Heart of the Warrior

by Donya Lynne

  "Not. Interested." Severin rinsed the lettuce in the sink.

  "He asked about you."

  "Oh yeah? Well, fuck him."

  His mom sighed. "Just shows you can’t run forever, son."

  "Well, I have no interest in seeing him or talking to him." He paused. "What did you tell him about me?"

  "That you’re here in Chicago. That’s all. I figured I would let you decide what else to tell him when you joined us for dinner."

  Sev spun around. "Mom! Dinner? I don’t even want to pretend he’s my father, let alone have dinner with him, for Christ’s sake."

  She stood and went to the stove and stirred the chili. "He’ll be here in a couple of days. I’d like it if you stopped by."

  "Don’t hold your breath."

  "For me. Could you do this for me, Sev?"

  "Don’t ask me to do that, Mom. Please, don’t ask me." Severin’s hands temporarily balled into fists.

  "Severin, if I can forgive him for what he did to me, why can’t you?"

  "Because he’s an asshole." He set the colander of lettuce on the counter to drain onto a towel.

  "Well, he gave me you, and that’s something, isn’t it?" His mom placed her palm on his cheek and smiled.

  Sometimes Sev felt guilty for what happened to her, as if he was to blame. They had to keep their relationship a secret because it would cause them both too much pain if people knew they came from two separate sides of the old war. She would be ostracized by the drecks if they knew she had kept a vampire’s offspring and carried it to term rather than kill herself. He would be seen as a threat or a dreck sympathizer if his teammates or other vampires learned of his half dreck bloodlines. This was what they called being between a rock and a hard place.

  "Do you ever regret keeping me, Mom?"

  "What?! Of course not. Why would you even think that?"

  "Sometimes I just hate that I can’t call you Mom in public, or that I can’t introduce you to people as my mom. And maybe I feel like I hold you back."

  His mom hugged him. "Severin. You don’t hold me back. And you and I can do what we have to do to make sure it doesn’t get complicated for either one of us. Don’t worry about any of that. I love you and wouldn’t trade you for anything. I’m proud of you, even if I feel that you’re a little misguided at times."

  "I love you, too, Mom."

  "Come on, let’s eat."

  As his mom grabbed bowls and silverware, Sev glanced back at the portraits leaning against the wall in the front hall. He wondered what Arion was doing right now then realized he probably didn’t want to know.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Arion woke up in his dorm at the compound around three o’clock. He had slept like shit, waking up every forty-five minutes or so to toss and turn and nod back off. Dreams of Severin had haunted him all day: Sev dancing with him, kissing him, rubbing his aching erection…and more.

  Fuck, he had morning wood. Nice and firm and all Good morning, Ari.

  Well, too bad. He was tense and wasn’t in the mood to give his fifth appendage a handshake.

  What the hell had been up Sev’s ass last night? Sev had treated him like a second-rate citizen.

  Arion shook his head and looked down in reluctant surrender. Okay, so he wasn't that dense. He knew what the problem was, didn't he? He just didn't know how to fix it. He couldn't give Sev what he wanted – or at least what he figured Sev wanted, which was more of what they had shared in his kitchen six weeks ago.

  Then again, maybe Sev felt as uncomfortable about what had happened between them as Ari did, and this was his way of dealing with it.

  Ari should never have let them get so carried away with each other last month. He should have stopped their tryst before it began. But he had been woefully weak, and Sev had been enticingly close, and for the first time ever, Ari had succumbed to the urges of his body, as well as to his attraction to Severin.

  Ari dropped his face into his hands and groaned. He had royally fucked up. Not only was he more confused and upside-down about his own sexuality than ever before, but he had alienated the one male he was attracted to by screwing around with him out of turn.

  What was wrong with him? Until that night six weeks ago, he had known deep down he liked males but had kept that part of him hidden away, accepting superficially that being with a male was out of the question. In fact, his self-deception had been so convincing, he had assured himself he was heterosexual. As if having sex with his eyes closed and fantasizing about men was normal heterosexual behavior for a dude.

