “That’s what army pilots are trained to fly, but they have a few fixed wing for moving supplies and troops.”

  “Tell me a funny army story.”

  Dex’s mind raced. Did she have a funny story? There had been so much death and dying sometimes she couldn’t see past it. She had laughed during her tours, but army humor wasn’t necessarily something a civilian would find funny. Soldiers found humor in things others wouldn’t. Like the time she slept outside. It was supposed to be a short-term prank to lock her out of her sleeping compartment, but then her friends were called away on an urgent mission. She could have asked to borrow someone else’s bed, but it was easier to find a shady spot and wait it out. No one on the outside would find that story funny. They would only feel sorry for her. Sometimes pranks were the only thing that broke up the monotony of war.

  Lucy glanced at her. “Come on. You have to have at least one funny story.”

  “Okay.” Dex sighed, wishing she could think of something that was funnier than this story. “My first week in Afghanistan I was sent to pick up soldiers at an FOB. That’s a forward operating base. Pilots seldom fly by landmarks. Especially in new terrain. They rely on their instruments for direction, so I was surprised when another pilot told me to make a right after the first mountain. I didn’t, of course. I followed my navigation system. As a result, I ended up touching down outside a small Afghan village instead of the FOB. It took about two seconds for all the kids to come running. My co-pilot thought it was hilarious since all new pilots were given the same initiation.”

  “So the village was safe?” Lucy asked.

  “Oh yeah. Our security patrols made regular checks since we had relocated an orphanage there. The kids knew the sound of the chopper meant snacks and fun stuff.”

  “Fun stuff?”

  “Little pocket flashlights were the best. It was one of those items that everyone carries and care packages from home usually contain a couple. My co-pilot had stashed a box of goodies for the kids before we made the flight.”

  “So why the navigational screwup?”

  “I’m not really sure. Some guess there’s a magnetic field or something like that, but it could be the high elevation or the terrain. If you make the right turn at the first mountain then your nav system will lead you straight into the FOB. We never lost a chopper because of it, so no effort was spent on trying to figure out why.”

  Lucy nodded. “That’s kind of a sweet story. The kids probably didn’t have a lot to look forward to and you guys were like Santa for them.”

  Dex sighed. “I know that wasn’t the best funny story. Military humor doesn’t always translate back to civilian life.”

  “I know what you mean. Every job has its own language.”

  “So tell me your funny story.”

  Lucy groaned. “We aren’t funny in the Federal Air Marshal Service.”

  “That’s funny.” Dex laughed. “Okay then, tell me your initiation story.”

  “Probably the best story is from passenger rescue. The training is mostly serious, but everyone is a little pissy after the first day at the pistol range. Too many egos. So the instructors started doing the chemical training then too. ‘Let’s make everyone a little more miserable.’” Lucy shrugged. “So the mission was to find the protective mask and then rescue the passenger. Sounds easy, right?”

  She nodded to let Lucy know she was listening. It was possible these were the most words she had heard Lucy say at one time. She wasn’t going to ruin it by mentioning that, though.

  Lucy continued, “The trainees started adding a practical joke to the training—leaving the trainee with the highest pistol range score to carry out the passenger on their own. Of course, they added a few more ten-pound weights to his body for me.”

  She laughed. “So, you had the highest score at the pistol range?”

  “Apparently. I didn’t really think about it until after the practical joke. I didn’t care about being the best in the class. Only the best I could be.”

  Lucy’s words rang in her head. Only the best I could be. She tried to imagine a younger Lucy struggling with the loss of her father and finding purpose in a lifelong career. Getting Lucy to talk about her life was like pulling teeth. Unfortunately, for now, she could tell Lucy was finished talking. Her head was resting against the back of the seat and her eyes were closed.

  She knew she was in for some teasing from Deidra when she admitted to where she had been and who she was with. She knew she also should have called her to explain why she wouldn’t be around for dinner today. She certainly didn’t want to call her in front of Lucy, though. Deidra would push and push until she told her everything.

  Deidra would be disappointed that she wasn’t there, even though there was a good chance their father wouldn’t be able to attend dinner today either. She would have to make an effort to make it up to her. Deidra had gotten used to Sunday afternoon visits with their dad and it would be hard for her when he was gone. It would be hard on the whole family. She wasn’t sure she could throw herself into work like she had when her mother passed. At least she wasn’t alone. She had Deidra and her family.

  * * *

  “I could use a bathroom break, if you know of anywhere to stop,” Lucy suggested, straightening in her seat. “And a stretch.”

  She hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but she had closed her eyes for too long and it just happened. Sometime during the drive, Dex had turned on the radio and soft music was streaming from the speakers. Maybe James Taylor. She wasn’t really sure. It didn’t matter. It was soothing.

