Dreaming in Chocolate

by Susan Bishop Crispell

  “I believed in it for so long, Mama. With all my heart. It didn’t make any difference.”

  “She wasn’t dying last year. You didn’t believe with all of your heart. This time is different. You not only want the magic to work, but you need it to as well.”

  What Penelope needed was a miracle. And the most their chocolates were capable of was a temporary fix that tricked the mind into seeing what it wanted. She used her finger to scrape the lavender out of the stone mortar into the mixing bowl with the powdered milk and salt. “How can you say that? I had the entire town make an extra wish for Ella to get better. I couldn’t have wanted anything more than I wanted that.”

  “But a part of you always thought she would be okay. That we wouldn’t really lose her. I thought the same thing. She was too young, too loved, too important to die so soon. We didn’t trust that we needed the magic to heal her, so it didn’t. But now we know we were wrong. We can save her this time.”

  “I want you to be right. So badly. But what happens when it doesn’t work again? When we’ve tricked ourselves into believing she has a second chance and she dies anyway? At least my way we all have a chance to say goodbye on our own terms. That’s all I can hope for at this point.”

  “Well, I don’t want to say goodbye at all,” Sabina said.

  Neither do I, Penelope thought. But not everyone got what they wanted.

  * * *

  Late in the afternoon, Noah texted her saying he would bring Ella by the shop sometime “later.” Which was a huge help and not near enough all at once. Because once Ella was there, Penelope’s focus would shift from the massive batch of hot chocolate she needed to complete to Ella asking to go home every five minutes because she was bored. Even knowing that, she hadn’t been able to ask Layne or Noah to keep Ella all night.

  Penelope’s stomach had been growling for the past hour. She thought about having something delivered, but she didn’t have time to spare to make the call, much less time to eat food when it arrived. Instead, she chugged a bottle of water and hoped that would tide her over for another few hours.

  A car door slammed on the street. She turned as Ella flung open the front door and ran in with a paper bag clutched to her chest. Noah was a step behind with another two bags. The scent of fried rice and spice overpowered that of the chocolate, filling the room for a few seconds.

  “Ella said you’d probably be too busy to eat on your own so we should bring you something. I said you’d be smart enough to take a break, refuel so you’d have enough energy to make it through the rest of the evening. But she was right, wasn’t she?” Noah asked.

  “She’s lived with me her whole life. Gives her an advantage,” Penelope said.

  “No, dinner was Noah’s idea,” Ella said, interrupting them. “But I told him what you liked. And he said he was gonna make me try an egg roll because it’s a travis-tree that I haven’t had one before. Whether I wanted to or not.” She set the bag down on the side bar and began digging through it.

  “A travesty?” Sabina asked, hugging Ella, who repeated the word in a whisper a few times so she’d get it right the next time. “Well, I guess you’re gonna have to then since he’s the one who bought us all dinner.”

  “Is this it?” Ella asked. She held up the small white bag by one corner pinched between her forefinger and thumb like it might eat her instead of the other way around. Grease stains ranged over the thin paper in large splotches.

  Before Penelope could tell her to be careful, Noah stepped in, holding a plate under Ella’s outstretched hand and stuffing a napkin into her free one.

  “You eat, you sit,” Noah said. “That goes for y’all too. Every time I passed the shop today you had a line to the door. You both need a break while there’s no one in here.”

  “We can take ten minutes,” Sabina said when Penelope started to protest about how much work they had left to do.

  He pressed a takeout container into Penelope’s hand. “Take twenty. I’m here as long as you need me. Either to give an extra pair of hands or to entertain the kid and keep her out of your way. Now eat.”

  Penelope shot a glance at the sidewalk. It remained empty for the moment. She settled onto one of the couches, tucking a leg underneath her to make enough room for Noah to sit beside her, and rolled her tense shoulders, which popped a couple times. Instead of sitting, Noah moved behind the couch and splayed his hands across her shoulders. First food, then a massage? How was she supposed to resist that? Her head dropped forward, giving him better access, and he worked his fingers into the knots on her upper back, dipping his fingers underneath the neckline of her shirt and increasing the pressure a bit.

