A Secret to Die For

by Lisa Harris

  “If you haven’t noticed, we’re in the middle of a crisis with a police guard outside my room. A relationship is not what I need to be thinking about.”

  “Maybe not, but if you ask me, he seems like the best thing that’s come along for as long as I can remember. The problem is, you’ll always have an excuse why not to get involved.”

  Grace pulled out the rest of the clothes Becca had brought for her and headed to the bathroom to change. “You need to stop.”

  “You’re running.”

  “I’m not running.” She closed the door partway and started changing out of the hospital gown.

  “I just know that I saw the way he looked at you last night,” Becca said through the partially open doorway. “Something’s happened between the two of you.”

  Grace finished dressing, then stepped back into the room. “You’re always trying to read between the lines. All I really want right now are these warm clothes, a big cup of coffee, and to go home and sleep in my own bed for the next twelve hours.”

  “You’re changing the subject.”

  “Fine.” Grace walked back to the bed. She’d never been able to keep the truth from Becca. “We kissed last night when he came to see me.”

  Becca let out an unladylike snort. “I knew it.”

  “Don’t get too excited.” Grace sat back down on the bed beside her friend. “It was awkward and passionate and crazy all at the same time.”

  Becca shot her a big smile. “So I was right.”

  “Maybe, but as soon as this is over, he’s going back to his life, and I’m going back to mine.”

  “And you know that how?”

  “I’m pretty sure he regretted the kiss.”

  “Did he? Or are you simply going by something he said? Because if you ask me, his actions tell a completely different story. Maybe the guy’s shy. Maybe all he needs is a push in the right direction.”

  Grace frowned. She hated it when Becca decided to play psychologist and start analyzing everything. “Last time I checked, I was the one who went to school to learn how to read people, and as for his actions . . . he kissed me once, but we all know that statistically, relationships forged in the middle of a traumatic situation rarely last.”

  “Seriously, Grace?” Apparently Becca wasn’t buying her excuses. “You’re going to pull that line on me? Sometimes you can’t go by statistics when you’re talking about love.”

  “Maybe so, but I’m not completely ignorant about men and relationships.”

  “What does your heart tell you?”

  She reached into the bag and pulled out a tube of lotion. “That it’s not going to come to anything. At least not now. He’s lost too much to let himself care about someone again.”

  “That’s what he told you?”

  “Not exactly in those words.” She squeezed a dime-sized blob of lotion on her hands and started rubbing them together. She couldn’t let herself take an innocent kiss and twist it into something bigger. “Besides, I have no plans to give my heart away again either. I lost too much with Hannah and Kevin.”

  “Have you thought that maybe it’s time to stop using them as an excuse?”

  “I’m not like you, Becca. I don’t have to have a husband and two-point-five kids to be happy.” She dumped the lotion back into the bag, trying to ignore the sting in her friend’s words. “I can’t afford to lose everything again.”

  Her friend took her hand and caught her gaze. “You lost Kevin because he couldn’t live with the pain of Hannah’s death. It’s time you stop blaming yourself for that. It’s time you gave love another chance. Maybe Nate isn’t the one, and that’s okay. But you’ll never know until you try.”

  “You’re way too much of a romantic.”

  “If anything, having a couple kids and a husband who works too many hours has taught me that love and life and marriage aren’t just about romance and happily ever after.”

  Grace knew that as well. Sometimes it was about doctors’ visits, hospital stays, months of treatment, and horrible things like having to bury your little girl.

  But maybe it was also about second chances. About taking a risk when it came to your heart, because you knew that no matter how much it might hurt, you wanted to take a chance anyway.

  Becca squeezed her hand before letting go. “All I know is that there’s this totally hot guy out there who I’m pretty sure is falling for you.”

  Grace drew in a breath, still not convinced. “And my heart? What if it can’t take losing again? Because I’m scared. Scared of falling for someone again. Scared of the possibility of losing them. Of one day finding myself here again.”

  “I don’t know what the future holds. I know that a piece of your heart went with Kevin when he left you. And maybe that’s the kind of hole that can’t ever be completely fixed. Maybe someone like Nate just might be the one to help your heart grow—if you’ll let him.”

  22

  Fifteen minutes later, Grace had finished getting dressed, eaten a fairly decent breakfast of a cheese omelet, whole wheat toast, and orange juice, and was anxiously waiting for the doctor to sign her release papers. She glanced around the starkly decorated hospital room, thankful—not for the first time—that she was alive. A shiver ran through her. There had been a moment in the water after her hand had slipped from Nate’s that she was submerged in the darkness with no idea which way was up.

  But not only had she survived, she’d realized how much she wanted to live.

  That reality took her by surprise. How many times over the past four years had she wished she’d been the one who’d been struck with cancer instead of Hannah? Wished that she’d been the one they’d buried in the ground on that cold November day? She sat back down in the middle of the bed and pulled her legs beneath her. What had made yesterday different from all the days she’d begged God to take her home?

  “Because God knows that sometimes, after you put the pieces back together, you end up with something stronger and even more beautiful than before.”

