Longing for Love

by Vicki Green

  “Someone’s hungry.” A laugh bursts from my mouth. I feel giddy yet still not one hundred percent better yet. Although with his playfulness, a flush spreads across my skin, making it warmer than it was before. “Go sit. It’s almost ready.” He gives me a wink and I swear I’m about to combust. Sexy, caring, strong, and can cook. Oh my! I walk over and sit down at the table, a glass of water and another with juice sits before me. I take a huge drink of water, feeling the coolness move down my throat. “I thought you’d better eat light after last night.” I look up as he sets a plate down in front of me. Scrambled eggs and toast. He starts to walk away and I grab his hand, mine small in comparison.

  “Aren’t you going to eat?” My brows lower. He’s taking such great care of me but he needs to take care of himself too. He smiles.

  “Yup, I’m just going over to get my plate.” He winks and I release his hand. I should be embarrassed by my open display but I’m not. I can’t help my worry for him as he has for me.

  He returns shortly with his own plate and sits down next to me. His is much fuller, adding bacon into the mix. I scoop up some eggs and take a bite. The taste explodes in my mouth. So good. I might have let out a small moan. After last night, I didn’t think I’d be hungry this morning but suddenly I’m starving. “These are great. Thank you. You’re a great cook,” I say in between bites.

  He looks at my plate and then into my eyes. “Ha, well, I wouldn’t go that far. I do okay but I’m no chef. I only know how to make a few basic things so don’t get your hopes up.” He takes a bite and then looks at my plate again. “Do you want more?” I look down and notice my eggs are gone. I hadn’t realized I’d eaten them all. I look at him and smile, nodding, still feeling the emptiness in my stomach. He scoots his chair back but I stop him quickly.

  “No. Finish eating. I can make them. I don’t want yours to get cold.”

  I begin to stand, laying my hand on the edge of the table to help me up, but stop abruptly when his hand covers mine. “Sit. You’re still not well and I can tell you’re weak. I’ll get them.” His worried expression softens as I lower myself onto the chair. His gorgeous smile appears as he stands and starts walking over to the counter. “I made extra, just in case.” He winks at me over his shoulder and I watch him put a bowl in the microwave and press a couple of buttons. Soon he’s walking back to me and sets the bowl with more scrambled eggs onto the table. Again, he thought of everything.

  After my stomach is so full, feeling like it could bust, I stand and pick up my plate. He grasps my wrist, stopping me. “No. You go lie down. I’ve got this.” So sweet. Demanding but sweet. I didn’t think I could be tired, feeling like all I’ve done is sleep, but as I get up to my room and crawl into bed, I close my eyes and drift off quickly.

  “Yeah, she’s better. Still really weak but she ate this morning and has been sleeping all day. Yeah, I’ll let you know. Thanks, bro.”

  Hearing his low, rough voice, I open my eyes slowly, turning over and stretch. I look over at my windows. The sun must be low as the light has faded since I first went to sleep. My eyes move over to the clock but instead of panicking at the hour, I stretch again lazily. I sit up and look down on my nightstand and notice my phone flashing. Picking it up, I swipe the screen to find several texts have come in along with a few voicemails.

  Too tired and not up to dealing with them, I set my phone back on the nightstand and walk to the bathroom. Doing my business, I’m thinking that I must still be really sick because I’ve never put off anything before. I’ve never taken a day off before and now it’s been two. But I’ve also never had someone take care of me, someone that wanted to hold me to help me fall asleep, hold my hair back as I got sick. As I brush my teeth, anxious to put on some actual clothes, I smile around the brush thinking about Kane and everything he’s done for me. I’ve slept so well, the feeling of his strong arms around me, making me feel cared for, loved.

  Loved?

  I let out a sigh. If only.

  Once I have a pair of jeans and t-shirt on, I leave my room and head to the stairs. The sound of low voices become louder as I descend. Who in the hell would be here? They grow even louder as I approach the family room.

  “What the fuck?” I hear Kane’s low rough voice filled with an intense growl. He’s upset but what about?