  “Is it always like this for the festival?” he asked.

  “No,” Penelope said.

  “Yes,” Sabina said.

  Noah chuckled. “Okay.”

  Sabina blew on a forkful of pineapple and fried rice, holding it steady while she answered. “Most people come in a day or two ahead of time wanting to increase their chances of making the festival magic work. But this year we’ve had considerably more interest than in the past.”

  “They’re worried Penelope might be right about the hot chocolate being a placebo?” he asked.

  Penelope forked up some rice and let it hang in the air as steam wafted from it. “No. They’re all convinced I’m wrong and want to prove it.”

  Ella gave an affronted little huff. “But Mama, the magic has to work. I need it to make sure I finish all the things on my list.” Her greasy fingers slipped off the compass necklace she’d unearthed from her shirt. Despite Penelope telling her repeatedly that she was only allowed to wear it if she asked first, Ella had taken to wearing it almost every day. But especially on the days she was going to see Noah.

  “So, what’s on this list that’s so important you need magic to make it happen?” Noah asked.

  Ella set her uneaten egg roll back on her plate. “I’m trying to make my mom—”

  “Ella,” Penelope warned.

  “What?” Ella asked, a guilty smile curling her lips.

  “Eat.”

  “But he asked me a question.”

  A question Penelope did not want answered. Especially not when Noah was the one asking. He did not ever need to know how much power he had over her heart. Then or now. She frowned at her daughter. “And you’re using it as an excuse not to eat your egg roll. It’ll be a whole lot better if you eat it hot.”

  Noah took the other roll out of the bag and took a bite. After he swallowed, he said, “They’re not bad cold. But if I were you I’d eat it now.”

  “You’re really going to make me do this?” Ella asked, eying the egg roll as if she could make it disappear with her mind.

  “You can put it on your list afterward,” he said.

  Ella twisted her face into a disgusted look. “One bite. That’s all.”

  “I’ll bet you a dollar you want more than one bite.” Noah bit another inch off his roll and grinned at her despite his overfull mouth.

  When Noah won—and Ella polished off the whole thing—she had to ask Penelope for a dollar to pay him.

  “You’ll have to earn it,” Penelope said and sent Ella into the back to throw away all of their trash.

  After a few minutes, she called Ella’s name to make sure she wasn’t finding some sort of trouble to get into back there by herself. With Ella’s obsession with the table, Penelope could never be too sure what her daughter was hoping to get out of it.

  “Can we go home now?” Ella asked when she came back out. Clutching her necklace in one hand, she smiled at Noah. As if he had any say in how long Penelope and Sabina would stay at work preparing for the festival.

  Penelope had already returned to the front counter where she marked off items on her checklist. “Not quite yet. Grams and I still have a few things to get done before tomorrow.” She’d put off making the hot chocolate mix as long as she could. If she was going to keep her promise to the town, she had to make it tonight.
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br />   “Noah can take me home and stay with me until you’re done, right Noah?” Ella’s state of awe when it came to him had doubled in the past half hour as if the egg roll had entranced her just as easily as one of Penelope’s chocolates.

  “Yeah, sure. I can do that,” Noah said.

  Penelope waved him off. “You don’t need to do that. She’ll be fine here. We won’t be here too much longer anyway.”

  He leaned on the counter so his face was only a few inches from hers. As if he knew the thought of him roaming free in her house set her on edge. “It’s really not a problem. I’ll probably be more help there than here anyway. And it’ll get her out of your hair.”

  “Hey! I’m not in her hair,” Ella protested.

  “That’s not helping the cause here, kid.”

  Ella clapped a hand over her mouth. Then she spread her fingers wide enough to say, “I’m definitely in your hair, Mama. Noah should take me home now.”

  Somehow they convinced her that she had no other options. Penelope couldn’t figure out where she lost the argument, only that she had.

