The Ex-Wife

by Dow, Candice

  “There isn’t an investor in the whole United States that’s interested in this project.”

  “It’s OK. They are just delaying the investment, right? They haven’t totally walked away.”

  “They did today.”

  My heart sank, because I knew he was paying the mortgage on the five-million-dollar land, hoping to make fifty million. Instead of his getting rich, the investors had pulled out, which meant we’d be struggling to pay the mortgage until we found either another investor or someone to purchase the property from us. I knew option number two was out of the question. The property would eventually be worth a lot more and Cam was convinced that if he could just hold on, we’d make so much money neither of us would have to work again.

  I sat there feeling fat and wanting to break down and boo-hoo. Instead I comforted my husband and told him we’d make it work. We’d have to change our spending habits or whatever we needed to do, but we’d hold on to the property until the market turned around.

  He kissed me and I could tell he felt lucky to have me. I wondered if I should hold back my feelings about his failure to answer his phone that day, especially knowing that I was eight months pregnant. I contemplated as I rubbed his shoulders and finally I said, “I almost ran off the road today.”

  “What do you mean?” he asked, out of obligation, but I could tell he wasn’t concerned.

  “My brakes wouldn’t stop. I mashed down to the floor and I was still going over fifty miles an hour.”

  He sat up and almost looked angry. He said, “Are you fucking serious?”

  “Yeah, I got it towed. Aaliyah took me to work and Quentin brought me home.”

  “Why am I just hearing about this?”

  “I called you.”

  “You should have texted me something that important.”

  I just shrugged my shoulders. With your wife, a phone call should carry just as much weight as a text message any day. He asked a bunch of questions about the brake failure, but I didn’t even know the answers myself. Finally, he held me tightly like he regretted neglecting me.

  Yasmin

  I took the entire day off to spend with Caron. I wanted to plan a fun weekend. Ever since he had been living with Cam, I liked to do exciting things when he was with me. We’d probably seen more in the last seven months than we’d seen in his entire life before. I’d be damned if I would hear him tell me some shit that Ayana was doing for him that I hadn’t done. I needed him to always remember that I was his one and only mother. I didn’t want him to get twisted and confused because of what she could provide financially.

  I got up and started making pancakes because they were Caron’s favorite. He was still asleep. We’d gone to the movies the night before and I was humming Beyoncé as I whipped up my baby’s favorite dish. He was truly the pancake gremlin. He would be so happy when he woke up.

  It was just a little after eight and someone banged on the door like the police. I huffed. Who could this be and why were they here? I had on a short pink terry cloth robe and my hair was clipped with pins all over. My fluffy slippers shuffled across the hardwood floors as I tried my best to be silent. I don’t know why I was trying to pretend I wasn’t there. Maybe it’s because whoever was at my door had no business being there. I stood on tiptoe to look through the peephole.

  Cameron. What the hell was he doing here? Maybe he missed being with me and Caron. I opened the door smiling. Cameron busted in the house like a hurricane. He was loud and aggressive, unlike I’d ever seen him before. I didn’t even know what he was saying. He yanked my robe with one hand, jacking me up against the wall.

  “Bitch, I will fucking kill you if you keep this shit up, you hear me?”

  My eyes shifted from side to side. I wasn’t sure what he was referring to. I said, “Cam, get the fuck off of me.”

  “Stop fucking with me, Yasmin. Stop fucking with me and I mean it.”

  He looked like a lion, as if he could rip me to pieces. My heart jumped out of my chest. I thought he was going to hit me. I closed my eyes, preparing for the shock. Caron came running down the stairs. He had bass in his voice as he shouted, “Dad! Dad!”

  Cam let me go and looked like the demon inside of him had temporarily jumped out. He looked at Caron and said, “Go back upstairs.”

  Caron demanded, “Let my mommy go.”

  “Go back upstairs, this is grown-ups’ business.”

  Caron ran down the stairs and attempted to kick and hit his father. Cam lifted him by the arm and said, “Go upstairs and let me finish talking to your mom.”

  Tears rolled down Caron’s face and I could tell that he was hurt that he couldn’t help me. He headed back upstairs but his eyes pierced his father like bullets. He had turned on Cameron and I couldn’t blame him.

  Cam pointed at me and said, “I will make sure they don’t find your ass. You hear me?”

  He stormed out the front door and my nerves were still jumping out of control. I sat at the kitchen table crying and shaking. My baby sneaked back downstairs and looked at me compassionately. He touched my shoulder and peeked through my hands covering my face. He said, “Mommy, don’t cry. Daddy didn’t mean it.”

  “I don’t know, honey.”

  “It’s going to be better.”

  “I know.”

  “I don’t want you guys to fight anymore. Why can’t y’all just be together like when I was young?”

  “You don’t remember that.”

  “Yes I do. He used to love you and you loved him. I remember. I want it like it used to be.”

  “That’s impossible. Your father has a new wife and another baby on the way.”

  He held me and said, “You want me to be your husband?”