  It was what it was, and living the life of a heterosexual male was sacrosanct in his parents' eyes. Not to mention, his best friend, Io, would string him up by the balls if he thought Ari was batting for the other team now. Ari couldn't stop reminding himself of the reactions of his family and best friend, as well as the consequences if his newfound sexuality came out. The constant reminders were the only things that kept him from acting on the strengthening impulses to get Sev alone again and do unspeakable things to him. Sev's soul seemed to call to his, and every day Ari felt himself lose a bit more resolve to keep his distance.

  Unbidden thoughts of how good Sev had looked last night danced in his mind like marionettes controlled by the Devil. Sev had been a major asshole, but the male rocked blue cashmere sweaters and black slacks better than anyone. And with his hair pulled back in that sleek ponytail, Sev's sexy mug had been positively lickable.

  Maybe Sev had been an ass last night because seeing him kissing Chloe made him jealous, and if Sev was jealous, didn't that mean there was a chance Sev liked him in that way? The thought filled Ari’s heart with a healthy dose of hope he had no right to feel so good about. His pulse raced with excitement and he rubbed his hands over his bare thighs. If Sev was attracted to him and he was attracted to Sev…? He took a nervous breath and blew it out. If Sev did like him, could he somehow find a way to make a relationship with Sev work despite his need to keep up the image he was heterosexual?

  He couldn’t believe he was even thinking it, but for the first time in his life, he wanted someone. A very specific someone. He wanted Severin.

  With a surge of determination, Ari stood and paced as he raked his fingers through his thick, dark brown hair. How could he make this work? Should he even try? What if his parents or Io found out?

  Get Real, Ari. Who are you kidding? He stopped and hung his head in despair. Trying to have a relationship with Sev was a foolhardy idea. They would both get hurt in the end, and it would tear up the comfortable order in Ari’s life.

  He looked down at the tent in his boxers. "Sorry, buddy. Get used to disappointment." Disappointment had been the story of Ari’s life, so why shouldn’t his pecker share the pain?

  With a sad, reluctant sigh, he turned toward his twin-sized bed then meticulously pulled the sheets and blankets into crisp lines. He tucked in the sheets, then patted the covers under the single pillow and smoothed out the wrinkles in the bed spread. Perfect. Like everything else in his life. Except that the perfection was just a mirage, an illusion to trick everyone into thinking he was someone he wasn’t.

  His phone rang and vibrated on top of the simple desk against the wall. He frowned and rolled his eyes as he picked it up and saw who was calling.

  "Dad? This is a surprise. I was just thinking about you." Yeah, thinking about how I live a miserable life so you and Mom can be happy.

  "Oh? All good, I'm sure."

  "Of course." He had gotten so good at lying to his parents he didn't even have to try, anymore.

  "You're well, I hope?"

  "Yes. Everything's great." Lie, lie, lie. "So, what's up?"

  "Your mother wanted me to call and tell you we’re inviting your whole team to our party next weekend."

  "Oh? You are?" He hated this. He didn't even want to go, let alone have his whole team along to see the debacle of embarrassment he contended with on a regular basis. "Um, but I think we’re working that night."

  "I took care of all th
at. I already spoke to Tristan and worked it all out."

  Ari closed his eyes in frustration and pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. His dad loved throwing around his money and his power as the king's liaison like they were nothing. Dad had been part of the King’s Guard for centuries and now lived in exceptional comfort as a close personal advisor of the king, who preferred to stay out of the public eye. No one ever spoke directly to the king. That was what his liaisons and consultants were for.

  "Well, sounds like you've got it all taken care of. Why did you call me?"

  "I wanted to remind you to make sure you get here early to help us greet all the guests."

  His dad hoped to groom him for a more political position someday. Ari wasn’t remotely interested but he played along, anyway.

  "Fine. What time should I get there?"

  "Better make it nine o'clock. With the time change, I think that’s the earliest you can get here, anyway."