  “There’s a rest stop not too much farther,” Dex said, interrupting her thoughts. “It’s a great place for a snack too.”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  She hadn’t thought about food, but now the mention of it made her hungry. She rested her head against the back of the seat again. She appreciated that Dex didn’t feel the need to force conversation. She could imagine them traveling to other places together. Without any stress or anxiety.

  Her head was a jumble of thoughts. She was surprised, but glad Dex had shown up at her door last night. S
he couldn’t identify the feelings she was having. Were they dating now? How was she supposed to behave in a relationship? Was she supposed to put her hand on Dex’s thigh while she drove? She liked that idea, but what would Dex think?

  Before she had time to consider moving her hand to Dex’s thigh, Dex was pulling off the QEW and into a parking lot. There was one tan building built almost in a circle with blue and white trim awnings and a matching roof. A center peak with glass windows gave it a slight lighthouse look, though it was certainly not as high as a lighthouse would be. A small blue sign at the entrance said Gateway to Niagara.

  She followed Dex inside to a mini food court. Dex stopped there and pointed toward the restrooms. As she scurried toward the women’s room, she hoped Dex would order some of whatever she was buying for her too. She hadn’t realized how hungry she really was until she smelled the food.

  When she returned, she was pleased to find Dex holding two containers full of what she initially decided were french fries. Looking closer, she saw some sort of concoction covering the fries. She frowned.

  “What is this?”

  “Poutine.”

  She pushed the container back toward Dex. “Can I get plain fries, please?”

  Dex laughed. “Okay, but at least try it first.”

  Try it? She wasn’t a child. She didn’t have to try everything. She looked at Dex’s expectant face and felt her resistance fade. For Dex, she was willing to try it. She lifted the fork and dug out the fry that was covered the least. The gravy was light and creamy, not at all heavy like you would find on a pot roast. Or maybe that was the melting cheese. Either way, it was delicious.

  Dex laughed when she took the dish back and dug her fork in again.

  “Better than it looks?”

  She grunted a response in Dex’s direction without losing focus on the small dish. Her second bite had more gravy and cheese on the fry. She could taste the melting cheese and the meaty taste of the gravy. Dex steered her toward the car as they continued to eat. It didn’t take her long to devour the entire dish, and she glanced longingly at what was left of Dex’s container. As Dex slid behind the wheel, she handed her the dish.

  “Go ahead and finish it.”

  “Thanks,” she said with her mouth already full. She tried to savor the last bites, but it was gone so fast. She stacked the dishes together and set them on the floor of the car before glancing at Dex. “Okay, tell me what I just ate.”

  “Does it matter? It was good, right?”

  “Oh, man, it was something disgusting, wasn’t it? Am I going to puke?”

  “Like I said, it’s called poutine. Homemade french fries covered with cheese curds and a vegetarian gravy. It’s nothing repulsive.”

  Lucy looked at the containers on the floor and read the writing on the side aloud. “NYF?”

  “New York Fries. They make the best poutine in Canada. Other restaurants make an expensive version, but this is a fast food version. Fresh Quebec cheese curds and a trans-fat free gravy. See? It’s almost healthy.”

  Lucy picked up her phone, opening an Internet search engine, and searched for New York Fries. “Okay, but I think healthy is a stretch. I won’t complain, though, after the doughnut I fed you this morning. Wait…New York Fries is not in New York or even in the United States. That seems so wrong.”

  “They’re only in Canada, I think.”

  “No, there’s some in China, Egypt, Turkey, and a bunch in Saudi Arabia, but not a single one in the US.”

  Dex’s phone rang and she looked apologetically at Lucy before swiping to take the call.

  “Hello…I’m sorry, I saw you called but haven’t had a chance to call you back…I’m not in Toronto…Can I call you later?”

  Lucy waited silently, trying not to listen to Dex’s side of the conversation. It sounded like an upset girlfriend, but surely Dex wouldn’t have answered the call in front of her if that was the case.

  “Okay…I’ll call you in a few hours…Love you too.”

  She glanced at the now silent phone lying in the middle console and then at Dex. “Girlfriend?”

  Dex’s head whipped toward her and then back to the road. “No! Absolutely not. Family.”

  “Oh, same demands sometimes.”

  “Sometimes worse. My sister has perfected her ability to make me feel guilty. Been working on it for years.”

