Everything Is Figureoutable

by Marie Forleo

  After the trip, I got a call from my team. Our film crew’s equipment was stolen. Every camera, every lens, every tripod, and every second of footage—the entire conference and a dozen interviews across multiple European cities. Gonzo.

  I threw up in my mouth.

  Not only was losing that footage creatively devastating (the conference was unrepeatable), but we had a crucial promotional campaign planned around those interviews—a promotion our company needed to survive. The campaign was weeks away. Because of how many outside partners we had on board to support it, there was no way to push back our launch date.

  But here’s what’s wild. That sick feeling in my stomach lasted only a few moments. Why? Because my entire team lives and breathes the figureoutable philosophy. It’s embedded in our company’s culture.

  During that same phone call, our head of storytelling presented a reshoot plan, complete with a revamped travel schedule and interviewee approval.

  I took a deep breath and said, “All right. We can do this. It’s totally figureoutable!” Within a few days, the crew got new equipment, packed up, and flew back to Europe. Yes, it was intense. Yes, we busted ass and worked around the clock. But we pulled together, leaned on each other, and got the job done on time. And guess what? The new interview footage was even better than the first round!

  Anyone who leads an organization or manages a department or runs a household knows this: shit goes wrong all the time. Meltdowns occur. Tech breaks. Accidents happen. People get sick. These situations are perfect opportunities to strengthen your figureoutable muscles.

  But if you want to supercharge your ability to overcome obstacles, reduce stress, and create outstanding results . . .

  Go beyond yourself. Think in terms of we, not me.

  You believing and behaving as though everything is figureoutable will radically change your life. But when the people around you—friends, family, and colleagues—also believe and behave as though everything is figureoutable, you’ll become capable of experiences and achievements beyond your wildest dreams.

  First, it’s way more fun to solve problems and overcome challenges together. Second, a community you can count on instantly multiplies the mental, emotional, spiritual, and creative resources available. Third, you’re more likely to persevere in the face of setbacks when you have the support of others. Plus, the collaborative mix of ideas, strengths, and diverse perspectives often leads to far greater, richer results rooted in a deeper sense of purpose.

  This quote by Martin Rutte perfectly illustrates the paradox we must all embrace:

  “You have to do it by yourself, and you can’t do it alone.”

  Yes, the only person you can control in life is you, and you must take full responsibility for the state of your life. Always and in all ways.

  And . . .

  We humans need each other. It’s wired into our biology. No one exists on an island. Read biographies and investigate the subtle details in anyone’s success story—you’ll find that many souls played a supporting role in any single person’s rise.

  While the tools and tenets in this book apply to you as an individual, they don’t end there. If you want the best chance to figure out your dreams, build a nourishing environment around you. Make it a priority to strengthen your social connections. Invest in others by caring and supporting their ability to figure out their dreams, too.

  This isn’t just feel-good fluff. Decades of research confirm the impact of positive social connections on our health, happiness, and performance. People with strong social connections have lower levels of anxiety and depression. They have higher self-esteem, are more empathetic, trusting, and cooperative with others. As a result, others are more trusting and cooperative with them.1 The flip side is also true. One landmark study showed a lack of social connections is more harmful to your health than smoking, obesity, and high-blood pressure.2 In fact, loneliness is as lethal as smoking fifteen cigarettes a day.3

  Here’s the good news: The strength of your social connections is something within your control. Like everything else, it’s figureoutable.

  BUILD YOUR FIGUREOUTABLE FORCE FIELD

  If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else.

  Booker T. Washington

  If you recently stopped drinking, would you go to happy hour every day after work? If you were recovering from a gambling addiction, would you vacation in Vegas? If you recently discovered you were lactose intolerant, would you apply for a job in a cheese shop? Not a chance.

  Why? Because your environment has enormous influence over the way you think, feel, and behave. Over time, your environment can make or break your success. That’s why it’s so important to take the lead and shape your environment—which includes the people you choose to spend time with—with intention and care.

  The goal is to create a figureoutable force field, an ever-expanding ecosystem filled with supportive, kind people. One where everyone feels loved and respected for who they are. Here are three steps to get started.

  1. INVEST IN FIGUREOUTABLE FRIENDS

  Dr. Mark Hyman once told me, “Friend power is more important than willpower.” It’s hard to change your behavior or way of thinking if friends or loved ones aren’t supportive. That’s why you must be proactive. Share what you learned here with your closest friends. Give them a copy of this book. Talk about your ideas over coffee, cocktails, or a meal. Make the figureoutable philosophy part of your shared lexicon. Help each other “start before you’re ready” and remember to focus on “progress not perfection.”

  If you’re someone who’s more into structure and accountability, this may inspire you. A study by the Association for Talent Development found that you’ve got a 65 percent chance of completing a goal if you commit to someone. Add a specific accountability appointment and you’ll increase your chances of success by up to 95 percent. Yes, 95 percent!

  Even without hard-core accountability, having friends you can count on is invaluable. When I find myself in a shit pickle, I call friends and colleagues. Whether it’s work, relationship, or health related—I have no shame in reaching out and saying, “I know this is figureoutable, but I’m having a hard time seeing which way to go. Can we talk it through?”