  “I know, man. But you have to understand….” Charles’ voice pleads.

  “I don’t have to understand shit. It’s not right.” Another growl and I can envision Kane’s hands are in tight fists.

  “Understand what?” I ask as I walk into the room.

  Their heads turn and Charles stands from the couch, walking over to me quickly. His arms fold around me as he kisses my cheek. “Sis! How are you feeling?” I give him a small smile as I look over his shoulder at Kane. His eyes are staring into mine so deeply that I shiver.

  “I’m better. Thanks.” My eyes shift to Charles and then back to Kane. I catch Charles watching me from the corner of my eye. Kane’s face is full of anger. What’s happened? I tear my eyes away from Kane and look at Charles. I have a bad feeling. “What’s going on?” I whisper, unsure I really want to know. I feel better but am still a little weak. I’m not sure I’m ready for what I’m about to hear. Charles releases his hold on me but gently grasps my upper arms, his face full of concern.

  “It’s nothing new, Bri. Father’s on the warpath again. Have you not checked your phone since you’ve been ill?”

  Shit! All the messages and voicemails. I had a feeling they were from him. I mean, other than Charles who could they have been from. It’s not like I have any friends, any girls whom I’ve become so close to that we’d always keep in touch, like normal girls. I never had that “girl time”. After Mother passed away, it was Charles that stood by me, let me cry into his arms with grief. It was Charles who consoled me and I him, until the years after he got too busy at school. Father began Charles’ training at work in the evenings and on weekends, leaving me alone to fend for myself. Once Charles left for college, I became the next protégé, learning all about business while keeping up with my courses at school. Four years later, Charles returned with his business and graphic design degrees while I finished college. When I came home, I became one of the first women, and youngest, to fulfill the role of Head Assistant, Graphic Designer, and Lead Sales Associate in the United States. I missed out on slumber parties, going out on regular dates, spending time with nonexistent friends, hanging out at the mall or going to a drive in. Girls left me alone while in school, both high school and college. I was alone, knee deep in studies. Father didn’t even put me in the dorm in college – that would have been too normal. He paid for me to stay in a small luxurious house not far from campus.

  My head turns quickly to Kane when he speaks, his voice growing louder as he approaches from behind.

  “Of course she’s hasn’t. She’s been sick.”

  Suddenly Charles’ hands drop and I’m in Kane’s strong arms.

  Muscles.

  Power.

  Tenderness.

  All contradictions of this amazing man all wrapped around me. I’ve never felt safer.

  Laying my head against his broad chest, I close my eyes.

  “Bri. Father is pissed that you haven’t been at work and was gonna storm over here but I stopped him.”

  My eyes snap open, my heartbeat begins to increase. I had a feeling this would happen. I guess I always hope that one day he would be like he used to be – before Mother passed away. He used to be the best daddy. Caring. Loving. Flashes of sitting on his leg as he bounced me up and down. Me giggling and laughing so hard. He’d finally stop and envelope me in a hug, kissing the top of my head. Kane’s arm tightens around me, shaking me from my memories.

  “He has no clue how to be a good dad, treating his daughter like that.” Kane sounds disgusted but when I look up and into his eyes they’re filled with compassion, tenderness. He tightens his arms, pulling me into him closer, and I see he’s looking at Charles wit
h disgust on his face. I know he’s not aiming that at Charles. I also know Charles knows that as well. “How can someone, especially a parent, treat family that way is beyond me?” I’m sure it is. He has such a loving and tight knit family. He knows nothing else. From what I’ve heard, he does have a little bit of an understanding from what he went through with Brock, trying to help Taren with her father but still. Unless it’s your parent and you’ve had to live that way, there’s no way you can truly understand. I’m glad he hasn’t had to go through that. I hear Charles let out a huge sigh and look at him. His shoulders are slumped and he’s shaking his head. I’ve always felt worse for him. Mom didn’t know about his secret, the one he kept hidden for so long, but I know she would have loved him anyway, unlike Daddy. Ever since he came out, I’ve tried to take the brunt of everything else. Tried to protect him, even though he’s my big brother by two years. But he’s taken care of me as well, sometimes I think more than I have of him. Placing my hand on Kane’s stomach, feeling the deep ridges and contours of his tight abs, I look up at him and give him a small smile. He looks down. His brows furrowed and creases line his forehead in anger still.