  31

  A layer of cocoa powder coated the kitchen. Noah didn’t have a clue how it had gotten everywhere. It followed Ella wherever she went no matter how many times he wiped it off her hands, face, hair, clothes. His only explanation was that it came out of Ella’s pores like fairy dust. His shirt was covered too, but that she’d done on purpose, pressing a powder-covered hand over his heart and telling him she’d gotten the recipe for the cookies they were making from the magic table at Penelope’s shop when she’d asked it for a way to make him stay.

  So there wasn’t any way he could be annoyed at her for the disaster that was currently the kitchen. She was just too damn cute.

  Checking the recipe to make sure there wasn’t anything magical he had missed, he asked, “What’s so special about these cookies anyway?”

  “Nothing,” Ella said, poking out her bottom lip in a pout.

  “Then why was it so important that we make them?”

  “I was looking for something to make you stay but the table gave me a recipe for regular cookies instead of magic ones and my mom said it’s up to me and not magic to show you that you belong here. With us.”

  He didn’t know whether to be impressed or worried that Ella might have charmed him into staying if the table hadn’t given her a nonmagical recipe. Not that he’d mind a little magic pushing Penelope over onto his side. But the idea that he might not have complete control over his life where Penelope and Ella were concerned lurked in the back of his mind.

  With two cookie sheets full, Ella dropped the spoon back into the bowl of dough with a loud clang. “How long do they have to bake?” she asked, bouncing in front of the loaded cookie sheet on the island.

  “Nine minutes,” he said.

  “Okay, I’ll set the timer and you put them in the oven ’cause I’m not allowed to do that. I burned my hand once and my mom said I wasn’t allowed to use the oven until I was in double digits. Sometimes, though, she’ll let me hold the door open when she puts the tray in and out. As long as I stay off to the side.” Ella whipped the door open with a dramatic wave of her hands and stepped aside so Noah had room to maneuver around her.

  “Timer?” he asked.

  “Oh, right,” she said and ran behind him and around the island to the other side of the oven. She jumped when she got there, snatched the timer from the back of the counter, and landed back on the floor with enough force that the baking sheets clattered against the oven racks. “Nine?” Ella asked. He nodded. She twisted the knob on the owl-shaped timer and carried it back to her seat at the island.

  While the cookies baked, Noah poured two glasses of milk and settled into the chair next to her. Ella mirrored his position, slouching with elbows propped on the counter and chin resting on linked hands. She flicked her eyes to the side without turning to look at him, her lips sliding into a smile.

  “Do you know what you’re going to use your festival wish for?” Ella asked.

  “I thought your mom said the hot chocolate didn’t work?” he asked.

  “She’s wrong. It does. The magic didn’t fix me last year, but that’s okay. I know it still works.”

  He wanted Ella to be right more than he realized. “You sound awfully sure about that, kid.”

  Ella’s expression turned serious, her eyes narrowing and locking on his. “I am. My grams says you have to believe in something if you want it to work. And my mom’s too sad about me being sick to believe right. So I have to believe enough for both of us.”

  If anyone could make magic work from sheer willpower, Noah would put money on it being Ella. “Then I guess you already know what you’re going to wish for, huh?”

  “Yep. And then my mom will know that everything worked out the way it was supposed to.” She lifted his arm over her head and snuggled into his side. “And we’ll all be happy. Together.”

  Maybe if he believed hard enough too, they could make it a reality.

  When the timer went off, Noah removed the cookies from the oven, transferred them to the wire cooling racks, and waited a good two minutes before determining that was long enough. He broke one open, trails of steam escaping the still-gooey middle, and popped a hunk in his mouth. Wincing, he breathed through his mouth to cool it off then chased it with a long gulp of milk. He barely managed to stop Ella before she burned her mouth like he had.

  “They’re still a little hot. Why don’t you run upstairs and change into your pajamas while these cool and we can watch a movie before bed?”