  The reason I can do that is because I invest in my friendships. Nothing is more important to me than my relationships. I do my best to be a proactive source of love, encouragement, and support for my friends’ dreams, and you can do the same.

  2. BE A FIGUREOUTABLE FORCE FOR GOOD AT WORK

  Here’s what it looks like in our company. A code red happens. A few text messages are exchanged. Once we realize we’ve got a significant problem on our hands, someone announces, “Something’s effed up! Let’s hop on a call to figure it out!” And we do. Every. Single. Time.

  As adults, we spend the vast majority of our waking lives at work. No matter what your position (entry-level, freelancer, coordinator, manager, or CEO), commit to being a leader who believes and behaves as though everything is figureoutable. Show up in every environment with your figureoutable muscles flexed and ready. Say those words whenever you hit a problem, then back it up with action.

  When your team hits an obstacle, be the first to say, “Hey, this is tough, but everything is figureoutable. We’re capable and, if we work together, we will figure this out.” That clear, calm, confident presence will have a positive ripple effect on your team. It will also help shift the focus away from stress, blame, and upset (all toxic and unproductive states, especially during a crisis) and toward creating a solution.

  As Marianne Williamson reminds us, “An idea grows stronger when it’s shared.” If you lead a business, organization, or department, gift this book to everyone on your team. If you’re a teacher or a coach, make everything is figureoutable a core lesson. Take the initiative to embed the figureoutable philosophy in your culture. We on Team Forleo use the ideas and tools from this book dai
ly. I’m proud to say that folks regularly talk about having their “dream job” in our company. They even spend time together outside of work hours. I’m always hearing about team members meeting up on their vacations. No company is perfect, but ours is incredibly productive, caring, and supportive. I believe that’s largely because the figureoutable philosophy is our foundation.

  3. BECOME AN MF INSIDER TO GET ENDLESS FIGUREOUTABLE ENCOURAGEMENT FROM YOURS TRULY

  The media and messages you consume are part of your mental and emotional ecosystem. What you read and listen to shapes your feelings, perspective, and behavior. If you’ve enjoyed this book, I’d love to continue supporting you on your journey.

  We’ve been sharing free, award-winning content with our MF insiders (our email subscribers) every Tuesday for nearly two decades. Often, we send a new episode of MarieTV or The Marie Forleo Podcast. Sometimes it’s a short, personal love note that makes your inbox smile. No matter what, you have my word: our content is uplifting, entertaining, and actionable. Everything we share will help you master the figureoutable philosophy and use your gifts to change the world. I’m proud to say that we have thousands of notes from subscribers who say that ours is the only email they read and look forward to each week.

  Go to MarieForleo.com/EIF and enter your details. You’ll get instant access to bonus material and additional training that didn’t make its way into the book.

  * * *

  —

  Whether it’s with friends, colleagues, or loved ones, remember this golden relationship rule: whatever you long for, give to others.

  If you long for more support, support others.

  If you long for more appreciation, appreciate others.

  If you long for more love and acceptance, love and accept others.

  If you long for more recognition, recognize others.

  If you long for more celebration, celebrate others.

  If you long for more understanding, understand others.

  Whenever you feel a sense of lack or that you “need” something, that’s the exact moment to turn around and give it to someone else. Please know, you cannot do this as a manipulation. You can’t give with an expectation of getting something back, because then it’s no longer a gift but a demand. Instead, realize that which you give freely, you receive instantly. Whatever you give to another, you experience yourself.

  Ultimately, the measure of our lives is not determined by what we achieve for ourselves; it’s determined by what we share, give, and contribute to others. Do whatever you can to put yourself in an environment that focuses on contribution, not complaint. Giving, not getting. Service, not self-importance.

  One last favor. Promise me you’ll keep going. You’re a precious soul with so much to create and contribute to this world.

  Yes, I know. You’re already juggling a lot. While you have some incredibly beautiful blessings (we all do), you’re also navigating some challenges, too. Tough times don’t come out of nowhere. They come precisely when you’re ready to grow and be more of who you really are. You’re stronger and more capable than you know.

  Write to me and keep me posted on your growth. I’d love to hear how you’re using what you’ve discovered here to change your life.

  Till then, be good to yourself. You are your most important asset in this life. Remember to laugh and have fun, too.

  Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams. Because the world really does need that special gift that only you have.

  With all my love,

  Marie

  Venice Beach, California, March 2019

  Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.

  Margaret Mead

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  The greatest and most fulfilling achievements in my life were not accomplished by me alone. Everything good and beautiful I’ve ever created, including this book, is connected to countless others. It’s from the priceless contribution, collaboration, and encouragement of brilliant humans I have the honor of knowing.

  To my beloved Josh, your relentless love, wisdom, and funny-ass adventurous spirit are treasures. Thank you for always believing in me. Thank you for seeing my potential, especially when I can’t see it myself. I adore doing life with you. I love you more than you know.