  Ari hated Daylight Savings Time. It meant the full-bloods would have to use their dorms at AKM more often rather than be free to go home during the day. Severin would likely be assigned day patrols to compensate for the shorter nights, too. The thought of not seeing Severin every night made his heart ache. And wasn't that an odd feeling? Ari had never felt such a dull, throbbing ache in his chest before.

  "Okay, Dad. I’ll be there. Tell Mom I said hi." He rubbed his thumb absently over his sternum, trying to soothe the ache.

  "I will. Take care, Arion."

  They hung up and Ari wondered if he would be able to get out of the party. Probably not. Damn it. He needed to toughen up and just plan to make the most of it. Maybe he would be allowed to play the piano. That would be worth it. He loved playing music and didn’t have nearly enough opportunities to do so.

  Okay, enough pussy-footing around. Time for a quick shower and a workout. He grabbed the folded towel and stack of clothes he had set out last night, along with his shaving kit, and stepped into the deserted hall.

  AKM was a veritable ghost town during the day. Except for the medical wing, the building was windowless to protect the few full-bloods who rotated day shifts to monitor dispatch and the data center, but it wasn’t until nightfall that things started hopping inside the facility.

  The community bathroom was empty and he cranked on one of the showers to get the water heated up, which usually took a couple minutes. While he waited, he brushed his teeth, shaved, and used the facilities.

  Showering made him feel a little better about the shit in his life. Then he got dressed in nylon gym shorts and a T-shirt after combing his hair and slicking it down with gel.

  Okay, so what if he showered before working out? He got made fun of for showering before and after going to the gym, but he didn’t care. Showering was to him like coffee was to other people. It woke him up, invigorated him, and got him ready for his day. Fuck what everyone else thought.

  Hmm, maybe he should take up that attitude with everyone who wanted to control who he did and didn't go out with. Wouldn’t that be interesting?

  Yeah, right. Like that would happen.

  After depositing his things back in his room and tossing his boxers into his dirty clothes hamper, he grabbed his gym bag then stopped by the kitchen for an apple and a bottle of water on his way to the training center. His footsteps echoed in the empty hall. He liked it here when it was like this. Quiet, calm, peaceful. The evening bustle always made him tense.

  He was good at his job and all, but it wasn’t what he loved. It wasn't that he hated being an enforcer. He just would have preferred to be at home writing music or playing in one of Chicago's jazz clubs every night instead of chasing drecks and other criminals.

  He was just sinking his teeth into the last bite of apple when he pulled open the door to the training center and came to a dead stop. Sev stood in front of the mirrors grinding out a set of bicep curls. His gaze jumped to Ari’s in the mirror and his arms hesitated for a split-second in their upward swing.

  Fuck. Ari hadn’t expected to see Severin here today. This was going to be uncomfortable.

  * * *

  Sev's stomach pirouetted inside his belly when he saw Arion.

  "What are you doing here?" He set the dumbbells back in the rack but didn’t turn around. Arion was the last person he had expected to run into when he'd decided to come in for a workout after his lunch with his mom.

  "I could ask you the same thing," Ari said.

  "Yeah? Well, I asked you first." He was being antagonistic and he knew it, but damn it, he didn’t need the reminder of last night. He had come here to forget about Arion, not see him. And now the male was in the same room with him, looking and smelling fucking fantastic to boot.

  "I spent the night here." Ari discarded what looked like an apple core and walked into the large room.

  "With the woman you were with last night?" Sev’s voice held an edge to it. He knew Ari hadn't brought that woman back here, though. Ari didn’t break the rules, one of which was no outsiders inside AKM. Family was okay, but no one-night stands, as it were. Micah could get away with that shit, and had with Sam – partly because she ended up being his mate – but Ari would never do something like that. He flew too close to the arrow to break rules.

  "I wasn't with her." Ari bit the words out and shot him a you’re-being-an-asshole look before hopping on a bike to warm up. "And yes. I was alone."

  Well, good then. He harrumphed and turned back to the dumbbell rack. He felt like punching something. Maybe he could go out on a day patrol and find some drecks and kick their asses for the fun of it. Yeah, and then he would find himself out of a job for starting another war between the two races. No thanks.