  “I’ll tend to Father,” I say at Kane then look at Charles. I walk over to my brother and give him a hug. “Don’t worry. What’s the worse he could do? Fire me?” I let out a small laugh knowing that’s exactly what he could do. Charles pushes some of my long hair behind my ear, looking at me with such love.

  “Honey. I’ve told you so many times that we could start our own business, be our own bosses. Your clients love you and would follow you anywhere. With them and their recommendations, our business would be off the ground so fast, it would make Father’s head spin.”

  He has told me this, so many times. We used to sit around and plot our walk out, starting our business together here at my house since I have so many extra rooms, then when it got off the ground moving it to a rented building. Dreams. God, what I wouldn’t give to be able to follow through. Call me stupid but I still love Daddy. I wouldn’t want to hurt him like that. It might even kill him. He’d have no one. I lean up and give him a kiss. “Go. I’m fine. I’ll take care of him. Everything will be fine.” He kisses my nose and starts walking to the door. I turn and look at Kane. His hands shoved into his front pockets. The look of concern still etched on his face. “And you.” I walk over to him, grasping his strong arms. I can feel them twitch with my touch, the smoothness of his skin, and ache to follow the trail of his large veins with my fingers. “Thank you for everything, for taking such great care of me.” His eyes soften along with the rest of his face. “You’ll never know how much that means to me.” I turn, his arm wrapping around my shoulders as we walk towards the door. “I’m sure I’ve kept you to myself long enough. Your family won’t know what to think.” I let out a small laugh but inside my body longs for him to hold me again, brush back my hair, and fall asleep again in his strong arms. I’d give anything for him to stay but I know he must have other things to do.

  Once we’ve reached the front door, he opens it and starts to walk outside. I notice Charles is standing by his car. My eyes snap back to Kane when he stops abruptly and turns. He takes my hand in his, the other reaches up and cups my face, his thumb rubs across my cheek. “If you need anything, anything at all, or start to feel worse, you call me. Okay?” My insides are about to bust.

  So caring.

  So sweet.

  He leans forward and my eyes close as he presses his lips against my forehead. I don’t know how long we stand here but I don’t want to move. I want this to last forever. “You don’t feel warm anymore.” Slowly, I open my eyes and see his face lit up with a smile. He steps back, releasing my hand. I can still feel the tingles that enveloped me with his touches but my hand feels cold. I smile as he walks through the door and I take a step grabbing it to hold on to. He turns and walks backwards. “I mean it. Call me if you need anything. Please?” I nod readily. He graces me with another smile and turns back around. Such a rough exterior but inside he’s sweet, kind, caring. Who would have thought? I watch as Charles speaks to him, his eyes moving to mine a few times. They shake hands and each get into their vehicles.

  Shutting the door and locking it, I take a deep breath and make my way upstairs and to my office. Sitting down in my desk chair, I boot up my laptop, not really in the mood to check emails but feeling slightly guilty. I click on the program and watch as all the messages appear. As I expected there are several from Daddy. Scrolling down to the bottom, I read the first one, asking me where I am.

  Delete.

  I read the next, his concern growing but not for my welfare.

  Delete.

  I begin reading through them quicker, each time I can tell he becomes more and more upset and frustrated. I noticed a few emails from Irish and a couple from Jenny along the way, asking if I’m okay. My emotions begin to choke me, two girls who have become more than just business acquaintances. I was surprised to learn when Jenny visited before that she’s Caylan’s sister and Irish – well, she’s been so friendly and a great help. I was shocked to learn that she was like a sister to Kane and Brock, having no real family of her own. I don’t know the entire story nor is it my business but I admire her strength, wishing I could have half as much when confronting father. Then my mind drifts to Taren and Brock, what they went through to be together, her father as stern and cruel as mine. From what I understand, he waited too late to save their relationship but at least redeemed himself in her eyes when he died trying to save her. I let out a sigh. I wish my father would come to his senses, treat me like a daughter, and actually show that he cares for me. I get to the last one from Daddy, and it makes me shiver and my heart drop. I don’t know why he affects me like this. He’s been this way for so long, you’d think I’d just take it, and normally I do. I guess it’s being ill that has weakened more than my body.