  Lucy wanted to ask more, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to know either. Learning about each other’s families would bring them even closer, and she was already second-guessing her feelings from earlier. They had left the resort and were now back in the real world. She needed to gain her resistance back. Dex was a pilot and she didn’t stay in one place either. Having a relationship with each of them traveling as much as they did wouldn’t be healthy. She had enjoyed a great weekend, and she told Dex that as she climbed from the car at the Toronto Pearson airport, but Lucy could tell something had shifted between them even though Dex had agreed. She wasn’t sure what it was.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Dropping Lucy at the airport hadn’t been Dex’s idea. She had hoped they would go back to her condo for a while. Lucy had been carefully vague about when her flight departed that evening, however, and had insisted she needed to go straight to the airport.

  She was sad to see their time together end. The drive back had been pleasant, and she wasn’t sure if or when she would see Lucy again. She had said she would call or text, but Dex wasn’t feeling very confident about that.

  She wanted to spend more time replaying the weekend, but her personal responsibilities were calling. As she left the airport, she dialed Deidra and prepared to face the inquisition.

  “Where have you been?” Deidra blurted as soon as she answered.

  “I went to Niagara Falls. I needed to get away.” She almost said by herself but knew she couldn’t pull off that lie to Deidra. It would eventually come out that she hadn’t been alone anyway.

  “Niagara Falls? Why?”

  “A friend from the US wanted to go so I went with her.”

  “Wait. You went away for the weekend with a woman?”

  “It wasn’t like that.”

  “Oh my. Is this the woman you mentioned to me before? It is, isn’t it? You ran into her again. I’m so excited for you.”

  “It’s not like that, Deidra.”

  “Tell me then. What’s it like?”

  “We’re only friends. We even had separate rooms.” Dex wouldn’t mention that she had slept in Lucy’s arms last night. It was all too new. She didn’t want to hash it all out with Deidra when she hadn’t even had a chance to process it herself. She pulled to a stop in front of her building. “I have to go. I need to turn in the rental car.”

  “I want to hear all the details. She’s not with you now, is she?”

  “No, I just dropped her at the airport. I’ll call you later.”

  She knew as she said it that she wasn’t going to. She was tired and wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed. And maybe to savor the weekend. There were a lot of moments she wanted to remember and replay. From the first night in her condo to the gentleness of Lucy’s arms as she held her last night. She had seen the change in Lucy as they traveled back to the airport, though. It was almost like their days together had been a fantasy and then they had returned to the real world. A world where Lucy didn’t want to be with anyone.

  She took a deep breath and gathered her uniforms to take to the dry cleaners. As she rode the elevator, she had the sinking feeling she would never see Lucy again. How could she convince a woman to take a chance on her when she was so against risking her heart to anyone? She didn’t have the answers and even if she did she wasn’t sure she was willing to take the chance. Risking her own heart with someone like Lucy was sounding less and less like a chance she wanted to take. Maybe it was time for her to forget the woman who wanted to be forgotten.

  * * *

  Lucy cleared security and then found a quiet spot to email her findings to Depu
ty Avila. One of the many responsibilities of an air marshal was to test the security checkpoints. Often they were asked to attempt to slip items through to test the process of security agents. It was probably the task she hated the most. It always made her feel a little underhanded. At least this time she could report that all security protocols were being followed and she hadn’t observed anything negative to report.

  She had received her schedule for this week of travel and knew she would be exhausted by the end of a week. She would be flying from Miami to Los Angeles and then to Boston before heading back to Atlanta. She was looking forward to getting back to her cabin at the end of it all and having a few days of peace and quiet. Even though she had a wonderful time with Dex, she needed her alone time. Didn’t she?

  Her phone buzzed with a text message. Dex. She felt her pulse race as she swiped through the screens to read the message.

  Had a wonderful weekend. Maybe again sometime?

  She almost typed yes without even thinking. Where had all her resolve gone? She knew the dangerous path of relationships. She had seen plenty of coworkers slip off the grid when they started dating or got married. No more dedication to their job. Never willing to work extra shifts or holidays. That wasn’t her. She wouldn’t allow her life to stop being her own. She didn’t need that kind of pressure—even if she did like Dex.

  Maybe.

  Oh, that was nice and vague. Did she want Dex to move on? Or didn’t she? She needed to decide what she wanted from her and stop giving mixed messages.

  Her phone vibrated with Dex’s response. Soon?

  Crap. How was she supposed to respond to that? She needed a few days at her cabin to think things through. This was not something to decide while sitting in a busy airport terminal. But she also needed to respond and not leave Dex hanging.

  Okay.

  Even more vague.

  Dex’s response was perfect. I’ll text at the end of the week.

  A smile spread across her face and she tried to push it away. She wasn’t going to allow herself to act like a schoolgirl in love. In love? Where had that come from? She wasn’t in love with Dex. And she certainly wasn’t committing to anything. If the opportunity arose to spend the night with someone else, she’d do it. Wouldn’t she?