  The words Becca had reminded her of a dozen times over the past few years raced through her mind. Losing a child had changed her, and sometimes she did feel stronger. But strong enough to open her heart up again? That was something she wasn’t sure she was ready for. And something she was pretty sure Nate wasn’t ready for either.

  The phone beside her bed rang. Grace reached for the receiver, then hesitated. Besides Becca, her parents were the only people she’d given the hospital information to, and they were never up this early. She let out a deep breath and shook off the paranoia. She was becoming like Stephen, who’d constantly looked over his shoulder. Except now she knew that his paranoia wasn’t completely off base. Stephen was dead, and only hours ago someone had tried to take her life too.

  She picked up the phone. “Hello?”

  “Grace Callahan?” A deep, raspy voice spoke on the other end of the line.

  “Yes?”

  “We believe you have Stephen’s security patch, and we’re willing to pay you for it.”

  “Who is this?” She pressed her free hand against the bed.

  “Two hundred thousand dollars. A simple trade.”

  She tried to place the voice, but it sounded like it was being digitally altered. “What makes you think I have the patch?”

  “You’ve got fifteen seconds to give us an answer.”

  Grace’s fingers tightened around the phone cord. Why would someone believe she had the security patch Stephen had written? She’d given the police the flash drive and had told them everything she could remember about her sessions with Stephen. But clearly whoever had the contents from the safe-deposit box needed that patch so the authorities wouldn’t be able to stop them. Maybe they figured out that she’d snuck something out of the bank under their noses. However they knew, this wasn’t going to be over until they were arrested and locked up in prison.

  A patch could stop the grid from going down and was their only leverage against the hackers. What if this
was their one chance to find out who was behind this?

  Heart racing, she gave her answer before completely weighing the consequences. “Where do you want me to meet you?”

  She waited for the man’s response, knowing Nate was going to kill her himself when he found out what she’d just done. But if it got them closer to the men behind Stephen’s death, it was worth the risk.

  “There’s a coffee shop two blocks west of the hospital. Be there in one hour. Give the flash drive to the redhead in the ball cap sitting in the corner of the room with a laptop, then wait for his instructions.”

  A shiver swept up her spine as she glanced toward the door. Whoever this was knew exactly where she was. They were following her, just like they’d followed Stephen. But what was going to happen when they found out she didn’t have the flash drive? Try to kill her too? She had to find a way to stall them, so Nate and his team could figure out a way to handle things.

  “There’s a guard outside my door,” she said. “They won’t let me simply walk out of here.”

  “One hour. And don’t tell anyone what you’re doing. We’re watching.”

  A second later the line went dead.

  Grace felt her hand shake as she set down the receiver. She moved to the edge of the bed and pressed her hand against her heart. She could feel it pounding through her sweater. One hour to meet with whoever had tried to kill her, and she didn’t even have what they wanted. What had she been thinking?

  She was still trying to figure out how to tell Nate what she’d just done when he strode into the room. He’d missed a crease or two in his dark-green dress shirt and looked as if he hadn’t slept at all, making her wonder if it was the case that had kept him up or the fact that he’d kissed her.

  He stopped at the end of the bed and shot her a far-too-solemn smile. “Good morning.”

  She forced a smile back. “Good morning.”

  “I thought about bringing you a couple more chocolate pudding cups, but figured you’d probably already eaten by now.”

  “They brought me breakfast a little while ago. How’s your arm?”

  He reached up and touched his shoulder. “I had some pain during the night, but it’s much better, thanks.”

  She suddenly felt awkward and self-conscious and hated it. What had happened between the two of them? Had everything really changed because of a kiss?

  “You look a lot better than you did last night,” he said. “Are you feeling thawed out yet?”

  “Almost. They’re supposed to release me soon. I’m just waiting for the final signature from the doctor, and someone to tell me I can go home.”

  “Are you sure you’re ready to leave?” Any smile she’d seen, real or not, faded.

  “I feel fine. Really. Still a bit cold, but really, I’m fine.”

  “You do understand that where you go at this point will be up to my boss. What’s most important is making sure you’re safe, which for the time being will include continued police protection. Okay?”

  She nodded, wishing he didn’t sound so businesslike. As if she were just another person of interest involved in one of his cases.

  “No arguments?” he asked.

  “After the past forty-eight-plus hours, I think I’d be foolish to argue this one.” She tilted her head. “You look surprised, but all I want to do is go home.”

  He smiled, relieved at her answer. “I guess I expected you to put up more of a fight.”

  “I may be stubborn as a mule, but that doesn’t mean I’m willing to pretend nothing could happen to me.”

  “Good. There’s also one other thing we need to talk about.” He hesitated, as if he also hated the awkwardness that had somehow been wedged between them. “About last night . . . I think it would be better if we put that behind us.”

  “Forget it.” She waved her hand, hoping she appeared as if it were no big deal to her. “The last couple days have been crazy with both our emotions strung out on edge. It’s fine.”

  It really was not fine, but she wanted things to be okay between them again, and if that’s what he wanted . . .