  He picked up the next heaviest weight of dumbbells and pounded out another set of curls. Without another word to Ari, he worked through his biceps routine before moving to chest. After loading a bar, he glanced at Ari's reflection in the mirror and saw him looking back at him. He quickly glanced away then laid down on the bench and un-racked the bar.

  "Need a spot?" Ari appeared beside him, out of nowhere.

  "No." The word shot out of Sev like an angry dart.

  "Suit yourself." Ari shook his head and grabbed a forty-pound dumbbell and pushed out a warm-up set of triceps extensions as Sev grunted through his set of presses.

  Tense silence stretched between them as they peered at each other out of the corners of their eyes, scowls firmly in place and brows bunched in irritation.

  Sev looked away and finished his set of presses and sat up to catch his breath while he rested. His gaze drifted to Ari once more. The male was built. His sculpted triceps popped on the flexion then stretched through the negative motion, and Sev wanted to trace the outline with this fingers. Or better yet, his tongue.

  Ari wasn't as large as some of the other members on the team, but his body looked like it had been chiseled from stone. By the gods, no less. He was hard in all the right places with about five percent body fat, but then that could have been his vampire genetics. He was rumored to have strong bloodlines.

  Ari's gaze caught his in the mirror again, and Sev quickly looked away and eyed the sparring mat in the center of the room. He could sure go for a match right now.

  "Hey, Ari, didn’t you say you wanted to spar with me sometime?" Maybe working out his aggression against the very person keying him up would set things right. Or maybe it wouldn't. All Sev knew right now was that he needed to work off his pain and this was as good a way to do that as any. And why not hurt the one who had hurt him? Sounded good to Sev.

  "Yes, I did." Ari’s tone held an edge of its own, as if he was thinking the same thing or at least something similar.

  Sev stood and walked toward the mat.

  "This is as good a time as any then, don’t you think?" He turned to see Ari following him.

  Ari's brow furrowed and his jaw clenched. The muscles by his ears on either side of his face bunched and flexed as if he was holding back a verbal lashing by cl
enching his jaw.

  "Sure." Ari’s eyes narrowed on him as if he was ready to exorcise a few demons of his own.

  They squared off at each other on opposite sides of the mat, arms raised, feet wide in solid stances, gazes locked.

  "You think you can hang with me?" Sev said.

  "We’ll see."

  Sev swung and Ari dodged, blocked, and retaliated with a side-arm that connected with Sev’s cheek as they whipped past each other.

  Sev's head ricocheted to the side from the impact, and he jerked his head back to the front. "Lucky shot." He flexed his jaw and touched his cheek, actually surprised at Ari’s fast reflexes.

  "It’s not luck." Ari surged forward and swung again.

  Sev caught his arm and whisked himself sideways to let Ari’s momentum carry him over as Sev flipped him.

  Ari’s body crashed to the mat, and for an instant Sev wanted to end the fight before he hurt him, but then Ari spun on his back and caught Sev’s legs between his ankles and knocked him down.

  He suddenly found himself pinned as Ari jumped on him, gripped him with both his arms and legs, then heave-hoed Sev across the mat. Shit! Ari was a strong fucker. Sev's long hair flopped over his face to disorient him as he crashed into the floor again.

  Okay, no more playing games. He hopped up and threw back his hair as he glared at Ari, who was already up and dancing around on the balls of his feet like a boxer.

  "So, you’ve got some moves of your own, huh?" Sev said.

  "I’m just full of surprises." Arion stopped hopping from foot-to-foot and walked it off, glowering right back at Sev.

  Damn, but Ari looked sexy all pissed off, his brow knitted tightly, his eyes narrowed and resolute.

  Okay, so Sev didn't need to be thinking that way right now, because it was causing him to get his ass beat. He normally didn't struggle with hand-to-hand. Maybe he was simply too emotionally vested in this sparring match to perform. Or maybe it really was that Arion's physical beauty distracted hm. Whatever the reason, he needed to gather himself.

  He tied back his hair with an elastic band and cracked his neck with a couple of side-to-side flexes.