  He made me smile and that decreased the trembling in my hands. I still couldn’t believe Cam. I pondered whether or not I should press charges. I’d never seen that look in his eyes, not even when I told him I wanted to break up. Cam had always been reflective and patient. He didn’t act on impulse, which was one of the reasons I’d wanted to leave him, but the monster that had torn through my home was a stranger. I’d never seen that man in my life. I was concerned for my safety and the safety of my son. Nothing I’d done warranted his threatening my life. I hadn’t even bothered them in months. I’d been busy trying to move on with my life and get back on the dating scene. I had been going to therapy once or more per week and I was feeling more positive than I had in a long time.

  At that point I felt afraid and harassed. If I needed to, I would run off with Caron again. I refused to drop him back off to those lunatics. The entire appeal process for getting Caron back was taking too long.

  I picked up the phone and dialed 911. When the officer arrived at my home, I told him the story and Caron chimed in.

  “He was choking her.”

  The officer asked, “Was he choking you, ma’am?”

  I contemplated and I said, “Yes, he was choking me and he threatened my life.”

  “OK. Do you feel safe here?”

  “No, I’m not sure. I’m supposed to see him tomorrow to drop off my son. I don’t know if I want to do that.”

  He basically told me that I had to take Caron back, especially if it was court-ordered. Otherwise I would be in trouble. He suggested that I have someone else take him instead. The court system was messed up. This man could come threaten my life and that had no impact on custody until we went back to court. This was unbelievable.

  He then said, “I will issue a warrant when I get back to the station.”

  “For his arrest?” I asked, shocked. Suddenly realizing what I’d just done.

  “Yes. It sometimes takes a day or two to filter down, so they won’t immediately go to his residence. I’m not sure if you want to handle this in front of your son, but you can always call the station and let them know where he is if you know. You definitely don’t want him roaming around, especially if you feel in fear of your life.”

  “Is he going to jail?”

 
The officer nodded in confirmation. I glanced at Caron and his eyes were full of water. It hurt me to see him this way, but why would Cameron come in here like that knowing Caron was here? Why had he put all of us in this situation? I didn’t feel good about what I was doing. Did I think Cam would ever hurt me in a million years? No. However, the other guy who had come in here was probably capable of a lot. Would I be stupid not to report this? Probably. After giving it some thought, I proceeded with signing the statement. After the officer left, I called Tayshawn. He was already in the shop and picked up on the first ring. “You must be missing me, boo.”

  “You know I am.”

  When I told him about Cam, he gasped and huffed and continued to do it over and over again without saying a word. I needed him to say something. I needed him to make me feel crazy or confirm that I’d done the right thing. He said, “Yasmin. You are playing with fire. You have tested that man’s ego and I think you need to stop. You know I’m ride or die for life, but it sounds like he’s tipping. You ain’t going to win. Just stop.”

  “But, Tay, I haven’t done anything in a long time.”

  “Now, Yasmin, you don’t have to lie to me. You keep something going on Twitter about Ms. Ayana.”

  “Yeah, but that’s not that big of a deal. Not enough for him to try and kill me. I was scared.”

  “I bet you were.”

  “You should beat him up for me,” I said.

  “Oh, honey, a lady never fights a man.”

  I laughed. “You are so crazy. You still got strength like a man. Right?”

  “Only when necessary. I couldn’t fight Cammy-Poo if I wanted to. I would be rubbing on those abs.”

  “You are so silly. I knew you would make me feel better.”

  I asked if he would drop Caron off for me so that I wouldn’t have to see Cameron and he agreed. I hated that my few days with my son had been tarnished with his drama. It annoyed me. I logged on to Twitter and tweeted: SO TAKING MY SON WASN’T GOOD ENOUGH, NOW YOU WANT TO WHIP MY ASS?!?!?!

  Within seconds, people commented. They wanted to know more. Everyone knew that my ex-husband was Ayana Blue’s new husband and women soaked up the drama like a sponge. Tayshawn called me back and said, “Yasmin, what is wrong with you?”

  “What? I didn’t do anything.”

  “I’m really starting to think you are crazy.”

  “Why?”

  “Take that shit off of Twitter.”

  “Why?”

  “If you don’t know why, herein lies the problem! Don’t you think that is inciting him?”

  “He doesn’t follow me. Plus, my therapist told me that posting my thoughts to Twitter was better than acting on them.”

  “Yasmin!” he shouted as if to shake me through the phone. “I don’t believe your therapist condones harassing them on Twitter.”

  True. Still, he’d told me to express myself and that was all I was doing. So I left the tweet there and took pleasure in reading the comments bashing him, and her for stealing my husband. I loved that women were always eager to take the scorned woman’s side.

  Ayana

  The dealer called Saturday morning to let me know the brakes had been tampered with and suggested I file a police report. As I stood there confused, explaining to Cameron what they suspected, he didn’t say a word. He just shook his head. It seemed that he was holding back his true emotions—that the pain of the whole situation was about to make him explode just as it was doing to me. A few minutes later, he got up and left the house.

  When the police officer came to the house, I felt alone. Here I was being tortured by Cam’s ex-wife and he was nowhere to be found. The officer was kind enough to let me know that these types of incidents were not their top priority. He promised they would question Yasmin and ask people in my neighborhood if they’d seen any suspicious activity around the house. I got the strong impression that would be the extent of the investigation. It seemed that someone had to actually kill you before justice was sought. I was sick of the legal system and wished I could take matters into my own hands.