  “Just like I never should have let you get involved in this, I never should have taken advantage of you when you were in a vulnerable state,” he said.

  “Well, as for the kiss, I’ll admit that I participated as much as you did.” She let out a low laugh, hoping it masked the hurt trickling through her. Who was she kidding? She’d wanted him to march back into this hospital room and kiss her like he had last night. Tell her that he didn’t regret what had happened between them, and tell her he wanted to see if they could make something work between the two of them.

  But clearly that wasn’t going to happen. And if he wanted to move forward with business as usual, she could do that too.

  She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Helping Stephen has always been my choice, not yours, and I’d do it all over again if I had to. I’m not going to let Stephen die for nothing. He didn’t deserve that. But what about Macbain? Do you have an update on him?”

  “He’s fine.” Nate slipped his hand into his pocket, then frowned. “Just a bit frozen to the core, like you. He’s on his way down to the precinct right now, and will start working with our techs there to see if he can do something to stop this.”

  She caught a flicker of something new in his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I . . .” He suddenly seemed distracted. “I just lost something in the water last night.”

  She didn’t want to think about all she’d lost. Even if divers were able to find her wallet, she’d probably have to end up replacing her driver’s license, credit cards, and cell phone. At least she had Hannah’s memorial bracelet. It was one of the things Kevin had gotten for her right after Hannah died. If she’d lost that in the accident . . .

  “What did you lose?” she asked.

  “It was my . . . my grandfather’s pocket watch.” He pulled his hand back out. “A watch can be replaced, though. A life can’t. As long as all of us made it out of there alive, it’s insignificant.”

  Except she could tell it wasn’t. Not to him. And she understood why. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s nothing.”

  “There’s something I need to tell you, Nate, though I’m not sure how you’re going to take it.”

  He hesitated, then moved closer to the bed. “What’s wrong?”

  “I got a phone call right before you arrived.”

  “From who?”

  She bit her lip. “Someone who believes I have the security patch Stephen wrote.”

  “Wait a minute. Why would anyone believe that?”

  She shrugged. “Whoever Stephen worked for must have known he created the patch. They might have figured out one of the drives was missing and think I snatched the flash drive at the bank. And now they need to make sure their plans to take down the grid don’t fail. But for whatever reason, they believe I have it.”

  “What did they do? Threaten you?”

  She paused, avoiding his gaze. He’d fought her involvement this entire time. He definitely wasn’t going to like what she was about to say. “They offered me two hundred thousand dollars for it.”

  He took a step forward, shaking his head. “Two hundred thousand dollars?”

  “Either they’re getting false information from somewhere, or they’re trying to smoke me out.”

  He jumped up out of the chair and started pacing. “What phone did they use?”

  “The hospital landline.”

  “If we can trace the call—”

  “These are hackers we’re dealing with. Do you really think that would work?”

  “I don’t know.” Nate picked up the receiver and punched in *69 in an attempt to get the phone number of the last caller.

  “You’re right,” he said, hanging up.

  “Plus, they used voice alteration, so there’s no way I could recognize the voice.” She wadded up the sheet between her fingers and avoided his gaze again. “I told them I’d m
ake the trade.”

  “What?” He stood in front of her, hands at his sides as he tried to take in the information she’d just given him. “You told them you’d make the exchange?”

  “I know it sounds crazy, but if this gets us closer to whoever’s behind this, it will be worth it. The fallout from this is huge, and we’ve got to find a way to stop it.”

  “I understand what the fallout is, but that doesn’t change the fact that we don’t have the patch. And now they think you’ve got it, so no matter what happens, they’re going to try to come after you.”

  She caught the anger flaring in his eyes and the tension running up his jawline, but she still didn’t regret what she’d done. They had Macbain’s help, yes, which might pan out, but beyond that they were out of options.

  “Where are you supposed to meet them?” he asked, his voice slightly calmer.

  “At a coffee shop two blocks from here. I’m to give it to someone with red hair, a ball cap, and a laptop. I’m assuming they’re planning to check out the flash drive before handing over any money.”

  “If they’re actually even considering giving you any money. More than likely, they’re planning on eliminating you.”

  “Nate—”

  “What were you thinking? There’s no way you’re doing this.”

  Apparently, his rampage wasn’t over.

  “I know,” she said.

  He blew out a short breath. “You know?”

  “I have no intention of showing up for the drop. But you can, or you can send someone in . . . that’s up to you. I don’t care. But whoever called me is desperate. Willing to take a chance to get that patch. They have to make sure we don’t put in the patch before they can take down the grid.”

  She waited for him to answer.

  “What do we do now?” she asked.

  “I don’t know. If you’d had a flash drive on you, it would have gotten wet, or even potentially lost in the lake.” Nate was pacing, speaking his thoughts out loud. “Though the one you grabbed at the bank was waterproof.”

  “I can see Stephen taking that precaution.”

  Nate stopped in front of her, as if he was running through his options and didn’t like any of them. She couldn’t exactly blame him. He’d lost his team. Almost lost her. He wasn’t going to want to handle going through that again.