  She dropped the cookie back onto the cooling rack and said, “I’ll meet you in the living room when I’m done. Don’t forget to bring the cookies with you. And don’t worry, we’re allowed to eat in there. I do it all the time. We just can’t leave any food or dishes in there because my mom doesn’t like when things are messy.”

  “Then we better not leave a mess,” he said.

  When she raced out of the room, Noah scanned the disaster area that was the kitchen and decided he’d attack it after he put Ella to bed. He plated half a dozen cookies, balanced the plate on top of one of the glasses of milk, and carried them to the living room. Not a minute later Ella’s feet pounded in the hallway above. She skidded at the bottom of the stairs in her sock feet, the tail of a blanket trailing behind her. Her other hand gripped a black-and-white-striped stuffed animal to her chest. She climbed onto the couch and burrowed into Noah’s side. He wrapped his arm around her, gripping the blanket she had draped across both of them.

  “I like you babysitting me, Noah. If you lived here, we could do this every night,” Ella said a while later as she leaned over to get her third cookie.

  “I don’t think you need a babysitter every night,” he said.

  Crumbs clung to the corners of her lips. “No, I mean if you lived in the house with us. And then you wouldn’t be a babysitter, you’d be like my dad or something.”

  He handed her a napkin when she ate the last bite. “Whoa there, kid. I can’t even get your mom to go out to dinner with me without you tricking her into it. I think we’re a ways off from her asking me to move in.”

  “She’s just being stubborn.”

  “That seems to run in the family.”

  “What does that mean?” she asked.

  “It means that you’re stubborn too.” He laughed and pressed a kiss to her temple. Her hair smelled like chocolate and he realized he probably should’ve made her take a bath after they had finished baking. “But for what it’s worth, I can be pretty stubborn too, so I’m not giving up on her just yet.”

  “Can I tell you a secret? One you have to promise not to tell anyone. Not even my mom.” Ella whispered the last part as if Penelope could somehow hear her.

  Noah dipped his head toward her, meeting her stare, and pressed his lips together to keep from laughing at her seriousness. “Must be pretty important if I can’t even tell her.”

  “It is. And I’ll tell her after t
he festival, but I don’t think she’s ready to know it yet.”

  “But you think I’m ready?”

  She shoved up onto her knees, wrapping her small, but surprisingly strong, hands around his arm. When she grinned at him, her tongue poked through the gap in her teeth where two had come out. “Yep.”

  “Well, I can’t argue with that.” He steadied her with his free hand so she didn’t topple off the couch. “Spill, kid.”

  “I didn’t know we were going to make the cookies tonight. My mom said we’d do it next week, but I really needed something before the festival so that you didn’t waste your wish on something else. So I went to ask the magic table for help and it gave me this.” Ella lifted up her pajama top and removed a photo she’d held in place with the elastic band on her pants.

  There was no way the picture could exist. Not without the help of Photoshop anyway. Or magic. In the photo, he, Penelope, and Ella made silly faces at the camera, smooshed close together so they all fit in the shot. And there cradled to Ella’s chest was his cat, Bombay.

  “What is this?” he asked.

  “It’s a picture of me, my mom, my dad, and my cat.”

  Noah snapped his head up, tearing his gaze away from the photo. Dad? The sudden pressure in his chest tightened until every heartbeat throbbed in his ears and drowned out whatever else Ella had said. He swallowed hard, the dryness in his throat making it difficult for him to say more than, “You mean I’m going to be your stepdad?”

  “No. You are my dad. As soon as my necklace went nuts around you like it does with my mom, I knew you belonged with us. I put you on my list and everything, though she said I shouldn’t. And tonight I asked the table for proof that you were my dad so you would believe me and stay. And there you are, right in my picture like you’re supposed to be. And I have a cat too. It’s everything I wanted all in one.”

  “There I am,” he said. It was too much to wrap his brain around. Sure, it was definitely possible. He and Penelope had gone that far on a couple occasions. But if he’d gotten her pregnant, she would have told him. She would have tried to stop him from leaving town.