  I went up to take a nap, hoping I could just sleep away all my problems. When I awoke, it was three hours later and Cam still hadn’t returned. So I gave him a call.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I went to the gym for a little while. I had to work out to relieve some of this frustration.”

  “Baby, come home. Let’s go to Babies“R”Us and finalize our registry. We need to do something to take our minds off of everything.”

  “You’re probably right.”

  Not only was Cam’s business plummeting but so was his patience with the entire Yasmin situation. Despite everything that was going on I was here for better or worse and I wanted to make it all better. We were five weeks from becoming parents and I didn’t want the joy contaminated with all the problems we were going through. We deserved more. Whatever financial problems we were having were temporary. I had faith in Cam’s business savvy and I knew everything would come back around.

  He walked into the house, looked at me, and said, “I promised to take care of you.”

  “Listen, you are taking care of me. I know you love me. I know you’re committed to me. I know you are a good man and that’s all I need.”

  “I want to give you everything I promised when I met you.”

  “I didn’t fall in love with promises. I fell in love with a person. A man with character and respect. I wasn’t excited about your car or your house. I was excited about you, the morals and values that you have. I fell in love with the same thing that everyone sees in you.”

  I noticed a smile peeking through the cloud hovering over his face. There was nothing bad that I could say about him. Though I had often contemplated giving up, I assured him that I was in this for the long haul. He had shown me what good men were made of. I rubbed his back. We were about to experience something big and I didn’t want us to lose sight of that. The most important thing was that I had made it home safely. But I couldn’t help feeling nervous about this whole thing. Yasmin was a very sick individual. The fact that she had done something that could have killed me and my baby was unnerving. I didn’t plan to leave the house until after the baby was born. Quentin had already spoken to my stand-in host, letting her know that I would be going out on maternity leave.

  I needed to take a seat after walking from the parking lot to Babies“R”Us. Cam stood beside me in the registry area, holding my hand. I asked for the scanner so I could add items to my list. The representative nodded in an irritated fashion. It was too hot to even think about suggesting she fix her attitude if she planned to work in sales. Instead, I picked up a pamphlet off the table and began to fan myself. The Atlanta heat was burning through my soul. Even when I was in air-conditioning I was hot and it was just the first week in April. I wanted to just jump into a freezer and stay there until my baby was ripe and ready.

  After she took forever to program my scanner, I was back up and on my way. It seemed as if we came to Babies“R”Us nearly every day. It was therapeutic for the both of us. I always felt calm and celestial when I was there. Early on in the pregnancy, I’d started my registry online, but coming into the store was so much better. I imagined how the baby would smell and how he would look. Cam and I created an e-mail address for him as soon as we found out we were having a boy and decided on his name. We’d both send e-mails about our feelings to him. It was interesting to read Cam’s messages. He would often say how much he planned to love the baby and how his love for me got stronger every day he watched me grow. That flattered me. We planned to compile the messages into a book when our son was old enough to read it. I always sent a message when I left Babies“R”Us, because I felt more eager then to meet and touch him.

  We explored every aisle as if we hadn’t seen it all before. Our clasped hands swung back and forth like those of teenagers in love. Cam always scanned Onesies. We’d probably listed a desired quantity of about twenty. I laughed at him.

 
“I’m telling you. We need all of these we can get. I remember when Caron was a baby, I felt like he used ten a day,” he said.

  “That’s impossible, Cam.”

  “He had bad reflux so he threw up a lot and all I remember is changing undershirts.”

  The smile disappeared as I visualized Caron as a baby. I tried to imagine Yasmin as a normal person and how she and Cameron had interacted. Had he been this loving and caring to her? Had he seemed as ecstatic about the birth of Caron? I looked at him and asked, “Did you do this with Yasmin? Were you this supportive?”

  He stared at me and raised an eyebrow. His nose turned up as if the sound of her name produced a funk in the air. “Why?”

  “I’m just trying to figure out the source of her anger issues.”

  “I don’t know. She could always snap at the drop of a hat, but she could manage it better. She was young and cute and able to pull the wool over people’s eyes. Now she sees her good years fading away. I think she’s just desperate. I don’t think she can find a good man and I’m the only thing she has left to hold on to. You know the saying, ‘You don’t miss a good thing till it’s gone.’ Me being with you makes her feel inadequate and miserable. She’ll do anything to make us feel like she feels.” He leaned in and kissed my forehead. “Misery loves company, baby.”

  “Yeah, very well said, honey.”

  After strolling around the store I was ready to go home. My entire body began to feel heavy. Cam could read my breathing as he suggested that he go get the car and I meet him out front.

  We stopped to have lunch at a small café in the same shopping center. Cam ordered a dirty martini. I wished I could share a drink with him. He seemed to really relax the more he sipped.

  When it was time to pick up Caron on Sunday, Cam asked me if I wanted to go with him. He said, “I know if you’re there, I will keep my cool.”

  “Cam, you’re always cool.”

  He laughed. “Yeah, until someone messes with my baby.”