  Brianna,

  I don’t know what is going on or why you cannot respond to your texts or emails but this has become more than ridiculous. I’m tired of trying to get you to answer and your lack of responsibilities. I thought I’d taught you better than this. What has gotten into you? Business must come first. You’ve shirked your duties for two days now. Do I need to remind you of all that I’ve done for you? Given you? Entrusted in you? When two of your clients cannot get ahold of you and have since called my office to find out about their details, it has become totally unacceptable. I’ve fired employees for less. You need to contact me immediately or I will be thinking about my choice of lead assistant.

  Bradley T. Daniels

  Daniels Corporation, Inc.

  “Ugh!” So impersonal, like he’s speaking to any other employee, not his daughter. And he wants to remove me from my role? I can’t be sick? I can’t miss a day or two? Hell, I’ve not taken even a day of vacation in the two years I’ve worked full time for him. I spent half my days working and the other half taking college courses, not to mention the weekends. I’ve had no time for myself for anything other than furthering my career and trying to make him proud. I’m beyond frustrated and mad as hell. I pull up a blank email and begin to type.

  Father,

  Thank you for being so concerned about my well-being. I appreciate so much that you asked so kindly if I was okay. Yes, I’ve been quite ill actually but I’m feeling a little better now. I’ll be more than happy to contact my clients who have shown their concern immediately. I apologize that after a little over two years with no sick nor vacation days taken that I fell ill and actually had to take a couple of days off.

  Now, I’m going to go through the rest of my emails and text messages and then take a hot bath and go to bed so I can be ready to go to work in the morning.

  Bria

  Your daughter

  The pads of my fingers ache from hitting the keys so hard. I hit send and let out the breath I’d been holding. Instead of reading through the rest of my emails, I shut down the computer, deciding a hot bath is just what I need. I can look at the
rest in the morning. Dammit, I’m still finishing my sick day whether he cares or not. Who am I kidding, he doesn’t care. Smoky jumps up on the desk, purring and rubbing against my laptop. I pick her up and cradle her, petting her soft fur. “At least you care about me.” She looks at me with her big green eyes and I’m thankful that I at least have one friend who doesn’t care what I look like, if I work, or what I wear. “I’m taking a bath and then we’ll watch a movie in bed and snuggle,” I tell her as I continue my stroking. Thank God I have her.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Kane

  I didn’t want to leave her. Hell, I would stay every night if she asked me to. A nice warm breeze blows in my truck window as I drive to the bar, my arm hanging out over the rim. In a matter of days I’ve gone from a different woman every night to one that I can’t get out of my head, out from every thought I have. She makes me crazy but I’m kinda liking it. And we haven’t even had sex! Maybe I’m finally growing up or maybe this whole thing will blow up like I’ll find out she’s really a witch or she really bats for the other team.

  No. Not possible.

  Maybe she’s really sleeping around behind my back.

  No, you’ve been with her every night.

  She’s a virgin.

  I run my hand down my face in frustration. There’s gotta be something or something’s going to happen. She’s too good to be true.

  She’s a Goddess.

  I know! So what the hell does she want me for? I could make myself crazy with all this. There’s no rhyme or reason why she’d want me. Maybe that’s why we haven’t had sex. She only wants me as a friend. I don’t think I can be just a friend with a woman, especially her. Yeah, Irish doesn’t count. She’s like my sister. Taren doesn’t count either. She’s like my sister too. Well, she will be my sister-in-law by Saturday. Their wedding. I wonder if Bria’s coming. My thoughts continue with all things Bria as I pull into the parking lot of the bar. Once I get inside, I walk over to my stool, sit and grab a handful of peanuts, my head still thinking about her.