  To Team Forleo—the most magical badass crew in the world—including Tana, Geada, Louise, Marian (book wife!), Justin (Jams), Chelsea, Caroline, Sally, Kelsey, Audrey, Stevie, Erica, Meg, Mandy, Hailey, Heather H., Laura, Heather F., Meika, Jen, Ariel, Julia, Rachel, Sarah, Gregory, Elsa, Eric Michael, Josh B., Jason, and every glorious member of our wise, wild, creative, big-hearted ever-growing family, I bow to you. I worship you. Team Forleo is my ride or die for life.

  To family, friends, and colleagues who continue to support me endlessly, Ronny, Zane, Ida, Jen and Zach, Juan and Bill, Kris Carr aka my best friend in the Universe, Regena Thomashauer, Laura Belgray, Gabby Bernstein, Kate Northrup, Amy Porterfield, Sheila Kelley, Danielle LaPorte, Billy Beck III, Ophira Edut, Danielle Vieth, Grasie Mercedes, Damien Fahey, Seth Godin, Liz Gilbert, Sarah Jones, Dani Shapiro, Tony Robbins, Glennon Doyle, Brené Brown, Cheryl Strayed, Steve Pressfield, Simon Sinek, Tim Ferriss, Shawn Achor, Chris Guillebeau, Brendon Burchard, Kristin Loberg, Ryan Holiday—the pep talks, texts, meals, emails, advice, love, and support—your work, leadership, and friendship fuels me.

  To my agent Bonnie Solow, I am so appreciative for your guidance and integrity.

  To Adrian Zackheim, thank you for getting me and this idea, instantly. I adore you. To the entire Portfolio team including Leah Trouwborst, Chris Sergio, Will Weisser, Tara Gilbride, Lauren Monaco, Margot Stamas, Jessica Regione, Megan Gerrity, Matthew Boezi, Meighan Cavanaugh, Lillian Ball—thank you for your tireless efforts, heart, and care in bringing this baby to life.

  To Oprah Winfrey, thank you for the extraordinary honor and joy of being invited on your show and stage. Since I was a little girl, you have been a beacon of possibility in my life. You continue to be one of my favorite humans, ever.

  To our big, beautiful global community of MarieTV and The Marie Forleo Podcast fans, B-Schoolers, B-School Mentor Coaches, partners, Copy Cure students, our brilliant MarieTV guests, and the endless others I’ve connected with throughout the years—none of this would be possible without you.

  To you, dear reader. I am so grateful for the generosity of your time, attention, and heart.

  May you forever reach for your grandest dreams and highest hopes.

  . . . and never, ever fucking give up.

  APPENDIX

  EVEN MORE FIGUREOUTABLE FIELD NOTES

  We are the hero of our own story.

  Mary McCarthy

  After her financial aid was cut by 80 percent, she refused to be refused—and won over $16,000 in scholarships.

  I decided to go back to school and pursue a degree in nutrition. I applied for financial aid and received a grant that covered my first year. I quit my administration job, started waiting tables, and began my journey.

  The next year my financial aid was cut by 80 percent because I made slightly too much money waitressing. Of course, there was no way I could pay for school out of pocket and I couldn’t pick up any more shifts since I was already struggling to juggle work and school. I felt defeated, like my dream was disappearing. That’s when I saw a little talk given on Oprah’s SuperSoul Sessions where this amazing woman (that’s you, Marie!) told me, “Everything is figureoutable.” My life hasn’t been the same since.

  That quote got me thinking, “I can’t quit now, that’s ridiculous! This is figureoutable.” I started researching ways to pay for school and decided scholarships would be the way to go. The majority of scholarships in my area all had deadlines approaching. I had two weeks to write and submit five “exceptional scholarship-wi
nning” essays. All while in school and working a full-time job. Did I mention I have ADHD?

  I figured it out by doing exactly what Marie prescribes (after I freaked out a little . . . or a lot). I dismantled the monster into small pieces. I took each essay, created an outline, and entered completion dates into my planner. I tackled them one by one, piece by piece, and finished three days before the deadline. I even had time for three people to proofread my work. Breaking the project down and putting it into my planner allowed me to (1) visually see that it was doable and (2) calm down and focus, allowing my creativity to flow instead of being in a state of perpetual self-doubt.

  As a result, I was awarded the following amounts in scholarship funds: $12,000, $2,000, $1,500, $800!

  Everything is figureoutable is my foundation. It’s my blankie when things seem overwhelming. I say it out loud. I believe it. I’m not afraid anymore because it has repeatedly proven to be The Truth . . . EVERYTHING IS FIGUREOUTABLE. Thank you, Marie. You changed my life and touched my heart. I appreciate you more than words could ever say.

  —CARRIE

  TEXAS

  After delaying his artistic dreams for sixteen years, this engineer quit his job and figured out how to earn a living through his art.

  I desperately wanted to quit my corporate career and become a full-time artist. I had been creating art since childhood but instead of going to art school I studied engineering and spent sixteen years working in manufacturing and IT. I was creating art along the way, but craved more. My wife and whole family supported me when I eventually decided to quit my job. I had no idea how I was going to support us, but I told myself, “Everything is figureoutable!”